Frederick County is a mysterious place this week!

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I bet we can solve this in 30 minutes or less!
I bet we can solve this in 30 minutes or less!

Quite the intrigue here in Frederick this week! First we had Kirby’s declarations of unconstitutionality concerning his sad, lost county contracts. Now, at last night’s joint BOE meeting, we learned that Kirby has a mysterious developer all ready to finance one of the two needed county elementary schools.

Why the mystery you may be asking? Well, just shut up!!! Kirby has his reasons!!! He won’t tell us, but why should he? It couldn’t be because there are some pretty outlandish conditions associated with this, could it?

What we learned from watching, and today’s FNP article, is that this all has the smell of back door school privatization. Not only would this school be leased back to the county, which has been been a bad deal throughout the land…Well, just look:

 Cost savings may also come from custodial and maintenance operations being handled by the private sector, the councilmen said.

So here we go again! Remember all this privatization crap when Blaine came into office? Now, Tony and Kirby invite it to rear it’s ugly head once again.  Here’s a great quote from an NEA analysis on privatizing school support services:

There is less accountability to the residents of a school district by their elected representatives when vital services are taken over by private contractors. Contractors tend to focus on performing only the tasks contained in their work descriptions, which is understandable because they are hired only to perform specific narrowly defined jobs.

By contrast, school district employees tend to view themselves as a vital part of the system of education, and provide numerous “intangibles” that enhance the quality of their work and the educational experience of children in school.

School district employees routinely perform a range of tasks that are not typically thought of as being in their official job descriptions but that are vitally important in providing a high quality education for children. [i] The great majority of educational support workers live in the school district where they are employed, and they feel responsible to their neighbors for the quality of their work.

Most private contractors base their sales pitch on the premise that they can provide the same or greater service at lower cost

Here’s the full NEA article and a great point sheet about the risks involved in such an endeavor.

Kirby and Tony cannot treat the school system as they do their contracting and excavating  businesses. It’s not the same on any level. Our children are not commodities that can be moved around on a spreadsheet. They are unique human beings  with a variety of talents and needs. And quite frankly, if we don’t get this part of their lives right and educate them properly, then we as a society will feel the repercussions for years to come. We must not allow the promise of a badly needed school lead us down a path of high costs, poor services and low wages. For this low wage, low cost thinking that has led to the elimination of many middle class jobs in this country.

We do need good discussion and solutions as to how to finance not only these two schools, but schools that will be needed down the road. It will have to be a combination of private and public funds and it must be a priority. It should not be a back door dismantling of our public education system all in the guise of saving money. We cannot let these gentlemen get away with that!

As for who the developer is, we really have no idea. But that is not going to stop us from speculating wildly and naming Roy Stanley. Should we start a pool?

 

Kirby’s mystery letter revealed…the State of our Union is in jeopardy.

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zcm4l

If you watched last evening’s council meeting, it was unearthed that civil rights activist and constitutional scholar Kirby submitted a last minute bombshell legal brief. Using Reconstruction Era Fourteenth Amendment his magical attorney explains the unconstitutional nature of the county ethics ordinance that would deprive Kirby and his relatives from benefiting from his seat on the County Council.

It was all very hush, hush. However,  since Kirby encouraged all Frederick County business owners to take a lookie, we just had to take him up on it. It seems like a bunch of horse doody.

The shocking part of this whole ethics ordinance is that in trying to keep our county government open and transparent we have violated the U.S. Constitution. At least that’s what this letter would have us believe.  Allegedly this ordinance is so “vague” that it really taxes people of “common intelligence” to figure it all out. Therefore, the great 14th amendment, designed to help protect former slaves from having their rights trounced upon, has been lit on fire. How can Kirby possibly stop all his relatives from storming Winchester Hall signing up for contracts and thereby risking his freedom? It is way too hard to figure out how to stop that from happening. Therefore, Kirby should get his contracts. Seriously folks, one and a half hours before the vote Kirby submits this? We’ve been talking about this for a whole year now. But I guess since all the tantrums, dead horse beating, and whining didn’t work this is what we are left with?

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Neil is judging you!

Psst. Also, this is not about Kirby or his very own law anymore. He is both the most special of snowflakes and yet through some kooky oxymoron is also completely self effacing. Just thinking of future businessmen who may heed the noble call of public service. Hopefully this all gets put to rest next week. Enough is enough already.

BOE/County Council: Special Two-Fer in One Week Drinking Game

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Hopefully Tuesday night wasn’t too painful, because Wednesday’s Board of Education/Council meeting looks, uh…promising. From a drinking standpoint, anyway.

Glance at the agenda and you’ll see what we mean. There’s a history of bad behavior with some of these characters. And for those who didn’t click through, Billy Shreve wants to add 5th grade to middle school and/or get a bulk purchase discount on construction of two elementary schools. But do they honor triple coupons if you sign the contract on Sunday?

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So the rules are simple. Just follow ’em. (Responsibly, young man or lady. We’ve got our eyes on you.)

Whenever someone tells Tony Chmelik he needs to stop talking drink 2x.

Billy again cites an inability to do those pesky word problems that “nobody likes,” raise your glass and shout, “Life is a word problem!” Finish your drink.

When Tony questions arithmetic computations of the Board of Education that he finds inconvenient to his wishes, drink 1x.

The canyon-like gulf in development between a 10 year old and a 14 year old is mentioned and/or a sentient adult reminds us: middle school SUX, drink 2x.

When Billy presents a half-baked idea with no evidence of prior history of future likelihood of occurring, whisper “hot dog stand” into your glass and take as many sips as you need.

When Kirby mentions the ideas he wrote about in the Tentacle,  pour yourself a double. Of anything.  And then have another double. Because,  seriously,  how can anyone take that as a serious solution?

 

 

Special Alert: Billy wants to hand all county taxing power over to Annapolis delegation!

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Alright, we'll give you two.
Alright, we’ll give you two.

It’s very possible that we’ve broken Billy. Maybe it was those long, cold, lonely walks from the Church Street parking garage. Or perhaps, it was the endless scratching upon the windows of Winchester Hall for someone, anyone, to let him in. For we know not what to make of what happened here this evening.

Our frustration was at top peak at the start, for we know not how long this pervasive strategy to do nothing will go on:

Agenda vote-NO

Budget transfers-Abstain

Minutes-Abstain

Then old Billy boy wants to be a part of stuff and decides to vote Yes on appointments. Not the proper AYE mind you, he’s not going down without a fight. (Why does it feel as though we have written these exact words at least twenty times now?)

Now we’ve come to the part where we think all the stress may be getting to Billy. You see our legislators in Annapolis have decided to strip the county council’s ability to change the hotel tax. Some of the county council members were upset about local control being swept away, but not Billy. These words came out of his mouth:

I support the delegation taking all taxing ability away from this council.

You see Billy is a self proclaimed “big picture kind of guy” who sees the “end results”. So logically, he will vote to allow the delegation to take local taxing ability away because he doesn’t like one particular bill. That’s a mighty big picture there. There’s also some confusion about voting to vote on allowing Bud to speak on this issue, and Jessica has to tell Billy not to vote against his own motion. However, when it came time for the actual motion, Billy was left flapping out all alone.  But not before he got one more zinger in aimed at Bud:

I would not have you speak on behalf of the council or for me in general.

What a hero. Good luck in Annapolis Mr. Otis.

How our hearts soared when we thought tonight would be the night this ethics nonsense would be put to rest. But curse you mystery letter sent in to the council at 3:00 this afternoon. The ghost of Antonin Scalia must have had something to do with this because all Kirby would allude to was that it was “unconstitutional”. We get a little more information from Councilmember Donald when he says its mostly the same old stuff again with the Kirby profiting from the county until  2018 clause  still alive and well. And Sweet Sappho, Billy doesn’t even have the letter. So we must postpone!!! We disagree here, Billy should read what he’s given and Kirby doesn’t get to wait until the last hour to obstruct things. He’s had plenty of time. But alas, it is done. Another week…another dead horse.

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Post President’s Day drinking game-Get your shot glasses ready!

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Busy week here in the county!!! First off we have a regular legislative day on the 16th and then a joint BOE meeting on the 17th. The agenda looks juicy, so grab it here and play  with caution. No alcohol poisoning.  We need all the Yokels we can get in this upcoming election season!

Budget transfers have been going pretty well lately. However, the library is on the list this week! And you know how thoughts of reading and learning really get some of our councilmen in a tizzy. Slam back an Attitude Adjustment if you hear any negative thoughts about the fancy learning that the libraries afford us. We can dream that change can happen, can’t we?!

Next up are appointments. If anyone decides to take to behave like a U.S. Senator threatening to block a Supreme Court justice, shoot back two, yes two glassfuls of  Four Horsemen.

Look how happy Billy is with his prop! Photo: Bill Green, FNP.
Look how happy Billy is with his prop! Photo: Bill Green, FNP.

Time to discuss deer hunting and crop damage. Should be interesting.  Not sure where to take this one, so just sip upon your  Ratty Ol’Deer Head whenever you hear the word deer.

Great Helena, Zeus, Poseidon, and Sappho please hear all of our combined cries for mercy!!!!! It’s time for the dead horse ethics discussion. There just isn’t any way that we will get through this without any nonsense, is there? No Kirby you cannot profit off the county until 2018!!! And no more teacher/BOE conflict of interest talk!! NONE!!! Set up a row of Cement Kickers and drink as much as you need to calm your nerves!!

Maybe we will get lucky and Gumption the Dragon will make another appearance at tonight’s meeting. She’s really keen on the Narconon and really, really hates this special exception bill. If we are lucky enough to spot this local celebrity, treat yourself to some Dragon’s blood.

Let’s just lump impact fees and school construction into one category shall we?  If Kirby makes the big reveal about how he’s going to single-handily fix our education problems mix up some Too Cool for School, since we suspect his plan has something to do with dismantling public education.

 

Award winning council members also attended this week’s council workshop

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That workshop was something to behold. As we try to figure out how to adjust our Adequate Public Facilities Ordinance so the schools aren’t so crowded, our major characters were relegated to supporting roles. Tony Chmelik took his soliloquy a bit too seriously. As we have previously noted, Chmelik could not provide us the courtesy of making any damn sense.

A couple of high points. Runner up for the “Best-Calling-Out-of-a-Smarmy-(but-Exceptionally-Loquacious) A$$ Award” goes to Councilmember Shreve for blasting into his microphone at Chmelik: NO. You cannot interject! You’ve done nothing but interject for 50 minutes!

We do love when someone up on the dais says exactly what we are thinking.

We have to promptly dissolve this alliance with Shreve, though, because he wants to shuffle the grades around. Maybe send some fifth graders to middle school, maybe some middle schoolers to high school, they aren’t crowded, etc. Whatevz. It’s hard to get good education policy enacted from experts in pedagogy and child development. Please tell us we won’t be entertaining harebrained schemes introduced by part time council act who does not have a child, but still acts like one himself.

As a warm up, Jessica Fitzwater laughingly acknowledged  that Tony is never quick, when he pleaded for a couple of quick questions.

But the true heroism comes in when Ms. Fitzwater activates her superpower (that’s teacher voice) to get errant pupil Kirby Delauter back on track. He is disrupting the group by alluding to plans to solve school overcrowding (mysteriously, he cannot reveal any plans at the present time; he didn’t do the homework). Just at the moment we are saying, “Plans? What plans? We haven’t heard any plans?” Ms. Fitzwater seizes the teachable moment. The protocol for revealing one’s plans for the county is not The Tentacle.  Much like a soliloquy–speaking to oneself without regard to the audience–it seems as though that website is not actually a recognized forum. More like a safety deposit box for nonsense (because these “ideas” Kirby has published so far are batpoo crazy). So it sounds like The Tentacle does not write legislation or even agendas for the Frederick County Council. Who? Knew?  (????) And we are all like, “Nailed it!!!!” For bonus points: #KirbyDelauter was irritated, because he knows that they can’t retroactively place impact fees on Spring Ridge (or anywhere else) because there is no legal leverage to do this thing that was an idea originating from his own dim dome, so “they are wasting time…[discussing his stupid idea].”

GRRL!
RIOT GRRL!

We simply cannot wait to hear of the plan to address this that # and Tony Chmelik are percolating this week.  It’s probably either send wishes to a fairy godmother or online schooling. Both seem about as reality based.

 

February 9th workshop on mitigation fees OR Tony’s chance to shine? Take your pick.

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As we embarked upon the 2 hour and 2 minute video of this workshop, we already had some idea of what we were in for. Our good friends at Stand Up Frederick and RALE did some posts that we read with great interest. Still, we were not prepared for the  soliloquy from this guy:

Over half the meeting was just him!
Over half the meeting was just him!

 

And we know, that this is a very painful meeting to endure. But, we can not underscore the importance of suffering through it,  just to completely see just how much more Tony is worried about the building industry than he is about adequate school funding.

In a feeble attempt to show how the current formula to calculate enrollment is oh so wrong,  he pulls out birth data from 1954. The year we think he must still live in. Does he have an alternative way to calculate how many kids may need schooling from a proposed development? Of course not.  He does know that only childless Millenniums and retirees are going to rent those new apartments in Urbana. So maybe he is in possession of some kind of crystal ball magic that the rest of us can’t access.

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This is how sorry we feel. For the builders.

Tony throws out so many numbers and questions every calculation. He is so confused and wants to try to make everyone else confused too! In his own words, he is “harping” because if we don’t look out for the builder, the builder won’t build and then where will we be? Maybe, if we don’t build, we won’t have overcrowded schools? He continues to explain that is our job (the county?, the Council?) to take care of schools, roads, fire safety, but NOT at the expense of the builder!! Not one ounce of concern did we see towards the people he was elected to represent.

We get treated to the term “voo-doo” economics, something we haven’t heard since we were wee little lasses. And man, Tony does not react well to people pushing back against him.  He badgers and uses that condescending tone when, Zeus help them, the county staff cannot find a  good way to answer his inane questions or outlandish accusations that they are not being “genuine” about how much money is coming in. Even Billy had to tell him to keep his trap shut.

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What Councilman Chmelik completely ignored over and over is that the mitigation fee that builder’s have the option to pay, is only an option if the adequate public facilities ordinance is not met. If the AFPO is met, this fee won’t be charged. Even then, they can choose to finance the school for themselves or wait until the county has enough money to build another school.  But it is oh so much fun to go completely ballistic over an optional fund that only finances less than 2% of the total amount of a new facility.  That’s the Tony way.

Historian Chmelik holds lecture on George Washington and 21st century issues. Outrage follows.

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We here at the Yokel are used to council member comments relating to county council business. So it’s a refreshing change when we get to hear a councilman’s religious objections to a proposed State bill.  Change is good, right?!

Tony first treats us to a quote “that struck him”  by George Washington, which he came across:

And let us with caution indulge the supposition, that morality can be maintained without religion. (Whatever may be conceded to the influence of refined education on minds of peculiar structure,)* reason and experience both forbid us to expect, 

*quote in parenthesis left out.

What is all this about, you may ask? Well, State Senator Ron Young’s Death with Dignity Act, of course. To Tony there is nothing dignified about this. Because his family members stuck it out to the very end, none of you people should have the right to make this very personal decision for yourself. (What’s with these guys anyway? Mostly all we hear is government intrusion this, government intrusion that. That is until it comes to the most personal of decisions. Then you better make sure you follow their religious principles.)

Let’s step back to George Washington for a moment, shall we? First of all, the above quote was most likely written by Alexander Hamilton. Washington revised it and even struck out  this line:

does it [national morality] not require the aid of a generally received and divinely authoritative Religion?

Washington’s religious beliefs have been widely debated, and there is no real way to know how he would feel about a bill drafted in 2015. It does not lend your point of view any more credence because you choose a few words from our first President. But hey, if Tony can speculate about Washington’s feelings on modern political issues then we will too!

640px-Life_of_George_Washington,_Deathbed

George Washington had an excruciating last few days of life. Some of it due to his illness and  and a lot of it due to what his doctors did to him. So it leaves us to wonder, after what he went through, would George Washington deny his fellow citizens the right to end their life with dignity? One would think no. We will never know for sure, because he is dead, but it seems to be the fashion to speculate.

Senator Young’s bill is full of safeguards and double and triple checks. It’s truly about the terminally ill being spared the horror of  a painful death. No where in this text does it say that you have to participate in this. It simply gives people who may not see the world in the same way that Tony does, the option to do so.

We wonder if Tony would make one of his beloved dogs have what he calls a dignified death. Or does he listen to the veterinarian when he is told that it would be inhumane to make the poor thing suffer?   If you happen to believe, as we do, that humans should be given the same consideration as a family pet, please email Senator Young at: ronald.young@senate.state.md.us to show your support.