Tag: Billy Shreve

The Twitter Feeds of Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb.

fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Every few days we check the social media accounts of our favorite local characters. Not only Facebook, but Twitter as well. Boy did we find some jewels today. Lets’s begin with #kirbydelauter:

Isn’t it comforting to know Kirby is totally fine electing a man accused of assaulting and persuing underage girls, and who was dismissed from the Alabama Supreme Court TWICE to the U.S. Senate just so he can get a few thousand dollars back on his taxes? He is literally willing to have a sexual predator serve in the U.S. Senate as long as his wallet is a tad bit greener. What a peach!

The second retweet from Dan Bongino is also very interesting. Especially considering fellas like Kirby are always screaming about the overreach of the federal government. Guess all that federal overreach doesn’t apply when it comes to their precious guns. Pew! Pew!

Now onto Tweedle Dumb. We have no idea in the world what this is about:

If anyone can clear this up, please send us a line. And, it appears as though Shrelauter have started the Dan Bongino fan boyz club!

Not sure who thinks this guy is worthy of an award. Considering this is how he behaves. Plus, he can’t seem to win an election.

Finally, Mr. Ski Instructor is all fine and dandy with the President giving away public lands:

This all begs the question, is there anything that Trump can do that will turn Shrelauter against him? Sure seems as though they are drinking the kool aid to the very last drop.

December 5th Meeting: Part 2 is almost all good except when Krampus shows up at the end

fclocalyokel4 Comments

The good part of the meeting concerned the Veterans Affairs Council. Many eloquent and distinguished people–most, if not all, of whom are veterans themselves–came to talk about the beneficial things such a council could accomplish for the many veterans in our community. It was truly a testament to the goodness of mankind in a week where most sane people have been wondering if and when we would see such benevolence again. (Guess who is going to harsh the vibe? You know, right? You do.)

The Ghost of General Burnside Judge Scott Rolle spoke of what he has witnessed firsthand in his courtroom to say that it would be good to have a  centralized way to locate resources for veterans: help with jobs, housing, counseling, what have you. Awesome. And we’re just kidding about the facial hair. It looks cool.

The next speaker also spoke of the need to have something “be the connective tissue,” especially for those who are impacted by physical or mental costs from their service. We so agree. This seems very similar to the discussion with regard to the needs of human trafficking victims, but we realize this issue will receive uncontroversial support, whereas we have heard about how some people are not opposed to human trafficking, and yes we will keep bringing it up whenever we can tie anything at all to it, because there are also mental and physical costs to being enslaved and sold.

Anyway, we are getting persnickety again, and really it was a heartwarming discussion that (thank you Craig Tyler—tip of the tricorn here) also emphasized that some of us chose to settle here in Frederick County and make roots, and we do so because the community is engaged and caring, and has good governance as a result of an active community that sees a need and does something about it. Another speaker mentioned that government can do more than disjointed groups or individuals. Hallelujah. Some people do recognize the purpose of “we the people” promoting the general welfare and all of that Founding Fathers forming a more perfect union jazz.

We particularly appreciated the Retired Lieutenant Colonel and Iraq veteran from the Marine Corps who spoke specifically about not forgetting women veterans, who have higher rates of both homelessness and suicide, and people tend to think of the veterans as males.

Absolutely everyone who spoke made excellent points, and we appreciate your service to your country and your continued service in this community. This was an inspiring process to watch, and that was a true privilege today.

There was also a discussion on rezzzzzzzzzzzzzoning. We cannot promise we will revisit that, even though it looked as though it may have been one of the better such discussions you could want to hear.

Then the regular nice people were nice, although Bud was testy, which he has been lately…for some odd reason. And in honor of December 5th, nasty old Krampus Billy showed up at the end to get all cranky about commenters not being civil and say we should do away with the code of civility since no one cares about it. Newsflash: disagreeing with Billy is not uncivil. It’s a sign of sanity (that was uncivil, but we don’t even feel bad). Seriously, we assume he was referring to the public comments criticizing people who are rude to county employees, and if he took that is a personal attack, there must be some reason he might have thought it was directed at him.

Nikolaus krampus.jpg

 

 

 

 

Photo credit: By unknown, not stated in the source – http://anno.onb.ac.at/cgi-content/anno?apm=0&aid=wrb&datum=18961206&zoom=2 “Wiener Bilder” 6/12/1896, Public Domain, Link

 

 

Remedial workshop

fclocalyokelLeave a comment

We’ve been slowly digesting the post-Thanksgiving workshop from Tuesday like leftover turkey and dressing, but a lot less tasty. The overarching theme this week is: if you build houses, you will also need roads for the drivers and schools for the kids living in them. This fact is so glaringly obvious that it is difficult to understand why you would need a very, very long workshop for it, but how else will Billy Shreve attempt to set up a gotcha trap while actually possessing nothing?

Some of our observations include, in no particular order:

Janice Spiegel is exactly as awesome as everyone says she is. She presents an interesting tool for anticipating growth from the known approved housing in the pipeline. In spite of all the hypotheticals, she must reiterate continuously that she has not prepared a budget document, and does not predict a timeline for this. Simply the issue is if you build all those houses, people will live in them, so heads up. It’s a completely new concept for the two critters who helped approve those developments, Aside: when other people see Blaine stuck in all the traffic, are you as tempted as we are to roll down the window and scream at him, “This is your fault, you ridiculous fool! And also, Dog the Bounty Hunter called and he wants his outfit back!”

Billy and Kirby and Tony are dumbasses
There was a more polite meme that just said idiot, but we are not in the more polite mood today.

Tony Chmelik’s questions seem to imply that it is silly to focus on geographic regions. Would he recommend redistricting your kids like Newton’s Cradle every year, any time they could hunt down an empty seat to stick them in, just, “tok-tok-tok, all fixed; we’ll move you back next year when there’s an empty seat here, probably?” Would he send kids from his neighborhood to Libertytown, even knowing they will be stuck on the other side of a truck wedged under the CSX bridge 3 out of every 5 weekdays?

Billy and Tony and Kirby are dumb

Kirby Delauter can manage to behave himself. It was so weird. Kampaigning Kirby disagrees quite respectfully (until he gets all worked up about Jan Gardner, and then he returns to his ranty man thing). Kirby “The Sky is Falling” Delauter worked really hard to minimize the impact of the development pipeline and acted like everyone else (Jan) is the problem. The actual problem is that 800 more kids showed up for school this year than had been predicted, so perhaps it is not over-erestimating that is the real danger here. The actual problem is that this pyramid scheme where development theoretically increases the tax base so that you can build roads and schools by starting construction of those some number of years after you build houses that people move into is a patently ridiculous idea that will make everyone miserable, and also make the property values not very attractive.

Billy Shreve wants to reinvent the wheel. Billy wants to know how they predict the number of kids, and birthrate patterns, and Millenials and elders don’t seem to have babies. It wasn’t presented at all with the degree of snark we think it merits, but it sure sounds like the state is actually able to inform about the number of babies that are born in a given year, and then add 5 years to extrapolate for kindergarteners.

We are tired. We are sorry for not saying anything nice about the nice people who did nice things and tried to promote the less academically able up the levels of Bloom’s Taxonomy. It has been too dramatic a week for your average news junkie, so. G’night.

Remember that some people are for it and some are against it

fclocalyokel1 Comment

And no, we are not talking about the downtown hotel. Notice that we never talk about that? It’s because y’all are nuts. You decide which of y’all we mean. We’ll pop the popcorn. We are talking about something much more disturbing than that, and that is: human trafficking.

Does anybody remember the name of that guy who was in charge of the Trump campaign in Frederick County? He is currently on our County Council, but since he never does anything worth talking about, we’ve practically forgotten he exists. Apparently someone said that that guy is not going to run for reelection, and instead intends to do battle with Ron Young for his seat in the State Senate? Worst Wii game ever. This guy (a.k.a. King of the Deplorables) once argued against the need for a task force on human trafficking, because some people are in favor of it. Who was that? It’s something like Timmy Reeve or Bobby Sleeve or something.

King of the Deplorables

We were just thinking about that guy and his “ideas,” because of this one weird trick connection the Trump campaign has to child sex trafficking. In an epic “doth protest too much” maneuver, the same team that set out to do violence in defense of Hillary’s imaginary basement pizza parlor child sex slaves is really apparently sometimes in favor of child sex trafficking, if the Trump campaign chair in Oklahoma is any indication…Be warned, the story is really quite upsetting. Yeah, we do actually know that our local chucklehead has virtually nothing to do with this, but we will simply never get over his glib statement acknowledging unremorsefully that some people are fine with this. Who does that? Oh, yeah. We remember now: Billy Shreve.

Billy is an idiot.
The Frederick County Republican Party must be so proud of this darling wing nut.

#neverforget

Too busy to attend Billy’s senate kickoff? WATCH THIS!

fclocalyokel2 Comments

Are you super bummed that you weren’t able to attend Billy’s senate kick-off? Perhaps you needed to clean those dust bunnies from under your bed? Or perhaps you just wanted to do literally anything else rather than watch someone who can’t handle the responsibilities of being a county councilman try to convince us that he’ll make a super state senator? Whatever the reason, never fear! There’s a video of the night’s festivities! And it is awesome. But, not in the way Billy wants it to be!

 

Click the video to watch! And why does Bongino keep coming back here? Hasn’t he gotten the hint yet?

The best parts are Billy trying to explain why he’s qualified, Billy thanking the NRA representative for “doing a great job”, and Blaine channeling his inner David Hasselhoff to tell us all why Billy is such a great fella. There’s also some Washington County candidates and Frederick County Council candidate Dylan Diggs asking for support. Not sure why these fellas think it’s wise to hitch their wagon to Billy’s fading career.  Y’all may want to create some distance soon!

Also, what we noticed is who wasn’t there. Not one fellow council member, not even Kirby! Could it be that #kirbydelauter doesn’t want his campaign for CE tainted by Billy’s nonsense? Just asking questions!

Billy Shreve has biglig aspirations in Annapolis, is mostly full of B.S.

fclocalyokel4 Comments

Locals, you are in for a real treat. In order to give Trump a voice in Annapolis, Shreve tells this audience that he’s leaving the Council (yay!) and running for State Senate (boooooooooo). His campaign slogan is “Trump Annapolis,” which kind of makes it sound like Trump is running for governor in Maryland. The actual governor of Maryland, Larry Hogan, was at least perceptive enough to distance himself from L. Don Trumpard by telling everyone he did not support him, and judging by this past Tuesday that is probably going to continue to be a wise choice. That stank don’t wash off easy. Wisdom is not Billy’s strong suit, though. Just you wait…

This all went down at this campaign fundraiser that sounds like hell on Earth, headlined by the illustrious loser of the previous 6th District Congressional race and loser of a Republican party Congressional primary in Florida and loser of the Senate race for the seat that Ben Cardin holds: Dan Bongino. This event was benefitting Shreve, County Council District 1 candidate Dylan Diggs and Delegate Mike McKay. According to the Frederick News Post, Shreve has not actually filed yet, but still…and this is where it gets good.

He thinks he and his compadres (the one who cannot math or flow chart, and the hooker aficionado) are more distinguished and accomplished than the Founding Fathers. We are not making this up.

“There’s no one else besides the guys that served with me that can ever say they did anything that monumental. Even the Founding Fathers, they just started a new government, they didn’t change an old one,” Shreve said.

“Now here’s a little story I’ve got to tell
About three bad brothers you know so well. It started way back in history with Blaine Young, K.D., and me (Billy Shreve).”

Can you even imagine if they were dropped into the Constitutional Convention, or even the after parties at the City Tavern–a la Bill & Ted, what the general opinion would have been of these tools?

There’s more, but after that covfefe, does any of the rest of it even matter?

Billy is totally full of covfefe
San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Warning: Kirby’s fiscal side has made an appearance

fclocalyokel1 Comment

Thank goodness that was quick. We want to focus on election returns. Kirby mucked around in the budget adjustments because the numbers for a foot bridge in Point of Rocks didn’t feel right to him, since it is a pre fab bridge that will cost $40,000 to design. The answer to the mystery is that erosion (which is science) means they need expensive concrete footers and stream management matters upstream to protect private property and also this footbridge. It must have been a mighty battle up in Kirby’s cavernous noggin–private property needs to be protected by public expenditures. In the end he feels better, math and research having taken absolutely no part in the grandstanding process.

Tony’s taking back his homeschool team sports bill for further tinkering to make sure it is done right.

Bud Otis did a last minute introduction of a bill for a Veterans Advisory Council addition as a First Reading Calendar. It sounds good because it would help the 17,000 veterans living in our community find the resources that they need. It caused a little strife between him and M.C. Keegan-Ayer because it wasn’t added to the agenda before yesterday and that’s not really fair to us the public, even though he obviously wanted to do this before Veterans’ Day. Bud asserts that the rules let him, because he is the President. Rules are different for presidents, as we all now well know (he isn’t making that up like that other guy would–the rule actually is different). During Council Member comments, Jessica Fitzwater points out that she likes to share the agenda via social media the weekend before the meeting, and if it’s not in there it’s not in there, whether it is allowed or not. We concur. How can you take a drink for a bill if there’s no bill? We have all been deprived.

M.C. Keegan Ayer moved to table indefinitely the thingamabobber about recreational facilities in PUD/MDX–which would have been decided upon today–after having discussed the plan with our esteemed County Executive.

Meaning that with this meeting was mostly quick, although it did require you to have some of those Holiday Mules per our drinking game for multiple questions that are more of a comment. Again with the Bridge to Terabithia Jefferson Tech Park, Kirby expresses suspicions about numbers being inaccurate, but he’s exploring a lot of feelings. If you say numbers you sound smart. In reality there is not enough information in his speech to do this word problem he is rambling about, so perhaps the Waffle House Press Secretary will discuss this in a briefing.

Kirby's Plan
If your goal as a fiscal conservative is to figure out if x is less than y, it is generally helpful to know the value of both x and y.

We wonder if there’s any way to find out any of these figures Kirby has feelings about. Maybe we should take it out of Billy’s playbook and send it as a legislative priority for the delegation in Annapolis to focus on next year, like it’s a hot dog stand with unknown challenges to opening. If you’re new here, that’s an inside joke. And a thing that Billy wanted to have happen, IRL. Probably they have no other choices, since they don’t have a staff (a note Bud Otis hits on during Council Member comments, and it stings just a little to hear Bud echo Billy, y’all).

The rest of the Council comments pretty normally about community minded things. Tony Chmelik offered a Happy Birthday for November 10th to the U.S. Marine Corps, and M.C. Keegan-Ayer acknowledged and commended our veterans. Jessica Fitzwater talked about the Veterans’ Day event. Bud Otis waxed patriotic and also distanced himself a bit from the County Executive and we think we see where this is all going in advance of 2018. And then Billy chucked up all of his PIA related complaints and assorted ailments. It’s really hard to take him seriously after all we have endured with him thus far, so we cannot even begin to fathom that he could have any valid points.

Class dismissed.

Idiot alert, or worse? You be the judge.

fclocalyokel3 Comments
Derp
Integrity shouldn’t be hard.

If you are a parent, you know you can’t always get your children to do something you request. So we may have some sympathy for that. But, that’s where the sympathy ends.

Check out this post from The Frederick Extra.  Bryan Chaney, candidate for city alderman, forged his daughter’s name on an application for an absentee ballot.

He claims he didn’t realize he made a mistake. We here at the Yokel claim BS.

There are a few options here about how to categorize his behavior.

1. He really did not know that he couldn’t just sign her name.

2. He knew he couldn’t,  but he did it anyway.

3. He purposefully did it.

Are any of these good reasons? Nope!

1. If he didn’t know this was wrong, how could he possibly be a good candidate for office?

2. If he knew it was wrong and did it anyway, how could he possibly be a good candidate for office?

3. HOW COULD HE BE A GOOD CANDIDATE FOR OFFICE?

BONUS ROUND: If Councilman Billy Shreve thinks he’s a good candidate for office, how could he possibly be a good candidate for office?

The stench of Deploramoron is intense.
Dummy endorses dummy for dumb reason.

He cannot possibly be a good candidate for office for reasons such as he expects us to believe that there are no printers or scanners at West Virginia University, according to his “brilliant” social media video.

As we tell our children,  if we can’t trust your actions on the small stuff (knowing forgery is wrong is pretty basic), how can we trust you on the big stuff?

Oh, and that distraction about it would have been ok for him to sign if he had filled out the paperwork if he were her agent,  but he can’t be her agent because he is a candidate, blah, blah, blah, why is this so hard?? Again, if you can’t figure this stuff out, are you seriously going to be a good alderman?

We are just asking the question. You can answer it by how you cast your vote.

 

9ba49952cfde98c85758bfa99fdbefbb--wine-o-wine-corks.jpg

Legislative priorities: moonshine & mobile home edition

fclocalyokelLeave a comment

It’s that time of year when Frederick County decides what they want the State of Maryland to accomplish. Always fun, because it allows our Council bookends to get creative with their fantasy lives.

 

 

Our current favorite is Billy Shreve’s (failed) proposal that mobile homes be sold as real property and not as vehicles. Here is the best way to explain why it ain’t never gonna happen: what mortgage lender would find it in their interest to make a loan where the collateral can be up and VROOM VROOM coal-rolled right off into the sunset? He had another one about exemptions from the Forest Resource Ordinance that fell flat due to insufficient information provided. Why can’t they have a staff to understand things for him, freeing him from the obligations of his job?

Jerry Donald FTW with a measure to deregulate the liquor industry (if you click on the FNP link up above they say it’s come about because of something impacting a Brunswick brewery). YEEHAW! The current code does not allow smaller banquet facilities–those with less than a quarter of a million dollars invested in non real estate type stuff–to have a liquor license. Donald points out that this seems to be a measure to eliminate competition. Look, we’re all Republicans on this one. More competition! Oh wait, when was the last time a Republican busted up a monopoly? Never mind then. Still not Republicans.

Modest hat tip to hoodie clad and newly beardless Tony Chmelik (we get the feeling he was under the weather with that awful thing going around, and boy do we sympathize: get well soon, Mr. Chmelik!) for moving his school related priority through the Board of Ed. ICYMI, he wants homeschoolers to be eligible for county school sports teams. Kudos to him for being the lone current Republican of the Council who seems to understand how processes and procedures best work.

Y’all aren’t going to believe this one. The King of the Deplorables and his buddy (these are Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter, if you’re new here–we’ve written a bit about this particular issue) voted against a position statement favoring providing support to youth victims of human trafficking. Billy interjected a complaint about not knowing what it was until they saw it written out, which becomes ultra weird immediately afterward when…wait, no. It’s already ultra weird. Gross.

Kirby. He had an idea about investigating funding for school resources, so that perhaps funds from the state allocated to one project might be moved to another if they are not used for the one they were intended for. He tried to inexplicably call this a position statement. This already had us furrowing our brows, so when fellow semantics enthusiast Jessica Fitzwater pinpointed the issue we were grateful. More than position statement, this seemed a (likely reasonable) call to investigate. It needs to become a fully fledged idea, and that’s fine–even for Billy–to leave in the hands of Roger Wilson and the County Executive’s office, even though we certainly had the impression that we don’t currently know precisely what it says. Perhaps we should simply be glad for a rare sign of good faith. Passed 7-0, too! Well done! Was this a moment of bipartisan harmony? Perhaps we were hallucinating.

There was what felt like a long hearing about the Forest Resource Ordinance. It had us mostly sawing logs like it was a zoning discussion. We did perk up when Kirby mused about what this was actually protecting and was told that there is a definition of forest and the county and the state use the same one. Guffaw!

That’s yer County Council, folks!

 

Which part of the First Amendment does Shrelauter like?

fclocalyokelLeave a comment

Billy Shreve has been using his social media vocally to criticize the NFL over the past few days. What’s that about? Most likely he’s upset that players are getting horrible degenerative brain diseases caused by repeated concussions. Or maybe this story about the Seahawks’ Michael Bennett chapped his hide and he wants to see some action. Surely it couldn’t have anything to do with peaceful protests or the national anthem. And now, this:

Surely he means to publicly criticize China for curtailing the free exercise of religion.

 

In case a refresher is needed, the First Amendment in the Bill of Rights of the United States Constitution reads:

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.

Since his other half is famous from sea to shining sea for threatening to sue a reporter who used his name–the name of an elected public official–in the newspaper without his permission, we are beginning to wonder what parts of the Bill of Rights they like. Is it just the shoot ’em up part that the NRA likes to quote, but also leaves out some of the words when they do? Aren’t the conservatives the constitutional “originalists?” Which unsurprisingly seems like it’s only a concept held dearly to people who have always been considered 5/5ths of a person.

We would like to leave you with a little music to enjoy on this fine fall day. May we all  remember that America means we pledge daily to the ideals of liberty and justice for all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKvnQYFhGCc