Hyperbolic happy fun time…Billy vaporizes the English language.

Not sure Sweetums. Sorry you had to be exposed to this!
Not sure Sweetums. Sorry you had to be exposed to this!

So Billy’s wordsmithing again. We know, we know, you don’t want to look. We’ll try to sum it up as nicely as we can. But it is always helpful to see the words first hand. A friend of the Yokel recently told us that the best strategy is to hand the idiot the microphone and let them do their thing.

Before we get into the breakdown, besides Kirby, does any other elected official go around writing terrible things about their co-workers? Seriously folks, is this a thing anywhere else? Or are we just special here in Frederick County? We sure as hell know that in any other workplace situation this type of behavior would be grounds for dismissal. He doesn’t just argue points of disagreement he says things like this:

Frederick County is being ruled, not governed. Is this what you wanted when you voted for Charter Government? One person rules the County? Bud Otis has allowed the County Council to be diminished to vapor. Bud is being lead around like a trained monkey by the Democrats.

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You know, we here at the Yokel are feeling generous today so we are going to try and help Billy out. Instead of of saying the county council has been vaporized and Bud is being led around like a trained monkey, perhaps something like this:

“I have some real concerns that the county council has not had enough input on the budget process. I also feel as though President Otis is not listening to my concerns. Perhaps we can set up a time and talk about this like grown men? How about next Tuesday at 1:00?” And then Billy, you listen and communicate like the grown up you are suppose to be!

Isn’t that so much nicer? And maybe, just maybe your fellow council members would be more willing to listen to what you have to say. We can imagine that your co-workers and the County Executive may not want to deal with someone who refers to them as tyrants, monarchs, incompetents and primates. But maybe that’s just us.

Let’s continue with the diatribe. Even though Billy has done this budget thingy for 5 years he still can’t get it. Despite the others talking with the head of every department and the budget director (who seems like a very knowledgeable and friendly fellow who has yet to be jaded by Billy’s antics) offering his help and advice at every step of the way, it’s not enough. So Billy tries to disparage his fellow council members (sans two of course):

Your tax dollars, $550 million of them controlled and approved by a history teacher, music teacher, PTA activist, and former Washington bureaucrat. None of them are qualified to review a $550 million budget, none of them CPA’s, none of them with any previous budget experience.

What do you do exactly Billy? How many people in our U.S. Congress are CPAs? Or what about in the State House? Good Lord, grasping at straws. If he feels, after 5 years of doing this, that he still can’t get it, then maybe, just maybe it’s time to admit this isn’t the job for him.

The end goes like this:

Bud Otis did make one budget request this year…. He wants a security detail for himself. He calls it executive protection. The comments on his Facebook page, your calls and emails.… He wants protection.

We looked through the budget and could find no such request. And if Bud does feel like he needs protection, we bet it’s for good reason. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that Bud has been receiving threats and at times may feel unsafe. And IF that is the case, Council Member Shreve, perhaps you share some responsibility in that.

Billy is going to bend the county council procedures to his whims!! Your April 26th county council workshop edition.

Zeus give us strength!
Zeus give us strength!

Continue reading “Billy is going to bend the county council procedures to his whims!! Your April 26th county council workshop edition.”

Billy says his world is great, and has Kirby been audited? Your April 19th roundup-Part 1!

Thank Zeus on his high mountain that tonight’s meeting has been divided into two parts! We need the break!  Now on to our fine reporting.

Billy’s no where to be found, ran in late. So Kirby had the sole job of objecting to budget transfers. His issue? We have no proof that the bay can be saved by trees and stuff. We’ve heard this before. Science isn’t his thing. Passes and  we moved on.

Installment Purchase Program Easements get no objections. Even talk to what a fine program it is. Protecting our agricultural land!

It seems like the budget season gets the tempers a flarin’! We are going to go back to our budget posts of a year ago to see how much of the rhetoric is the same. We predict A LOT. Tony, Billy and Kirby want the constant yield to be called a tax raise, all M.C. wants to do is take a vote to have a hearing on this issue so the public can discuss. How dare she interrupt their grandstanding? Billy informs us that we should all come into his world, it’s nice there he says.

We'll pass!
We’ll pass!

Tony wants an answer as to whether or not the hearing equates to increasing the constant yield. Exasperated lawyer says this question should have been asked before the meeting so they could research the answer. Jerry then points out two of the members were on the BOCC, so shouldn’t they know the answer to that? What’s that Kirby and Billy?:

FieldCricket

The hearing will be on May 3 for those of you who are interested.

Now, fellow Yokels, in all seriousness we are concerned about Kirby. Has he been audited? Because we remember commending him for voting against the Trout Run historical designation way back when. But tonight he’s singing a different tune. When the resolution, which is essentially the answer to Social Betterment’s lawsuit, was presented he voted no. No explanation just no. Billy wanted to know if he really had to vote for it at all since he was the lone wolf on the original vote, to which he was informed he in fact did.

We do really hope this hasn’t happened to Kirby:

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We end with a nice presentation  on a Maryland Development Block Grant. Meeting reconvenes at 7:00 for a public hearing on the budget.

 

New fun time: Council meeting bingo

We thought we’d mix it up a little this week. Here’s your agenda. In case you do feel compelled to drink at any point, we’ll recommend you toss back an Alien Secretion and encourage Xenu to scamper on outta here.

 

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Click on image to open in a separate tab for printing!

 

Can we have a positive track in Frederick County?

Well, we’re off the rails here. Some of our council members threw us for a loop at the April 5th council meeting. For the most part, the theme of the meeting was, “All Aboard!” Most notably, Tony Chmelik was so agreeable (as we discussed in our other post about the weirdness of the meeting) that he just couldn’t wait to vote in favor of things he has been railing against for months. Not just that, though. He actually seemed jovial. Not sure what’s going on with him. To be fair, he has never had Billy and Kirby’s combative style or disrespectful tone, he just gets oddly passionate about stuff that seems very much at odds with his constituency.

Word to the wise.
Word to the wise.

Which leads us to our further astonishment. Usually the portion of the meeting in which council members make comment leads us into the dark tunnels of their minds. This is especially true when Billy and Kirby have something gnawing at them. Nothing happened! Our brains wrestled around hard with the fact that Billy seemed to have some thoughtful and interesting comments about handling our county’s pressing drug addiction problems, and highlighted first responders’ use of Narcan inhalers. Just recalling it, our jaws begin to hang slack in amazement. Nary a crazy train in sight. If they keep this up, we won’t have anything to say. We, ladies and gentlemen of the county, are not really sure what to hope for! We’ve become kinda fond of our little blogging hobby based on the wacko birds.

We continue to be grateful to Bud Otis. It was no surprise that he was thoughtful and used his position to give voice to the issues members of our community are dealing with. He has proven time and again to be the picture of dignity and positivity. His comments regarding the struggles of servers relying on tips for their income were thoughtful and inspiring. He also spoke eloquently of the needs of FCPS school students who are experiencing homelessness. He highlighted the work of a partnership running the New Horizons program so that these students have constructive activities and a good environment throughout the summer months. There is a gofundme campaign to help meet the financial needs of the program, if you are able to lend a hand.

What the hell happened? Your April 5th council meeting roundup!

Change3_t

 

Life is all about change. Humans, in order to survive and thrive, must be adaptable to change.  If not, you end up denying indisputable climate data and supporting a candidate that promises to make everything great again. So we here at the Yokel want to be adaptable. We don’t want to end up stockpiling canned goods and squatting on National Wildlife preserves. We really don’t! That’s why we want to accept all of the changes we saw at the meeting last night no matter how hard that may be.

First we’ll start with someone who could use a bit of change.

AYE Billy AYE!
AYE Billy AYE!

We’ve done a few posts about Billy’s oppositional defiance disorder.When he can bring himself to vote he never, ever says Aye. Everyone else can do it,  but Billy likes to be a trailblazer. Nobody is going to tell him how to talk,  no sirree Bob. Until Billy sends us a message explaining why he does this we’re going to refer to him as a:

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Next on the agenda is some sewer talk. The two amendments to the code and one out of sequence item concerning sewer hookup to Lewistown were passed with little to no fanfare. Then came the third reading section of the evening.

First off, Jessica tables the bill concerning the changes that can be made to historical designations. Of course Xenu is playing a hand in this. And the FNP article on it acknowledges as much. We here at the Yokel agree with Mark Long’s public comments concerning the Scientologists turning the land over to the park service. Enough is enough. We don’t want a bizarre cult recruitment center thinly disguised as a very ineffective drug treatment center in our neck of the woods.

The next bill was also tabled. This time it was medical cannabis that landed on the cutting room floor. In a separate FNP article we learn:

Keegan-Ayer said after Tuesday’s County Council meeting she didn’t have four votes among the seven council members to approve the bill. In early March, she told The Frederick News-Post she believed a majority of the council supported the legislation.

She said Tuesday that she was aware of concerns among some council members, but declined to elaborate what they were.

“In my opinion, they were not based on fact,” Keegan-Ayer said of the concerns.

What’s that you say?! Some council members hold opinions that aren’t based on facts? When did this start? Oh that’s right December 1, 2014.  Come on people, enough craziness about marijuana. There’s even been research suggesting that we may not have the opioid/heroine addiction problems if Nixon hadn’t made everyone so cuckoo over marijuana and let it be researched as a pain management drug. Let’s all operate in the real world..please!!!

Now we come to the part of the meeting that still has us scratching our watches and winding our butts. Remember a few weeks back when Councilman Chemlik was all so against the impact fees?  We recall a long soliloquy in defense of our poor, downtrodden developers. Fast forward to last night and oh how things have changed. We like the change, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t want an explanation! Tony is now for both of these fees! He was so very excited to vote for them that he screamed Aye into his microphone before the vote had even been taken. We would like to accept his vote and move on, but we can’t.  What the hell happened?

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Let’s take a break from the hard stuff-Your March 8th drinking game.

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Whew! With all of  the meetings lately and St. Patrick’s Day coming up,we are going to go with an non-alcoholic version this week. Before you revolt, remember you can always add some Fireball, Vodka or whatever your poison happens to be.  We’re just trying to look out for y’all. Grab your agenda and follow along.

This is soooo boring we know. But if Billy abstains from the consent agenda, again, mix yourself up a Banana Bonkers.

The next item is to just change around some dates for the bargaining for the Fire and Rescue union.  Our First Responders’ unions are rarely met with the same vitriol that other unions face. But if someone uses this as an opportunity to go all anti-union on us slam back The Ghoul’s Green Drink.

Now it’s time for the public hearing on medical cannabis. We here at the yokel are for this. If there’s any talk about everyone turning into pot heads, sip gently on your Lean Green Smoothie.

All that’s left is public and council member comments. It’s the part of the evening where we usually get into trouble. So if you feel the need to pull out the booze we won’t judge.

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Billy drops “f” bomb in workshop!!!!

It couldn't have ANYTHING to do with him, could it?
It couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with him, could it?

 

Howdy Yokels!! We’ll get back to our title in a moment.

Last night’s workshop had three items to discuss; Medical Marijuana, Kirby and Tony’s task force, and changes to the council’s rules and procedures.

We are all for the growth and use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.  It is absolutely ludicrous that the Federal Government still considers marijuana to be a schedule 1 drug.  Ludicrous.  M.C. was the star tonight and had lots of good facts as to the research and uses of cannabis.  For example, there is a possibility that cannabis could be used as an alternative to opioids for pain management. If you still need to be convinced hop on over to this website and watch some of these movies. Let’ s not let Richard Nixon era craziness cloud our views on the benefits of this drug.

Next up is some very confusing talk about the creation of a task force to discuss this lease back idea of building schools.  Tony wants to go to Jan with the full support of the council. There’s some discussion as to why this needs to be done since Jan has already agreed to look into it. And Tony thinks its “very unfortunate” that anyone would think that this task force would be perceived as being against what the County Executive is trying to accomplish. Now why in the world would anyone think that Tony and Kirby would do anything to undermine Jan?

INCONCEIVABLE

Now, for the juicy stuff. The council members want to change some of their rules and procedures. This is where Billy gets really testy. He wants a break!!! Right now!!! Bud takes a little longer than Billy cares to wait and you can clearly hear him drop the “mother of all words” and storm out.

Just  cue up the video and go to the second hour and 29 minutes in ( 2:29) and enjoy! You may also want to click on the procedures to see the changes that Billy wants. Basically he wants to be able to talk all the time about whatever he wants. He doesn’t have the support of his fellow members. In fact, he and Tony have a nice little back and forth over all of this. But the pinnacle of irony for us is when Billy proclaims:

We don’t communicate very effectively.

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Special Alert: Billy wants to hand all county taxing power over to Annapolis delegation!

Alright, we'll give you two.
Alright, we’ll give you two.

It’s very possible that we’ve broken Billy. Maybe it was those long, cold, lonely walks from the Church Street parking garage. Or perhaps, it was the endless scratching upon the windows of Winchester Hall for someone, anyone, to let him in. For we know not what to make of what happened here this evening.

Our frustration was at top peak at the start, for we know not how long this pervasive strategy to do nothing will go on:

Agenda vote-NO

Budget transfers-Abstain

Minutes-Abstain

Then old Billy boy wants to be a part of stuff and decides to vote Yes on appointments. Not the proper AYE mind you, he’s not going down without a fight. (Why does it feel as though we have written these exact words at least twenty times now?)

Now we’ve come to the part where we think all the stress may be getting to Billy. You see our legislators in Annapolis have decided to strip the county council’s ability to change the hotel tax. Some of the county council members were upset about local control being swept away, but not Billy. These words came out of his mouth:

I support the delegation taking all taxing ability away from this council.

You see Billy is a self proclaimed “big picture kind of guy” who sees the “end results”. So logically, he will vote to allow the delegation to take local taxing ability away because he doesn’t like one particular bill. That’s a mighty big picture there. There’s also some confusion about voting to vote on allowing Bud to speak on this issue, and Jessica has to tell Billy not to vote against his own motion. However, when it came time for the actual motion, Billy was left flapping out all alone.  But not before he got one more zinger in aimed at Bud:

I would not have you speak on behalf of the council or for me in general.

What a hero. Good luck in Annapolis Mr. Otis.

How our hearts soared when we thought tonight would be the night this ethics nonsense would be put to rest. But curse you mystery letter sent in to the council at 3:00 this afternoon. The ghost of Antonin Scalia must have had something to do with this because all Kirby would allude to was that it was “unconstitutional”. We get a little more information from Councilmember Donald when he says its mostly the same old stuff again with the Kirby profiting from the county until  2018 clause  still alive and well. And Sweet Sappho, Billy doesn’t even have the letter. So we must postpone!!! We disagree here, Billy should read what he’s given and Kirby doesn’t get to wait until the last hour to obstruct things. He’s had plenty of time. But alas, it is done. Another week…another dead horse.

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Let’s lay off the hard liquor -Your February 2nd guide to the County Council meeting

It's Unamerican I tell ya!
It’s Unamerican I tell ya!

For this month’s meeting we are going to lay off the hard liquor and only offer wine and beer options. Make sure you grab your agenda and please remember this game  is only for entertainment purposes. We hear that  Billy isn’t taking any more calls.

Right out of the gate there is a budget transfer for the Department of Aging. And oh yawn, Billy will say something about Aurora’s hurt feelings and how Jan is going to take everyone’s land away. When he does slam back An Arrogant Bastard.

Next it’s time to sign the Ordinance allowing Ourisman Chevorlet to expand their dealership. There’s already been lots of discussion and a vote. So if any last minute shenanigans rear their ugly heads, have a little sip of some Le Vin De La Merde.  ( Billy would be happy to translate for you)

Uh-oh, Union talk. However, when the union applies to the Fire department it’s not met with the same vitriol as let’s say…the teacher’s union. All this bill wants to do is lengthen the amount of time the union has to bargain. If any, and we mean any, anti-union talk makes it in to this discussion, go ahead and have yourself a Blind Pig. Since you would have to be one to not see all the benefits of an organized work force.

What’s this? Emperor Jan wants her minion Bud to be able to approve budget transfers under these very specific conditions:

  • 1-8-31. COUNCIL PRESIDENT APPROVAL OF CERTAIN TRANSFERS OF UNENCUMBERED APPROPRIATIONS.

(A) The County Council authorizes the President of the County Council to approve, on behalf of the County Council, a transfer of an unencumbered appropriation that:

(l) The County Executive has recommended;

  • Is between departments, agencies and offices•
  • Is within the same fund in the Operating Budget: and
  • Transfers $10,000 or less.

 If the County Council President, in the President’s sole discretion, does not approve the transfer of the unencumbered appropriation, the County Council may consider and approve the transfer.

Venus have mercy on our souls!!!! We just know there is going to be quite a bit of lively discussion about how Bud is just a rubber stamp to the capricious whims of Bloody Jan. So when this all too predictable mess begins get your six pack of Red Emperor.

As if all of the above wasn’t enough, we are back to ethics. One would hope, that by now, Kirby would come to some kind of peace with this. That he will stop turning bright red and stammering on about the teacher’s conflict of interest and just generally looking like a crazy person. So WHEN this happens pass around a bottle of Pure Arrogance.

Whew! This week is rough! Now on for special exceptions for historical structures. Here comes the Trout Run talk out of Billy! Time to beer bong the Cult of the Occult!

Now it’s time for Public Comment and those troublesome (at least for some) council member comments. This has been a busy evening so save yourself the hangover and have some water while you listen to the informative ramblings.