Author: fclocalyokel

The worst public commenter in the history of forever. The end.

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The bulk of last night’s meeting is unfortunately going to get lost in one lady’s theatrics. Theatrics that we are oh so sure were orchestrated by Shrelauter. The only consolation being that one was the total number of people who answered their call to beat up on Bud. Click here to watch this hot mess for yourself!

So this angry lady, who has been before the council in the past to yell at Bud for not being the kind of Republican she thought he should be, is VERY, VERY ANGRY! Her litany of complaints against Bud include the very serious charges of:

  • Picnicking with Bernie Sanders supporters.
  • Not cutting taxes to her satisfaction
  • Not aligning himself with Shrelauter and thereby becoming a lap dog of a woman who (and this is the lady pedaling these rumors) has affairs at La Paz.

She calls Bud a scoundrel. We can’t help but wonder if Billy is going to start yelling civility code, but then we remember that is very situational for him. She concludes her tirade with some gifts for Bud!

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A potted plant because Bud just sits there and a yellow tie for cowardice! Really, lady, if you are going to use props at least TRY to be witty. This is just really poorly done! It was not totally lost on us that she seems a lot like a woman scorned. Is this a situation of unrequited love? We love to speculate about our characters…

 

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Oprah knows how to give things away!!

Thankfully she was followed by local hero and Rational Republican Matt Seubert, who called her comments exactly what they were: LOW CLASS!

Billy decides to vote against the agenda and abstain on the budget adjustments, again.

There are two nice presentations from the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments and Livable Frederick.

There is some discussion regarding changing county council rules and things get a little dicey. Billy and Kirby are all confused as to why the council can’t have good, productive discussions and we have to try really hard not to throw our computers out the window. It’s truly amazing the lack of insight some people have.

The two bills pass and then we are back to public comment. And sigh:

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You can’t see it but she’s holding up her cell phone!

The VERY mad lady is back. In the true high drama fashion that she seems to enjoy, with a recording of Bud…which she plays into the microphone. Bud tries to object, since the comments aren’t hers but a voice recording of him, to which Billy yells 1st amendment! This lady is truly obsessed with Bud and how he allegedly wronged her in every way imaginable. We would encourage you dear readers, to email Mr. Otis at botis@FrederickCountyMD.gov, so when she and her ilk PIA all his email they can see your praise!

We roll on into Council Member Comments, which is again divided into Haters v. Boosters (and this seems to be more the difference in the frequent 4-3 split than partisanship, if you notice the tone of the comments section). Kirby gripes awhile in an effort to criticize Bud, and also because Matt Seubert said he was not a fiscal conservative. Ironically part of this griping includes a claim that tax dollars are rolling in but they don’t even spend them. He fixated on a bridge that he supposes they aren’t having to pay maintenance on right now. It’s a weird kind of logic. Plus, later Jessica Fitzwater clarifies that the TIF rolls future taxes over to the developer for community improvement projects, and so Kirby is not a common tax and tax and tax and don’t spend conservative? Also he tells us that he didn’t vote for charter government, which is weird because we don’t remember any public criticism of it until he had to live with its effects.

Jerry likes ice cream. (But seriously, the creamery sounds cool) Jerry also likes Middletown, and talks about positive stuff in the community.

Billy (and his old BOCC) takes credit for the creamery. Also Billy wants to complain about Bud and leadership and point fingers. Also Billy did not favor charter government. Who knew????!!! Seriously, if you all knew all this and nobody ever told us, we are gonna be upset. Why was this a secret? huh? Billy speculates that Jessica called the ACLU on the sheriff, to which he is refuted.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer declines to discuss the hooey, but does acknowledge the elephant in the room. She also talks about a bunch of cool stuff happening in the community. If you have summer guests arriving, look into the Whiskey Tasting and the Jazz Festival.

Bud says nice stuff and is nice again and doesn’t even get mad at the haters. He simply notes, “You can tell that the election campaign is heating up, and that’s fine,” since everyone is going to have their opportunity to tell the truth.

Is Matt Seubert going to run for something? We like the cut of his jib.

Well, ain’t that rich?!

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In the very real possibility that you may have decided to lay in a pool of mud after seeing our Narcissist-In-Chief’s Praise-a-thon first cabinet meeting, let’s get you up to speed to what our very own AG Brian Frosh did yesterday!

According to the Washington Post, AG Frosh joined with the District of Columbia to sue President Trump for accepting money from foreign investors. While he was president!! Something that is a big no-no! You see the Constitution  has this pesky thing called the Emoluments Clause that pretty much prevents that:

No title of nobility shall be granted by the United States: and no person holding any office of profit or trust under them, shall, without the consent of the Congress, accept of any present, emolument, office, or title, of any kind whatever, from any king, prince, or foreign state.

This morning, the FNP ran a story in which Danielle Gaines asked some local politicians what they thought of this lawsuit. Take a peek because it is chock full of so much goodness, however, we are going to focus on what No-Holes-Barred Delegate (and rumored CE candidate) Kathy Afzali had to say.

Afzali said Democrats’ questions about Trump’s business dealings are the result of their own lack of experience in owning and operating businesses. “We look at private-sector work as a positive,” she said of fellow Republican party members.

 

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“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”
― Mark Twain
There you have it people!!! All these questions about Trump is due to y’all’s ignorance of business!! Don’t you know how it works? You take money from well…wherever, even thought it may VIOLATE the U.S. Constitution and then abracadabra BUSINESS! All fixed, move along folks, nothing to see here anymore!

Guess what we think of your feelings, Cindy Rose.

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Failed BOE candidate Cindy Rose has scribed an irrational fury bomb about FCPS and tossed it on the world via The Sucky Octopus Feeler. We cannot ever recommend clicking that. And we thought she would crawl under a sea rock and go away (just kidding, unfortunately–we did not think that).

She is seething angry because FCPS needs to adopt a transgender policy for the school potties now that Pres-o-Dent Bull-in-China-Shop has reversed the mandate that icked some people out, and she seems to be insinuating that business interests and the like are probably behind this because it is always some business interest or social activist (irony alert: what does she think she is in this scenario? a diplomat?). Plus, this is silly. Lobbyists do not go directly to her archnemesis Dr. Alban when they want all their wildest dreams to come true. Sure, Pearson makes the megamoolah on tests and curriculum. They do that by getting widespread legislative changes enacted by elected officials, not going small taters to the superintendent. Having a policy for inclusivity is probably not where the big bucks are. Unless…is it the Joe the Plumber lobby????? Heinh????

In her twisted world, the fact that FCPS seeks to avoid discriminating against transgender students is somehow discriminating against her. This lady is so filled with loathing that she will find any excuse to pick a fight with the school system. All others who may have special needs and concerns be damned.

Sometimes we do agree with Cindy Rose, like when school testing seems stupid, wasteful, and inappropriate to student needs. And also now. We can just hold a mirror up!

Ms. Rose also is angry (is there another way for her to be?) because the school system will not let her sit in on their school culture training. Look, this is obviously perfectly understandable, if sensitive to explain. We all know a portion of the school culture seminar is, “What you do with whackalooney parents who will not stop sending you 70 bajillion PIA requests per day.” Letting her sit in there–even all quiet and not spitting and hopping around–like a fly on the wall would just be all kinds of awkward.

Ms. Rose says that Dr. Alban likened her PIA addiction to a person who calls 911 abusively, and if you will follow the links in that PIA request link you will see that it is a crying shame that Dr. Alban failed to note that on some occasions it is like that woman who called 911 from the drive-thru at McDonald’s because she was tired of waiting for her McNuggets.

2017 Summer Reading List

School will soon be back in session and your thoughts are surely turning to how to fill the rest of your free time while your kids are in their last summer camps and what am I going good to do with all these kids all the rest of our free time??? Never fear, your Yokels have some […]

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School is out and your thoughts are surely turning to how to fill your extra long summer break with mind enriching books, or trashy beach reads to keep you from crying about the state of our nation. Regardless, your Yokels have some summer reading suggestions.

This is our third,  yes third, summer list. We are so sorry to say that we are going to have to modify a suggestion that has appeared on our last 2 lists.

 

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We have begged Billy to read this for 2 years now. We give up. Please just read the Cliff Notes version. Or get the audiobook version.

 

New for this summer:

Hey, we have lots of folks around here who are trying this one!

 

 

 

Special thanks to Shrelauter for helping out on this one.

 

 

You know who this is for.

 

 

And we really hope we don’t need the next book, but it’s better to be prepared.

 

You can get this wherever you shop.

Don’t forget to check out our wonderful local bookstore the Curious Iguana to find all your summer reading needs.

Wanna see Kirby get his butt kicked by a girl?

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We know you do.

Here’s the premise.

And then a person with a feminine name asks a very good question which we will paraphrase as, “Can you specifically explain why you hold this position?”

Derp.

And the answer is: HELL NAW.

And furthermore:

Hurrrrrrr-durrrrrrr.

Straight-talk/Straight-answers flying out his bunghole. Did he actually think that was a clever thing to say? Dear Melting and Tumbling Icarus, what a disaster…

Word to the wise (wait who would that be addressing?). Some advice: Don’t start a conversation that you know nothing about and then prove it.

 

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The linguistic experts at the desk posit that Malissa means Bad Melissa. We love you Bad Melissa. #Heroine. Go On with Your Bad Self.

Return of the untucked craziness. Volume: Infinity.

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It ain’t good folks!

At the conclusion of the last BOE election we were all so happy to let Cindy Rose rest in our archives. Not forgetting about her, since we suspect she will try to make another run, but very happy indeed not to have to worry about her being on the board.

Of course we’ve seen her here and there on Facebook saying some things that we certainly do NOT agree with. But hey, everyone (including us) has the right to their opinion. And thank Zeus above she wasn’t in any position of power to do anything about her rants!

Then today came. Ignoring her was no longer an option.

On two separate appearances on WFMD, Ms. Rose called in to share her concerns about Board of Education policy 443.1.  This proposed policy simply makes official what FCPS has already been doing regarding transgender students for the past six years. It should be no mystery, that in this current political climate, the BOE would feel the need to set this policy in stone, should it?

According to the written article on WFMD’s website, Cindy was quoted as saying:

“It seeks to create a protected class of students with rights above and beyond the rights of regular boys and girls”.

Knowing that the written report of these conversations never gives you the full flavor, we went back and listened. And people, please devote the 14 minutes to listen to this, because not only do we suspect that you will be horrified by what Cindy has to say, but by Bob Miller’s two cents on the subject as well.

During this conversation Cindy not only informs us that transgender students will have rights above “regular boys and girls” (what is regular anyway?), but that all the progress we women have made since Title IX was passed will be lost. You see folks, Cindy ran track in school and if there was a transgender girl on her team, well hell, no more blue ribbons for her.  In fact her exact words were girls “will have to sit in the back of the bus”.  Just like African-Americans had to in the time of segregation!

She is also upset because the FCPS policy states that schools do not have to report to the student’s parents if they identify as transgender. Cindy thinks that this insinuates that all parents will beat their kids if they found out they were transgender. This she finds “unconscionable.”  Well, it would certainly be nice if every child felt they could safely tell their parents that they were gay, transgender or anything out of the norm for their family. However, the reality can be quite different for some. Her hyperbolic angry rant over this part of the policy is unbelievably naive.

Cindy ends her interview with Bob by stating that she will file a lawsuit against FCPS should this policy pass on the 14th. So along with her bazillion PIA requests, the school system will now have to waste money defending against a lawsuit that they will most certainly win. (Transgender students almost always win these kinds of lawsuits. Google it!) Keep your eyes open folks, we predict she will try to get a seat in 2018.

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We here at the Yokel look forward to the day when we don’t have to argue about this stuff anymore. While a considerable amount of progress has been made, it’s very frustrating that some are still trying to put up road blocks.  Cindy is calling for people to show up to the June 14th meeting to voice their opposition, so we need to have more people there in support. Click on this Facebook event for more info.

 

 

June 6th frazzled mommy recap

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We were all busy last night, because at this time of year all moms are required to be in seven places at once. The FNP has good information about the important stuff that happened last night (and if you can’t read that because you aren’t subscribing to the paper, read this). We will just round things out with the gossip column details.

Tony Chmelik ducked out because he has relatives in town in celebration of his son’s wedding. Congratulations to the Chemliks and best wishes to the young couple. Lucky of Councilman Chmelik to have a solid reason to bounce, because the archives say that meeting is six hours long…and so we are just gonna trust the real news this week.

#KirbyDelauter gave kudos to Billy for his wood recycling bill, which is very important grown up legislating that he is finally getting around to on behalf of his constituents.

Look who’s gotten their boobies!

He also talked about illegal dumping and how that happens when fees are too high, which is possibly true (or also because some fools are lazy). Riddle me this, dingdong. How would we pay for it without “too high” fees? Spoiler alert: the answer is TAXES. And you hate those, so…illegal dumping it is?

Jerry Donald said nice things about Middletown’s 250th anniversary and what is being done in recognition of that, and also working together with the town for economic development in downtown Brunswick. He explained that his earlier vote against the water and sewer decision was based upon the timing falling during what we will call the “lame duck” period. He then reiterated his support for the bill that would limit this type of decision making.

Billy Trumpeter Shreve had an argument against that. Something like the other folks who did the decidering were also elected representatives, but as an UberTrumpet he is consistently a hypocrite, and Gorsuch/Garland–months and months ahead of the lame duck stage and still we had to wait for our new moronic overlords–so la di da. And now we’re dancing. Then he attacked Bud and the functioning of the council and how nobody gets to speak anymore, which seems weird since they added those extra public comments segments. The ones that people don’t so much seem to be coming to–although we certainly do not object to the opportunity not to have to listen to them until 0 Dark Thirty before you get your three minutes. And we think that was at Billy’s behest, so don’t say we never have anything positive to say about him! The numerous aggrieved people he described were upset about water runoff, which coming from a hater of fees destined to mitigate water runoff issues also seems like it should be filed in the “none of Shrelauter’s concern” box. Trumpeter Syndrome strikes again.

Jessica Fitzwater had words of congratulations for graduates of all stripes: high school seniors and fire and rescue recruits alike. She also highlighted that the Frederick region was recently named 8th in a list of the top 10 most vibrant arts communities in America. She also remarked upon celebrating the giving spirit of Frederick County with the United Way last week. It’s interesting to note how differently these people speak about the communities they live in. The boosters versus the haters.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer talked about numerous cool things happening (booster!). Teddy Bear Picnic at Everedy Square and Shab Row, FCC Kids on Campus, Barnstomers Tour (tickets available at the Visitor’s Center on East St.), Alive at Five, and family movie nights on Caroll Creek. Worth a Google for details on any of those.

And finally Bud explained that Billy’s real problem is that he still doesn’t know that there is a County Executive and he is not an administrator any more but a legislator, and the whole system has changed. He was very polite and patient about it, which is simply amazing, since it is only the eleventybillionth time this has come up since the charter government was formed.

Fade to black.

 

 

 

The sky is going to crush us: Your June 6th county council drinking game.

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We are all going to have huge bumps on our heads soon!

 

After a very busy May, we are ready for the calmer meetings of summer. At least as calm as things can get around these here parts. Go ahead and grab your agenda, crank up your A/C and turn on your FCGTV connection! As always, remember this game is for giggles, we don’t want anyone to sizzle their liver!

14 budget adjustments on the docket!! That’s right 14! If Shrelauter should choose to pull one or two away (of course they won’t touch the ones from the Sheriff’s department), mix yourself up 14 ounces of a Moscow Mule.

Maryland Association of Counties is coming in for a nice update and then we are off to approving the budget for FCC. Last year, Billy and Kirby tried to convince the President of this fine institution that she should start outsourcing jobs in order to save some cash. She stood strong against the two nincompoops, as she is a smart lady and knows what kind of society we would be living in if everyone were to be outsourced to part-time pay with no benefits. If they decide to beat this dead horse for yet another year, shoot down a nice cool Horse’s Neck with a Kick.

Ten County Executive appointments and then we have two public hearings. One concerns St. John’s School and the other Water and Sewer amendments. Kirby usually has a word or two about water and sewer (stop chuckling people!) and we expect nothing less since he’s on a mission to grandstand in order to further his bid for County Executive. When he has “more of a comment, then a question”, shoot down a row of Bull Shits.

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Probably not Bonkers! But it does have his name on it.

In the section with the three First Readings, we see something very curious. There is a bill with Billy’s name on it!!! Can y’all believe it? What’s it about? Well, here’s the let down. He wants to change the law so that one business out in New Market can make mulch on a piece of property that they were told to stop doing that on. So yeah, wide reaching legislation for the benefit of one business, but we have to take what we can get! So Champipples all around!

There’s a break until 7:00 and then two public hearings on Zoning Map Amendments and Moderately Priced Dwelling Units.  Council Member comments will probably be a scene, so we’ll suggest you grab some Gatorade to get those electrolytes back in order!

Billy laughs at violence; abhors free press–the sequel!

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Why do our conservative council members have such an issue with The First Amendment? Probably no one needs this recap, but #KirbyDelauter is a minor celebrity for threatening to sue a reporter for using his name–as a public figure–in the newspaper without permission. Not to be outdone, his co-moron will not shut up on his Twitter. Much like the leader of their cult of crass stupidity. Et, voila…

GAH! These people are horrid.

We have noted ourselves that they act like they are in high school and everything is a game of dominance. It’s like those who peaked in high school (if at all) keep trying to turn Frederick County into their high school drama. Josh Barro of Business Insider tackles this subject quite well.

[their]..ideal of masculinity that might be imagined by a socially maladjusted 15-year-old and tolerating in our political leaders the sort of behavior that a guidance counselor would never accept.

 

Drawing it out with an apt analogy about BIG CAVEMAN STEAL UR LUNCH MONEY (a nod to Laura Ingraham’s dismissive Tweet on the subject) so long as you aren’t the Sad! Loser! whose money was taken. These people, Billy, Trump, Laura Ingraham, anyone who thinks like this: they are what’s wrong with America. Get your act together and grow up. All of you.