Some good news in the county today. County Executive Jan Gardner announced that the county has teamed with two developers in a $27 million deal to get Butterfly Ridge and Sugar Loaf Elementary built. Kirby was not in attendance and for some reason we don’t believe that either one of these developers were the “secret developer” that he had in mind.
In the same news release we learn of the formation of a round table to discuss building schools more cost effectively and a task force that Kirby and Tony wanted to talk about leasing school buildings. A round table sounds like a reasonable adult discussion may take place. On the other hand, a task force has connotations of a brawl waiting to happen. See the press release for yourself:
Whew! With all of the meetings lately and St. Patrick’s Day coming up,we are going to go with an non-alcoholic version this week. Before you revolt, remember you can always add some Fireball, Vodka or whatever your poison happens to be. We’re just trying to look out for y’all. Grab youragenda and follow along.
This is soooo boring we know. But if Billy abstains from the consent agenda, again, mix yourself up a Banana Bonkers.
The next item is to just change around some dates for the bargaining for the Fire and Rescue union. Our First Responders’ unions are rarely met with the same vitriol that other unions face. But if someone uses this as an opportunity to go all anti-union on us slam back The Ghoul’s Green Drink.
Now it’s time for the public hearing on medical cannabis. We here at the yokel are for this. If there’s any talk about everyone turning into pot heads, sip gently on your Lean Green Smoothie.
All that’s left is public and council member comments. It’s the part of the evening where we usually get into trouble. So if you feel the need to pull out the booze we won’t judge.
Now, we will allow that maybe Kirby thought he was being funny. However, it is in no way, shape, or form ironic that the county passed an ethics ordinance. Even if he didn’t like it it doesn’t mean it’s corrupt. And this certainly was NOT the opposite of what everyone expected. When can we move on?
It’s hard to muster any sense of urgency here, folks. Like congress, thanks to the local obstruction, we remain mired in the same ol’, same ol’.
Tony Chmelik (R-odeo Clown) showed up last evening with a series of just in under the wire amendments to put forth on behalf of his buddy #KirbyDelauter, likely meant to turn the evening’s process to quicksand and possibly drum up some loopholes for the developer class that he represents. His latest hand wringing by proxy over the ethics ordinance (which passed, by the way) on top of his constant agonizing over the alleged persecution of builders who only want to build where schools are too crowded are awfully revealing. Obviously if a mitigation fee that may add $3 a month to a mortgage of several hundred thousand is such a burden, he could not make it more obvious that he is not representing his constituents. At least, not any who have school kids or drive on roads. It seems logical that six amendments should not be randomly appearing moments before third readings instead of during legislative workshops. We’ve been (as we have bored ourselves to tears saying) beating this same dead horse for a year now. sheesh.
Where’s Kirby?
Last minute shenanigans. We hope this is not going to be the new normal round these parts. At the last of these bake sales it was Kirby Delauter with his constitutional law farce. Kirby, as previously noted by your Local Yokel correspondents, was nowhere to be seen yestereve, in spite of us listening to him bellyache about the ethics ordinance for the past year. He’s busy vacationing in Floriduh. Let’s hope he is house hunting. Maybe they want him.
Indulge the local ladies in a moment of sheer fantasy; please let Kirby be moving to Florida to see if he can get equal protection under the law (hahaha) er, uh, county contracts in a county far, far away from here.
Every few weeks Kirby pens some propaganda for the Emmitsburg News Journal. (Sounds fancy, doesn’t it?)Predictably, Kirby focuses his “column” on the poor persecuted developers of our county. Read what we’ve had to say about this privatization idea here. He cries foul over Councilman Donald’s email that suggests that letting students eat lunch in the hallway rather than making developers pay their share is pathetic. Then there’s this:
Council Member Chmelik and I met with the Superintendent of Schools Dr. Terry Alban and we mentioned putting a task force together to have the school system lease schools from private entities, a true public, private partnership. One thing I said to Dr. Alban that I think resonated with her was that during the recent snow storm I asked her how she spent her time? She said she was busy coordinating efforts to see when schools could be open. I replied that if she leased the schools from a private entity, she could make a simple phone call and state what day she wanted the schools open, and if they were not open, the entity would pay a penalty, pre-determined within their contract. This way she can concentrate on what she does best, educating students and not worrying about snow removal. I mentioned also that it’s her job to produce students that enter college, vocational school, the military or the workforce that are educated and prepared for this highly competitive world we live in. We all agree on that.
Folks, this hurts our brains. Is this private entity going to be in charge of clearing all the roads to and from the school. Because, if not, how the hell are the students going to get there? And what about all the other schools in the county? This logic truly boggles the mind. It sounds simple and reasonable, until you actually think about it for more than two minutes. No other new information was obtained from this letter. Other than he’ll have it all worked out in the next “6-12 months”.
Quite the intrigue here in Frederick this week! First we had Kirby’s declarations ofunconstitutionalityconcerning his sad, lost county contracts. Now, at last night’s joint BOE meeting, we learned that Kirby has a mysterious developer all ready to finance one of the two needed county elementary schools.
Why the mystery you may be asking? Well, just shut up!!! Kirby has his reasons!!! He won’t tell us, but why should he? It couldn’t be because there are some pretty outlandish conditions associated with this, could it?
What we learned from watching, and today’s FNP article, is that this all has the smell of back door school privatization. Not only would this school be leased back to the county, which has been been a bad deal throughout the land…Well, just look:
Cost savings may also come from custodial and maintenance operations being handled by the private sector, the councilmen said.
So here we go again! Remember all this privatization crap when Blaine came into office? Now, Tony and Kirby invite it to rear it’s ugly head once again. Here’s a great quote from an NEA analysis on privatizing school support services:
There is less accountability to the residents of a school district by their elected representatives when vital services are taken over by private contractors. Contractors tend to focus on performing only the tasks contained in their work descriptions, which is understandable because they are hired only to perform specific narrowly defined jobs.
By contrast, school district employees tend to view themselves as a vital part of the system of education, and provide numerous “intangibles” that enhance the quality of their work and the educational experience of children in school.
School district employees routinely perform a range of tasks that are not typically thought of as being in their official job descriptions but that are vitally important in providing a high quality education for children. [i] The great majority of educational support workers live in the school district where they are employed, and they feel responsible to their neighbors for the quality of their work.
Most private contractors base their sales pitch on the premise that they can provide the same or greater service at lower cost
Kirby and Tony cannot treat the school system as they do their contracting and excavating businesses. It’s not the same on any level. Our children are not commodities that can be moved around on a spreadsheet. They are unique human beings with a variety of talents and needs. And quite frankly, if we don’t get this part of their lives right and educate them properly, then we as a society will feel the repercussions for years to come. We must not allow the promise of a badly needed school lead us down a path of high costs, poor services and low wages. For this low wage, low cost thinking that has led to the elimination of many middle class jobs in this country.
We do need good discussion and solutions as to how to finance not only these two schools, but schools that will be needed down the road. It will have to be a combination of private and public funds and it must be a priority. It should not be a back door dismantling of our public education system all in the guise of saving money. We cannot let these gentlemen get away with that!
As for who the developer is, we really have no idea. But that is not going to stop us from speculating wildly and naming Roy Stanley. Should we start a pool?
Busy week here in the county!!! First off we have a regular legislative day on the 16th and then a joint BOE meeting on the 17th. The agenda looks juicy, so grab it here and play with caution. No alcohol poisoning. We need all the Yokels we can get in this upcoming election season!
Budget transfers have been going pretty well lately. However, the library is on the list this week! And you know how thoughts of reading and learning really get some of our councilmen in a tizzy. Slam back an Attitude Adjustmentif you hear any negative thoughts about the fancy learning that the libraries afford us. We can dream that change can happen, can’t we?!
Next up are appointments. If anyone decides to take to behave like a U.S. Senator threatening to block a Supreme Court justice, shoot back two, yes two glassfuls of Four Horsemen.
Look how happy Billy is with his prop! Photo: Bill Green, FNP.
Time to discuss deer hunting and crop damage. Should be interesting. Not sure where to take this one, so just sip upon your Ratty Ol’Deer Head whenever you hear the word deer.
Great Helena, Zeus, Poseidon, and Sappho please hear all of our combined cries for mercy!!!!! It’s time for the dead horse ethics discussion. There just isn’t any way that we will get through this without any nonsense, is there? No Kirby you cannot profit off the county until 2018!!! And no more teacher/BOE conflict of interest talk!! NONE!!! Set up a row of Cement Kickersand drink as much as you need to calm your nerves!!
Maybe we will get lucky and Gumption the Dragon will make another appearance at tonight’s meeting. She’s really keen on the Narconon and really, really hates this special exception bill. If we are lucky enough to spot this local celebrity, treat yourself to some Dragon’s blood.
Let’s just lump impact fees and school construction into one category shall we? If Kirby makes the big reveal about how he’s going to single-handily fix our education problems mix up some Too Cool for School, since we suspect his plan has something to do with dismantling public education.
We apologize, but really it isn’t our fault. #kirbydelauter has once again taken to the noodley appendage to spread his delusions. Clickhere to read if you dare or just read our fine synopsis.
We need a lobbyist!!! Kirby informs us that he has a gambling problem and then gives a bunch of numbers showing how economical it would be for the council to hire a lobbyist to get Frederick County more moolah. And we are all so skeptical about this. Because you know who told Kirby that Frederick was missing out on money? That’s right, the lobbying firm. Well that’s some fine unbiased information isn’t it? Do we not have State Delegates for this purpose? Or is it that Kirby cannot demean himself to deal with any Democrats to bring home the State dollars? Hmm.
Now it’s going to get much, much worse. It’s impact fee time. Kirby uses a lot–and we mean a lot–of numbers to try to get his point across. He goes back to some Jan Gardner/Doug Browning conspiracy of yesteryear. # claims that since a past impact fee increase failed to work, it’s no use going down that road again. It’s at this point, dear readers, that we believe that Kirby either suffers from short term memory loss AND/OR believes that the rest of us do. In 2012, the Board of County Commissioners voted to stop the inflationary increase that was set to kick in every July 1st:
In other words, they did not allow the impact fees to work. There was also that time they changed fees. Surely Kirby wants y’all to forget about that as well. GRRR!!! You cannot alter the impact fees and then complain they were a failure!!! It doesn’t work that way!
So how do we fix the school construction problem?
That’s right! We Jiffy Lube the school employees! It’s a true fact that if you don’t have to pay salaries and benefits you can save lots of cash! Look people, from the looks of his article, Kirby didn’t learn anything about sentence structure or any of that other fancy learning. So do your kids really need an education? How’s about we do away with that altogether? Just imagine the savings!
For this month’s meeting we are going to lay off the hard liquor and only offer wine and beer options. Make sure you grab your agendaand please remember this game is only for entertainment purposes. We hear that Billy isn’t taking any more calls.
Right out of the gate there is a budget transfer for the Department of Aging. And oh yawn, Billy will say something about Aurora’s hurt feelings and how Jan is going to take everyone’s land away. When he does slam back An Arrogant Bastard.
Next it’s time to sign the Ordinance allowing Ourisman Chevorlet to expand their dealership. There’s already been lots of discussion and a vote. So if any last minute shenanigans rear their ugly heads, have a little sip of some Le Vin De La Merde. ( Billy would be happy to translate for you)
Uh-oh, Union talk. However, when the union applies to the Fire department it’s not met with the same vitriol as let’s say…the teacher’s union. All this bill wants to do is lengthen the amount of time the union has to bargain. If any, and we mean any, anti-union talk makes it in to this discussion, go ahead and have yourself a Blind Pig. Since you would have to be one to not see all the benefits of an organized work force.
What’s this? Emperor Jan wants her minion Bud to be able to approve budget transfers under these very specific conditions:
1-8-31. COUNCIL PRESIDENT APPROVAL OF CERTAIN TRANSFERS OF UNENCUMBERED APPROPRIATIONS.
(A) The County Council authorizes the President of the County Council to approve, on behalf of the County Council, a transfer of an unencumbered appropriation that:
(l) The County Executive has recommended;
Is between departments, agencies and offices•
Is within the same fund in the Operating Budget: and
Transfers $10,000 or less.
If the County Council President, in the President’s sole discretion, does not approve the transfer of the unencumbered appropriation, the County Council may consider and approve the transfer.
Venus have mercy on our souls!!!! We just know there is going to be quite a bit of lively discussion about how Bud is just a rubber stamp to the capricious whims of Bloody Jan. So when this all too predictable mess begins get your six pack of Red Emperor.
As if all of the above wasn’t enough, we are back to ethics. One would hope, that by now, Kirby would come to some kind of peace with this. That he will stop turning bright red and stammering on about the teacher’s conflict of interest and just generally looking like a crazy person. So WHEN this happens pass around a bottle of Pure Arrogance.
Whew! This week is rough! Now on for special exceptions for historical structures. Here comes the Trout Run talk out of Billy! Time to beer bong the Cult of the Occult!
Now it’s time for Public Comment and those troublesome (at least for some) council member comments. This has been a busy evening so save yourself the hangover and have some water while you listen to the informative ramblings.
What must be going through Councilman Shreve’s brain when he sits at his computer to pen his excuses for the Woodsboro times? Does he really expect anyone to relate to this stream of consciousness b.s. ?I mean really folks, does he really think we are this dumb? Let us start with excuso numero uno:
December, 12 months in office. #1 duty of the County Council is to provide budget oversight. So far, after 12 months, we still have not hired a Budget Director. I have protested this repeatedly by abstaining on all budget related votes, over 60 times this year. (I refuse to do hunger strikes : )
Ha ha! As if Billy’s not going to eat for you jerks!!! So, why did he vote “yes” for Trout Run? And why vote against the minutes? Because it’s all a very convenient bunch of crap. Billy must have been hungry when he wrote this because there’s this:
I’m not a big government guy and don’t propose hiring employees just to have them, but if you are running a restaurant, you need a cook, dishwasher, and server. The Council inherited a $550 million dollar budget and a population of 240,000. An entity this size requires staff to handle the day to day operations on day one! We aren’t running a coffee shop; we need employees.
But you just said a coffee house/restaurants need employees. Wouldn’t the better analogy be: like a coffee shop, we need an adequate number of employees to make sure things run smoothly. OHH OHH! 25 word job-posting digression time:
Billy’s Speech Writer
Must be able to take endless non sequiturs and unrelated analogies and translate them into standard English. Overtime a must!
Any hoo! Back to the article. There’s lots and lots of complaining about Mike Gastley, and how they had to put all the numbers into Kirby’s work budget software (what the what). And they still, even though they were on the BOCC for four years, weren’t able to make heads of tails of it all. What we find most interesting about this whole written catastrophe is what Billy leaves out. He omits the name of the very person that Billy and Kirby put forth. A person who not only vacations with one Councilmember, and tailgates with another, but one who is living with the very person who lost to Jan! Look at his complaint about Mr. Gastley:
How can we believe he will support the Council and not the County Executive? Is this the right person to provide checks and balances to the County Executive? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Now, can we believe that this person that Billy and Kirby put forth will provide the the appropriate support to ALL of the members of the county council? That this person would also, without bias, take information from the County Executive’s office and relay that to the council? I think we can be safe to say: NOOOOOOOOO! Maybe–just maybe–Billy would have just a shred of credibility if he had not put this name forward. But hey, since when has Billy ever worried about that?
frederick local yokel 
