That workshop was something to behold. As we try to figure out how to adjust our Adequate Public Facilities Ordinance so the schools aren’t so crowded, our major characters were relegated to supporting roles. Tony Chmelik took his soliloquy a bit too seriously. As we have previously noted, Chmelik could not provide us the courtesy of making any damn sense.

A couple of high points. Runner up for the “Best-Calling-Out-of-a-Smarmy-(but-Exceptionally-Loquacious) A$$ Award” goes to Councilmember Shreve for blasting into his microphone at Chmelik: NO. You cannot interject! You’ve done nothing but interject for 50 minutes!

We do love when someone up on the dais says exactly what we are thinking.

We have to promptly dissolve this alliance with Shreve, though, because he wants to shuffle the grades around. Maybe send some fifth graders to middle school, maybe some middle schoolers to high school, they aren’t crowded, etc. Whatevz. It’s hard to get good education policy enacted from experts in pedagogy and child development. Please tell us we won’t be entertaining harebrained schemes introduced by part time council act who does not have a child, but still acts like one himself.

As a warm up, Jessica Fitzwater laughingly acknowledged  that Tony is never quick, when he pleaded for a couple of quick questions.

But the true heroism comes in when Ms. Fitzwater activates her superpower (that’s teacher voice) to get errant pupil Kirby Delauter back on track. He is disrupting the group by alluding to plans to solve school overcrowding (mysteriously, he cannot reveal any plans at the present time; he didn’t do the homework). Just at the moment we are saying, “Plans? What plans? We haven’t heard any plans?” Ms. Fitzwater seizes the teachable moment. The protocol for revealing one’s plans for the county is not The Tentacle.  Much like a soliloquy–speaking to oneself without regard to the audience–it seems as though that website is not actually a recognized forum. More like a safety deposit box for nonsense (because these “ideas” Kirby has published so far are batpoo crazy). So it sounds like The Tentacle does not write legislation or even agendas for the Frederick County Council. Who? Knew?  (????) And we are all like, “Nailed it!!!!” For bonus points: #KirbyDelauter was irritated, because he knows that they can’t retroactively place impact fees on Spring Ridge (or anywhere else) because there is no legal leverage to do this thing that was an idea originating from his own dim dome, so “they are wasting time…[discussing his stupid idea].”

We simply cannot wait to hear of the plan to address this that # and Tony Chmelik are percolating this week.  It’s probably either send wishes to a fairy godmother or online schooling. Both seem about as reality based.