Who’s in need of some remedial Constitution history today?

Top of the morning to ya, Yokels! We are all so hopeful that we will only have to bring this nonsense to you for one more month, since we are super optimistic that the two we are about to discuss will lose their primaries and slink out of the public eye forever. Until that time we must point out how unqualified they are to hold public office in our fine county.

Let us begin with three-time school board contender Cindy Rose. If you go back a couple of years and look at the PIA dump someone published from the last election, you will see that she often laments that the school system doesn’t celebrate Constitution Day. In this post she equates the unfairness of celebrating Earth Day, but not the Constitution, while adding in an interesting twist:

Screen Shot 2018-05-05 at 8.57.38 AMUMMM, their Creator?!?! Does she think the U.S. Constitution was written by the Almighty himself? Sounds like someone could have used Constitution Day herself!! So, we are supposed to erroneously teach our students that “their Creator” bequeathed the Constitution to the American people, but celebrating Mother Earth is some kind of liberal social/environmental justice that needs to end? Was the Lord/Zeus/Allah partial to bicameral legislatures, checks and balances, the 3/5th’s clause? Who knew?!

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Not one of them, including God!

Is this the kind of thinking we want on our school board?

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We’re all going to die if the school system doesn’t teach the Constitution was written by the Almighty!

Yesterday we shared the story the FNP wrote on Kirby’s gun raffle on our Facebook page. He broke the record for using the term “2nd amendment” in a sentence! Then, his campaign manager took to Facebook to lament that anyone had the nerve to ask him about this gun raffle to begin with!

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How dare Kirby be asked his personal opinion! What’s wrong with all you liberal reporters expecting Kirby to explain something he’s actually doing? Oh, and love the old NRA car analogy. What’s the purpose of a car again? What’s the purpose of a gun? How are they the same?

Don’t forget to vote in the primary June 26th! #localelectionsmatter!

Everyone has had it with Billy! And Kirby is confusing everyone out in Middletown. Your May Day first half of the meeting report!

Due to the craziness of the evening, your Lady Yokels joined the meeting seven minutes late. There was a nice gentlemen from Middletown giving some public comment. Apparently, Kirby contacted the Middletown city manager and constructed some budget amendment that has everyone believing that he wants to cut funding from the new library. After three years of sitting through Kirby’s amendments we are very sympathetic to anyone who has to try and parse them out.

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#TRUTH

After M.C. suggests that Kirby go back and look at his 39th amendment (and my God people are we going to have to sit through HOURS of his amendments again!!!), which he does. He then insists that this amendment only applies to 2019. And look people he’s just trying to look out for the taxpayer!

Billy abstains from both the budget adjustment and the minutes. Good thing we saved your liver from that nonsense this week. 

There is a First Reading on the Frederick County Sustainability Commission that you can read about here.

Then we have three Third Readings to get through. First off is Billy’s bill concerning the Senior/Retired Military tax credit. You know, the one that Tony had to practically re-write for him. Well, Jerry, M.C., and Jessica want an income cap added to this bill. Because not every retired military person is in need of a tax break! Added to that is the fact that every other tax credit has an income cap, but for some reason this one sailed through without one. Probably because there were so many other problems with it! Anyhoo, Billy predictably says that Jerry doesn’t like veterans and old people. To which Jerry replies, “I knew you were going to say something like that!”

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And not in a good way Billy!

Jerry wants the cap to be $80,000, but the bill passes with Bud being the deciding vote, 4-3.

Next up is Tony’s off-track gambling bill. Tony thinks allowing this will help tourism and that horse gambling is different from different kinds of gambling. M.C. is the only one who disagrees and this bill passes 6-1.

The last third reader is the Veteran’s Advisory Council bill and that passes with little fanfare, 7-0.

Now, there are three public hearings. We kind of space out on some of these issues, so you can go ahead and look at these slides regarding the FY 2018 Installment Purchase Application Farm/Land Preservation Program:

 

The top ten applications were approved 7-0.

Next we have a public hearing on the City of Frederick Enterprise Zone on the Golden Mile. The city is the main entity affected by this, but the county plays a part and must also vote for it. The Golden Mile qualifies for this tax program because of the poverty and vacant buildings in that area Anyone who lives here wants to see that strip do well again. Especially since they are going to lose Toys R Us soon. Well, there’s lots of questions from the peanut gallery, but nothing too bad or out of the ordinary. Until Billy…. He ‘finds it interesting” that those who voted against his tax credit bill are for giving ‘Wall Street corporations” tax welfare. But get this people, Billy is also for this credit. Jerry points out that these bills are “different animals altogether” and Jessica points out these are small businesses not Wall Street corporations. Billy tries again to make his point to which Jessica snaps and tells him to keep on with his talking points, maybe one day it will work out for ya!

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Passes 7-0.

The last hearing, before the break, concerns a Petition to Alter County Roads in the Frederick City Watershed. The City of Frederick is trying to alter roads and put up gates in an effort to stop all the illegal dumping that goes on back there. We couldn’t watch the rest of this, so we’ll have to check back on it tomorrow.

Meeting reconvenes at 7:00 for a bunch of public hearings. We predict a big crowd in the house tonight!

What’s that you say #HATESLATE? Kirby’s raffling off MAGA guns? And Tony didn’t pay his taxes?

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This is going to be all of us soon!

Oh gentle readers, do we have a bunch to catch y’all up on! We are very sorry to tell you that the #HATESLATE, which continues to insist that they are not a slate, has slated together to form a new Facebook page! Take a look at this diverse artwork they chose for their cover photo:

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And the slogan!!! Lord, you can’t make this stuff up!

Next, let’s look at the first post on this newly formed page:

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Uhhh, the first thing we have to say is that pointing out that you are fear-mongering is not a personal attack. It is a fact that everyone needs to know about. Secondly, what is the message exactly? We hear lots of complaints and Chicken Little proclamations, but not one solid proposal on how to fix all that they say is wrong with the school system. Unless, of course, this meme that Seth posted is actually under consideration:

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Thirdly, there have been PLENTY of people in the community, ourselves included, who have specifically pointed out (USING ACTUAL FACTS) how wrong the #HATESLATE is!

If you missed our two most recent posts about their claims, go ahead and read them here and here. Also, new blogger “The Rank Stranger” took the time to go through their claims and made two excellent posts (WITH DATA), here and here.

Current BOE President Brad Young, who according to Seth is not even on the board, has been fighting their misinformation like a champ this week!

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It is amazing the low opinion the #HATESLATE has of the kids within our school system.

And, because you are running for the Board of EDUCATION, you should have a basic understanding of how the English language works! That is not an unreasonable expectation!  Therefore, we enlisted a teacher friend to show ya’ll your mistakes:

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Grammarly is an excellent resource folks!

Anyone in the mood for a pre-Mother’s Day fundraiser?

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Let’s get a close up of that MAGA themed Kel Tec shotgun, shall we?

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Do we have to point out all the negative connotations this decorating of the weapon entails? How are we to make America great again? By shooting everyone up? For freedom? We hope that Kirby realizes that his position as County Executive doesn’t entail writing gun legislation.

And last, but certainly not least, we have yet another county council man delinquent on his county taxes! How is this possible?! Mr. Frederick County First:

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Owes over $3000!!!!

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It’s almost May, so the countdown to June 26 is quickly approaching! Make good decisions for the future of both our school board and our county government. #Localelectionsmatter!

 

 

This is becoming tedious! Your weekly workshop wrap-up!

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It seems as though Billy’s only function is to cause strife on the council. You would think as a lame-duck council member he would just sit back and enjoy the rest of his ride. Or, at the very least, stay as quiet as a dormouse as to not give the likes of us more things to write about! But alas! Woe unto us all that we must continue down this path.

The first bill to be discussed is the nice cooperative Donald/Delauter bill concerning the Senior Tax Credit. For every amendment that Jerry put forth, Kirby seconded! Staff wants an effective date for next year, to which Billy says that bills already have an effective date (60 days if not noted in the legislation), everyone ignores him and adds the July 2019 date.  Goes back to a public hearing. Bud commends them both on their cooperation.

There’s much hoopla from both Tony and Billy over M.C.’s bill to make sure that future housing developments keep any amenities they offer within their borders. There was a development that built a pool outside the approved zoning area and wound up building on Ag land! Billy thinks it’s exclusionary. And Tony wants to know what would happen if an HOA wants to buy land outside of the community to build a pool. He also doesn’t understand why we are making legislation because this happened one time. COUGH, COUGH, WOODCHIPPING BILL?!

Next we are onto some changes to council rules. Read all about them here. Billy doesn’t write any of his down and keeps arguing about giving people a 20 minute limit to present at public hearings and wants to allow public comment to be allowed at workshops. Bud tells him that, just like everyone else, he needs to write his suggestions down! How many times has he been told to write his ideas down? Your Yokel Girls are thinking of starting a Sign-Up Genius to have y’all take turns at public comment to tell Billy what we all think of him.

Charter amendments are last. You can peruse them here. Tony lets his 120 day bill extension die after listening to Jessica and M.C.’s concerns. So miracles still happen. Some language is changed on the others. Kirby, who seems to have all kinds of problems with how things work around here, doesn’t put forth any amendments. And is, in fact, super quiet tonight. Perhaps he’s brooding over the lack of love in the comment sections on the two articles about him in the paper today. (Read the articles here and here.)

We’ll get back to the hearings soon!

Budget season is upon us; let us not fall into despair. Your 4/24 council drinking game.

This evening’s meeting will include various amendments to bills on the table, as well as public hearings on bills that were amended last week. Take it easy on your liver as budget season is upon us and we are going to need gallons of moonshine to get through the line by line budget adjustments Kirby’s gonna give us!

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We are 100% certain that Kirby is going to write an “alternative” budget again this year! Even though that is NOT his job as a legislator. Perhaps he should take the time to write his personal budget since it appears that one of his businesses owes beaucoup dollars to the government!

Since it is the last few months that Billy will be featured on the dais, perhaps we should savor his voting against the agenda, abstaining on the budget adjustments, and floundering back and forth on whether or not to vote for the minutes. On second thought, down a 6-pack of Raging Bitch if  when any of these things occur.

Amendments will be brought forth on two bills. The Senior tax credit amendments show that two polar opposites can come together in the name of good government. Sip daintily on your Family Drama to show that you appreciate the fact that we can have some time without tension in our Frederick County family.

Break until 7:00 (not a word Billy!), then we return for three public hearings.

The first hearing concerns Billy’s Elderly and Military tax credit which was so very badly written that the budget department had to make a special visit to the council to spell out the infinity changes that needed to be made. So, with no help from Billy, amendments were voted for and now the public has the chance to voice their opinion. So, when Billy takes credit for this bill in the future, drink a mind eraser in his honor.

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If you didn’t get a chance to read just how awful the editorial board of the FNP thinks Billy is, click away!

We end the meeting on Tony’s satellite betting and Bud’s veteran’s advisory council bills. Take a break because look at what is coming later this week:

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Budget season is always stressful!!! Be careful out there!

What’s Kirby going to blame on Jan this week?

We’ve been meaning to get to this story for a few days, so please forgive the tardiness. Earlier this week, Kirby posted about this story that appeared in the Frederick News Post:

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Borderline criminal? Let’s dig a little further into this story, shall we? What it comes down to is a disagreement between this landowner and CSX as to who owns a piece of land. This gentleman and the county have wildly different opinions as to who owns parcel. So, when did this disagreement really pick up steam? Here’s a screenshot from the FNP article:

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HMMMM.. who was in charge of the county government from 2009- Summer 2014? Is there any way to find this information out?

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Who’s that guy in the back row? Is that KIRBY?!?!

Wow, just wow! And, it’s just a tiny bit hard to feel as though the landowner is in the right here when he’s quoted as saying something like this:

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Holy moly, this county! Anyhoo, Kirby needs to accept some of the blame for this situation since it occurred when he was on the BOCC. Nowhere do we see where Jan has played a hand in this. Tis just another day of # being hyperbolic and not telling the whole truth!

It’s your April 10th drinking game!

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You too?

We are not even sure if anyone is able to stay sober right now. Therefore, if you are already drunk due to the national news, just carry on with your selected beverage of choice.  Grab your agenda and follow along.

There are no minutes to vote on tonight, so you can spare your liver right away because Billy won’t have the option to abstain.

First up are 3 bill updates. And oh dear, one has to do with ethics. Remember how Kirby gets triggered whenever the “E” word comes up? If you see #NeverKirbyforCountyExecutive get all twitchy, slam back a pitcher of Trigger!

The council then goes into closed session, a motion that Silly Billy will surely vote against. They return at 7:00 for a variety of public hearings.

First up is Billy’s very bad bill that Tony had to re-write so it made a modicum of sense. And speaking of Tony, we need to digress for a moment because people have you seen this?!:

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This is his campaign sign!!! So many thoughts…First of all, are we building a wall? Starting a trade war with Washington or Montgomery counties? When does Frederick County not come first in the Frederick County Council?! Zeus give us strength this election season. And, vote for Steve McKay in the primary if you are a Republican District 2 voter.

The next hearing is the wood chipping bill, and boy are we tired of hearing about this! Tony added some amendments last time, actually took some of the planning commission and county executive’s suggestions into consideration!  Still, why are we making legislation that benefits one business? If “anyone” talks about Jan shutting down all the businesses ( YOKEL FACT: This business was never shut down or even fined!) set up a row of Pink Faced Liar shots!

We next have to sit through two hearings on the same issue. Tis an election year and Kirby needs to grandstand over all his failed bills and budget writing attempts. We know who has the better bill, so sit back and set up your moonshine still, because man you’re gonna need it this year.

We round up the evening with M.C.’s bill about locating amenities within the boundaries of a particular community. If When Billy says something condescending (we know the nerve of that fella) take dainty sips of your Raspberry Stupid.

 

 

Let’s reverse the roles! The first half of the county council meeting proves Billy needs to retire.

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Let’s see here, Billy was on the BOCC for four years,  has been on the council for over three, and still cannot figure out what he’s doing up there! We really need to add an impeachment clause to the county charter. Seven years is way too long to let incompetence reign. Let’s get down to the nitty gritty of tonight’s meeting:

Billy votes FOR the agenda, which kinda goes against his whole philosophy of voting AGAINST it. Did he have a change of heart or just forgot? We’ll let you be the judge.

Dr. Alban is recognized for receiving the 2018 Tom Cookerly Exceptional School Superintendent Leadership Award. This award recognizes those who do a lot for the neediest kids in their school system. Even though poverty does tend to be concentrated at some FCPS schools, our county has a dedicated coordinator at every school to help families in need! Way to go FCPS and Dr. Alban!

Our favorite public commenter, Melanie Cox, is in the house to voice the League of Women Voters’ support of the Adequate Public Facilities bill which will have a public hearing on May 1st.

Billy is back in form abstaining on the budget adjustments and minutes, while everyone else says aye or yes, depending on their knowledge of Robert’s Rules.

All vote yes for the appointment of Kevin Fox to the Department of Fire Services.

Four bills have their third reading.

Bill 18-01, which will increase the mandated general fund, is passed 7-0. Jerry makes the comment that this bill will keep us on a strong financial path.

Then it’s time for the first of Billy’s two bills this evening. Billy first has to be prompted to make a motion on this bill because going through this at least a bazillion times hasn’t been enough for him to learn how things work. Jerry, Jessica, and M.C. all have concerns about this bill because it requires people to live in their residence for 40 years, only lasts for 5 years, and has no income requirement! M.C. makes the point that the existing bill is better.  Tony is okay if it only affects 30 people which prompts Billy to make the following declaration : “Any tax credit is a good one!” The bill goes along party lines, then it is Bud’s turn. After a loooong pause he votes Aye. So, Billy’s poorly written tax credit passes.

Next up is Billy’s second bill, which had to be re-written by Tony because it is sooo poorly wrongly worded. In Billy’s original bill the Fire Department is exempted from ANY and ALL FEES. When Jessica points this out and asks if this means water and sewer, landfill, etc. Billy so rudely says that she is the ONLY one who would interpret those words that way. Jessica then retorts that the fiscal note that they ALL received points out this fact! Clearly, she is not the only one. Jerry doesn’t like it because it gives the fire departments an unfair advantage in getting customers into their Fire Hall and he isn’t comfortable “picking the winners and losers!”  Isn’t that usually Billy and Kirby’s phrase?! Tony and Kirby both declare their love for the free market, Tony even admits that he may be a hypocrite here, but hey tis the way of the party lately. When our guy does it, it’s okay! Well, the language is the problem, because guess what? Billy only meant for this to apply to fees for new construction and renovations for the fire halls! WHO KNEW? Literally no one but Billy!

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As a legislator you better know how to write legislation!! And this guy wants us to send him to Annapolis?!

This portion of the evening features an amusing exchange between Billy and Jerry. Jerry is comparing different wedding venues and Billy demands to know the last time Jerry was in the market for a wedding venue. Billy tells Jerry that if he doesn’t know what he’s talking about he should just remain quiet. Jerry retorts with a “that’s never stopped you before!” Billy says that’s because he usually knows what he’s talking about. That elicits a laugh from both Jerry and your Lady Yokels!!!

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It is amazing the lack of introspection this guy possesses!!

Kirby jumps in to tell us he eloped, but likes the free market, but whatevs.  Billy lectures us about how all bills have unintended consequences and we will have to fix it in the future. He adds: It’s the way the world works! Thanks Billy, but we aren’t taking any philosophical advice from the likes of you!

Since an amendment was added, which Tony wrote, the bill goes back to public hearing.

Tony adds four amendments to his woodchipping bill, taking recommendations from the planning commission and the county executive. Therefore that has to go back to public hearing as well.

Three public hearings are up at 7:00 this evening. We’ll let you know how that all turns out when we get the chance!

 

My God, is Delauter going to make us defend Afzali?

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Thanks a lot #!

Your Lady Yokels have been distracted by a number of other local races lately, and #kirbydelauter and his race for our county’s highest office have unfortunately been on our back burner. Until today! On his county executive Facebook page he posted this:

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Well, you shouldn’t be a bit surprised that Kirby’s description of this bill is 100% inaccurate! 100%!  This bill was crafted to make sure that a violent protective order comes before a judge the SAME DAY it is filed and yes, gives a JUDGE (not any citizen!) the authority to temporarily remove guns from the home of a person who has exhibited behavior that makes the police and a judge believe that this person may use them!!!!! Here’s the summary of the bill:

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Because, unlike Kirby, we like our readers to be informed. You can read the bill in its entirety here.

The bill’s sponsor used the example of Candance Carnathan, who filed a protective order against her husband. Ms. Carnathan marked on her protective order form that her husband had a firearm, however, the gun was not removed and he shot both his wife and himself leaving their young children without a parent.  Would Kirby argue that Ms. Carnathan’s husband’s right to keep his gun was more important than the right of his wife to live?

Your Lady Yokels know people whose parents have suffered impairment as a result of age. This impairment caused a certain amount of paranoia that made the individual very dangerous with his guns. Is it Kirby’s position that this individual’s right to bear arms is more important than the right of his family to live?

It is all so curious that we hear all kinds of blame directed at the  government AFTER a shooting happens. There is all kinds of outrage that the government should have done more to make sure the shooter didn’t have access to a weapon. BUT, when the government tries to make sure a murder doesn’t happen, they are committing a “gross overreach.” It’s apparent that Kirby did not read one word of this bill and instead just went into some kind of crazy Pavlovian response when he heard the word: gun.

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Now that you are more educated, Kirby, we want to hear why you are against this bill. What are you afraid of? How is this a bad thing? How did you misinterpret this entire bill? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

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Sigh.

Take a seat readers, because you may not ever hear this again:

THANK YOU DELEGATE KATHY AFZALI FOR VOTING FOR THIS VERY RATIONAL AND NECESSARY BILL! WE MAY NOT BE YOUR BIGGEST FANS, HOWEVER, WE WILL GIVE KUDOS WHEN KUDOS ARE DUE!

Yesterday, we had another example of gun violence against what seems to be have been a former romantic partner in a high school in Southern Maryland. Thankfully, the school resource officer was there to stop the shooter before things had a chance to get any worse. What would have been better if the young man wasn’t able to get his hands on a gun in the first place! And while we may agree with Billy’s assessment of the officer:

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Kirby’s response to this post leaves a lot to be desired:

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#FACTSMATTER people! This man cannot be given the reins of our fine county!

Short and Sweet! The first half of your February 28th meeting was neat!

No Billy…again! Probably not the greatest idea for him to start skipping out on meetings when he’s trying to convince us all that he deserves higher office. But hey, who are we to complain about not having to put up with him?!

The only public commenter is Melanie Cox, speaking on behalf of the League of Women Voters. She’s here to promote the suffragist march that is happening this weekend. Bud remarks that he cannot imagine women not having the right to vote, and we cannot believe it took as long as it did!  Just a short 100 years ago postcards such like this were still making the rounds:

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How tragic that a father actually has to help out with the care of HIS very own child!

Since Billy is gone the agenda and minutes get passed with NO PROBLEMO!

Next is a vote on the compromised Forest Resource Ordinance bill. Jessica speaks to the beauty of compromise and then M.C. commends both Jessica and Tony for working together, even though she would have liked to see the one to one tree replacement. But, hey that’s what compromise is, not everyone gets what they want all the time. Kirby then chimes in that he has a different take. He starts talking about DRRAs and everyone is all WTH is going on here!? M.C. reminds him that we are talking about the Forest Ordinance bill and he quickly responds with a:

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Pay attention Mr. Wannabe County Executive!

Bud then pulls the bill on the DRRAs because of the concerns that the county attorney brought up last night! So,  that different take from Kirby will have to wait! At 7:00 everyone returns for the Land Grab Monocacy River Board hearing. We’ll let you know how that all plays out!