Important PSA for all Frederick County teachers!

Welcome back, educators! We sincerely hope that you had a wonderful first week and that our kiddos behaved themselves. If you are a fan of our blog, you are well aware that we are big fans of teachers. BIG FANS! We don’t take too kindly when someone is hell bent on sabotaging our educator’s careers just because they don’t share the same politics as they do. Who is this someone? Well, of course you know. Our county’s most prolific PIA requester and law suit aficionado has penned the most paranoid and contradictory tome on the noodley appendage this week. 

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Neither can we! But, please continue it’s important.
The first part of this opinion piece informs us that MANY public school teachers are part of Antifa. Her source?  The Daily Caller.

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Seems legit!
She then called Joshua Cramer, a Washington County teacher, who posted on social media that he would remove students who wore Trump gear from his class, you guessed it, a fascist.  But these two contradictory exerpts have to be our favorite:

“Activist teachers and teaching is, and has been, in Frederick County Public Schools (FCPS) whether you choose to believe it or not. Go ahead and take a peek at the Facebook pages of certain FCPS teachers. I’m sure you know who they are. They are wearing their pink hats, holding “Resist” posters, crying over the Trump presidency.”

Followed by:

“I don’t care what the political/social leanings of a teacher are as long as they keep it at home and out of the classroom. I also know FCPS has some radical teachers that no one would know were radical. I respect and thank them for being professionals. If you’re puzzled why so many youth embrace socialism and fascism you need look no farther than FCPS. Professionalism appears to no longer contain their personal ideologies.”

So, go ahead peeps, and stalk all those teacher’s social media, but hey it doesn’t matter as long as they keep it out of the classroom!! REALLY?!?!?! And notice that she doesn’t seem to mind those teachers who support Trump or her viewpoint “radicalizing” our students!

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Need we tell you that Cindy proudly proclaimed that she contacted Washington County Public Schools even though she has no child in that school system and had no idea what went on in Mr. Cramer’s classroom? Of course we didn’t.
In closing, she tells us that teachers are teaching that the “constitution is mutable” (uh, yeah. Ever heard of amendments to the Constitution? The founders knew we may want to change things over time!) And that FCPS’s Day of Activism is all about radicalizing our children. BIG DEEP BREATHS FOLKS!

Now for the PSA part. MSEA has a really good article on how to protect yourself online. We would like you to go further. Besides locking your account down, you need to block Cindy. Block her and anyone else you see sharing the opinion that teachers are radicalizing students. It’s for your own protection. Though she claims that she doesn’t care what you do out of the classroom, don’t believe it. Please, please don’t make yourself a target of her PIAs or ethics complaints. Lock those accounts down tight and block away!

Have a wonderful school year! Your Lady Yokels have y’all’s backs!

 

The Tony Show gets upstaged by Kirby in bizarre encore performance

Loquacious lecturing Tony Chmelik–imagine our surprise when we fret that Shrelauter will muck things up, and then he takes the reins. He got into orator mode again this week, and man we can do without the Tony with a condescending tone schtick. Sighhhh.

There was long discussion of the River Board process, which had Councilman Chmelik frustrated with the time these things take and the lack of television air time, but the bulk of his grievances centered on County Executive Jan Gardner’s public briefing last week regarding the school capacity report and traffic study. And he wrote and delivered an exhausting, pompous speech on the matter, in lieu of discussing like a normal person.

Jessica Fitzwater criticized him for wanting to spend additional taxpayer dollars to find something that reached conclusions he agreed with, and after listening to him complain about money already spent and tiresome, lengthy processes, it was hard not to see her point. He had some great ideas in there, though, such as how it would be inaccurate to assume all the houses would actually be sold (????). We find that kind of funny coming from someone with as large a family as he has. Why didn’t the report assume families of twelve would move into every one of those homes? We can come at this from both sides, dude. It also bugged him out that increasing costs of construction weren’t factored in, and isn’t that shooting yourself in the foot, if you want to say maybe we don’t need to plan for big expenses? We have a confuse.

At any rate, that finally ended (if you’d like to know more, the Frederick News Post has a good run down that won’t make you want to stab yourself in the ears; we cannot recommend actually exposing yourself to the archives of this meeting) and they went into closed session. Chmelik helpfully acknowledged during Council Member Comments that we had probably heard enough from him. Hoo-boy. Truer words never spoken.

And then, apparently national laughingstock Kirby Delauter wanted to take it outside with Jerry Donald over that meme someone made with Jerry spanking Kirby. We’ll put it in here for educational purposes, since he’s opened the door to that (genius!), and ICYMI. It’s in reference to Jerry Donald using his social media account to publicize the inaccuracy of Kirby’s assertions that the Democrats on the Council are planning to make Frederick a sanctuary county. How dare he insist Misleading Push-Poll and Fake News Employer Kirby stick to the facts. This caused Kirby to (allegedly) call him another name for a trendy pink knitted lady hat, approximately one time for each woman who attended that march, it sounds like. He wants Jerry Donald to monitor his Facebooking more closely, which is beyond hilarious, considering the source. Maybe Kirby should worry about the damage he does with his own Facebook account. Or lippy outbursts.

Did we think this was worth using? Not that much, really. Now that the context has changed? Yes, yes it is.

A Miner Detail spoke with Delauter, who claims that M.C. Keegen-Ayer and Jerry Donald just want to make the council look foolish–an assertion that causes us to hoot in side-spitting, knee slapping laughter, given the dedication he has to looking like a fool all by his own self.

Do you know what? Billy Shreve wasn’t even worth mentioning. That’s how bad all this was!

Let’s make it a September to remember! Your 9/5 drinking game is here!

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County council meetings are not worth damaging your liver over!

Billy ruined last month’s meeting, utterly ruined it. Hopefully, this meeting will be more civil. But with Kirby double negatively seeking the CE office with his new fashion line, we don’t have much faith that will happen. Nevertheless, we mustn’t check out, so grab your agenda, turn on FCGTV, and guard your liver well!

Public comments have been tame or non-existent lately. If anyone should think this is their time to grandstand, instead of you know,  providing legitimate, helpful feedback, slam back a Screaming Hick!

Let’s see if Kirby can remember to pull a budget adjustment before everyone votes yes on them this week. If not, sip gently on your Poor Decisions cocktail.

We have minutes to approve, legislative items to learn about, and county executive appointments to confirm! If anyone should provide any disruptions mix up a barrel of Lunatic Giant, since we have more of our share of those around here!

Next up there’s documents to sign and then a public hearing on some water and sewer amendments. We need clean water and Zeus on the high mountain knows we need a functional sewage system. Therefore, if anyone throws fits mix up a Dark’n Dirty. Because that’s what our water will look like if we don’t take care.

The end is nigh! Billy will vote against going into closed session, because REASONS. Maybe we’ll hear from the public again and then we close up with the council member comments. This is when things can get really, really bad.

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We are begging you Shrelauter!! It’s going to be stressful enough this week getting the kids back to school!

ICYMI: Please vote for our blog in FNP’s Best of the Best contest. Imagine how much the haters will hate if we win!

Ah, Billy Shreve, The Oracle of Fredneck, hath spoken

You may have heard there is a head-scratching controversy over the Native American war bonnet the Linganore Lancers are using for sportsballing events. And shockingly that controversy isn’t WTF does a feather headdress even have to do with “The Lancers” in the first place? Because the answer to that is absolutely nothing, so…weird.

Lucky for us, look who has chimed in on this matter!

Imagine our surprise upon noticing that Billy knows how to correctly spell both ridiculous and embarrassment. Is it because those terms are so often used in conjunction with him, or because autocorrect is a thing his phone can do? We will never know!

We have complicated feelings about Shreve, which we are pleased to freely express. He is so terribly ill mannered during council meetings, but he does give us so very many things to laugh at. We bet you did not know that just last Friday on mid Maryland live he gave us another. Billy Shreve claimed that most people probably don’t know that Gettysburg was a battlefield and just think of it as a nice drive through a park! He needs to hang out with different “most people,” if that’s a personal observation.  And so many cannons and obelisks and statues and multi story observation towers and people in your way stopping all over the place to get out and look at them to set that apart from your ordinary Sunday drive, if you just stumbled across the place, never having heard the Gettysburg Address. Which most middle schoolers we know are familiar with:

We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live.

We would be remiss if we did not slide in the observation that only one side’s soldiers died so that this nation might live. The other side died trying to kill it. So, there’s that. #FreedomofExpression

But, back to The Oracle of Fredneck. In case you are new around here, or just need a refresher as to why Shreve is both so funny and so infuriating, he has also previously claimed that it would be wasteful to enact programs to prevent erosion from the Monocacy Watershed–which creates deposition into the Chesapeake Bay–because the Grand Canyon was formed by erosion. This armchair geology nerd will spare you the stone cold details, but there is a lot going on here, and none of it supports Billy’s understanding of science.

He once tried to argue for the obsolescence of libraries (in spite of his obvious need to reap the benefits of a library) in favor of shopping at Borders. This was some time back, but not so far back that Borders hadn’t gone out of business a couple of years before that came to his attention, so he must not have been a very devoted customer. Frederick is simply not large enough that this fact should have gone unnoticed.

And less humorous a proclamation of his not so distant past: there are people both for and against human trafficking. You would think all of these teachable moments would have him thinking before spouting off, but then he wouldn’t be our Billy Shreve, At-Large County Councilmember. Spread the word, Frederick. We must be willing to sacrifice of our pointing and laughing opportunities for the greater good of competent public policy.

Someone needs to get in the penalty box! Oh, and please vote for us!

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Oh yes he did!

So last week, we ever so nicely asked our friendly readers to vote for us in the FNP’s Best of the Best blog contest. Just a little friendly competition among local blogs, right? Well, we thought so until yesterday when we noticed that we were getting quite a few referrals from some blog called Russian Machine Never Breaks. At first we thought, ” Oh no, Kirby and Billy finally got the Russians after us.” But no, it’s just some blog devoted entirely to the Washington Capitals hockey team. What did this blog dare say about your favorite Lady Yokels you ask?

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Yeah, why don’t you puck off?!?!

Not sure how this qualifies as a local blog since, besides this post, we don’t see anything on their site that has to do with Frederick.  To point out the obvious, these hockey jocks know nothing about how your coterie of ladies works tirelessly to keep y’all up to date on our local political scene. If they would pull themselves away from ESPN for half a millisecond, maybe just maybe, they would be a little angry as well. For how else is one to react after being exposed to the antics of Shrelauter?

Our other friendly competition, Housewives of Frederick County, was also heavily condescended to in this post, because they have what these fellows identify as lady capri pants interests!!! Hockey #1!!! GRUNT! GRUNT! GRUNT!

So dear readers, we are sending out another call for you to vote for a TRUE local Frederick blog. One that makes it so you don’t have to destroy your TV when you throw a glass at it during council meetings. A blog that cares about what happens up here in our fine county, and not on a fake ice rink far, far away.

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Or your Lady Yokels!

Did they do anything right? Seriously, anything?

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We are guessing no!

Yesterday, County Executive Jan Gardner held a press conference on residential growth. Though this is probably no surprise to our readers, the last BOCC really screwed us! Here’s some highlights from the power point presentation that accompanied the briefing:

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Holy Crap People! How did we let this happen?

If all that doesn’t show the importance of paying attention to local issues, we don’t know what will! What is almost incomprehensible about all this is that one of the people on that 2010-2014 board thinks that he should run the whole county! Here’s his “Issues” page from his County Executive webpage:

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Well, we know from the whole Citizens’/Montevue sell off that seniors are not his priority. He also has not numerically been able to defend his school lease idea, though he has been given opportunities to do so. Isn’t it in question whether he is for or against sanctuary counties? And proven track record?! BAAHAA, just scroll up!!! It’s one thing that we let the Young BOCC get away with what they did. However, if we choose to elect a person to our highest county office who literally sold us away to developers, and put us on the hook for hundreds of millions of dollars, then we really don’t care about this place that we call home.

Did y’all hear the news?!?! Kirby is now FOR sanctuary counties!

As you may have noticed, we here at Yokel headquarters have been enthralled by Kirby’s 2017-2018 fashion line. However, NOTHING could have prepared us for his latest release:

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Nice try, Mr. Simon! Man, oh man, we were on the floor with tears streaming down our cheeks with this one! Is there no one proof-reading these things for him?  Keep on being you Kirby! Truth is always stranger than fiction.

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Rain Tax: the properties of matter

Your Local Yokels are staring in disbelief at our televisions again this morning, for what seems like infinite mornings at this point. Every once in awhile some dolt’s irresponsible shrieking about “Rain Tax” worms it’s way into our consciousness and turns into a rage supernova. Just as it did a moment ago, when CNN showed an arial view from the 1950’s of the Addicks Reservoir west of Houston. This is a picture of the dry reservoir that normally serves as a park, with vast farmland property to the northwest of that. Then they showed a photo of today, where hundereds of thousands of closely packed homes and the network of roads and driveways and patios create an impermeable surface nightmare that overwhelms the flood control system. This is clearly a catastrophe of historic proportions, but the situation is not helped by the lack of policy and regulation, and conditions that coddle developers over residents. Things that Houston and Texas both are famous for. This is what happens when you have irresponsible, unchecked development and ignorance of the mitigating solutions. For now, the solution is to produce controlled flooding of properties downstream (including the downtown area) in the hopes that the levees there and at a second reservoir under similar strain do not catastrophically fail all at once, and create a much more destructive and dangerous condition.

This situation is not nearly over. In our region we typically deal with inconvenient storms that you can plow and shovel and move and sometimes relocate and dump and melt. Here we see a virtually flat city inundated, and people have been lost to both rising and rushing waters that are far more difficult to control. Due to our landscape, flood waters can also come at us rushing downhill. The fact that anyone around here ever behaved as though this is a strain on developers ignores the strain on life and property for potential victims. Let this be an ongoing lesson to those who may want to turn on the television and reexamine their priorities. The average annual rainfall in most of Maryland is only a few inches different from the norm for the Texas Gulf Coast.

In the meantime, do what you can to help Texas and now Louisiana, as Harvey continues to hammer them.

 

LOLOLOLOLOLOLLLLLLLL look what we found before we published! You fool. It’s used to justify it because the facts check out. Your pal Fred Propheter is correct–proper planning (including funding mitigating drainage systems to handle the water) is necessary. You have to pay for that somehow! Now we get to tag Kirby Delauter and the CE race in this. Well played, social media treasure trove! You be you!

Ain’t too proud to beg!!!

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We’ve once again made the finalist list for the Frederick News Post’s Best of the Best awards. Since we don’t make any money doing what we do, we can’t afford to buy any of the fancy ads to promote ourselves. Therefore, we rely on you, our dear readers, to get the word out and vote! Go ahead and follow this link!

We are counting on you!

Mansplaining 101. An appeal of the unnecessary kind.

If you make an appeal for something that isn’t happening and will continue to not happen, does that mean you get to take credit for it not happening? What are we even talking about?

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Seriously, you don’t get to take credit for this.
In today’s FNP we find out that Tony sent a request to Jan to continue to not do something she has already said she won’t do. Tony is concerned that the Bussards will be fined while the whole zoning issue surrounding their mulching business is being sorted out.

“I have never before been asked to not do something that I am already not doing!” she wrote. “It has been very clear that the County would not assess fines as long as an effort toward compliance was in the works. The County always works with property owners and businesses to solve problems and we will continue to do so.”

For this, we are awarding Councilman Chemlik the following award.

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In other news, #fakenews, we have seen an online petition circulating to save Maryland’s flag. The only problem? No one is trying to change it. Go waste your outrage on an actual real issue please.