Hey, last night Tony Chmelik decided that Kai Hagen is full of propaganda and that CNN is the reason everyone is scared of the coronavirus and we have bigly questions.

In no particular order:

• Did CNN entice Ted Cruz to self-quarantine? (If so, we have definitely not been giving CNN enough credit for their fine, albeit obnoxious, services.)
• Did Italy decide to quarantine 16 million people because CNN thinks the coronavirus is dangerous?
• Have you seen your “I love Trump; he’s good for my 401K” today? (psssst. Trading halted this morning right out of the gate. Gasp! Is CNBC powerless to stop the evil that CNN has wrought upon us? )
• Does anyone think there could be a correlation between public confidence in the administration and 700 vacancies at the CDC and/or the fact that T-Rump fired the pandemic response team? (spoiler alert: HELL YES.)
• Is everyone thrilled Tony Chmelik does not make policy decisions for this fine county this morning? (again: HELL YES.)

Also. Wuhan looks like a place with practically no modern amenities? Uhhhhh. No.

Yes, we are experiencing big moods this morning. We must extend our most courteous thanks to Tony Chmelik for volunteering as tribute so that we may handle these “Everything is terrible all the time” feelings. It is partially his fault, after all. 

Silver linings available here:

Good morning!

It’s going to be an insane week.

Hang on tight and try to focus on what really matters:

Ted Cruz is quarantined.

— andy lassner (@andylassner) March 9, 2020

Vote for smart people. The end.