Only you can turn back the horsemen fellow Fredericktonians!
We are so sorry to have to bring this to you on a dreary Friday afternoon. We know this news is not want you wanted to see before you start your weekend. But, it’s our duty to inform. Your Yokel gals found this floating around on the interwebs today:
Breathe! Count to 10! Breathe again!
If this is his candidacy announcement, it needs a few tweaks! But seriously folks, even though a Delauter administration (Oh, how it hurt to write that) would keep this blog in business for quite some time, we wouldn’t wish that kind of destruction on our county. It’s time to come out strongly against this before he gets serious. We don’t need any more national embarrassments.
As you read in our first report on the sick dog and pony show this evening Kirby spent quite some time coming up with an alternative budget. We rejoin our fine coverage at the hearing to establish the property tax rate. Not a single speaker was on hand to utter a negative word about keeping the rate at $1.06. Some fine points were made in fact, and we are very happy that people actually realize that our government funds some really necessary services for our county. And District 5 why did you saddle us with Kirby when you had an excellent alternative in Mark Long? We want answers! Final vote on the rate will be held on May 17th.
We are so very sorry, dear readers, but we cannot sit through any more of Kirby’s amendments. He tells us that Meals on Wheels is an excellent program on one hand, and with the other he has his scissors out to cut the entire $23,000 county contribution. We have to move ahead to the Council member comments.
Poor little monkey!
Kirby’s up first and man oh man, hasn’t he talked enough tonight? You would think all of his dead amendments would be enough to humble him, but NOOO. He wants $150,000 for bus transportation to Mother Seton school. That’s right he wants bus transportation to a private school. He also adds that Jan should be down on her hands and knees thanking the last BOCC. Without their business friendly policies she wouldn’t have all the extra greenbacks to spend. Don’t hold your breath Kirbo! Then he ends with a very contradictory statement about how the nursing home is run pretty good right now but will still destroy us all in the end.
It’s Billy’s turn.
Sorry Princess Kitty, it’ll be over soon.
You know something Yokels? As much as we disagree with just about everything that came out of Tony and Kirby’s mouth tonight, at least they did something. Billy had nothing to offer. Besides screaming “second” to Kirby’s amendments he had nothing original to contribute. So why should we expect anything of substance at comment time? One sentence comes out of his mouth: It’s sad we couldn’t get a Republican majority on the board…we supposedly have one. So we guess county council meetings are really just a war for Billy. R’s vs. D’s. How’s that been working out for ya? He then disappears. That’s right, he walks right out.
Jerry is up. And oh how so refreshing it is to hear a grown up talk. He points out that those members who actually sat down with the County Executive and voiced their concerns, didn’t have to make a million amendments and waste everyone’s time. Imagine that, working together to come up with a budget instead of putting on an embarrassing show. It’s revolutionary!
Jessica points out the BOCC’s budgets always went up and in fact they grew at a faster rate than those proposed by the County Executive. Huh.
Tony doesn’t have a problem raising taxes.(!) He wants us to know, however, that the economy will NEVER be like those of the past.
M.C. thanks the staff and commends them for coming out on their own time to defend their budgets against Kirby’s cuts. And yes, these poor people. To be a fly on the wall during their Happy Hour.
Bud feels bad that Kirby spent so much time and money on his budget. (Please don’t Bud!) He lets Kirby know that he feels you get further ahead when you sit down and talk to people then when you fight them from afar. Bud speaks of allowing Kirby’s amendments to be presented, to which Kirby starts his back sassing and subsequently storms out. Probably to join Billy at wherever they go to slam back the Fireballs. Bud ignores the petulant man child to finish his remarks with his usual style and grace. President Otis, you can’t reason with that man, it isn’t even worth your breath.
Well, folks, we have been digesting The Fearsome Budget Workshop of 2016 in fits and starts. A four hour long posturing about all the ways we can trim the fat off of the budget. This consists of 3 proposed budget amendments by Tony Chmelik and a whopping 18 by Kirby Delauter, few of which make any sense at all, so we will have to beg your forgiveness for not describing all of the nonsense in great detail. Further confusion ensued when Kirby tried to start with amendment #7, but we digress…
Tony Chmelik talked about how we shouldn’t pay our county employees real well because they have job security. It’s a head scratcher folks. A whole passel of em didn’t feel real secure in their jobs during the reign of terror that was our ultimate BOCC. Surely you recall? Plus also, why should we worry about attracting the most talented people to come work for us in the public sector? It would be better if it is just a crapshoot, right?
He and Kirby both have some ideas that involve it not really mattering a whole lot if some people are overworked because of layoffs and attrition, because who cares if county business is efficient. We guess. It’s hard to follow. They do and don’t want an attorney, because Chomel is good but he is busy, at least according to the people who have needed to consult him to write legislation. M.C. Keegan-Ayer directed some such remark at petulant Billy. Ya burnt!
One of the agencies that our dimwits are keen to starve is the Office of Economic Development and their FITC program (Frederick Innovative Technology Center–FITC rhymes with Mitzi, FYI). You know, the agency that promotes business development in the biotech industry, which is kind of good for the local economy (who’s gonna buy all them houses you like seeing built, boyzzzzz?). These are the most confusing Republicans. One almost suspects that they are kidding and just anticipate that Bud Otis will not let them shoot themselves and everyone else in the feet, and then they can be “fiscally conservative” while he votes responsibly to save everyone’s hide (keep this in mind in the upcoming national election when you think you will write in Ralph Nader or some analogous dreamboat, mkay?). Then they can tar and feather him for being insufficiently stupid partisan.
Chmelik rails against holding money in an account in order to move toward upgrading our bond rating. Because, again, that’s fiscally conservative. Somehow. We feel all crazy inside. Also, he rails against it, but then votes in opposition to the amendment that would take that money out and either spend it or give it back to everyone with a letter that they can go out to dinner now, because…reasons. Oh, right, he likes to be a longwinded loudmouth about his shrink the government philosophy even when he knows perfectly well it is not making a dang ol bit of sense.
They both also have some ideas that involve not holding up our ends of a bargain (or also not upholding the law, if you want to just hang on a bit until we drown so much government in the bathtub that we become Flint, MI). Chmelik objects to replacing grant money from the state that was used in violation of the terms of the grant, and then also meeting the terms of that grant. Doing so includes a matching fund from the county, and he behaves as though this is all just a ruse to pay for the same thing twice.
But the icing on that crazy cake was when our three teapublicans get clarification that they are indeed functioning on a shoestring with regard to clean water legislation. This is permitted while they work out their differences in a circuit court proceeding. Any further reduction in compliance with the Clean Water Act means tens of thousands of dollars every day in punitive fines to both the federal and state governments, and potential prison sentences. “Oh well,” they decide. It’s a waste of cash because you can’t even see the clean drinking water you get, like you can see a road. No, we are not making ANY of this up. And “Heh heh heh,” Kirby decides let’s just hold that million dollars to the side for bail money.” Sooooo save nothing and maybe end up in jail? Cool. How do you sign up for that? Forget drowning the government. These idiots are so stupid it’s a wonder they can drink a glass of water and survive the experience.
We do hope the Boy Scouts in attendance had already been whisked away home last night before they got to witness that.
The pollen must be getting to your friendly Yokels because we are all so tired of this budget nonsense. And tonight’s agenda looks as though we are in for more of it! Even though Councilman Billy Shreve is now a friend of the Yokel, don’t count on him picking you up, “comrades.” So take it easy and be responsible!
Seven budget transfers on the agenda, including one for the BOE (oh dear!), if anyone states an unrelated objection, since it is the fashion to grandstand lately, sip heartily on your Seven and Seven.
Time to approve the past minutes. Always a mystery as to why Billy won’t vote to approve. He was there, at least physically, what’s the prob? When he says no, pick your favorite flavor of Absolut vodka and have a shot or two. Because we are absolutely sick of his antics.
Also amongst the business items for decision: council procedure. Again we are in Billy dream fugue territory, and as there is no chance of an affirmative action allowing to hear from him at absolutely any given time during a meeting (Why does it even matter? He does that anyway.) He will probably be testy. We must recommend the Lucid absinthe.
And the budget is up, and at the last convocation of this august body we heard Kirby had a self-described half-baked plan. Surely that is a smoldering pile by now. We look forward to these ideas.
You know how we are, locals. Always stalking the inter webs where some of our most favorite fools publicly post whatever idiot notion lights up their shriveled little raisin brains. Well, we have an inkling that one of the more colorful fools about town might have something negative to say about wheelchair ramps! It is truly difficult to see where some of these characters are coming from, but we do hope he will try to explain. And without slurring any words, please! So if our suspicions are true and there is really uproar over handicap ramps, mix up a Sit on My Face cocktail, since that will be preferable to listening to that!
It’s time for a hearing to keep the tax rate static, or according to the usual suspects, It’s tax hike time!!!” We heard this same exact argument this time last year. And we are oh so sure the same exact refuted points will once again rear their ugly head. So every time Jan is accused of being a tax and spender have a sip of the Promise Land. Hopefully one day we will be there.
Hopefully you have a good enough buzz to help you through the public and council member comments. Don’t you love budget time in Olde Fredericktowne?
Thank you for this gift Councilman Delauter. We always look forward to your Tentacle articles.
It’s about that time again folks. Kirby has keyed up another article for that slithery appendage. Be sure to read through it a couple of times, because it takes that long to digest. If you can’t bring yourself to do so, read our nice synopsis below.
Now you know we are in for a treat with a title like this:
The Budget, Constituent Service and Schools
That’s a lot of ground to cover! First we are reminded of the time crunch between the time the County Executive has to present the budget and the time the County Council has to approve it. So Kirby, you better put forth an amendment to extend that in the charter since that’s the only way to fix it. I am sure the citizens of this fine county will be more than willing to give you more time. Then it’s the same blah, blah we don’t have any help so how do you expect us to do this? Afterwards, we are reminded that he was the ONLY one that came up with an alternative budget. And that he and Billy are once again the ONLY council members willing to do their own analysis. Now for a moment let’s fly back to last year. We found this nice little write up from the FNP. Remember when Billy did this:
At one point, Councilman Jerry Donald asked about the impact of following Shreve’s suggestion to completely eliminate a $1.2 million allocation for snow removal.
“What would happen if it snows?” he asked.
“We’d pray it didn’t,” said Doug Browning, the county’s chief administrative officer.
Thankfully that didn’t happen because remember this folks?:
Photo courtesy Frederick News Post
That’s right we had a blizzard!!! And Jan had this to say about the changes Kirby wanted to make to the budget. She said they were:
unclear and do not maintain a balanced budget
So it’s not enough to say and do things if they are destructive and make no sense. The next section complains about he and Billy being treated like third graders.(Yes folks, he complained about feeling like a third grader put in time out). Do we have to point out that if you act like third graders that’s the way people will treat you? Kirby even admits that he lost his cool when he “used a few choice words” to express his discontent over not being allowed to talk to someone at the county dump.
Alright Kirby, just calm down!
From day one, these two have been uncooperative, combative and have usedWFMDand their writings on the Tentacle and other “news” websites to attack their fellow members of the county government. Not to mention their behavior in meetings. We will allow that if Kirby and Billy are required to follow different protocol to talk with county staff than the other members then they may have a small point. But they have offered no proof of this. And we see the logic of individual council members not barraging county staff with one request after another. You are on a collective body that makes decisions together Kirby, you don’t get to be a lone wolf.
We are so very sorry to have to tell you that this happened again:
The horse is so very, very dead. Please stop beating it.
We guess there’s at least two more years of hearing this:
Yes, these councilmen somehow with a straight face vote on the budget that funds their employer and ultimately their own salaries. These are the same people who voted with the county executive and President Otis to disallow my company to bid on work in the county.
So we feel the need to bring out our nice little chart again:
No matter how you try to spin it Kirby this is how it is. Even if the numbers change, the message is still exactly the same as it was last year.
Kirby equates this “logic” to transgender bathrooms. Surprise, surprise, he’s against them. But why he used this time to slip that in is beyond us.
Now, for the conclusion, Kirby sorta kinda has an idea for school construction. But he’s not sure, and then is sure it will be great, even if it isn’t all worked out. And of course it has to do with privatization.
Not sure Sweetums. Sorry you had to be exposed to this!
So Billy’s wordsmithing again. We know, we know, you don’t want to look. We’ll try to sum it up as nicely as we can. But it is always helpful to see the words first hand. A friend of the Yokel recently told us that the best strategy is to hand the idiot the microphone and let them do their thing.
Before we get into the breakdown, besides Kirby, does any other elected official go around writing terrible things about their co-workers? Seriously folks, is this a thing anywhere else? Or are we just special here in Frederick County? We sure as hell know that in any other workplace situation this type of behavior would be grounds for dismissal. He doesn’t just argue points of disagreement he says things like this:
Frederick County is being ruled, not governed. Is this what you wanted when you voted for Charter Government? One person rules the County? Bud Otis has allowed the County Council to be diminished to vapor. Bud is being lead around like a trained monkey by the Democrats.
You know, we here at the Yokel are feeling generous today so we are going to try and help Billy out. Instead of of saying the county council has been vaporized and Bud is being led around like a trained monkey, perhaps something like this:
“I have some real concerns that the county council has not had enough input on the budget process. I also feel as though President Otis is not listening to my concerns. Perhaps we can set up a time and talk about this like grown men? How about next Tuesday at 1:00?” And then Billy, you listen and communicate like the grown up you are suppose to be!
Isn’t that so much nicer? And maybe, just maybe your fellow council members would be more willing to listen to what you have to say. We can imagine that your co-workers and the County Executive may not want to deal with someone who refers to them as tyrants, monarchs, incompetents and primates. But maybe that’s just us.
Let’s continue with the diatribe. Even though Billy has done this budget thingy for 5 years he still can’t get it. Despite the others talking with the head of every department and the budget director (who seems like a very knowledgeable and friendly fellow who has yet to be jaded by Billy’s antics) offering his help and advice at every step of the way, it’s not enough. So Billy tries to disparage his fellow council members (sans two of course):
Your tax dollars, $550 million of them controlled and approved by a history teacher, music teacher, PTA activist, and former Washington bureaucrat. None of them are qualified to review a $550 million budget, none of them CPA’s, none of them with any previous budget experience.
What do you do exactly Billy? How many people in our U.S. Congress are CPAs? Or what about in the State House? Good Lord, grasping at straws. If he feels, after 5 years of doing this, that he still can’t get it, then maybe, just maybe it’s time to admit this isn’t the job for him.
The end goes like this:
Bud Otis did make one budget request this year…. He wants a security detail for himself. He calls it executive protection. The comments on his Facebook page, your calls and emails.… He wants protection.
We looked through the budget and could find no such request. And if Bud does feel like he needs protection, we bet it’s for good reason. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Bud has been receiving threats and at times may feel unsafe. And IF that is the case, Council Member Shreve, perhaps you share some responsibility in that.
Well, maybe not the best. But it sure makes Billy whine.
Oh Yokels, we cannot begin to convey to you how torturous it is listen to a budget meeting populated by Tea Partiers whose very mission is to dismantle it. But we did…you’re welcome!
The beginning of our meeting tonight was a presentation by County Attorney Mathias over amendments to the charter. Some dates…The council must have any proposed changes in by July 29th, as well as any petitions from the public. The changes will then go on the November ballot to be voted aye or nay by the public. Now Billy has been getting tons of calls (we know Billy loves taking your calls) from the public asking how to get the old BOCC system back. Now he’s just asking questions folks! He wants to know how many signatures and just how quickly the charter system will be thrown out. Because sure, let’s give up after less than two years. Quitter.
And all of us as well!
So Yokels, now we are going to have to be on the look out for this petition. Because we just know it’s going to happen.
So on to the budget amendments. Three hours worth, and they had to cut it short.
Kirby goes off on the amount of time they have to review the budget. M.C. agrees and almost makes his head explode. However, they are constrained by the charter and the timeline within. Therefore, make an amendment to the charter for this November. We are reasonable folks, Kirby. We’ll give that to ya!
Tony doesn’t like to create jobs. Questions many, many new positions. It gets quite tiresome. But the creme de la creme was his suggestion to remove $4.5 million to the BOE to teach them a lesson. He wants to “hold their feet to the fire” on the issue of teacher salaries. He reasons if we take the money away but hold it in some little secret bunker they will be forced to deal with this. Seems to us that they’ve been wanting to do that but some old BOCC wouldn’t give them the funding. Is this really about keeping the MOE number down? We think so. Doesn’t pass, which Tony admits he knew would happen. Budget director also has to warn him of unintended consequences of such an act. 20 minutes wasted.
Even though there is a clear process for a non profit to get money from the county (they have to fill out forms and be investigated), Tony still feels like we are picking the winners and losers. Kirby will write you a check. Well, unless you are a local high school football team, but he doesn’t want to force others to. Then, M.C. comes to the rescue about how government should help those less fortunate. Doesn’t fit into their worldview though.
More quibbling over that timeline, because Kirby has many (according to Billy, anyway, there will be many–possibly substantive–budget amendments). But, Kirby is late with his budget amendment homework because what he was scribbling on probably blew away when he was peen’ in the side yard. That was a half baked version (his own words–yep–he’s just got a “half baked” thing). Of course, there was no time to think on this, because that charter that Blaine needed is very tricky. So, again, in his own words, he’s just gonna send em in a e-mail. Does anyone remember Kirby’s nonsense budget last budgeting season? Because this feels a lot like that, but it is due by noon on Thursday. But not if its substantive.
If there is any question at all in anyone’s mind that the basic approach of certain partisans is to absolutely destroy a functioning government so that they can sit back and watch it burn (and then tell you what a clusternut the whole thing is) it would really behoove said skeptic to watch a local government function that incorporates the input of two or so Tea Party jesters.
You may have heard that the scourge of modern day American politics slithered his way out to Hagerstown yesterday. What you may not have heard is that Blaine, Kirby and Billy decided to get the band back together so they could scream like a bunch of groupies at a Justin Bieber concert.
Someone needs to work on their selfie technique. What’s going on with Kirby? And poor Billy, put in the back again.
Blaine, Kirby and Billy have all been very vocal about their support of Trump. Billy seems especially giddy over the possibility of a Trump presidency. Look what he said to the FNP:
Shreve, who is also running as a delegate to the national convention, said Trump’s comments mirrored the campaign promises of himself and Delauter.
“It’s really similar to the things we said when we ran for office. He said, ‘We’re open for business,’” Shreve said after the speech. “If he wins, you’re going to see our style of politics get big again in Frederick County.”
Hear that folks? “Really similar.” And do we want that “style” of politics back in Frederick County?
We’ve made no secret how we feel about Trump, and how dangerous his rhetoric is. Not to mention the fact that he has absolutely no experience nor does he possess the temperament to be President of our fine nation. It’s nice to know some of our local politicians admire these traits in him.
So much has happened this past week in Ye Olde Fredericktowne that your friendly Yokels have decided to do a weekly roundup. Let’s start with the County Council and happy budget fun time.
We’ve written two posts this week about budget talk. Read it here and here. However, we were very interested to find this in the Political Notes section of the paper this morning:
County Executive Jan Gardner’s budget announcement last Friday included a new little nugget. Well, five of them.
Gardner said she extended an invitation to all seven Frederick County Council members to talk about the budget, including a list of their priorities. Five members took her up on the offer: Democrats Jerry Donald, M.C. Keegan-Ayer and Jessica Fitzwater and Republicans Bud Otis and Tony Chmelik.
Gardner said she couldn’t meet all of their requests, but each was considered in her proposal.
Councilmen Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter, also Republicans, didn’t take Gardner up on the offer, apparently.
It seems they have other plans.
Shreve, who is still upset the council doesn’t have a dedicated budget officer, gave handouts to his colleagues, showing that they are the only council in the state without such help. Nevertheless, Shreve said he was going to dig into the numbers.
“I’m going to work on this budget. Look at it. See if we can make some changes,” he said Tuesday. One major change he pitched included scrapping a plan to keep the county’s property tax rate steady — which will yield increased revenue — and instead lower the rate and cut spending.
“The easiest solution … is if you have the same amount of revenue as you did last year, you adopt the same budget you did last year,” Shreve said.
Kirby and Billy are fine sitting on the couch thank you very much!
So not only are they refusing the County Executive’s invitation to come discuss the budget, which really is a dereliction of their duty, but Billy is all fine and dandy with keeping everything the same. Why should we strive to improve? A real brain stumper!
Next on our wrap up is Sheriff Jenkins. As we are sure you all know our Sheriff testified in front of Congress this week about illegal immigration. Last night, Sean Hannity had the Sheriff and two other guests on for four minutes of the most exquisite fear mongering we have ever seen.
Is that comment for reals?
Look, we here at the Yokel do not want anyone, be it citizens, immigrants, or illegal immigrants, committing crimes. And if someone had hurt our kids, we cannot say that we wouldn’t feel the same way that poor woman who testified with the Sheriff does. However, this kind of sensational talk does nothing to bring about meaningful immigration change. What it does do is incite fear and discrimination against the Latino community. Not one of us wants criminals running around our community. Building a wall is not a realistic solution towards that goal. Also, it is a known truth that huge numbers of “illegals” arrive by plane and overstay an expired, once-valid visa, so wasteful government spending on a stupid wall is stupid and wasteful. But now we totally get why Fox News watchers are so angry and paranoid all the time. Jeeze O’Flip that channel! And we also didn’t realize how scary a place Frederick is to live, the internets must be wrong about us.
Who exactly is the beast in this scenario, Gaston?
Last on our roundup: You may have heard that a certain Presidential Contender was in town yesterday. Another nugget from the Political Notes section was this:
Apparently, that relationship stuck. Ahead of Cruz’s rally on Thursday, Hough picked Afzali to pick up the candidate from the airport. And if Cruz’s camp was impressed with Folden’s driving skills, they may have had a different review of the Afzali Cab Service. “My husband went slow, because I needed to talk to Ted,” Afzali said. “We had a lot to talk about.”
If Cruz wasn’t so terrible we might have felt sorry for him. But since he is, we laughed and laughed.
If you missed our tweets about his speech head on over to @fclocalyokel and take a looky look. The most disturbing story to come out of that mess was the transgender student who was thrown out of rally. You can read the story here. But James, we would be remiss if we did not officially give you a Yokel tip of the hat:
Thank you for having the courage to stand up for what you believe in. Always be proud of who you are!
We really don’t get all this fervor over public bathrooms. Whether you like it or not transgender people have been using public bathrooms for years. And has society crumbled as a result? No! Because nothing bad has happened! You really should be more afraid of former Republican Speakers of the Houseand U.S. Senators. But if you can’t get past it, Kirby has a solution:
frederick local yokel 