Return of the haters: Your 8/22 meeting roundup!

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Looking right at ya Billy!
If you were following our drinking game, we asked  you to be on the look out for the boosters and haters. Both Billy and Kirby fell firmly into the haters category with Billy well in the lead.

We started off very nicely. Bud recognized Catoctin High School for their character development award. He even calls Kirby down to stand with him since this high school is in his district. Mr. Paul Dial, who is retiring as the Chief Administrative Officer, was also recognized for this 20 years of service to the county!

Then things start to get a little dicey. Budget adjustments are voted on and passed 5-2. Let that sink in. Voted on and passed! After they are passed, Kirby says he has questions concerning one of the adjustments. M.C. wasn’t sure how to handle this, since Kirby should have asked to pull the item BEFORE they voted to pass it. Billy then screams out, “Let him ask his questions!” M.C. responds that it is the President’s job to determine what to do to which Billy smirks and says that everyone thought she was running the meeting anyway. Bud then smacks the gavel down and calls Billy out of order. And man, it didn’t take long to get back right where we left off did it?

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Consistency is NOT always a admirable trait!
Back to the budget adjustment. Kirby is questioning the purchase of vehicles. Montevue is getting rid of two smaller wheel chair accessible vans and replacing it with one larger wheel chair accessible bus. So, Kirby uses this chance to grandstand about Montevue and how it’s going to drain every last cent out of the county’s coffers. Well, well, well, what’s that Rick Harcum? This money is coming from a self sufficient fund in which the tax payers don’t have to pay anything? Well, Kirby still wants to know what will happen WHEN that fund fails, to which Harcum replies that he doesn’t have an answer to that because he doesn’t see that happening.

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Kirby then has some questions about some other vehicles, but when he finds out that they all have over 100,000 miles  he simply replies, “Okay. That’s fine.” By some further conversation on this subject we are made aware of the fact that these vehicles had already been approved in the 2017 budget. That sounds familiar doesn’t it?

Billy votes against approving the minutes (he did this with the agenda as well), nobody wants any new workshop items added so we are off to Billy’s one and only bill.

Bud starts off by asking Billy if he has any comments to which Billy replies, ” I moved to approve…”. Billy then asks if anyone has come up with any amendments to his bill. You see folks, Billy thinks that he has so graciously allowed his fellow council members time to modify his bill. In reality, he was trying to get them to do his work for him.  This turns out to be a giant trap, however, because since they didn’t add anything it allows Billy the opportunity to tell them all that they don’t care about businesses in Frederick County. Billy also, at least four times, informs us that since NASCAR could open up a racetrack in the General Commercial (GC) district, then this business, that clearly is not allowed to operate in the GC, should be allowed to. How does that logic suit y’all?

What’s that Tony? You have put forth your own bill that isn’t as “overreaching” as Billy’s?RUH-ROH! Well, it seems as though Tony actually researched this problem, talked to the Town of New Market and has written a bill that M.C. describes as more of ” a scalpel than a sledgehammer.” Billy is not happy about any of this. When M.C. explains to Billy that it is very irresponsible to introduce legislation that you know will have to be fixed later, and brings up the 17 month process it took to formulate a good solar bill as an example, Billy shouts out that it was ABSURD. Really absurd to take your time to make a good piece of legislation, I mean it’s ludicrous people! Remember this part, gentle readers, for at the end Billy will contradict himself. His solution to the problem of other mulch businesses setting up shop in the GC district is that the County Executive can simply issue a moratorium. No problem!

He then lays into Tony. Even though Tony very nicely compliments him, Billy tells him that he doesn’t care about a business in his own district because if he did he would vote for this bill.  The solution is right in front of you Tony! Never mind the fact that the planning commission unanimously voted against this AND it would allow any mulching business to set up shop in the GC district. But NASCAR!

The tantrum isn’t over yet, though it’s so very clear this bill is dead. Billy lets us all know that in the GC district not only could NASCAR set up a race track, but so could:

-Stone cutters

-A bus depot

-An auction to sell large animals

-A zoo

And what does any of this matter? This business was clearly operating in a zone in which it was not supposed to, on a piece of land that they don’t even own! The planning commission hates this bill, the town of New Market hates it and look what the FNP reported that the owner of this business said after this very meeting last night:

“Outside the council chambers, Rick Bussard said he’d not had any problems with the county since the issue first came to light; county planning officials told the council in July that the business had received a courtesy violation and was not accruing fines.”

So, Billy’s hysterics aside it seems as though we can all wait and see what Tony’s bill has to say before making a YUGE mistake by changing what businesses can operate in the GC district. Kirby, who tells Billy that he did a very good job on this bill, is the only one who joins him in voting for this.

We feel the need to admonish Billy here. Not only because he did a very bad job in writing this bill or getting anyone else’s input on it, but also because of his attitude. Besides Kirby, no one is going to be willing to work on anything with him because of the insulting, immature way he treats others. In case you were never taught this Billy, study the old adage that you catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.

 

There is  a vote to go into closed session to interview people and you can guess who votes no.

No public comment tonight!!

Kirby and Jerry both have nice things to say. Then it’s Billy’s turn. Remember when we told you earlier to remember that he said that the County Executive could simply issue a moratorium if too many mulching operations set up shop in the GC zone? Well, forget about it! He now wants us to remember when Jan did put a moratorium on solar panel farms and how very horrible and destructive that policy was! Billy once again informs us that the outlook for business is bleak in the county. Contrary to what is actually happening in our county mind you.

Jessica and M.C. end things nicely and we have to be back here next week.

In September, we will see if Billy can swallow his pride to support Tony’s bill. Shall we start taking bets?

This summer isn’t slowing down! Your 7-11 drinking guide.

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Not you friends! Shrelauter!

The county council is back and ready to legislate! Well, some of them are. The agenda is chock full of public hearings! Including one on Billy’s very first bill that is designed to allow one business to continue wood chipping where they should not! We noticed that Frederick Magazine had a cocktail contest in this month’s edition. In honor of some local Frederick concoctions, we will use their list for this month’s game. Do remember this game is only for fun, and it is oh so easy to dehydrate one’s self on these hot summer days.

We start off with budget adjustments, county executive appointments, and a vote on the changed council rules. If we cannot get through these mundane, simple items without an abstain slam back a tall Mysterious Ways.

Next up are three hearings on bills before the council. We have one regarding antique, artisan and craft shops. Another regarding the Frederick County retirement plan, and the last one on Billy’s wood waste bill. While we are pleased that Billy finally put something forward, though we are sure he didn’t write it himself, do we really change all the rules for one business? But what the heck, mix up a tall pitcher of The Rascal, for some effort on Shreve’s part.

Lastly, we come to public and council member comment.  This is where things usually go straight to hell in a hand basket. Get yourself an old barrel and prepare many, many quarts of Fredneck Punch  and drink at will!

How many things can Shrelauter get wrong in a week? Is there a word bigger than infinity?

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This is a recurring question, isn’t it?

When one scrolls through Facebook, it is to see what one’s friends and family members are up to. One might catch a cute cat pic, catch up on the crazy land that is today’s world, or stalk an ex. However, it offends one’s senses to see one of Kirby’s sponsored posts in thine feed!

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Alright you dolt, let’s talk about this situation, shall we? Despite Trump’s proclamations that millions, that’s right millions, of people voted illegally in the last Presidential election, there is NO proof that such a thing ever occurred. Take a moment to read through, and click the links, on this very informative article written by The Brennan Center for Justice.  This whole voter fraud claim doesn’t hold any water.

We would like to see Kirby’s evidence that there are non-citizens on Frederick County voter rolls! Can he back that claim up? Or does he just expect everyone to believe him like his hero Trump does? To us, Brian Frosh is a hero, as are the other over 40 attorney generals nation-wide who are refusing to comply with this request.  Despite what the Trumpettes may tell you, the administration asked for much more that what is on the public record. For if that were the case, why would they even have to ask? The information is already out there! If you haven’t seen AG Frosh’s response, it really is a work of art:

“As Attorney General, I take seriously my responsibility to protect the voting rights and privacy interests of Maryland citizens. I find this request for the personal information of millions of Marylanders repugnant; it appears designed only to intimidate voters and to indulge President Trump’s fantasy that he won the popular vote. Repeating incessantly a false story of expansive voter fraud, and then creating a commission to fuel that narrative, does not make it any more true. There is no evidence that the integrity of the 2016 election in Maryland – or any other state- was compromised by voter fraud. I urge Governor Hogan and the State Board of Elections to speak out against this effort and to reject any further attempt to intimidate voters and obtain their personal information.
I will continue to take all necessary steps to protect the private personal information of Maryland voters and the integrity of Maryland’s voting process.”

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Here we were thinking that our Federal institutions would be the ones that would most effectively weather this storm. But, maybe, just maybe, it’s our State institutions that will best protect our rights.

Since we are such gluttons for punishment, we clicked on over to Kirby’s candidate Facebook page and were met with some other “interesting posts”:

 

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Wait a minute…he really doesn’t know that he and Billy are the part of the swamp that needs to be drained? Oh dear.

AND…

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The path we fear is the one our county would take under a Kirby Delauter administration.

We can’t leave the first half of Shrelauter out of this post, as much as we know you would like us to, for he’s also being a dummy on social media:

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Now, we know that Billy is very upset over Friend of the Yokel Stan Mordensky being appointed to said board.  But, as we all know by now, this board was mandated by the State of Maryland! Not by Jan! And who should know that more than an elected official from Frederick County!? So tired of this willful ignorance these two play to try and get their flimsy agenda across! Keep diligent, folks, the wordsmithing from these two is very likely to get much, much worse over the next few months.

Finally evidence of that libertarian utopia you’ve been dreaming of. Your updated summer reading list.

Or not. Your yokels stumbled on this treatise of what happens when a super conservative town runs out of money and starts to cut services. Utopia right????

Well check it out here.

It may or may not turn out exactly like you would expect.

How about our Shrelauter? BTW it Is expensive to clean up your “lights out” style messes, and then you complain when responsible people do just that. So exhausperating (yes we made that word up for our fools).

World of NO, Shrelauter and clown. We need brains.

FFS. There’s a difference between “your balls” and “you’re balls,” you BALLS. This is your official Councilman Facebook page. Please try and keep up with fourth grade in this space, if you want to make grown man plans.

Guess what, jerk-face. We cashed those checks and donated to charities providing for the people you kicked in the BALLS, where a $100 donation will do a lot more than buy one dinner out. Disgusting. Trying to buy a vote with $100. Bless David Gray (R-easonable) for having some class and leaving his name off of that letter. These crass simpletons. You know who noticed the reduced workforce?! The 20% who lost their livelihood, you collection of scrotal tissues.

BTW, “legal tax payers” should know that even undocumented workers pay taxes. And then receive little in return. It’s a genius scam. What loathsome testes you all are.

You should all go to this page and comment. It’s your 1A Right. Make sure you document with a screen grab in case you need the ACLU to stop him from silencing you on his official minion of the scary scary government that he hates page.

Women for Kirby now has line of attire for mythical creatures

Fake news!
Lame! Sad!

Egad, y’all. Kirby has a shirt that looks like a Lego Friends ad for his CE campaign. It is fuchsia and has a stylized purple daisy on it, symbolizing sexism. We are super excited for the unveiling of his Men for Kirby shirt, which we guess will be blue and we hope has a Hot Wheels, or a Spiderman, or a Thor, or some other boy nonsense, instead of probably a handgun. Have a look.

This almost makes us miss his Massengil themed page.

 

The worst public commenter in the history of forever. The end.

The bulk of last night’s meeting is unfortunately going to get lost in one lady’s theatrics. Theatrics that we are oh so sure were orchestrated by Shrelauter. The only consolation being that one was the total number of people who answered their call to beat up on Bud. Click here to watch this hot mess for yourself!

So this angry lady, who has been before the council in the past to yell at Bud for not being the kind of Republican she thought he should be, is VERY, VERY ANGRY! Her litany of complaints against Bud include the very serious charges of:

  • Picnicking with Bernie Sanders supporters.
  • Not cutting taxes to her satisfaction
  • Not aligning himself with Shrelauter and thereby becoming a lap dog of a woman who (and this is the lady pedaling these rumors) has affairs at La Paz.

She calls Bud a scoundrel. We can’t help but wonder if Billy is going to start yelling civility code, but then we remember that is very situational for him. She concludes her tirade with some gifts for Bud!

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A potted plant because Bud just sits there and a yellow tie for cowardice! Really, lady, if you are going to use props at least TRY to be witty. This is just really poorly done! It was not totally lost on us that she seems a lot like a woman scorned. Is this a situation of unrequited love? We love to speculate about our characters…

 

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Oprah knows how to give things away!!

Thankfully she was followed by local hero and Rational Republican Matt Seubert, who called her comments exactly what they were: LOW CLASS!

Billy decides to vote against the agenda and abstain on the budget adjustments, again.

There are two nice presentations from the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments and Livable Frederick.

There is some discussion regarding changing county council rules and things get a little dicey. Billy and Kirby are all confused as to why the council can’t have good, productive discussions and we have to try really hard not to throw our computers out the window. It’s truly amazing the lack of insight some people have.

The two bills pass and then we are back to public comment. And sigh:

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You can’t see it but she’s holding up her cell phone!

The VERY mad lady is back. In the true high drama fashion that she seems to enjoy, with a recording of Bud…which she plays into the microphone. Bud tries to object, since the comments aren’t hers but a voice recording of him, to which Billy yells 1st amendment! This lady is truly obsessed with Bud and how he allegedly wronged her in every way imaginable. We would encourage you dear readers, to email Mr. Otis at botis@FrederickCountyMD.gov, so when she and her ilk PIA all his email they can see your praise!

We roll on into Council Member Comments, which is again divided into Haters v. Boosters (and this seems to be more the difference in the frequent 4-3 split than partisanship, if you notice the tone of the comments section). Kirby gripes awhile in an effort to criticize Bud, and also because Matt Seubert said he was not a fiscal conservative. Ironically part of this griping includes a claim that tax dollars are rolling in but they don’t even spend them. He fixated on a bridge that he supposes they aren’t having to pay maintenance on right now. It’s a weird kind of logic. Plus, later Jessica Fitzwater clarifies that the TIF rolls future taxes over to the developer for community improvement projects, and so Kirby is not a common tax and tax and tax and don’t spend conservative? Also he tells us that he didn’t vote for charter government, which is weird because we don’t remember any public criticism of it until he had to live with its effects.

Jerry likes ice cream. (But seriously, the creamery sounds cool) Jerry also likes Middletown, and talks about positive stuff in the community.

Billy (and his old BOCC) takes credit for the creamery. Also Billy wants to complain about Bud and leadership and point fingers. Also Billy did not favor charter government. Who knew????!!! Seriously, if you all knew all this and nobody ever told us, we are gonna be upset. Why was this a secret? huh? Billy speculates that Jessica called the ACLU on the sheriff, to which he is refuted.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer declines to discuss the hooey, but does acknowledge the elephant in the room. She also talks about a bunch of cool stuff happening in the community. If you have summer guests arriving, look into the Whiskey Tasting and the Jazz Festival.

Bud says nice stuff and is nice again and doesn’t even get mad at the haters. He simply notes, “You can tell that the election campaign is heating up, and that’s fine,” since everyone is going to have their opportunity to tell the truth.

Is Matt Seubert going to run for something? We like the cut of his jib.

2017 Summer Reading List

School will soon be back in session and your thoughts are surely turning to how to fill the rest of your free time while your kids are in their last summer camps and what am I going good to do with all these kids all the rest of our free time??? Never fear, your Yokels have some […]

School is out and your thoughts are surely turning to how to fill your extra long summer break with mind enriching books, or trashy beach reads to keep you from crying about the state of our nation. Regardless, your Yokels have some summer reading suggestions.

This is our third,  yes third, summer list. We are so sorry to say that we are going to have to modify a suggestion that has appeared on our last 2 lists.

 

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We have begged Billy to read this for 2 years now. We give up. Please just read the Cliff Notes version. Or get the audiobook version.

 

New for this summer:

Hey, we have lots of folks around here who are trying this one!

 

 

 

Special thanks to Shrelauter for helping out on this one.

 

 

You know who this is for.

 

 

And we really hope we don’t need the next book, but it’s better to be prepared.

 

You can get this wherever you shop.

Don’t forget to check out our wonderful local bookstore the Curious Iguana to find all your summer reading needs.

June 6th frazzled mommy recap

We were all busy last night, because at this time of year all moms are required to be in seven places at once. The FNP has good information about the important stuff that happened last night (and if you can’t read that because you aren’t subscribing to the paper, read this). We will just round things out with the gossip column details.

Tony Chmelik ducked out because he has relatives in town in celebration of his son’s wedding. Congratulations to the Chemliks and best wishes to the young couple. Lucky of Councilman Chmelik to have a solid reason to bounce, because the archives say that meeting is six hours long…and so we are just gonna trust the real news this week.

#KirbyDelauter gave kudos to Billy for his wood recycling bill, which is very important grown up legislating that he is finally getting around to on behalf of his constituents.

Look who’s gotten their boobies!

He also talked about illegal dumping and how that happens when fees are too high, which is possibly true (or also because some fools are lazy). Riddle me this, dingdong. How would we pay for it without “too high” fees? Spoiler alert: the answer is TAXES. And you hate those, so…illegal dumping it is?

Jerry Donald said nice things about Middletown’s 250th anniversary and what is being done in recognition of that, and also working together with the town for economic development in downtown Brunswick. He explained that his earlier vote against the water and sewer decision was based upon the timing falling during what we will call the “lame duck” period. He then reiterated his support for the bill that would limit this type of decision making.

Billy Trumpeter Shreve had an argument against that. Something like the other folks who did the decidering were also elected representatives, but as an UberTrumpet he is consistently a hypocrite, and Gorsuch/Garland–months and months ahead of the lame duck stage and still we had to wait for our new moronic overlords–so la di da. And now we’re dancing. Then he attacked Bud and the functioning of the council and how nobody gets to speak anymore, which seems weird since they added those extra public comments segments. The ones that people don’t so much seem to be coming to–although we certainly do not object to the opportunity not to have to listen to them until 0 Dark Thirty before you get your three minutes. And we think that was at Billy’s behest, so don’t say we never have anything positive to say about him! The numerous aggrieved people he described were upset about water runoff, which coming from a hater of fees destined to mitigate water runoff issues also seems like it should be filed in the “none of Shrelauter’s concern” box. Trumpeter Syndrome strikes again.

Jessica Fitzwater had words of congratulations for graduates of all stripes: high school seniors and fire and rescue recruits alike. She also highlighted that the Frederick region was recently named 8th in a list of the top 10 most vibrant arts communities in America. She also remarked upon celebrating the giving spirit of Frederick County with the United Way last week. It’s interesting to note how differently these people speak about the communities they live in. The boosters versus the haters.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer talked about numerous cool things happening (booster!). Teddy Bear Picnic at Everedy Square and Shab Row, FCC Kids on Campus, Barnstomers Tour (tickets available at the Visitor’s Center on East St.), Alive at Five, and family movie nights on Caroll Creek. Worth a Google for details on any of those.

And finally Bud explained that Billy’s real problem is that he still doesn’t know that there is a County Executive and he is not an administrator any more but a legislator, and the whole system has changed. He was very polite and patient about it, which is simply amazing, since it is only the eleventybillionth time this has come up since the charter government was formed.

Fade to black.