Just like Aunt Gloria, you can pretend you are French when you bake with this.
This continues our ongoing series to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit.
Today’s feature is from Aunt Gloria. She loves to bring dessert to our holiday gatherings. Aunt Gloria has a fondness for all things orange. Her holiday treat features Grand Marnier. It is safe to say she samples a lot while making this yummy version of pound cake. Measure the flour, take a sip. Measure the sugar, take a sip. You get the idea. Please make sure you save some for the cake!
You’ll find Aunt Gloria’s recipe here. She may be a good baker, but she is not original. You can recognize Aunt Gloria by her orange blossom perfume and by the hiccups she gets when she bakes this cake.
There’s so much to share with our dear readers on this chilly Friday morning. Let’s start with a column in today’s Frederick News Post. Self appointed crotchety old man, Rick Blatchford, shares with us his stream of consciousness rant on everything that is wrong with the world today. From Caitlin Jenner to Bill Clinton to the singer Pink, there seems to be no end to the issues that outrage this man. This kind of stuff is mostly amusing to us. Because, faux outrage is well, funny.
What deserves some real outrage is a piece that appeared in the noodley appendage this morning. The author is so very outraged that Republican Senator Jeff Flake made a donation to Alabama Democratic Senatorial candidate Doug Jones. He is even more outraged that on the donation check Senator Flake wrote: “country before party”. A nice sentiment that we wish more people would adhere to. Well, no, no, no says this author because Doug Jones will kill all the unborn babies, let the immigrants flow through the border in droves (especially those Muslims), and will force all that government health care down y’all’s throats! But, even that hyperbolic drivel isn’t what gets us. It’s this note the author makes at the end of the piece:
Regarding the severity of claims, Mr. Moore had relations with teenagers when he was in his 30’s back in the 1970’s, Moore’s grandparents and perhaps parents, likely would not have batted an eye at such a relationship. Many men in their 30’s and older where (sp) widowers from disease and child birth deaths. Women their age where (sp) all married with their own families. Moore was no widower, but the age mismatch issue is only a recently formulated taboo. It should also be noted that all of the claims against Mr. Moore are for consensual relationships unlike the groping, grabbing, coercing and raping claims filling our news every day against entertainment, news and elected offenders.
Seriously!!
How long ago does this guy think the 1970’s were?! Roy Moore’s behavior was bad and creepy enough that he was banned from the local mall! And, kind sir, if you think that a 15 year old child can consent to a relationship with a 30 some year old man then your view of consent is really warped. Putting aside the issue as to whether or not a child can consent (they can’t!) to a relationship with a much older man, is the fact that he has also been accused of attacking at least one woman as a teenager. It’s also outrageous that you are so worried about protecting all the unborn children, but not the girl children that have already been born. What kind of pro-lifer does that make you? But, go ahead and tell us all the trade-off is worth it. That a Democrat is worse than a pedophile. For that is what is truly worth the outrage.
*Just for clarification MOST 15 year olds were not married in the days of yore. Just take a gander at this chart on the average age of marriage from the Census Bureau:
Every few days we check the social media accounts of our favorite local characters. Not only Facebook, but Twitter as well. Boy did we find some jewels today. Lets’s begin with #kirbydelauter:
Isn’t it comforting to know Kirby is totally fine electing a man accused of assaulting and persuing underage girls, and who was dismissed from the Alabama Supreme Court TWICE to the U.S. Senate just so he can get a few thousand dollars back on his taxes? He is literally willing to have a sexual predator serve in the U.S. Senate as long as his wallet is a tad bit greener. What a peach!
The second retweet from Dan Bongino is also very interesting. Especially considering fellas like Kirby are always screaming about the overreach of the federal government. Guess all that federal overreach doesn’t apply when it comes to their precious guns. Pew! Pew!
Now onto Tweedle Dumb. We have no idea in the world what this is about:
If anyone can clear this up, please send us a line. And, it appears as though Shrelauter have started the Dan Bongino fan boyz club!
Not sure who thinks this guy is worthy of an award. Considering this is how he behaves. Plus, he can’t seem to win an election.
Finally, Mr. Ski Instructor is all fine and dandy with the President giving away public lands:
This all begs the question, is there anything that Trump can do that will turn Shrelauter against him? Sure seems as though they are drinking the kool aid to the very last drop.
This holiday season we are going to share some of our own Yokel family traditions to help you get in the holiday spirit. This will be an ongoing series of one special daily recipe. You may even want to pull some of these items out to help you get through a council meeting.
Our first tasty item is from the kitchen of Uncle Fred. Good ole Fred would make huge batches of this to send home with everyone every Christmas. He told us it was beef, but I’m not sure if that is what he used every year. We learned not to ask as Uncle Fred had a fondness for anything he could hunt for himself. One year, I accidently found out he used groundhog after being hired by several neighbors to help them with a groundhog infestation. Anyway, you can recognize Uncle Fred if you see him around town by his groundhog teeth necklace.
Here is the recipe. I had to promise to let Uncle Fred hunt squirrel on my property to get this from him. I later found out he got this off Pinterest so jokes on me.
The good part of the meeting concerned the Veterans Affairs Council. Many eloquent and distinguished people–most, if not all, of whom are veterans themselves–came to talk about the beneficial things such a council could accomplish for the many veterans in our community. It was truly a testament to the goodness of mankind in a week where most sane people have been wondering if and when we would see such benevolence again. (Guess who is going to harsh the vibe? You know, right? You do.)
The Ghost of General Burnside Judge Scott Rolle spoke of what he has witnessed firsthand in his courtroom to say that it would be good to have a centralized way to locate resources for veterans: help with jobs, housing, counseling, what have you. Awesome. And we’re just kidding about the facial hair. It looks cool.
The next speaker also spoke of the need to have something “be the connective tissue,” especially for those who are impacted by physical or mental costs from their service. We so agree. This seems very similar to the discussion with regard to the needs of human trafficking victims, but we realize this issue will receive uncontroversial support, whereas we have heard about how some people are not opposed to human trafficking, and yes we will keep bringing it up whenever we can tie anything at all to it, because there are also mental and physical costs to being enslaved and sold.
Anyway, we are getting persnickety again, and really it was a heartwarming discussion that (thank you Craig Tyler—tip of the tricorn here) also emphasized that some of us chose to settle here in Frederick County and make roots, and we do so because the community is engaged and caring, and has good governance as a result of an active community that sees a need and does something about it. Another speaker mentioned that government can do more than disjointed groups or individuals. Hallelujah. Some people do recognize the purpose of “we the people” promoting the general welfare and all of that Founding Fathers forming a more perfect union jazz.
We particularly appreciated the Retired Lieutenant Colonel and Iraq veteran from the Marine Corps who spoke specifically about not forgetting women veterans, who have higher rates of both homelessness and suicide, and people tend to think of the veterans as males.
Absolutely everyone who spoke made excellent points, and we appreciate your service to your country and your continued service in this community. This was an inspiring process to watch, and that was a true privilege today.
There was also a discussion on rezzzzzzzzzzzzzoning. We cannot promise we will revisit that, even though it looked as though it may have been one of the better such discussions you could want to hear.
Then the regular nice people were nice, although Bud was testy, which he has been lately…for some odd reason. And in honor of December 5th, nasty old Krampus Billy showed up at the end to get all cranky about commenters not being civil and say we should do away with the code of civility since no one cares about it. Newsflash: disagreeing with Billy is not uncivil. It’s a sign of sanity (that was uncivil, but we don’t even feel bad). Seriously, we assume he was referring to the public comments criticizing people who are rude to county employees, and if he took that is a personal attack, there must be some reason he might have thought it was directed at him.
The meeting starts off nice enough! Some recognition is given to those who collected coats for kids for an event called Operation Warm. With all the awful in the world, it’s nice to see people helping others.
For the first time in forever we have some public commenters. We love that the first lady speaker wore Patagonia while asking the council when they were going to start paying attention to climate change. This nice lady also gave Bud some praise recalling some words he said that indicated that we didn’t need science to tell climate change was real. Matt Seubert is up next, also talking about the environment and the importance of passing the county executive’s forest ordinance. Next, another friend of the Yokel, Patrick, admonishes “some” (wink, wink) members of the council for how they speak to government employees when they present information. We agree with this sentiment 100%, as we have often mentioned how much our county employees suffer at the hands of Shrelauter, and often Tony. Stan Mordensky rounds out the comments also talking about the forest ordinance.
Billy refuses to vote on the agenda and is a bit of a jerk about the budget adjustments, but yawn, what else is new? During the county executive appointments, Billy wants to split the vote between the two appointees to the Monocacy River Board. Very jerkily tells M.C. to just do it the way he wants her to do it. The reason? He wants to vote against Stan Mordensky’s appointment to the board, but not the other fella. Unsurprisingly, the coup fails and Stan’s appointment went through.
In case you were wondering how Trump and the Congressional Republicans have screwed us today, look no further than your county government. You see folks, if the new tax bill goes through bonds made to local governments will lose their tax exempt status. There seems to be no rhyme or reason to this provision, the financial people testifying were at a loss as to why this was included in the proposed tax bill. Nevertheless, the county must stay ahead and refund some bonds before the new law goes into effect and screws everyone. We didn’t even hear Shrelauter trying to defend this provision.
Everything is terrible every day!
Both bond refunds pass 7-0.
Next on the agenda are four first readings. Bud goes through them quickly, too quickly we think! The first and last one are interesting and need to be addressed. The first reading is the county executive’s Forest Ordinance bill that our public commenters came out to support. The last one, is a bill put forth by Bud that alters said Forest Ordinance. After Bud finishes reading off the list, M.C. asks him to explain his alterations to the bill. She said she had a few calls from people because they were confused as to why there were two first readings on the same issue. Instead of answering her, Bud very curtly says, “I am not going to get into that right now. ”
That’s what we want to know Bandit!
Now, we don’t care for that one bit! We hope that Mr. Otis is just having one of those nights that we all have from time to time. Because, we do not see how it is unreasonable to be asked to explain the rationale behind a bill you are presenting!
We close out the first half with a public hearing that really isn’t a public hearing on some bonds concerning Mt. St. Mary’s University. No one shows up to speak and it’s passed 7-0.
Tony is pulling his wood chipping bill and starting over with planning commission recommendations. Billy is outraged because this process has now taken 7 months and we have this business that is NOT being fined and was breaking zoning ordiances and you know what Billy?…
You better Jenkins, or you may end up in the hospital!
Lots of items on the agenda for tonight’s meeting so please make sure you are properly prepared with a comfy seat. As always, take care not to overindulge. The Yokels are not responsible for any damage you may do to your livers and we really do need you to be back again for the next meeting.
First up public comments. If no one shows up, drink some ginger ale. You are going to want to coat your stomach with a preventative liner.
Next are a bunch of budget amendments. When Billy complains that he still doesn’t have a budget analyst to help him read, throw back a flaming asshole. You know why.
Business items are up next. Three meetings worth of minutes need to be approved plus confirmations, bond authorizations and new workshop items. Someone is going to abstain so get ready to drink a mojito mocktail.
Next up are first readings of four different items. Forest resources, DRRA, APF for school construction are going to be discussed. We predict tempers will flair (the 3 usual suspects). This could go long, so pick your own personal favorite beverage to slowly sip during this portion of the meeting. We still have more to get through and you will want your wits about you.
A public hearing on bonds for Mount St. Mary’s University is up next. Mix up an Irish Catholic to set the mood.
Next a third reading on the Wood Waste Recycling bill. Are you still upright??? Time for a boozy affagato. You’ll need that espresso to help you stay awake for the rest of the meeting.
Take a break until 7. If the meeting ran until 7, and you don’t get a break, grab a glass of good old fashioned water. Your liver needs a break.
Next up a second reading on the Veteran’s Advisory Council. You’ll want to mix up an American Spirit for this one. Just drink it because we all support veterans.
I can’t believe there is still more, but next comes a public hearing on rezoning the Ballenger PUD. Throw back a I’m Ya Huckleberry when Billy asks a question someone has already answered.
We are almost done. We just have to get through public and council member comments. Time to throw back a shot of C. This one is for your health. Right????
In this morning’s Political Notes report, Danielle Gaines informs of of what our local characters are up to. The first part of her column tells us Jan Gardner and Michael Hough have come together to merge their ethics bills into one piece of legislation. Now, we appreciate when our politicians on both sides of the aisle come together, since that is a rarity in these here times. However, we cannot help but think that Hough may be doing this to take away one of #kirbydelauter’s favorite talking points! For whenever Jan’s ethics bill enters the conversation Kirby immediately responds by pointing out that Hough’s bill was so much better and comprehensive. And, we all know that Hough would prefer Afzali in the County Executive seat.
Don’t ask questions you may not want the answer to Mr. Patches!
It also appears that Billy’s suggestion that motor homes be taxed as real estate property instead of as a motor vehicle didn’t gain any supporters as the final agenda, as reported by Ms. Gaines, for the county delegation looks like this:
A final agenda was set this week and includes six main items:
A legislative priorities presentation from the Frederick County Liquor Board;
a discussion of ethics legislation from Hough;
potential requests for state bond funding;
discussion of the opioid epidemic;
potential legislation from the delegation; and
public comment.
And speaking of Billy. Remember his fit about how he didn’t get all the information he needed (like he ever reads!) and how he was forced to PIA the county government to get what he needed?
In November, I wrote that discussions among County Executive Jan Gardner (D) and the county’s legal team resulted in a decision to revisit the request Shreve said was not completed.
County spokeswoman Vivian Laxton said on Thursday that an expanded packet of information was delivered to Shreve’s office this Tuesday.
Oh dear, with all their talking points slowly disappearing with the wind, what will they barrage us with now?
We’ve been slowly digesting the post-Thanksgiving workshop from Tuesday like leftover turkey and dressing, but a lot less tasty. The overarching theme this week is: if you build houses, you will also need roads for the drivers and schools for the kids living in them. This fact is so glaringly obvious that it is difficult to understand why you would need a very, very long workshop for it, but how else will Billy Shreve attempt to set up a gotcha trap while actually possessing nothing?
Some of our observations include, in no particular order:
Janice Spiegel is exactly as awesome as everyone says she is. She presents an interesting tool for anticipating growth from the known approved housing in the pipeline. In spite of all the hypotheticals, she must reiterate continuously that she has not prepared a budget document, and does not predict a timeline for this. Simply the issue is if you build all those houses, people will live in them, so heads up. It’s a completely new concept for the two critters who helped approve those developments, Aside: when other people see Blaine stuck in all the traffic, are you as tempted as we are to roll down the window and scream at him, “This is your fault, you ridiculous fool! And also, Dog the Bounty Hunter called and he wants his outfit back!”
There was a more polite meme that just said idiot, but we are not in the more polite mood today.
Tony Chmelik’s questions seem to imply that it is silly to focus on geographic regions. Would he recommend redistricting your kids like Newton’s Cradle every year, any time they could hunt down an empty seat to stick them in, just, “tok-tok-tok, all fixed; we’ll move you back next year when there’s an empty seat here, probably?” Would he send kids from his neighborhood to Libertytown, even knowing they will be stuck on the other side of a truck wedged under the CSX bridge 3 out of every 5 weekdays?
Kirby Delauter can manage to behave himself. It was so weird. Kampaigning Kirby disagrees quite respectfully (until he gets all worked up about Jan Gardner, and then he returns to his ranty man thing). Kirby “The Sky is Falling” Delauter worked really hard to minimize the impact of the development pipeline and acted like everyone else (Jan) is the problem. The actual problem is that 800 more kids showed up for school this year than had been predicted, so perhaps it is not over-erestimating that is the real danger here. The actual problem is that this pyramid scheme where development theoretically increases the tax base so that you can build roads and schools by starting construction of those some number of years after you build houses that people move into is a patently ridiculous idea that will make everyone miserable, and also make the property values not very attractive.
Billy Shreve wants to reinvent the wheel. Billy wants to know how they predict the number of kids, and birthrate patterns, and Millenials and elders don’t seem to have babies. It wasn’t presented at all with the degree of snark we think it merits, but it sure sounds like the state is actually able to inform about the number of babies that are born in a given year, and then add 5 years to extrapolate for kindergarteners.
We are tired. We are sorry for not saying anything nice about the nice people who did nice things and tried to promote the less academically able up the levels of Bloom’s Taxonomy. It has been too dramatic a week for your average news junkie, so. G’night.
We’re skipping the drinking game this week. Why? Well, it’s for your own good. There are some issues to be discussed this evening that are just so aggravating that we fear that the temptation to over imbibe may be too strong. Like alcohol poisoning strong. So, grab your agenda, tune into the highly rated FCGTV channel, and try not to break everything in your house.
First, on the agenda, is a road needs study for the New Market/Monrovia area. Read through this study and you’ll see why it is needed. Just try not to choke over the final price tag. Hopefully Steve Horn can make it out without Billy flinging an insult at him.
Now comes the part that may make you want to pack it in and move on. Janice Speigel will be in attendance to go over the School Capacity Needs Analysis report. Folks, it’s bad…real, real bad. With over 21,000 residential units in the pipeline we are in real trouble when it comes to our schools and overcrowding. It’s going to be really expensive, especially since the last BOCC allowed these developers to sign DRRA’s that made it so they didn’t have to pay up. Of course we expect Kirby to pipe up with his super discounted many-times-over-debunked leaseback idea, which would only spell more disaster for our fine county. Here’s a taste of what you can expect to hear about this evening:
And don’t forget that two people responsible for this mess want to run for County Executive and Maryland State Senate. Can you imagine?!
Lastly, we have dueling Senior Tax Credit bills from Jerry and Kirby. Quick poll! Before you even look at them, predict whose bill is more complete and helpful to our struggling seniors!
frederick local yokel 