Top of the morning to ya, Yokels! We are all so hopeful that we will only have to bring this nonsense to you for one more month, since we are super optimistic that the two we are about to discuss will lose their primaries and slink out of the public eye forever. Until that time we must point out how unqualified they are to hold public office in our fine county.
Let us begin with three-time school board contender Cindy Rose. If you go back a couple of years and look at the PIA dump someone published from the last election, you will see that she often laments that the school system doesn’t celebrate Constitution Day. In this post she equates the unfairness of celebrating Earth Day, but not the Constitution, while adding in an interesting twist:
UMMM, their Creator?!?! Does she think the U.S. Constitution was written by the Almighty himself? Sounds like someone could have used Constitution Day herself!! So, we are supposed to erroneously teach our students that “their Creator” bequeathed the Constitution to the American people, but celebrating Mother Earth is some kind of liberal social/environmental justice that needs to end? Was the Lord/Zeus/Allah partial to bicameral legislatures, checks and balances, the 3/5th’s clause? Who knew?!
Is this the kind of thinking we want on our school board?
Yesterday we shared the story the FNP wrote on Kirby’s gun raffle on our Facebook page. He broke the record for using the term “2nd amendment” in a sentence! Then, his campaign manager took to Facebook to lament that anyone had the nerve to ask him about this gun raffle to begin with!
How dare Kirby be asked his personal opinion! What’s wrong with all you liberal reporters expecting Kirby to explain something he’s actually doing? Oh, and love the old NRA car analogy. What’s the purpose of a car again? What’s the purpose of a gun? How are they the same?
Don’t forget to vote in the primary June 26th! #localelectionsmatter!
frederick local yokel 
Cindy is intentionally confusing the Declaration of Independence (where she’s cribbing “endowed by their Creator”) with the constitution (which says no such thing) as a form of high performance art.
I.E. you, the viewer, immediately think “what a dolt, she’s trying to make a point about the constitution, but she’s referencing another document, so she’s wrong … hyperbolically wrong … and she wants to be wrong and in charge of educating my children?” until you realize that you are the dolt, because she is a herald, Who Spake Thusly:
“Hark! for the children of the dystopian future are mindless, potato-faced dummies like I, for whom the constitution is a secret text, whispered only about in dark corners and sub-basements. For there is no other mention of it in the 12 years of their education, for i can show you the only way true way to learn about it, and if you don’t support this … one day … they may be … as stupid … as I!”
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