Frederick County Council – Page 2 – frederick local yokel

Build the wall! No, not that wall!

February 26, 2019March 15, 2019 fclocalyokel3 Comments

Folks, this evening our fine county council hearing was infiltrated by a bunch of Carroll Countians trying to tell us what to do! Carroll County!

M.C. tells the room at the beginning she isn’t taking any nonsense. Three minutes is all y’all get! And don’t think you can come in and put your name above other people on my list! We love it!

These people have come decked out all in red to give us some dire warnings! But mind you they aren’t anti-Frederick County!

Red is apparently the color of the evening:

Screen Shot 2019-02-26 at 7.12.23 PM.png — What is this?

Here’s some quotes from those in favor of the river plan:

“We had to take valuable time from our family, friends and jobs to protect our property rights!” Ah, no you didn’t.

“You vote against this plan, you will have no plan!”

” I have no dog in this fight, but I am a supporter of the Constitution!”

“Politics is driving this process in Frederick County”

“There is no need for regulations, because the Monocacy River is already getting cleaner!” On its very own we suppose.

“I see a lot of people in red.” (Turns to audience in a ridiculous attempt at theatrics to have the red shirts stand. Then comments.) “The minority is laughing.” No lady, we are all laughing!!!! And just in case you didn’t know, Carroll County: just because you brought more people to the meeting doesn’t mean you are the majority. Our Frederick County Council does not bow down to the likes of you people!

“It will be sad to see a political agenda destroy our plan!”

“Before the election, nobody wanted to support that thing!”

Another Carroll County guy uses his time in the White House situation room as to why we should pass this plan.

“Frederick County is hostile towards the river!”

“Some of you know it’s the right thing to do but won’t vote for it because of your political handlers!”

Something about socialism..blah, blah, blah! What do words mean again?

” I am concerned about the perceived land grab!” Yeah, perceived is all it is!

Is your head about to explode yet? Why do these things always descend into a Parks and Rec public comment parody? And why are people who have things like this happen in their county:

How dare they slither across our border and illeaglely insert themselves into our local democratic process?

Trying to tell us what to do?!

There were heroes in blue as well:

“I’ve heard people say things like: My property rights are more important than the river.”

“The Monocacy contains dangerously high levels of nitrates and phosphorous!” Not to mention the fecal matter!

“We need a Frederick County science based plan!”

“The plan is a travesty! I was horrified at the bullying and sarcasm displayed by the Carroll County members of the river board to anyone who didn’t share their beliefs!”

“This really short changes Frederick County. Carroll County does not use the Monocacy as a drinking source like we do.” Also gives examples of the rude behavior of the Carroll County members of the board.

“The reason we have a Monocacy River Board is to protect the Monocacy River.”

“Property ownership doesn’t mean you can do whatever you want with your property.”

“The health of the Monocacy River should be a property right.”

Why does it seem like all the scientists testifying are against this plan? Hmmm.

This Carroll County farce of a plan cannot be passed! Maybe we should have a hearing to build a wall to keep these people out of our public hearings! Unless, of course, they are willing to take the #monocacydrinkingchallenge!

A Call to Action: Pro-clean water commenters needed at this week’s Monocacy River Plan hearing!

February 24, 2019February 24, 2019 fclocalyokel2 Comments

Land-Grab — Sigh.. How many times are we going to have to go through this?

Man, are we tired of beating this dead horse. For some reason there are a lot of folks out there, mainly spurred on by the Carroll County faction of the River Board, who are claiming that this plan is a government land grab. There’s even this email going around, encouraging people to show up at Tuesday’s night’s hearing in red t-shirts protesting this non-existent threat! (Why red, folks?!)

Here’s a little taste of the email:

2/26th is the Big Day at 7 pm, Winchester Hall, 12 E. Church St. Frederick (parking garage across street)

If you care about your property rights and the rights of others, PLEASE attend the final public hearing and send an email in right now to the politicians voting on the River Plan (sample emails attached). We need to keep the heat on when it matters most right now, to flood Winchester Hall with people – and bombard the County Council with emails in support of adopting the successfully revised 10/3/18 Monocacy River Plan.

Don’t quit when we’re almost at the finish line after nearly 2 1/2 years of speaking up to defend property rights. Your voice matters most now!

This issue is about preventing government over-reach and protecting private property rights.

Land Grab.jpg

Because should the govt unnecessarily reduce or diminish the property rights of some citizens – it diminishes the rights of ALL citizens.

On FEBRUARY 26TH AT 7 PM, THE LAST & MOST VITAL PUBLIC HEARING ON THE MONOCACY RIVER PLAN WILL BE HELD AT WINCHESTER HALLI N FREDERICK. YOUR ATTENDANCE AND EFFORTS TO SPEAK UP IN SUPPORT OF ADOPTING THE SUCCESSFULLY REVISED 10/3/18 RIVER PLAN IS CRITICAL TO HELP PROTECT CITIZENS’ PROPERTY RIGHTS. EVEN IF YOU DON’T SPEAK, SHOW UP (AND WEAR RED IN SUPPORT OF PROPERTY RIGHTS).

ALSO, IT’S VITAL TO SEND YOUR EMAILS IN TODAY TO SUPPORT ADOPTION OF THE 2018 RIVER PLAN!

Sent to: councilmembers@frederickcountyMD.gov, jgardner@frederickcountyMD.gov

It’s easy…send the email now. Just do it. Cut and paste from attached info and sample letters or do your own thing. But do something to act and urge the County Council to adopt the successfully revised 10/3/18 River Plan that protects both The Monocacy and citizens’ property rights. Send in emails before the 2/26th hearing and attend the hearing too.

It’s really important as the County Council counts emails to gage support. Don’t let all the hard work we’ve done for 2 1/2 years go to waste. Don’t go silent when we’re close to rounding home…even if you’re burned out on the River Plan…do not give up now when your action (and voice) is needed most. Those who are hoping to foil this successful revised River Plan that protects property rights – are hoping we’ll just tire and give up. It’s a known strategy to drag things out so long, that citizens give up. Don’t let this happen.

Think about property rights – do they matter or not? Of course they do!

The only good thing about all this very tiresome nonsense is that we get to bring this out of retirement:

696

First of all, let’s go to The Monocacy Scenic River Management Plan Update Fact Sheet:

The River Board’s 2017 Recommended Monocacy Scenic River Management Plan (“Recommended Plan”) is an update of the 1990 Plan. It describes the River’s ecology, environmental resources, natural & cultural history, and also contains recommendations for enhancement and protection of its corridor.

The Recommended Plan is not a legally binding document. It is similar to other County Plans such as the Historic Preservation Plan, and the Land Preservation, Parks and Recreation Plan that only provide recommended actions and policy guidance to the River Board and the County’s governing body.

We’ve also written about this quite a bit over the last year. Click here, here, here, here, and here to catch up. There’s also an excellent LTE that eloquently explains that though the land may belong to landowner, the water belongs to all of us. We are still waiting for Billy and all other supporters of water pollution to take the #monocacydrinkingchallenge!

And, just in case you need an example of what an actual land grab looks like, go ahead and read this article. Or if you need a more modern example, here’s another.

Go ahead drag out your blue t-shirts and plan on commenting against hyperbole, misinformation and for a clean river. If you can’t attend, email the council with your thoughts! Enough of this nonsense already!

It’s Land Grab Day!

February 12, 2019February 12, 2019 fclocalyokel2 Comments

Tonight the council is having a workshop on a variety of issues:

Screen Shot 2019-02-12 at 11.14.57 AM

We can just imagine all the folks lined up to talk about the erroneous belief that everyone’s land is getting snatched up by the River Plan. Which is a list of suggestions, not even a law, and which basically is trying to save the river which all of us have a vested interest in since, you know, we kinda need water to live. Which now gives us a Yokel flashback to when Billy said you could drink out of any waterway in Frederick and not get sick! I wonder how many of these naysayers would take the Monocacy River drinking challenge! Anyhoo, we’ll let you know how this all turns out!

Special Council Bulletin: Marathon Meeting Madness Warning

February 5, 2019 fclocalyokel2 Comments

We are looking at the agenda for tonight’s meeting and thinking that there’s a lot to cover, possibly due to the cancelation last week. Budget Adjustments get the party started, as is the custom. The fact that Billy is not available to dork around in a petulant manner at this point is cause for a swig of Barefoot Bubbly. The fact that we are scared that Phil Dacey is willing and able to fill that role makes us wonder if we won’t need something harder for these things in the future.

Other matters for the meeting include appointment confirmations, Monocacy River Plan Presentation, Maryland General Assembly Legislative Items. After the break there will be some bills for public hearing. Here they are (if you use the link above for the agenda then the links to the bills there will be active).

We kind of miss the games, but this Council offers more dignity than we are accustomed to. The rules for this meeting are simple: take a gulp of that cheap bubbly every time Phil reminds you of Billy in a suit.

We aren’t out of a hobby yet!

January 8, 2019January 8, 2019 fclocalyokel1 Comment

Ladies and gentlemen, Frederick Countians of all ages, we regret to inform you that we are some bit afeared of what we are hoping is not a trend. The early part–and extremely educational segment–of the meeting was focused on the budget decision held over from the previous meeting with regards to allowing the health department to buy a vehicle. In order for Phil Dacey to better understand the situation, Dr. Barbara Brookmyer came and gave an awesome tutorial, and we are all the better for knowing what we know now. Recommended viewing, in fact. Much like the Human Trafficking Workshop of the previous council, we learned a lot about a matter that has serious impact upon the well-being of our community.

Today we learned the health department is a dually led entity that is part state and part county. The state wants the county to procure a vehicle for a safe syringes program. NB: this will not cost the county money. The program in the state of Maryland involves several different mandatory elements, including collecting dirty needles, supplying clean needles, and undergoing disease testing for stuff like HIV and hepatitis C. Reasons they would like for this program to be successful in Frederick County include our geographic location on “The Heroin Highway” and our neighboring two abysmally afflicted counties in West Virginia. Dr. Brookmyer used a specific example of a jurisdiction that traced all 190 HIV cases to a single syringe, she stressed that the price of treating a single case of HIV can run to $600,000 (times 190 is $114,000,000.00) and a clean syringe costs 10 whole cents (times 190 is $19.00. Cost benefits analysis, bro.

Other reasons they would like to keep this thing mobile is the NIMBY’s preferring not to have a drug treatment program run on their corner (Weird, right! Have y’all heard about our totally uncontroversial Downtown Frederick Marriott, though?) and also that our county is hugenormous, and furthermore that people who do the drugs don’t necessarily come to your central office, especially because often they are not super interested in going to all that trouble for the express purpose of not doing the drugs. However, meeting them where they are at often establishes relationships that show them where to go and who will help when they do decide they ready to stop doing the drugs. Phil Dacey told us basically that it’s cool if many of us are infected with HIV, because he is a libertarian ideologue. Besides, he notes that he’s better than we think because he didn’t call it Uber for Needles. Har har. Honk if you love Frednecks in a suit. Opioids anyone? Hat tip to M.C. Keegan-Ayer for the adult perspective of child rearing in the days where your kids have lost someone to drugs. By all means, ideologue away by your lonesome. This decision passed 6-1, but at least our NewBilly can say “nay.”

There were also presentations on Public Information Act Requests, and Ethics, and Open Meetings. We learned all kinds of wise advice from this. You should not write out things you don’t want to see in print. Also probably don’t send your Anthony Weiner if you don’t want to see it in the news. That part, which we like to think was implied, was not covered, nor was, “He won’t buy the cow, dear, if you give him the milk for free,” but mostly this stuff was common sense responsibility. Also, too, no public money campaigning (but what about if you want to put your campaign sign and the Boy Scouts in Winchester Hall…still no? ok then…).

Then we had the final brouhaha in which we both kind of agree with Phil Dacey and simultaneously are in danger of having a stroke. He does not want to go into closed session to talk to the BOE appointee who would potentially fill Ken Kerr’s vacated seat, because he feels that elected people get elected in public, not quietly in an office. That’s true, and everyone kind of sees what he is saying, but there’s some reluctance to just up and change everything on this candidate mid-process because this was how they handled personnel changes before, and because doing like that’s frankly a bit obnoxious and unprofessional. Lots of back and forth ensues about whether or not they will ask this candidate about willingness to answer stuff in public, but he is still going to vote no about the closed session motion. At this point we are screaming at our TV: HOW WILL YOU ASK HER TO DO THAT IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE AND GO ASK? When will this magic take place? Please make it stop!!!!

Party Bonus: Dacey brought a fan club for public comment. Then Steve McKay reined that in with some diplomacy and knowledge about the authority behind this BOE replacement idea, which is The Code of Maryland Regulations (a.k.a. COMAR).

Cautiously optimistic happy fun time!

December 4, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

At the Local Yokel headquarters ,we are bustling with anticipation to see how the first meeting of our second county council goes! Grab your trusty agenda, turn on the FCGTV, and let’s hope for better times ahead. Billy is no longer in any position to help y’all out, so remember this drinking game is just for fun!

89c1a362746e1618a1873db451892bce06ed09e8028ef3c09d3a1a47bd70a8a0 — Alright Daffy, let’s not put a dark cloud on the meeting already!

The first items on the agenda are some handy dandy budget adjustments. Do we hear the ghosts of Billy’s abstentions lingering in the air?!

No, we do not!!! Mix yourself up a pint of Happy Pills to celebrate the end of that stupid era!

This first meeting will allow for the election of council officers, (remember the drama when Billy didn’t get to be president of the council?), scheduling of future council meetings, and appointments to boards and commissions. Let us cautiously sip on our Land of Happy while hoping everyone behaves like mature adults!

It will also be interesting to see who shows up for public comment this week! Will anyone show up bearing gifts? We’ll let you know how it all turns out!

Oh, they are not getting off this easy! Your Yokel good-bye post to the three amigos!

November 18, 2018 fclocalyokel2 Comments

download (8) — Listen to Buster, there is no need for such dramatics!

We kinda feel cheated here. We thought there was going to be at least one more meeting for us to narrate, one more chance to wax nostalgic about these long four years. However, since Bud wisely decided to allow the next council to make a decision on the Monocacy River Plan, it is over. We are not about to let Kirby, Billy, and Tony leave without one last post! We’ve worked way too hard over this last term to just let them slink away under the cover of darkness.

We dove into the old Yokel archives to come up with a top five list for each of our least favorite FORMER (ah man, that feels good to type) council members!

Let’s start with Tony. Our biggest problem with him was his condescension towards the women on the council and Jan in particular. We’ve also heard that there are those down in Winchester Hall who are very happy they no longer have to put up with his mansplaining ways! Take a look back to when he tried to mansplain something that wasn’t even happening!!!

Every budget season Tony liked to compare the county budget to his very own small business. You know since Tony hasn’t made enough money to give his workers a raise, the county should operate along the same lines! Here’s a trip down memory lane to remind y’all just how long-winded and off course he could be.

Remember when Tony introduced the off-track betting bill and tried to tell us it was open to any restaurant ? We smelled a rat and decided to take Kirby’s advice to follow the money and guess what? We discovered it wasn’t really open to all! All kinds of fun!

Let us also remember when he introduced legislation to ensure that the planning commission didn’t hold any political beliefs. We dug around a little and found out this was directed at Bob and Carole because he didn’t like something he saw on Facebook! Oh the petty dramas we’ve seen on Facebook this year!

What he will be most remembered for is launching his miserably failed write-in campaign! Sour grapes anyone?

It’s difficult to narrow down the list for Kirby as he gave us way too much material to work with. What we will remember most is his alternative budgets he would write every year. Budgets he had no authority to write, which often made no sense, and just wound up wasting everyone’s time. Go ahead and click here and here.

Kirby’s thrown a lot of online hissy fits, but besides the time he made national news when he threatened to sue a reporter over using his name, our second favorite has to be when he refused to donate to the Catoctin athletic department because he couldn’t grab up all the county contracts. Way to keep it classy!

Kirby also has trouble distinguishing dictatorships from a democratically elected executive office! We will never forget the lesson plan we put together to help him distinguish the difference!

In more recent news, Kirby was NOT happy that he lost in the Republican primary for CE. And he wasn’t going down quietly. He specifically charged Danny Farrar with high crimes and misdemeanors for daring to campaign with Regina Williams. He also called a private citizen a POS for daring to go against him. Even the High Sheriff got called out! If you missed it, it is a MUST see.

No Kirby countdown is complete without mention of the flowchart. It is truly the greatest thing we’ve ever seen. When it first came to your Lady Yokel’s attention, we were gasping for air trying to breathe. All these years later it still brings a smile to our face.

16252123_10209369588214219_7315849600476474463_o — We just had to put it here as well! Jessica still has not answered these charges against her! LOLOLOLOL!

Oh Billy, Billy, Billy. The most ineffectual of all of our first county council members. What he’ll probably most be remembered for is for his uncreative use of the word ABSTAIN. Billy thought since they didn’t have their own budget whisperer (despite them having the entire county budget department available to answer any questions) he could just take the next four years off. We still find it amusing that the person he and Kirby wanted as their budget person ran against Kirby in the CE primary, and according to Kirby ruined everything for him. The drama of Frederick County politics! You never know when someone is going to turn against ya!

There was a whole bunch of wedding venue drama associated with Billy. He didn’t care if a structure was deemed unsafe by the Fire Marshall and could have potentially killed a bunch of high school kids. He didn’t care if the people operating said wedding venue had the proper permits or if they even asked the people who actually owned the land if they could host weddings and parties. NONE of that mattered to him. It was quite a sight to behold, watching him trying to rationalize all this nonsense.

Billy’s rude behavior was a constant thorn in our side. He’s adopted the Trump way of speaking because : 1. He can’t think for himself, and 2. He reacts in anger when he doesn’t understand what is going on. Which was quite often. Here’s an example of when Billy took that anger out on one of our favorite county employees, Lori Depies.

Let us not forget when Billy lost his keys, couldn’t have his coveted parking space, and accused Bud Otis of telling him to “get on his knees”. This caused Billy to threaten to file a sexual harassment complaint! He then said if this was appropriate language then he was going to start using it on the dais! As though he was holding himself back!

What we will most remember about ~~good~~ ole Billy Shreve is the time he told the world that there are people on both sides of the human trafficking issue. He then proceeded to vote against every human trafficking bill that came before the council. Really folks, what kind of person votes against trying to stop human trafficking?

Screen Shot 2018-06-26 at 11.02.33 PM — The kind that gets his ass handed to him in a primary election!

We’ll see how much we have to say with the new council. Things are looking pretty sane so far. Thank y’all for paying attention and voting these jokers out. We don’t need this type of legislating in our fine county!

parting-is-such-sweet-sorrow-false — Not this time!

Hydrate, people!

October 23, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

We hope you have a big jug of water by your side all day today. Drink often. You’ll need to be fully hydrated ahead of tonight’s meeting. Grab your agenda and get ready for what could be a long one.

First up are two budget items. If Billy continues to gripe about not having enough staff before abstaining on his vote, swig back a bitchy bellini.

Next up are approval of minutes and an appointment confirmation. This will be followed by public hearing on the proposed sale of a county owned building. Serve yourself a Harvey Wallbanger just because.

Three Third Readings are on the agenda next. They all involve human trafficking. When short timer and “both sides” council member Shreve says anything dumb mix yourself a man of war.

It’s break time! Hydrate with more water. Your liver needs it.

First up after the break are several public hearings. Things could get testy. Steel your nerves with a bourbon pumpkin smash. Tony is up first with his perhaps personal vendetta led impartiality bill. Next up are some high adjustments to the fy2019 budget. This would move up the Oakdale Middle School addition, move up the design approval for a new east county elementary school, and move up the modernization/addition project at Brunswick High School. Drink an appletini to celebrate if all 3 are approved.

Last up for discussion is a budget item which involves lots of wins for fire/safety in Frederick County. Celebrate with a fire engine.

The meeting will end with council member comments. We are sure we won’t even care what Shrevelauter have to say. Best to return to drinking water. Don’t you have to adult tomorrow???

7f35d2999fe06275c57b1f4cd12d3fc3--drinking-memes-beer-bottles — Go to work!

Lost in the woods: decisions, decisions, decisons edition

October 9, 2018October 9, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Your council thingy for today. Billy Shreve has a proposal. (Isn’t that the beginning of a spooky campfire tale?) Well, here, we were going to transcribe it, but have a screen grab for efficiency:

We are not “a lawyer”, but how does the County legislate the State? If the thing we think is a thing is a thing, chug a 40.

READER UPDATE: Anne Hicks (thank you, Anne!) points out that Billy wants these residences to be edible! Dipped in sewer sauce. YUM.

Next decision is whether or not the preferred bureaucracy gets to oversee a photovoltaic (that’s solar, yo) array at the Ballenger-McKinney wastewater treatment plant. This is for reasons of red tape and red tape minimization specifically. Billy will whine impertinently, because whining ~~about solar~~ is one of his hobbies, ranked just after rollerblading and growing out that mullet-tail. If we are also right about who whines here…do nothing. Because a serious horror show is coming, and you will want to be in top form for…

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. 6 proposed amendments to the Act to Adjust School Construction Fees.

Goodnight, and good luck. We will all be at soccer. Let us know who/what gets tossed in the wood chipper or whatever.

Pumpkin spice everything! It’s your October 2nd drinking game!

October 2, 2018October 2, 2018 fclocalyokelLeave a comment

20180926_132054 — Hope you survived Oktoberfest!

Grab your agenda, it’s time to continue our countdown to bye bye Shrelauter time. This week’s meeting starts with an EMS budget adjustment. We expect Billy will go ahead and abstain so slam back your favorite pumpkin flavored beer as a nod to Oktoberfest time.

Next up are a few executive appointments, and discussion of new business. Hydrate with some plain ole iced tea. The next section could get bumpy, and you need your wits about you to follow along.

It’s the third reading time for Adequate Public Facilities, adjustment of school construction fees. We know that this is a very important issue. Let’s hope common sense prevails here. Swing back a teacher’s aid. You’ll need it either way.

Break, and we resume with four public hearings. Two of these are by our short timer council members Shreve and Chmelik so we anticipate some whining and grand standing.

End with an extra stormy dark and stormy to match your mood after having to sit through council member comments.

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