20/20 hindsight? We have 20/20 foresight! It’s your weekly drinking game time.

Pulease hold onto your liver. This meeting could put you 5 steps closer to cirrhosis. Grab your agenda while we look into our crystal balls to predict how this meeting is going to go down.

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Just kidding. This is our Cristal. Get it???

When Billy abstains from the agenda, shake your fist at your screen and fix yourself a drunk uncle.

Since Kirby was such a jerk last week, and Tony was the week before, we predict the public will show up to comment at the beginning of the meeting. The public wants to be heard. When this happens swing back a shot of brandy to steel your nerves.

Next up are several budget adjustments for emergency services and les pauvres enfants. Shrelauter usually talks up how important fire and rescue are until it is actually time to spend money. When one of them starts squawking, pour yourself a screaming eagle.

Next up, business items.

There are board confirmations, and then two items related to transportation. Then Tony Chmelik will discuss the state legislative issues, so have a Flying Dog during the business items, because there are some dueling beer bills in Annapolis, and our small craft breweries are at risk. (If you would like to be a beer advocate, details about the beer bills are here). Be good to our local businesses.

First reading calendar. The agenda lists dueling senior tax credit bills. Kirby already tried and failed to propose a fully thought out tax credit bill for public servants, so we are not holding our breath that this first reading of his will be any more successful. Fortunately, Jerry’s bill is up first. Cristal is telling me that we should all have a bottle on standby. When Jerry’s bill is well received take a swig. If you just want Kirby to stop talking, take another swig.

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We are looking at you Kirby.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer is proposing legislation that would make more stringent guidelines to the effect that if your neighborhood pool isn’t in your neighborhood, then it’s not your neighborhood pool. If that makes sense to you, have another swig. If you think your neighborhood pool should be outside your neighborhood, you know nothing. You get nothing.

Now we are all the way up to the dramatic third readings, and y’all. We’re nervous. Not gonna lie.

A decision will be made on Jan’s Bill regarding DRRAs (Developer Rights and Responsibilities, if you’re nasty). Finish the bottle. Finish it before they start talking or voting, and then steel yourself for…

Permitted Uses in MXD. Council decision. Pick your poison. And there’s an addition of a proposed amendment by Council President Bud Otis.

Then there is a public hearing on a Water and Sewerage Plan Amendment, which sounds like the perfect time to pass out after what may happen above. Especially since they go on a break and reconvene at 7:00 to cover the Amended Forest Resource Ordinance and Public Comments.

Council Member Comments would be a good time to loudly crunch some ice chips.

Fin.

 

 

 

 

 

Bottoms up! Please make sure you are seated before imbibing.

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You better Jenkins, or you may end up in the hospital!

Lots of items on the agenda for tonight’s meeting so please make sure you are properly prepared with a comfy seat. As always, take care not to overindulge. The Yokels are not responsible for any damage you may do to your livers and we really do need you to be back again for the next meeting.

First up public comments. If no one shows up, drink some ginger ale. You are going to want to coat your stomach with a preventative liner.

Next are a bunch of budget amendments. When Billy complains that he still doesn’t have a budget analyst to help him read, throw back a flaming asshole. You know why.

Business items are up next. Three meetings worth of minutes need to be approved plus confirmations, bond authorizations and new workshop items. Someone is going to abstain so get ready to drink a mojito mocktail. 

Next up are first readings of four different items.  Forest resources, DRRA, APF for school construction are going to be discussed. We predict tempers will flair (the 3 usual suspects). This could go long, so pick your own personal favorite beverage to slowly sip during this portion of the meeting. We still have more to get through and you will want your wits about you.

A public hearing on bonds for Mount St. Mary’s University is up next. Mix up an Irish Catholic to set the mood.

Next a third reading on the Wood Waste Recycling bill. Are you still upright??? Time for a boozy affagato. You’ll need that espresso to help you stay awake for the rest of the meeting.

Take a break until 7. If the meeting ran until 7, and you don’t get a break, grab a glass of good old fashioned water. Your liver needs a break.

Next up a second reading on the Veteran’s Advisory Council.  You’ll want to mix up an American Spirit for this one.  Just drink it because we all support veterans.

I can’t believe there is still more, but next comes a public hearing on rezoning the Ballenger PUD. Throw back a I’m Ya Huckleberry when Billy asks a question someone has already answered.

We are almost done.  We just have to get through public and council member comments. Time to throw back a shot of C. This one is for your health.  Right????

Oops
Oops. Don’t say we didn’t warn you Smokey!

Elections have consequences!!! What a contentious workshop we had!

 

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We don’t know when that will be Muffin! Hopefully 2018.

There is so much swirling in your Lady Yokel’s heads at the moment.  If you are so inclined, you can suck two hours out of your life and watch the meeting here. First, let us point out that this is the second workshop in a row that Kirby couldn’t bother to attend. If he wants to be the next county executive, he probably shouldn’t develop an attendance problem during the campaign! And secondly, we should all send our thank yous and perhaps treats to our poor county employees that had to put up with the insults and badgering that Billy and Tony subjected them to this evening.

Of course we knew that a discussion of Development Rights and Responsibilities Agreement (DRRA) wasn’t going to be pretty. Let us point out that tonight was a workshop. What occurs during a workshop is you listen and discuss. There’s no voting, it’s not a hearing. It’s supposed to be a productive discussion on how to move forward. However, we cannot move FORWARD if SOME people come into a discussion with guns blazing! Billy and Tony don’t want this bill to pass. So instead of allowing anyone else on the council to listen to the explanation of the bill, they interject (VERY RUDELY) with questions, which are really more like accusations. For example, Billy, asks Steve Horn how long the comprehensive plan is. Steve says it is 10 years, but can be renewed. Billy says it’s 20. Steve says he isn’t sure what the exact length is, to which Billy tells him that he knows it’s 20 years but just doesn’t want to answer the question. He goes on to tell Mr. Horn that he’s smarter than that!

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Tony, instead of letting these poor employees go through the actual proposed bill, wants to go through an actual DRRA and have the staff tell him what is wrong with it! It is at this point that we hear a tone of voice come out of M.C. that we have never heard before. She is very angry that Tony is discussing a DRRA that no one else has in front of them!!! Especially since this isn’t even the point of the meeting. The point is to review the proposed bill that is in front of them, not to argue the merits of an already passed DRRA. M.C. also admonishes Tony for the way he is speaking to the staff this evening. At first, Tony is all: oh well, this is the job they signed up for. Then, he thinks better of it and apologizes. We are not sure why he takes all this developer stuff so personally. (When are they going to invent that font for sarcasm?) Bud tells Tony that if he doesn’t like the bill then he needs to propose an amendment to it.

There’s also some back and forth between Billy and Jerry. Billy wants to know what county Jerry would like to model Frederick County after. Jerry answers: Pre-2011 Frederick County. This causes Billy to stew in his seat for a few moments before “trying” to stick it to Jerry again. He tells Jerry that he needs to stop his snarky comments, because he never in his entire life had anything to do with a DRRA! He continues his remarks by saying that it is so great that Jerry wants to go backwards in time, because you know that Billy is all about moving forward. At this point Bud closes down the discussion by saying, “Elections have consequences!”

Now it’s time to talk about a bill that will allow a change to the Adequate Public Facilities ordinance. More specifically the School Construction fees. It’s no secret that we need more money for school construction. Therefore, for future developments that will be built where the schools are already overcrowded, the county would like to raise the fees. Blah, blah, blah. You can guess who is going be against this. After the first part of the workshop we really don’t have the energy to go into the weeds with this one.

The meeting is coming to a close, but Billy feels like he hasn’t had a chance to speak. So these words come out of his mouth:

“It’s okay, I always get overlooked. No one ever wants to provide me with information, I don’t know why. ”

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Until next time folks!