Scientology is not going to bully our county council!!!

At the April 19th meeting the county council is going to present their findings in response to yet another lawsuit brought forth by Social Betterment Properties (AKA Scientology, Narconon, Xenu’s leftovers). Read the whole resolution here if you please, or just  read through our highlights:

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First off, many structures on the property are not that old. (That’s right young’un’s the 1960’s was not that  long ago.)

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Anecdotal information does not meet the standard of proving whether or not something is historic. You will have to do better than that!

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The structures on  this property are neither unique nor rare.

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The criteria was not met and this decision was NOT based on religious discrimination of any individual, group or person. (Tangent-What’s the difference between an individual and a person?)

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Billy is still the only hold out.  But to the rest of our council members: We here at the Yokel salute you! Thank you for sticking to your guns and  not allowing litigation to bully you into changing your minds.

La la loopsy Xenu’s lawyer made an oopsie!

Loyal readers are aware that Xenu’s lawyer’s have filed a lawsuit against the entire county. That’s right folks the whole county!

Prepare to pay up!
Prepare to pay up!

Well, it appears that maybe a mistake was made because on the 25th they filed another suit and made sure that this time they spelled out The Frederick County Council.

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So who exactly is doing Xenu’s lawyering?


Xenu part deux: Narconon clusternut at Trout Run

What the heck is even going on? A judge has remanded another frustrating thing back to the Frederick County Council, saying that they did not explain the reason for their vote that kept Trout Run from receiving a historic designation. (Umm…they said it wasn’t a special piece of local history?) Nobody apparently told Judge William R. Nicklas, Jr. about the shall versus may voodoo. Maybe the people who have since trotted that line out with regard to other issues should use the argument more conservatively.

If only it were this easy to erase, start over, forget these cretins.

What all this means is…Well, we don’t know for sure.

The Underground Bunker has expressed the matter concisely.

Judge William R. Nicklas Jr held a hearing earlier this month, and then this week came out with a ruling that seems to have confused nearly everyone. Researcher Mary McConnell declared that it was good for the county council, the local NBC station announced that it was a clear win for Scientology, and even more expert local observers don’t really explain whether this is good for one side or the other.

But maybe we will get Billy Shreve on Kojo Nnamdi’s show again, feverishly defending the need to have these exploitative, abusive whackadoodles run a campground for drug addicts to spend all day reading Dianetics and dehydrating in a sauna up in the northern reaches of Frederick County. What in the great and bizarre-o Milky Way Galaxy is driving his advocacy of this deadly nonsense?

The “What Would L. Ron Hubbard’s Aliens Do?” update

As reported by the Frederick News Post yesterday, the owner of Trout Run (which is to say by the transitive property of mathematics, where a = owner = b = The Social Betterment Society = c = The Church of Scientology) is asking that a judge reverse the denial of the historic designation that would allow the property to become an abusive drug spa marketed as a treatment center. If that is too confusing, please see some other resources on the matter. We are entirely bored with these mother-shippers. Who would have thought that with e-meters and the reactive mind and Dianetics this schtick could get old?


Just remembered–still not bored by the Scientology Christmas Catalog, which you should definitely see. Just remember, browse only: do not buy!

Someday one of us will share the story of that time we visited the L. Ron Hubbard Life Center in Los Angeles, just to get our jollies.

Last week’s poll results and this week’s happy fun time!

Wow! Thank you very much looking forward to seeing y'all out in the field.
Wow! Thank you very much looking forward to seeing y’all out in the field.
Ha ha!  But seriously, who voted for Blaine?!
Ha ha! But seriously, who voted for Blaine?!

So for this week we want to imagine that you are going to attend a lecture series. Which one of the following would you like to attend for the purpose of heckling?

Have you seen Gumption the Dragon?

It’s hard to find the words to attack a costumed children’s character. Not really. We’ve been doing that since the first viewing of Barney, obviously. We thought Xenu and the Thetans and and e-meters were weird, but a local resident who penned this LTE in defense of Narconon has a special angle to delight and/or terrify our children, who really sometimes like to meet people in goofy costumes even less than grownups do. And that is Gumption the Dragon. Check out No Narconon at Trout Run’s links and information, including Gumption’s movie. Gumption has (allegedly) made several public appearances in Frederick and Washington Counties. Imagine the unfortunate soul hiking the Appalachian Trail alone for weeks when he stumbled across Gumption the Dragon interrupting his solitude.


The end of the video has a text slide announcing: Gumption the Dragon Shares Secrets of Power. It was mostly a cheesy, low-rent, kid’s birthday party kind of thing, until the end when it went full kool-aid.

Let’s talk about realistic drug solutions…not fairy tales.

We here at the Local Yokel have previously written our concerns regarding the Trout Run property being transformed into a drug treatment center by the deranged followers of Lafayette Ronald Hubbard. Our friends over at “No Narconon at Trout Run” on Facebook supply a wealth of information about the dangers of Narconon and what Frederick County will inevitably be in for if they are allowed to set up shop here. However, unlike some of our county council members, we don’t want to just say no, no, no without talking about some real solutions.

So being a thinking sort of people, we would like to discuss the positive efforts that have been put forth to combat the very real drug problem that we have here in Frederick County. In yesterday’s Frederick News Post we were delighted to learn of a partnership between the Frederick Police  and the Frederick County Health Department. In a pilot program scheduled to begin June 1st, the two departments will work together to pair a recovery coach with an addict. Most of these recovery coaches have overcome a similar addiction and will be made available to help an addict regain control of their lives. We enthusiastically applaud any and all efforts by our governmental agencies when working together to make our community a better place to live.

We would also like to see recovery and treatment programs based on scientifically proven methods open their doors in our fair county. The work of Dr. Lance Dodes is a great place to start. The treatment of drug addiction is as individual as the addict. We need to have a wide variety of PROVEN treatments available to our neighbors who suffer from addiction, not ones that are preying on our most vulnerable citizens in an effort to make them a part of their alien fairy tale.

In closing, we would like to make our readers aware of the Town Hall Meeting scheduled to take place on Thursday, May 28th at 6:00:

It's curious that we don't see Narconon or Scientology anywhere on this list.
It’s curious that we don’t see Narconon or Scientology anywhere on this list.

Yes, let’s talk about solutions. Real ones.

Welcoming Xenu to Frederick County?


According to the editorial board of the Frederick News Post, we are likely to see the historical designation needed for The Church of Scientology to run a drug rehab and/or group home pass. Shuffling uncomfortably while staring at our feet isn’t going to cut it. The editorial is meant to help us swallow the inevitable from Narconon. No methadone or antidepressants from Scientologists, just bitter pills to swallow. In order to avoid entangling the county in a lawsuit, council members will need to take the first step toward accepting a treatment program that seemingly has no steps. Despite Narconon‘s track record for scams and untimely deaths, they enjoy status as a protected religion under Scientology, and Scientology specializes in exploiting its tax status and religious freedoms in a manner quite similar to the notoriously heinous Westboro “God Hates Fags” Baptist Church.

A word of appreciation is due to Jerry Donald for his efforts to find whatever may be there to satisfy his constituents. Everyone from the Scientologists to the Honeybee Lobby is hunting for the thing that will achieve the end each sees fit, before this matter is put to a vote.

Something desperately needs to change, but it seems probable that denying the historical designation isn’t going to fly. The next steps the community can take will be to ensure that the State knows that Frederick County is watching (a No Narconon at Trout Run Facebook group is a wealth of information). Perhaps state licensing and group home designations may not be compatible with their intended facility. If regulations cannot prevent the facility from opening, regulations for operation must be vigilantly enforced.

Who loves government regulations? This guy, that’s who. Listen up, Xenu. We’ve got our eyes on you.