On this All Hallow’s Day will our council members behave like Saints? LMAO!!! No Way!

Hopefully you are all recovered from your Halloween celebrations and ready to tune into your favorite reality show. There’s a goodly amount on the agenda  and we are oh so sure that Billy is going to find himself on the wrong side of some issues ce soir. It’s only one week until the General Election and the closer we get the more unhinged Shrelauter becomes. So do try to remember this game isn’t meant to be taken for reals. Even though we understand the urge to drink away the idiocracy.

As always the night begins with public comment and budget adjustments. We are too bored by Billy’s ever changing nays and abstains to even a look up a drink for this portion.

Next we have a County Executive appointment, if Kirby accuses Jan of having a private chauffeur (something he did on Facebook this week ) slam back a Ms. Daisy, since that’s who she was accused of behaving like. (And of course, it isn’t true. She just happened to be in a car as a passenger. The horror!)

Roger Wilson is in the house to present the final legislative package for the 2017 session. Flipping through the pages, we don’t see too many Shrelauter suggestions. Wonder why that is?  Nevertheless, there’s lots of good stuff so take a look! When Kirby objects to something have a Mad Russian, since we hear Kirby’s a great admirer of Putin.

It’s time to vote on the Noise Ordinance. Billy wanted some “unreasonable amendments” according to the High Sheriff, so we may hear some grumblings from that corner. When he cries over not be allowing to shriek loudly through the streets sip on your Screaming Banana Banshee. 

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We’ve written here and there about human trafficking. Billy was against having a work shop on this issue because there are groups for human trafficking.

Not ever again Billy!!!
Not ever again Billy!!!

However, more intelligent heads prevailed, and tonight there is a public hearing on this issue. If either one of our least favorite council members say anything stupid, save up your money so you can drink some Unicorn Tears.

Council will go into closed session, to which Billy will object, and then reconvene at 7:00.

There’s a second reading on a bill to create a program for clean energy for commercial properties.  If we hear any talk at all about how global warming isn’t a thing, set up some shots of Kahula Earthquakes and slam away!

We end, as always, with public and council member comments. Let’s hope for the best. Don’t forget, if you haven’t voted already, please do so on the 8th. We are sure we will be reporting on some of our elected official’s reactions on the 9th! Sure of it!

Clean up on Aisle 5!

Three hours people! Three hours we suffered tonight. Your Nasty Lady Yokels were commenting to one another throughout tonight’s fracas how boooring Kirby and Billy’s antics have become. It used to be mildy amusing to watch, then infuriating, and now we are oh so melancholy about them. It’s kind of like the five stages of grief. The five stages of watching Shrelauter:

Stage One: Benign Amusement

Stage Two: Disbelief

Stage Three: Horror

Stage Four: Clinical Depression

Stage Five: A new found purpose to make sure that these two never get elected again so we can have a functional county government.

Digression over. Let’s wrap up tonight’s display.

Vote of no from you know who on the agenda. His wonder twin utters yes as though it’s some kind of brave protest against saying the proper aye. Budget amendments passed.

High Sheriff is in the house for discussion of the noise ordinance. Seems annoyed with Shreve. Doesn’t want how often noise meters need to be calibrated written into ordinance. Wonder what stage of Shrelauter the Sheriff is on? Will be voted on November 1.

Now it’s time for the long awaited presentation about Citizens and Montevue. Here’s some slides for you to peruse:2016-10-25-1

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There’s more to it, so you can always watch that part of the meeting if you want to see the whole thing. And you know that two people are going to be upset about this. Kirby admits that even though he had all of the documents pertaining to this since May, he didn’t read it because it could have changed! That’s right, no reading until Kirby is sure nothing will change. Billy pipes up, “Look how much the MOU changed.” So, basically, even though these two have complained for months that they wanted the information, they’ve had it since May! But nobody told them it wasn’t going to change!! So keep your comments to yourselves! Kirby then wastes everyone’s time talking about National vs. State vs. Aurora’s averages when it comes to different measures of the nursing home. And we are glad to hear that Aurora is doing well, since they are going to continue providing care. However, at this point, he’s just wasting everyone’s time.  Billy chimes in trying to land zingers which fall to the ground like burnt out fire works. He is met on every point by Doug and Lori. Later, during his council member comments, he compares the presentation to something you would watch on TV with a beer (not sure what he’s watching), but we wholly disagree. Thanks for all you do Doug and Lori!

We break before the hotel hearing for ten minutes. Doug is back and goes over some of the changes to the MOU. There are more pro speakers than con (again). Kirby decides to read a letter from Randy Cohen into the record. Jessica wants three minutes put on the clock since technically this is public comment. Kirby and Billy throw mantantrums and shut her down. Bud asks them to treat each other with respect to which Kirby screams, “That’s right we have a civility code!” Sigh. Why does one citizen get the right to read his email into the record by a council member? Kirby claims its because he has skin in this game. But we can’t help but feel how unfair this is. If it was so important to him then Mr. Cohen should have showed up to the meeting or had a representative do so. Kirby should not be reading one citizen’s letter into the record, thereby giving the appearance that his opinion is more important.  M.C. tries once again to redirect the discussion back to the task at hand. Which is approving an MOU in which the county will only contribute. $2.8 million for public improvements. The county has no hand in anything else to do with this. Tony steps in with THAT tone. You know ladies, that mansplaining tone that he only seems to get with M.C. and Jessica. WE DO NOT CARE FOR IT ONE BIT.  MOU is passed 4-3.

…..Council Member Comments…….

Just horrible. Kirby’s upset. Calls Main Street money the Great Bribe Back. Lets us know that Obama Care is killing everyone. That’s right everyone! Tony’s mad about a letter that he agrees with but since he thinks it’s all about electing Democrats, it’s bad. He’s got some words about Billy’s uncle and the way he was treated. And then so does Billy, claims is the third time he’s seen this situation, but of course no details. So there!

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M.C. says she goes next to last because she feels like she always needs to clean up on Aisle 5. And LOL! Is there a dust pan big enough to contain Shrelauter? Says she has documents about the whole situation on Ijamsville Road which shows some fault lies upon the homeowner. We really feel for M.C. she always tries to bring the outliers back to task. It’s a hard exasperating job, and we really appreciate her for it!

 

 

 

What does this week have in store for us? Your October 25th drinking game.

Among charges of sexual harassment and the County Executive targeting Billy’s relatives we have another county council meeting. The closer to the election we get, the more out of control Shrelauter becomes. So brace yourselves dear readers, for we fear the worst is yet to come. As always, remember this game is for entertainment purposes only. We don’t want anyone ending up in the detox tank!

 

Poor little bunny just couldn't take it anymore.
Poor little bunny just couldn’t take it anymore.

We start off with Public Comment and a new disclaimer about budget adjustments:

The Council will not discuss individual Budget Adjustment items and will vote on all the Budget Adjustments in the form of one motion. Council Members wishing to discuss one or more of the Budget Adjustments shall make a request to the President at least 24 hours in advance of the meeting, stating the issue(s) to be addressed and requesting administration staff be present for discussion of that budget adjustment. Provided a majority of the Council support the request, the item will be subject to discussion by the Council.

Well what about those council members who don’t bother to read anything until they sit down for the meeting? Jeeze, isn’t this discriminatory against those who, in the spirit of Donald Trump, do not believe preparation is necessary? When you hear something along those lines have yourself a nice cool Something in the Whey.

Next up is the 2nd reading on changes to the noise ordinance. The High Sheriff is very much in favor of this. Billy is the only one adding “unreasonable amendments” at this point. We’ll most likely hear some stories from the public regarding issues they’ve had with their neighbors. So sit back and sip on your Monkey Gland, and we’ll see how this all goes down during the 3rd reading.

Now we are all going to have to brace ourselves for this part of the evening. Lori Depies and Doug Browning are going to give a presentation about Citizens and Montevue. Shrelauter has been going off at the mouth about this for months and months. We hope that Ms. Depies and Mr. Browning are prepared for the certain onslaught they are going to recieve from our two favorite nincompoops. We are glad this is settled, so in Ms. Depies and Mr. Brownings honor, mix up a batch of About Thyme.

Everyone reconvenes at 6:00. (Guess Billy won the war on the time.) From what we’ve seen in the paper and Facebook pages about the Downtown Hotel project, we are probably in store for a long hearing about the MOU tonight. Settle in and make a large bowl of Ambassador’s Punch. Since it’s probably going to take an Ambassador’s touch to get the pro and con people to come together.

There’s no doubt that Council Member comments will be something to behold this evening. To avoid any permanent liver damage, grab yourself a can of your favorite fruit flavored sparkling water and re-hydrate!

What is Billy qualified to do?

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If you follow our posts, you know we have approximately infinity examples of Billy’s incompetence as a council member. Let’s call it a Treasury of Billy’s mistakes. Today we have been made aware that his incompetence also extends to his role as Chairman of the local Republican Central Committee.

Danielle Gaines reported in today’s paper  on the occurrence of this delightful incident:

The Frederick County Republican Central Committee’s chairman was planning to lend thousands of dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign in Maryland, where the billionaire presidential candidate faces long odds of winning.

The chairman, Billy Shreve, said the planned expense was canceled. But while it was considered, the nearly $12,000 loan would have represented a significant majority of the committee’s coffers, campaign finance and central committee records show.

Instead, the Maryland Republican Party picked up the expense — because the donation would have violated Federal Election Commission rules. The county central committee made an initial payment, later refunded, without registering an FEC number and without disclosing the expense within the federal campaign finance reporting system.

Such a shock  that Billy wouldn’t understand the Federal Election Commission Rules. I mean really, we didn’t expect that he was going to actually read, or ask, or investigate the proper way to make a donation, did we?  And it’s not clear whether or not the other members of the central committee were keen on spending all the dollars on Trump:

Messages with three members of the Frederick County Republican Central Committee were not immediately returned on Wednesday evening.

Two other members — Darren Wigfield and Mike Bowersox — referred comments to Shreve.

And why would he spend $12,000 on a candidate who has 0.1% chance of winning in Maryland. Aren’t there other candidates on the ballot that money may have been better spent on? The Maryland Republican Party, who hadn’t planned on making this donation, instead donated the money. What was that chairman’s response to what Billy had done?:

“It was something people wanted, so we went ahead and did it …,” Cluster said. “Look, central committees — sometimes they get excited about things.”

Excited?! Kinda like a Labrador Retriever excited? Or a 4 year old child who hasn’t learned any self control kinda excited?  Because honestly Billy could fit into either category. We hope beyond hope that when the next election shows up he is shown the door. At least his position as co-chair of the elect Trump campaign of Frederick County is surely coming to an end.

It sure does!
It sure does!

Parking lot drama y’all!

Remember way back in the bright shiny new days of the county council when Shrelauter had a hissy fit over losing their parking spaces?  We thought all this parking lot drama was long over, but once again, we underestimated #’s talent for beating dead horses. Here is a thing that happened tonight:

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First of all, we believe you may want to capitalize Queen Bee, as you are using it as a proper noun ole exulted leader from District 5.  But seriously folks? What the everlasting hell is that? So what if she allowed him to use his spot when she wasn’t there? Why does everything have to be framed as some dirty, corrupt transaction? Is this the only way people in his world do things for one another? If so, let us tell you something Kirbo! People who are friendly with one another, who respect one another, they sometimes do favors for one another with no strings attached! It’s true! It’s called being a decent human being. Sorry if that’s a foreign concept for ya!

In the comments we saw this:

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So funny!!! Mr. “Whoops I Thought This Was Just A Massage” is making light of Billy’s sexual harassment claims! We wonder if Billy put the sad crying face up there. Why can’t Billy get anyone to take him seriously?

Nothing Happened.

So, there was a council meeting today and by the time we got connected to the WiFi the business was pretty much done and on to Public and Council Member Comments.

This would have been the shortest council meeting in history, except someone mistakenly activated the Hashtag Signal again. D’oh! So then we had to listen to Kirby’s regularly scheduled nursing home/Jan Gardner rant, recently augmented by his hotel TIF tiff. There was even some stuff in there he wasn’t sure if had happened or not, but it probably did, so why not throw a fit about it anyway (psssst: because that makes you look stupid…). If he could limit the Two Minutes Hate to two minutes, things would be a lot nicer for everyone involved. Frankly, we’re getting bored with him. His effort to weave from one talking point to the next has the end result that he rarely makes any sense.

Calling #KirbyDealauter. (Never.)
This device needs some kind of secondary verification.

Other members of the council spoke of nice and positive things like the rededication at Culler Lake, Oktoberfest, that our county has been identified a County of Opportunity, and recognition given to the Hispanic and Latino community in Frederick. Jerry Donald did some pro TIF/hotel chattering, pointing out that the mayors of absolutely everywhere came out to say what a good thing that downtown hotel will be for the whole dang county.

Even Billy didn’t sound too crazy tonight. Most probably because he is all burned out from the derpfest he has been on since this whole Trump campaign tickled his fancy (oh no…that’s probably not the right way to allude to Trump or Billy, given the recent news here, there, and everywhere…). Maybe he’s feeling dejected because Trump is going to get his butt handed to him in this election, although we seriously doubt Billy has ever heard of Nate Silver or Sam Wang or poll aggregation or the electoral college at all, so he probably has no idea really. Sad.

Let’s spice this meeting up! Your October 18th drinking game!

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This week’s meeting looks a little, how shall we say it? Boring as all get out. So let’s stray away from the agenda this week and envision some possible scenarios we may see at tonight’s meeting.

When Billy talks about his PTSD from the sexual harassment he suffered, mix yourself up a tall Pink Faced Liar.  For someone who is the co-chair of the local Trump campaign cannot feel this way.

Kirby’s upset about someone “misconstruing” a piece of legislation that was passed during his BOCC days. Wants to make it “known” that whatever new legislation that is before them, even if it contains all the same words, is certainly NOT the same thing. Make sure you have a Goodbye Sigh to get your through this tirade.

Any mention of someone being a moron before gathering all the facts deserves an Idiot Box.

Tony is going to vote for something, but not before he lets us all know why he really shouldn’t be. Have some Why Not on hand for this one.

Jerry has to fact check ole # for the eleventybillion time. It is futile. Sip an good old Oxymoron in honor of Jerry’s efforts.

M.C. projects the patience of a Saint when presented with the most illogical, grandstanding council members this side of the Mississippi. When she once again tries to bring everyone back to the task at hand, have yourself a Saint Lawrence cocktail.

Jessica has to clear something erroneous that Kirby said about the teacher’s union, or TIF’s, or human trafficking or anything really.  Go ahead and have a Painkiller in her honor.

Bud has to demean himself by addressing Billy’s most ludicrous suggestion that he sexually harassed him.  Mix up a whole pitcher of Crazy Monkey, for we feel like one right now.

Has Billy seen the light??

In FNP’s Political Notes section today, reporter Danielle Gaines writes about Billy’s extremely bad judgment concerning the Cub Scout pic. In this article we learn that everything is as bad as it seemed. Billy tries to frame this whole incident as an “innocent” picture in which the boys asked for the stickers and the signs. Well, we know how stingy the Republican Central Committee is with their Trump signs because Billy proudly proclaimed on Katherine Heerbrandt’s radio show that they raked in thousands of dollars at the fair selling them. So no kids, you can’t have a sign but Uncle Billy will gladly allow you to snap a pic with one!

The leader of said troop, admittedly an old pal of Billy’s, said that one child sat out of the picture. And if that isn’t an indication of why such a thing shouldn’t occur we don’t know what is! What kind of leader allows an activity in which one or more of your members are going to feel excluded? How many of these parents and boys felt the need to go through with it because their leader and some of the other boys were so gung ho? The leader claims that they have “chalked this up as a learning lesson.” We certainly hope so. Billy sure hasn’t. After he received his letter of reprimand about using political signs in Winchester Hall his response was:

Shreve said if anyone talked to him before filing complaints, he would have described how the photo innocently came about.

Yeah, doesn’t matter Billy. You and the troop leader are supposed to be the grown ups. Just because you got all giddy thinking these kids were so into Trump doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want to!

It’s the last line of this story that we would like to focus on now. Now, take a seat, remove all sharp objects and hot beverages from your area. Are you ready?

“I think anytime you assume anything without getting all the facts first, you’re a moron,” he said.

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Billy’s new name tag? Oh the irony.

WOW! JUST WOW! Your Lady Yokels almost fell over after reading that! Let’s go back in the Yokel archives and see if we can uncover a time or two or three or a million when Billy spoke without getting all the facts.

Remember a few weeks back when Billy assured us that we could drink out of any stream in Frederick County and then a report came out the very next day telling us that was certainly not the case? Or how about the time he suggested a class action lawsuit against Bud Otis for changing political parties? Let’s not forget about the time when he voted for a change to the hotel tax while he was a BOCC member, but then oh so magically changed his mind when his enemies wanted the same exact change. You may also remember that time when he and his buddy Kirby put out a press release asking for people to apply to the position of Budget Director. Something they did not have the authority to do. And let’s not forget his very interesting, “fact based” arguments as to why we should keep the English Language Ordinance. Even though Frederick County could not adhere to it because, interestingly enough, the county government must follow State and Federal regulations. Big surprise that he doesn’t understand how government works. Of course we cannot forget about what we learned yesterday. Billy claims that he is so very hurt and demeaned now that he has experienced sexual harassment first hand. However, that has not stopped him from being the co-chairman for the campaign of the one who is well on the path to being the greatest sexual harasser of our time!

Quite honestly we could sit here and do this all day long. But we think you get the point. Unless Billy has had one these moments:

 

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Oops, just kidding!

 

Which is oh so doubtful. We can only assume that he is an obtuse hypocrite who does not deserve the honor of representing our fine county.

Can we have one meeting where someone doesn’t complain about the nursing home? The answer, of course, is no.

The discussion of whether or not to approve the non binding Memorandum Of Understanding (MOU)  began and ended with exactly the same point. This meeting was to discuss the county’s TIF (Tax Incremental Funding) bond of $2.8 million. That’s it. Doug Browning (nice to see you back Doug!) and Council Member Keegan-Ayer made that clear at the beginning and end of the discussion. That’s all the county has to consider at this point. Sounds easy, right? WRONG.

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Kirby wants it KNOWN that the agreement signed in 2014 with the city is not the same one they are speaking of now. Actually, as Council Member Donald points out, it is! Jerry tells Kirby that he can read it to him and Kirby says: You can read what is says but I am going to tell you what it means!!! That’s right folks, forget about all that vocabulary you learned during your fancy elite schooling because it doesn’t matter! Kirby will now tell you what all the words mean!! Isn’t that a relief?  He wants to make sure that all you jerks are not going to “pin this” on the last BOCC! Kirby rambles on about how everyone is being disingenuous dangling the carrot of Main Street money in front of municipalities. Because of course they will say yes to money! Durh! And finally, he would have never voted for this if he had known we were picking the winners and losers in the hotel business. Hmm, winners and losers… that sounds familiar. Where have we heard that line before?

True conservative Republicans would say that being open for business means no government restrictions, other than protecting the public, allowing the free market to dictate winners and losers.

That’s right, those exact words were in Blaine’s last column that he wrote for the Frederick News Post before that honor was taken away from him because of that unfortunate hotel thing.

Jerry makes some more points about the increase in tax revenue the county will receive and Kirby uses that opportunity to bemoan the nursing homes….again.

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Now Billy is waiting in the corner to pounce. He’s got a bunch of  nonsensical questions that all have a very reasonable answer. He tries with a mortgage analogy and fails miserably. Then he tries a car. Tells Doug and Richard it’s as though you are giving them a brand new car and saying here just change the oil and take care of the tires. But bless Richard’s heart, he turns the car analogy around and says: No, it’s as though they built almost the entire car, including the engine, and now they have to take care of it. Thank you for playing along with our village idiot sir.

We haven’t heard much from Tony lately, but he’s using tonight as his chance to step back into the spotlight. He’s doing his thing where he tells us he’s going to vote for whatever is on the table, however, you people are still going to listen to all of his objections to it first. The most curious was that he was lamenting the fact that Fort Detrick would be using a 4 star hotel to hold their meetings. He’s insinuating that those kinds of accommodations are way too nice for government employees. Jeeze, you greedy tax suckers, can’t you just be happy with the old waffle house down by the highway?

M.C. is exasperated by all this talk and tries to redirect the fellas back to the task at hand.  You are only voting on the TIF of $2.8 million (which is lower than what was agreed to in 2014) that will only be used for public improvements, STOP GRANDSTANDING!

No new business items to consider and they vote to go into closed session. Well, all except Billy, because he’s trying to get attention again. Meeting on whether or not they will vote on this MOU will take place on October 25.

Hotel workshop tonight!


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Tonight the county council with have a workshop on the downtown hotel project. More specifically they will discuss signing the non binding Memorandum of Understanding (MOU). New business items will also be mentioned which are always tons of fun! Maybe Billy will suggest the city replace Marriott with the Trump brand. We’ll be listening so you don’t have too!