Tag: #kirbydelauter

The mystery is solved!!!!

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Council member comments are now up and running as a part of the February 7th meeting. We’ve been speculating wildly as to what the hell Billy did to cause the county AV department to have to go into full editing mode. The mystery has been solved:

Billy claims that we have a rogue inspector roaming through the county randomly inspecting businesses! And this very naughty inspector is costing these businesses, which have been cited for violations, tens of thousands of dollars!!! Billy says that this individual, that he NAMES out LOUD, is “out of control!” He needs to be stopped! Billy is called out by both Bud and the county attorney for disparaging a county employee by name in a public forum, to which Billy screams, “Strike that from the record.” We know someone we would like to strike from our county government.

Billy is also very agitated that while he was out globe trotting, the council would not allow him to conference call in concerning the MTC. To him it is “sad that we have a government that operates this way.” One cannot help but wonder if this call was to take place while he was soaking up the rays with Blaine in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, Billy really hopes that there are some serious repercussions!

Kirby is also worth mentioning if for nothing else, his wild conspiracy theories.

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Everything is terrible!

First off, now Kirby’s not accusing anyone mind you, BUT if county employees are aware of the bargain basement price some of the county machines are being auctioned off at..well ya know they could grab them up and then sell them off for a pretty penny!! Let’s be clear though, he is NOT aware of  ANYONE doing such a thing. But hey, what if? It’s very interesting to him.

Next on the conspiracy ticker, Jan Gardner. Did you people know that for as little as $50 you could get yourself a seat on the Planning Commission?  Everything, and he means EVERYTHING is for sale around here! “Gotta pay to play”! Kirby then starts ticking off some donations that Jan received and guess what? We are looking Kirby’s up as well! If he wants to start the donation listing game we will be more than glad to participate! What set Kirby off on the donation trail? Well, Michael Hough’s last minute ethics bill. You know the one that was submitted on February 1st with a February 3rd turn around date? Not the ethics bill that was properly vetted by the public, just something Hough scratched down last minute. If you are asking how Kirby found out that Jan was so unethical, you need look no further than our frenemy Red Maryland. That’s right a blog just like our own!(Come on Kirby, where’s the love? Don’t we get a mention?) Too bad that we couldn’t see Billy’s face when Kirby brought them up because man oh man they don’t like the Shreve!

As usual, the other council members had positive things to report, along with the unenviable job of telling us why everything that came out of Shrelauter’s collective jaw is so very wrong indeed. And for that, we thank them!

 

Hey, did ya hear the news? Clean water is NOT a right!

fclocalyokel1 Comment

If you are in tuned to local issues, it’s very likely you’ve heard about the recommendations of the Monocacy Scenic River Advisory Citizen’s Board. If you are interested (and who isn’t interested in clean water am I right?) please peruse the report available  on the Frederick County website.

Since the river does not belong to any one person, and there is lots of science on the effects of riparian buffers on waterways, it is in our collective interest to protect this valuable resource. Clean water is a RIGHT. That’s right a RIGHT. For without it we cannot live. Perhaps you know that the human body is around 65% full of it! Wait..what’s that Council member #?”

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Kirby would you read the damn report!!!! The whole thing!  Not just that report but also the Lake Linganore Source Water Protection Plan! The river belongs to all of us and we need to discuss how to protect it! Farmers, citizens, government officials, and scientists (yes scientists!) need to come together and rationally discuss how to best do that. And guess what? Not everyone is going to get their way! Some sacrifices, in the way of planting trees around the river, are going to have to be made.

According to numerous reports, we are in danger of having either a scarcity of  clean water OR water that is too expensive for many to afford. IN THIS COUNTRY. Read about the scarcity report here and the report about how 1/3 of Americans will not be able to afford clean water soon here. Due to global climate change, hydraulic fracking, and lack of investment in water infrastructure we are on the cusp of having a major problem in this country. We need to protect our waterways. You don’t have the RIGHT to pollute a communal water way because you own the property next to it.

If property rights are so important,even more than the right to that life sustaining combonation of hydrogen and oxygen, then can Kirby please explain his support for a wall along the border? You know the one that Texans aren’t so keen on because of all the land that will have to be grabbed up ? Oh, wait, that’s different right? #alternative facts

 

 

 

Is there money in the budget for a tutor?

fclocalyokel1 Comment

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Perhaps candidates for office should be required to pass a simple competency test on how government works before they are allowed on the ballot. That certainly would have saved us from the horror called Shrelauter!
The entity known as Shrelauter frequently displays their ignorance of basic government functions. The election of Trump has not helped matters in our neck of the woods, as it has seemed to embolden the ignorance and pettiness of these two. While we thought #KirbyDelauter reached the apex of his ignorance with his tear-drop flow chart, it appears he’s still on his ascent up the Mountain O’Stupidity.

In yesterday’s Frederick News Post there was a story about the Monocacy River management plan. Now, without any evidence mind you, we are SURE that Kirby did not read this plan. He’s been lashing out at it from the start, and it’s only in the recommendation stage. You would think from his reaction the County Executive is “land grabbing” in order to build some waterfront mansions for herself and her cronies. But, nah it’s an effort to save the Monocacy from becoming a polluted mess. From what we’ve seen, it’s mostly an effort to plant more trees.

Well, Kirby, who was once an avid opponent of Executive Orders especially when they came from Obama or had anything to do with with ethics, is all of the sudden in favor of them. Check out this quote from yesterday’s story:

“Issue the Executive Order on Monday. I’ll be waiting for the announcement. If you choose not to issue it, it tells everyone you are behind this bogus plan to strip property rights, just as you have done for over 20 years,” Delauter wrote in an email to the county executive on Saturday.

Nice guy, isn’t he? There seems to be a pattern emerging among these folks. For the better part of four years Kirby and his ilk have  been bemoaning the tyranny of the E.O. Now, that their guy is in, or when it suits their purposes, well  you know it’s all different now.

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As you can imagine Jan had a reply to Kirby barking orders at her.  And man was it awesome:

“Kirby, Please stop misinforming people and do your homework,” Gardner wrote. “As I advised you previously, I do not have the authority to issue an executive order to stop the work of the River Board. The Monocacy River Scenic Advisory Board is created under state law. The Secretary of Natural Resources administers the program. Because this is a State program, I do not have any authority to stop or end the work of the River Board.”

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Things rarely do with #!
Can’t you just hear the exasperation in the County Executive’s words? We cannot imagine having to put up with this on a day-to-day basis. So this guy doesn’t understand that a county official cannot disband a state mandated board? Apparently, from her quote, she’s had to tell him that on more than one occasion!  Does he understand how any of this works? Don’t answer that. His suggestion to shut down the board is also eerily similar to the Federal social media blackout that we are seeing with those agencies most aligned with the sciences. Is that what Kirby thinks he’s going to do up here? Shut down the science when he doesn’t agree with it and/or doesn’t (can’t) comprehend it? Kirby, you need to stop these knee jerk reactions to everything and learn how to do your job. If that is not a thing you can do, please step aside so someone else can run in 2018.

Feast your eyes on the worst flow chart in the history of forever!

fclocalyokel18 Comments

For the last couple of weeks, we’ve been wondering where our old pal #KirbyDelauter’s been hiding out. Thankfully (?), he’s emerged! Last night he attended a meeting concerning the Monocacy River, and he is not going to be a grown up about it:

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Ain’t he cute folks? Instead of doing what an elected official is supposed to do, you know come into a situation with an open mind ready to listen to other opinions, etc. et al., we get that. Guess it’s all a part of that Brave New World we are living in. Wished that’s where it ended but naw…

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Matt Suebert: BAD! Suzan Thompson: GOOD! Don’t you just love this running commentary? Here is the piece de resistance:

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Anonymous Lady stop sciencing all over Kirby!!! You’re making him feel like a crackhead!  Kirby was super, super busy today:

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If your head hurts after reading all that you are NOT alone. Well this little post was the lead in to what has got to be the most GOD AWFUL flowchart in the history of humanity:

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Is that a teardrop? Because it is #SAD! Why does Jessica end up with all the money? Poor Jerry gets screwed, but he still has to donate to Jessica. M.C. and Jan are exchanging money so we guess it evens out. Jan is giving Carole’s money to Jessica. Bob and Jan are exchanging money and you guessed it…giving it to Jessica. And Jessica just takes, takes, takes!  We here at the Yokel had the tears of laughter flowing trying to discern this. Maybe this is the best way to express it:

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Welcome back #! You’ve certainly made up for time lost!

You want to make Frederick County a better place? Tsk! Tsk! Kirby’s got a Facebook post for you!

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Earlier this week we brought you some coverage of the council’s workshop over some animal welfare provisions. For whatever reason, Kirby was not able to attend. But that did NOT deter him from Facebooking about it:

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What a professional!

Believe us when we say that county issues aren’t always sexy! We’ve zzzzz through lots of discussion of sewers, zoning and council member comments. However, these discussions are necessary to a functional government. People don’t want to get bit, people don’t want their dogs to get bit, and we want to make sure that our cats and dogs are healthy and taken care of. But go ahead, Council member Delauter, mock someone for doing their job! That is just awesome!

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As for you Council member Donald, we’re sure you are all too used to this by now. For that we could not be sorrier. If you are ever feeling downtrodden and think you can’t take it anymore just remember:

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WORD!

Happy? New Year.

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Last night’s meeting was uneventfulish.

Bud hopes it will be a productive year. We feel pessimistic. Because of the bookends on the dias (who were oddly quiet, until uncorked at the end).

Normal things happened like Billy voted against the agenda and budget transfers. Aren’t tools supposed to be useful?

Friend of Local Yokel, Patrick Schempp, spoke on several issues and seems to be far more consequential to the proper running of the county than Billy Shreve. Just sayin’.

There was a riveting water and sewer hearing and W4S4 changing to W3S3, or some such.

A proposed small business development real estate tax credit sounded intriguing. This would be for businesses with between 5 and 50 employees on purchase of or expansion of at least 2500 square feet. The tax credit would start at 40% and decrease according to a schedule over time. And they would have to pay 150% of federal minimum wage to their employees, which sounds nice, but still wouldn’t really get you much in the way of livability in urbane Fredneck. However, we are not those sort of philosophers who think, “If you cannot fix everything, why bother doing anything.” (cough…climate change illogic…cough). The program would expire in 2026, although Tony Chmelik seemed inclined to have it continue in perpetuity, because who needs taxes anyway, right?

For the second edition of public commenting a young man (we love to see our youngsters at county meetings) wants to have recycling bins available at summer lunch program centers. Tony suggests they go to another meeting, in a strange attempt to pass the buck. Thankfully  M.C. steps in taking their names and promising to put them in touch with the appropriate person. Thank you M.C.!

Kirby talked for half the meeting it seemed like and to start there was a part where he seemed gracious and as though he spoke with staff he may have a good rapport with, and then spoke knowledgeably about septic system science. In the light of day it seems less mysterious that a person owning and operating a digging business hemmed and hawed about septic tanks and doesn’t just stomp his foot about <<gasp>> regulations. Not to say he made no sense, but still. It’s difficult for us to say he made sense, if you know what we mean.

Oh and who could forget the spin machine we were stuck in that has this story in the newspaper, produced by a newspaper reporter, who reported on the relative salaries of county officials here and elsewhere. This has now become some new government boondoggle talking point, even though it has zilch to do with anyone in the government having said or done anything, and was apparently produced for informational purposes such as local news. It never has to make sense to become a crisis. Special teaflakes strike again.

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Kirby has thankfully found an editorial section that is not biased! And he’s going to take up everyone’s time reading this editor’s accusations.  Kirby is “not sure what’s going on here” and “hope(s) these accusations are unfounded”. However, he’s not going to let whether or not any of this is true stand in his way! No siree bob! What’s all the hullabaloo? Well, remember when M.C. said that she and Bud talked to the County Executive before legislation is introduced? Yeah that.  Must be some sneakiness going on. Thank goodness we have some local heroes with no agenda against Jan, Bud or M.C. on it! We took a peaky poo at the Open Meetings Act and didn’t see anything that would warrant these allegations. However, tis very long and written in legalese so we will have to see what the attorney says. Sounds like the County Council has a few time sucking, tax wasting PIAers on their hands as well.

 

There was more, but I give up, which is awful, because some smart people got shortchanged. If Billy said anything exciting, nobody even knows. You will have to wait for another Local Yokel to let you know.

Oh, but wait! Almost forgot! Jerry Donald likes meeting constituents and is going on a tour, like the rock star that he is.

Can we please stop pretending government serves no purpose? Thanks.
An oldie, but a goodie.

M.C. apologizes for not answering Kirby’s hero editor and promises to do so. Also vows to continue talking to people in the county government in  order to do her job. The county attorney will be issuing an opinion soon on whether or not anything was untoward. We can already predict the answer.

Let’s bring back the Black List!! What could go wrong?

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In today’s edition of “Guess who wasn’t paying attention in History class” we have this little nugget:

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That’s right folks pass it along!!! According to some criteria that “someone” gets to determine, college professors will be added to a “watchlist”. OOOHHH Scary!!! We love how the American Association of College Professors have reacted to it, because really McCarthy lovers screw you:

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We wish that was all we had to bring you but there is a comment on Kirby’s post that needs attention:

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That’s right!!! ALL Liberal Scum Teachers need to be placed on the list!!! Oh we would love to see the criteria to be placed upon said list! And where’s the watch list for Right Wing Propaganda Professors? Tis only fair!

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So much easier!

It’s at this point that we really must congratulate the voters of Frederick County for keeping this one off the school board! Can you imagine if she had any kind of real power to do such a thing? Jeeze o’flip people!!!

For those of you who praise Putin, want to replace investigative journalism with Twitter and think it’s all find and dandy to black list people, we have this for you:

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Think  before you post people!!

 

Call to Action: respond to First Amendment nemesis #KirbyDelauter

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Hey, so we already had words for y’all about local press and freedom of press and what Kirby thinks and how he and his pal Trumpet can stick their Twitter fetish where the sun don’t shine. Please indulge any liberties with the paraphrase. We grow monumentally impatient with these super special teaflakes.

If you didn’t catch it, Sam Bee’s latest Full Frontal (the one with Glenn Beck!!!!) has some harsh to dish out on people who can’t be bothered to notice a local issue because it doesn’t scroll under their nose with their social media headlines (a mission we’ve been endeavoring to remedy). And truly we do recommend that you check out Kirby’s social media. What on Uhhhhrth would we do without that?

And we have called upon you to pay attention to the legitimate media. We believe in being localvores–especially with regard to media consumption. They can’t be the best they can be if you expect them to do their jobs for free. This is our hobby, yo. And as such, we don’t have to do it if we don’t wanna, and we are certainly prepared to say we are not sitting around dreaming up ways to view Shrelauter’s behavior in a kinder light. They are idiotic, petulant children. That’s our story. We’re sticking to it. (Although that does sound like a fascinating mental exercise, trying to put a human [legislative] speed bump up on a pedestal.)

Yummy! Lemonade!
Yummy! Lemonade!

We have a fun suggestion we hope you will like: please make a donation to Katherine Heerbrandt’s web based media outlet, The Frederick Extra. She has years of experience as a journalist, and a great reputation as a fair and competent reporter. Of news. Locally. And we all know through the forces of market competition, the more people out their competing, the better the services should be (to view a contrasting example, note that Comcast has the same user interface it did in 1997). To make it the best possible treat, you could even make that donation in the name of one “esteemed” #kirbydelauter. He’s a national treasure, after all!

That last one’s a link sure worth revisiting, given today’s circumstances…

Way to go, Kirb-o. Never start learnin’.

Kirby proclaims the 4th Estate dead as a doornail!

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This year ain’t done with us yet folks!!!! Kirby has taken to his favorite medium to proclaim that said medium is now the way all Americans should get their information:

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What could go wrong?!

First off Donald Trump is going to give us the truth with no spin!!!! BAAAHAAAAHAAA! Who is the sheeple now #? If you really believe for one minute that Twitter, with its 140 character limit, is a sufficient way for an American President to convey pertinent information to us…then whoa man…we really fear for our future.

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Now let’s address how the “average American” no longer needs the “mainstream media”. Because this is what really has us hot under our collars. First of all, may we suggest Council Man Delauter, that you take a trip down to the Newseum so you can see for yourself how very important it is to our DEMOCRACY that we have a FREE PRESS. A FREE PRESS is absolutely essential to the free spread of ideas, opinions, information and is the ONLY way we have to investigate corruption in both corporations and the government!!!! What kind of elected official not only does NOT know this, but is actually pleased that the White House Press Corps will be locked out?! This is not a good development! This is exactly what dictators and tyrants do!!! But that’s right, Putin is a cool guy is he not, Kirby? Here’s a list that illustrates how the 4th Estate is doing in Russia.

Thankfully, once again, Kirby is so very wrong. How are newspapers doing in this current climate? Very well indeed. The Washington Post is doing so well that they are adding dozens of journalists. Vanity Fair, after Trump’s mantrum, saw their subscriptions soar!

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That’s about as accurate as Kirby’s Facebook post. They are twinsies!

The Atlantic and The New York Times have also seen a rise in donations and readership. Thinking people with a sense of history know the value and necessity of a free and unhindered press.

So what can we do to support our local media? Unless you want to friend Kirby to get his updates on local governmental issues (feel free!) or perhaps encourage him to open his @RealKirbyDelauter twitter account as we previously suggested, we need to support the Frederick News Post, even though according to Kirby they haven’t told the truth for “over 40 years,” we need to show them that we have their back! If you don’t already have a subscription, please click over and sign up! Or make a donation in Kirby’s name! Let’s show Kirby that we will not sit idly by while our one of our nation’s most important institutions is disparaged! We “average Americans” see the value of having the media call out our elected official’s bullshit.

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Get a clue Trump!

We thought lightning didn’t strike twice.

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There goes that Kirby proving us wrong again.

Usually Kirby only gets one column per month at the Tentacle. USUALLY. But since we are in topsy turvy nobody cares about anything anymore mode, he’s been  granted a second chance to offend our good senses. The topic? Danielle Gaines and her super no good column about the county council. Poor Danielle, just the other day Billy was praising her fairness (after this offending story came out mind you) but Kirby didn’t get the memo and he’s going to correct what’s wrong. Let’s start with the title, because ROTFLMAO!:

Newspaper Article’s Factual Errors Corrected

That’s right folks. Kirby’s gonna take those facts and do some correcting!! First off Kirby does not care for Danielle’s description of the other council members while he’s a yapping:

It painted Billy Shreve as seeing the comment as comical; it tries to show Tony Chmelik as embarrassed, and the remainder members of the council as studious and basically annoyed.

We here at the Yokel have watched every single meeting, along with council workshops and we are going to have to rate this statement as:

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100% never been more sure about anything in our lives true!

Then there’s some blah blah, stable tax rate is the same as a tax hike, bond ratings are good because of Blaine and then he offers up his excuse as to why he hasn’t written any legislation ever:

“Councilman Donald likes to chide me for never introducing a bill in two years. Well, yes, if I have to introduce legislation for civility and water buffers we don’t need, then, yes, you will see no bills from me.”

That’s right fellow citizens!!!!! Since niceties and water buffers are all we have going on in these here parts count Kirby out of the legislating process! He’s not going to do a damn bit of legislating and you can’t make him! He then goes on about Bud’s 180 and how there’s not a bit of leadership on the council, because hey, if you can’t keep Kirby and Billy in line that must be YOUR failure. There just isn’t any other logical explanation.

Then the hounds are released upon Jan. You see, fellow citizens, if the council agrees with the county executive then they aren’t doing their job. If they aren’t there to say no, as was the fashion of our Congress to President Obama, then things just aren’t getting done. It’s a failure of leadership. So heed Kirby’s warning peeps:

“It’s apparent nothing will change, the council will be an extension of the county executive, and she will run the county through fear and intimidation, just as she has for the 20-plus years she’s been involved in county government.”

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Really Kirby GIVE IT A REST! Nobody is singing this narrative but you and your cronies.

It’s all good though. Kirby is FINE with being in the minority. He’s going to just keep on trucking. And come 2018 he just knows things are going to change. Finally something we can all agree on!