Isn’t it ironic? No it is not.

2016-03-04

Just like a bad Alanis Morisette song, Kirby doesn’t get irony. Let us help:

irony

play

noun iro·ny \ˈī-rə-nē also ˈī(-ə)r-nē\
Popularity: Top 1% of lookups

Simple Definition of irony

  • : the use of words that mean the opposite of what you really think especially in order to be funny

  • : a situation that is strange or funny because things happen in a way that seems to be the opposite of what you expected

Source: http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/irony

Now, we will allow that maybe Kirby thought he was being funny. However, it is in no way, shape, or form ironic that the county passed an ethics ordinance. Even if he didn’t like it it doesn’t mean it’s corrupt.  And this certainly was NOT the opposite of what everyone expected. When can we move on?

irony

 

Ethics Night: better late than never

It’s hard to muster any sense of urgency here, folks. Like congress, thanks to the local obstruction, we remain mired in the same ol’, same ol’.

Tony Chmelik (R-odeo Clown) showed up last evening with a series of just in under the wire amendments to put forth on behalf of his buddy #KirbyDelauter, likely meant to turn the evening’s process to quicksand and possibly drum up some loopholes for the developer class that he represents. His latest hand wringing by proxy over the ethics ordinance (which passed, by the way) on top of his constant agonizing over the alleged persecution of builders who only want to build where schools are too crowded are awfully revealing. Obviously if a mitigation fee that may add $3 a month to a mortgage of several hundred thousand is such a burden, he could not make it more obvious that he is not representing his constituents. At least, not any who have school kids or drive on roads. It seems logical that six amendments should not be randomly appearing moments before third readings instead of during legislative workshops. We’ve been (as we have bored ourselves to tears saying) beating this same dead horse for a year now. sheesh.

Where's Kirby?
Where’s Kirby?

Last minute shenanigans. We hope this is not going to be the new normal round these parts. At the last of these bake sales it was Kirby Delauter with his constitutional law farce. Kirby, as previously noted by your Local Yokel correspondents, was nowhere to be seen yestereve, in spite of us listening to him bellyache about the ethics ordinance for the past year. He’s busy vacationing in Floriduh. Let’s hope he is house hunting. Maybe they want him.

Indulge your local ladies in a moment of sheer fantasy; please let Kirby be moving to Florida to see if he can get equal protection under the law (hahaha) er, uh, county contracts.
Indulge the local ladies in a moment of sheer fantasy; please let Kirby be moving to Florida to see if he can get equal protection under the law (hahaha) er, uh, county contracts in a county far, far away from here.

Where’s Kirby?

image

We will have more to say on tonight’s meeting in a later post.  We just couldn’t wait to ask: Where the hell is Kirby? How could he not show up on Ethics night? Why would he bail on the impact fees? Should we be worried?  If you would like to speculate as to his whereabouts, feel free to leave a comment.

Frederick County Board of Elections Wants You!

Hello there, yokels!

We are looking at the following smorgasbord of candidates:

  • The 3 Stooges
  • two mild-mannered, possibly human people who have varying degrees of success at keeping their wacky stuff tucked in
  • a–gasp! is America ready for the most (mostly unfairly) vilified woman in America?
  • and a Democratic Socialist!!! (hey, that may not be as “Un-American” as you think; check it out whydontcha?)

Having all these nuts and a bag of chips running for president means that voter turnout is expected to be high during this election cycle. And, it better be, people. Do not drop the ball on your civic duty. 

Looks about right.
Looks about right.

The Frederick County Board of Elections is looking for election judges. This is a paid position and offers you the opportunity to help democracy in action. See how the process really works behind the scenes. No one at the yokel is affiliated with the Board of Elections, but we caught wind that they still would like to find about 100 people who can work for early voting in the primaries. You can find them on Facebook as well, and they have cool stuff going on. Like you can check out the new voting machines in a video.

Frederick County Wants You!

Oh, and guess what. The League of Women Voters has a nifty thingamobobber online where you go stick in your address and it tells you all about the candidates just especially for you. Great for the ones the news never even talks about (and seriously, your local elections are waaaay more important usually…maybe not this time, though, since nouveau Mussolini is running, and that is not good for America). The ladies’ league does not offer opinion, just what the candidates have provided about their positions. Totally check out Trump (er, um, Drumpf) , just for farts and grins.

Can we put this dead horse to rest? Your March 1st drinking game.

 

Don't make Misty have to come down there Kirby!
Don’t make Misty have to come down there Kirby!

Well folks, tonight will hopefully be the night that this ethics snafu gets all sorted out. Kirby successfully tabled it for a few weeks with a letter from his lawyer. If you click on the ethics bill on tonight’s agenda, you will see the county lawyer had a pretty strong opinion as to the outrageous nature of Kirby’s complaints. Please remember this game is for entertainment purposes only. Billy is way too busy abstaining to help any of you out.

When Billy continues down the path of abstaining to prove some point that we are sure that even he has forgotten, have yourself a thermos of Whiskey Sours. It brings back memories of another incident when some fellas used some very bad judgment.

If Kirby say one gosh darn thing about this ethics bill, and we mean ONE, have yourself a Trojan Horse. Because, yokels, we may have to embark upon one and raid Winchester Hall if this isn’t settled tonight.

There really isn’t any way that impact and construction fees are going to be passed tonight. Not with Tony and Kirby’s “plan” to privatize the school buildings. So during the long, prolonged, tortuous soliloquy that Tony will surely put us through have a few Wake Up Calls, since you will need the boost.

Hopefully, the contentious part of our evening has come to a close. Brunswick is having some economic trouble and would like to be designated an enterprise zone. Hopefully no one will step in the way of a local jurisdiction trying to solve their economic problems, but if (when) they do, slam back a Flaming Mouthwash to keep your cussing under control.

We end with some talk of agricultural easements, public comment and council member comments. Its been a long night so grab some sparkling water and try to keep your cool.

It’s poll time again.

Before we get to our new question,  we need to close out our last poll.

So Jiffy lubing the custodians it is!

 

66019504
Looking right at you Kirby and Tony!

We’ve heard Kirby’s take on his and Tony’s meeting with Dr. Alban. But we can’t help but wonder what was going on in Dr. Alban’s head.  Of course she’s too much of a professional to tell us, so we will just have to speculate wildly.

 

Hate snow days? Let Kirby think outside the box and fix that for ya!

1017gv

Every few weeks Kirby pens some propaganda for the Emmitsburg News Journal. (Sounds fancy, doesn’t it?)Predictably, Kirby focuses his “column” on the poor persecuted developers of our county. Read what we’ve had to say about this privatization idea here.  He cries foul over Councilman Donald’s email that suggests that letting students eat lunch in the hallway rather than making developers pay their share is pathetic. Then there’s this:

Council Member Chmelik and I met with the Superintendent of Schools Dr. Terry Alban and we mentioned putting a task force together to have the school system lease schools from private entities, a true public, private partnership. One thing I said to Dr. Alban that I think resonated with her was that during the recent snow storm I asked her how she spent her time? She said she was busy coordinating efforts to see when schools could be open. I replied that if she leased the schools from a private entity, she could make a simple phone call and state what day she wanted the schools open, and if they were not open, the entity would pay a penalty, pre-determined within their contract. This way she can concentrate on what she does best, educating students and not worrying about snow removal. I mentioned also that it’s her job to produce students that enter college, vocational school, the military or the workforce that are educated and prepared for this highly competitive world we live in. We all agree on that.

Folks, this hurts our brains. Is this private entity going to be in charge of clearing all the roads to and from the school. Because, if not, how the hell are the students going to get there? And what about all the other schools in the county? This logic truly boggles the mind. It sounds simple and reasonable, until you actually think about it for more than two minutes.  No other new information was obtained from this letter. Other than he’ll have it all worked out in the next “6-12 months”.

1018bk
Zeus help us all!

Hey Frederick City residents, care to pay double?

zvscq

Every few months the County Council sits down  with the Frederick Alderman to have a pow wow. We love that our local governmental entities make it a point to sit down and communicate with one another. Two of your Yokels are city residents and we have to say that we are always so impressed with these ladies and gentlemen. The way they work together, know their issues, and just seem so much more functional than some other government body. The main item on the agenda was to discuss school  construction.  Tony wants the city to pony up for the schools that are being built within the city limits. Thankfully Aldermanic heroes O’Connor and Kuzemchak were not having any of that. As Mr. O’Connor pointed out, city residents already pay county taxes. AND, it’s the county’s job–not the city’s–to build schools. Why should city residents be expected to pay twice?  And what kind of precedence would this set if local municipalities were expected to pay for school costs? Would that mean the incorporated areas of our county would be at an advantage when getting a new school? Or that they would be expected to come up with the money every time they needed a new school? Without any support, and all kinds of facts against him, Tony backtracked. There was some discussion of perhaps the city lending the county some money. Or perhaps the city paying for the extra large gym at Butterfly Ridge elementary.  We’ll see if this comes up at their May meeting.

Last night our RALE friends went before the Board of Zoning Appeals in another chapter of their long fight against the MTC. Here’s Steve McKay’s report on what happened last night:

RALE was at the Board of Zoning Appeals (BZA) tonight.

I’d like to tell you that we were successful, but we weren’t. The bottom line is that the BZA, which believes that County Staff is ALWAYS assumed to have acted correctly, decided that we didn’t count, that we didn’t have “standing”, and so they ignored the merits of our argument. I’m going to break this down but let’s first review what this appeal was about.

At the end of last year, AFTER the Council ordered the Monrovia Town Center case to start over again, we learned that an “Outlot” was being processed, based on the old, invalidated BoCC approvals, to accommodate the planned water tower to service Landsdale and MTC. The Planning Commission approved the Outlot plat recordation, and we appealed that Planning Commission approval. The Zoning Administrator (but not really, because it was really Cathy Mitchell acting on behalf of this guy) denied our appeal, saying that it was a “ministerial action” and, therefore, not subject to appeal. We then appealed their denial – because it was wrong – and that’s why we were there tonight.

Now let’s talk about the “standing” issue. First of all, the County didn’t even base their denial on a belief that we lacked standing. They based it entirely on their “ministerial” argument. It was the developer that raised the standing issue, and the County basically said – “oh yeah, we think that, too!” So the developer and the County were working together tonight – again – arguing that we don’t count. Their argument was based on the fact that RALE doesn’t own property. This is true. The much-fabled “RALE warehouse” doesn’t exist. But there is another element of standing that they ignored. You see RALE has “personal interests” in this case, and that should have been sufficient to establish our standing. You see, RALE has invested countless hours, effort and a whole lot of money (donated by all of YOU) to this effort. That’s the basis of our personal interest, our standing … that they ignored.

In the end, the appeals commissioners ignored that element and asked their County attorney whether we had standing or not. Not surprisingly, we lost the argument. On this point, I want to personally thank the people that testified about how RALE represents the community on this issue. The appeals commissioners didn’t hear it or acknowledge the point – but I did, and I thank you.

But now let’s look at the merits of the issue because although the BZA may have ignored this argument, or claimed ignorance to the issues (which was bull___), the County CLEARLY violated the zoning ordinance in submitting the Outlot for approval. Let’s start with the appropriate section of the Ordinance, shown below. The language and its implications are very clear. If an Outlot plat is part of a subdivision in a preliminary plan, then it must go through the final plat process.

In the other image, the preliminary/site plan CLEARLY shows the Outlot as part of the plan. This preliminary/site plan is NOT completed. Is NOT signed. Thus, the Outlot has not completed the final plat process, as required by the ordinance. It never should have been approved!

So you might wonder how the County attorney – Cathy Mitchell – responded to this argument. Basically, she didn’t! First, she said we lied but didn’t explain how. Then she justified the whole thing on the basis that the “County needed this plot of land” for the water tower. Now this pissed me off. We didn’t lie – we just caught them in an error. The language in the ordinance is clear and unambiguous and they violated that language. So I don’t appreciate being called a liar. Next, saying that the “County needed the land” is NOT a justification for violating the zoning ordinance. That’s Bull!

Beyond these points – which should have been enough – our argument boils down to this fundamental premise. This Outlot approval was based on a zoning approval from the BoCC. That approval was based on a record that has now been TWICE invalidated – by the Circuit Court and by the Council. You can NOT have a valid approval based on an invalidated record. Effectively, that record no longer exists. The Council decided to create a new record. The Planning Commission will now go forward, ignoring that past history. The record is null and void and any approvals based on that record are now moot.

So the bottom line is that County staff and Planning Commission should have never even entertained this Outlot plat recordation because it is based on an invalidated, non-existent record. But even so, they still violated the zoning ordinance by approving it! I’ll be real clear now – we will appeal this because it is wrong. It’s more time and money, but sometimes, you have to do what’s right.

Best regards, Steve

If you would like to help RALE with their legal expenses they are holding a raffle. Click here for more info.

Billy drops “f” bomb in workshop!!!!

It couldn't have ANYTHING to do with him, could it?
It couldn’t have ANYTHING to do with him, could it?

 

Howdy Yokels!! We’ll get back to our title in a moment.

Last night’s workshop had three items to discuss; Medical Marijuana, Kirby and Tony’s task force, and changes to the council’s rules and procedures.

We are all for the growth and use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.  It is absolutely ludicrous that the Federal Government still considers marijuana to be a schedule 1 drug.  Ludicrous.  M.C. was the star tonight and had lots of good facts as to the research and uses of cannabis.  For example, there is a possibility that cannabis could be used as an alternative to opioids for pain management. If you still need to be convinced hop on over to this website and watch some of these movies. Let’ s not let Richard Nixon era craziness cloud our views on the benefits of this drug.

Next up is some very confusing talk about the creation of a task force to discuss this lease back idea of building schools.  Tony wants to go to Jan with the full support of the council. There’s some discussion as to why this needs to be done since Jan has already agreed to look into it. And Tony thinks its “very unfortunate” that anyone would think that this task force would be perceived as being against what the County Executive is trying to accomplish. Now why in the world would anyone think that Tony and Kirby would do anything to undermine Jan?

INCONCEIVABLE

Now, for the juicy stuff. The council members want to change some of their rules and procedures. This is where Billy gets really testy. He wants a break!!! Right now!!! Bud takes a little longer than Billy cares to wait and you can clearly hear him drop the “mother of all words” and storm out.

Just  cue up the video and go to the second hour and 29 minutes in ( 2:29) and enjoy! You may also want to click on the procedures to see the changes that Billy wants. Basically he wants to be able to talk all the time about whatever he wants. He doesn’t have the support of his fellow members. In fact, he and Tony have a nice little back and forth over all of this. But the pinnacle of irony for us is when Billy proclaims:

We don’t communicate very effectively.

yg3ss

Brace yourselves!!! There are three opportunities for mischief this week!

We hope not Smuckers!
We hope not Smuckers!

Tuesday through Thursday are busy days in the county!!! First off we have a workshop tomorrow at 4:30. As of last week this workshop was to only deal with medical cannabis. However, after all the mystery over Kirby’s secret developer last week, we see this attached:

Lease Buy Back Task Force Proposal – Council Members Tony Chmelik and Kirby Delauter.

We shall see that how that goes!!

Then on Wednesday seems like a pretty tame meeting with the Board of Alderman. Culminating with a hearing on the MTC this Thursday at 7:00.  We’ll be watching for ya!