Kirby mischaracterized something? How can this be?

This morning’s Political Notes is chock full of good information. First off, Governor Hogan is commanding each school system come before the next Public Works meeting to beg for school construction money! If the school districts dare not appear then screw all the students in your district! Hogan  said if they do not appear “..they won’t be getting any money”. Even though lawmakers and school officials have asked for this annual “Beg-A-Thon” to stop the governor is going to continue to make you grovel before his divine presence.

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Here’s how State Treasurer Nancy Kopp has characterized these meetings:

Kopp said she agreed with her colleagues about the board’s ultimate authority to approve the school construction funds, but also said the Beg-a-Thon has turned into a “political barrage” and “bullying” in recent years.

Sounds great! Next up in the column is Kirby. At the last council meeting Kirby tried to characterize Jan as some greedy land confiscator. He had a whole list of offenses Jan had committed against the poor citizens of Frederick County. However, he appears to have exaggerated those claims. On the accusation that Jan gobbled up all the land along Route 15 the County Executive had this to say:

She said the 2001 rezoning action was at the Frederick County Planning Commission, and though she was the county commissioners’ liaison to the board, she was at another political event when the U.S. 15 rezonings were voted on. That move by her colleagues on the planning commission ultimately had unintended consequences and was rolled back, she said.

Huh. Well, Kirby can’t be right all the time can he? The new recommendations (that’s right recommendations not a law or Executive Order) concerning the Monocacy River and water buffer zones is what has gotten Kirby all in a pinch. The Monocacy Scenic River Citizens Advisory Board has recommended that properties along the river have a protected water buffer of 300-500 feet. You know to prevent the Monocacy from becoming a simmering cess pool of chemicals and pollutants. Some potentially affected landowners are understandably upset. Nobody likes having to part with their property. And when they have to they should be justly compensated. We need to protect our waterways, even when it upsets some. All interested parties should lay their arguments before the government and said evidence should be weighed with the public good as the ultimate goal. In case you want to read up on the science of what water buffers do here is an informative joint study by Virginia Tech and Virginia State University. We need good, educated discussion with a result that is fair as possible to all parties involved. Not knee jerk statements like this, from someone whose only goal it seems is to be outraged about everything all the time:

“Environmentalism is the new socialism. You know, if you want to take something, just call it environmental. Just call it somehow environmental and everyone’s got to bow down and give up all their rights for that. It’s ridiculous,” Delauter said.

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Take heed! Barbara Fritchie is not a fan of the faux outrage.

Happy? New Year.

Last night’s meeting was uneventfulish.

Bud hopes it will be a productive year. We feel pessimistic. Because of the bookends on the dias (who were oddly quiet, until uncorked at the end).

Normal things happened like Billy voted against the agenda and budget transfers. Aren’t tools supposed to be useful?

Friend of Local Yokel, Patrick Schempp, spoke on several issues and seems to be far more consequential to the proper running of the county than Billy Shreve. Just sayin’.

There was a riveting water and sewer hearing and W4S4 changing to W3S3, or some such.

A proposed small business development real estate tax credit sounded intriguing. This would be for businesses with between 5 and 50 employees on purchase of or expansion of at least 2500 square feet. The tax credit would start at 40% and decrease according to a schedule over time. And they would have to pay 150% of federal minimum wage to their employees, which sounds nice, but still wouldn’t really get you much in the way of livability in urbane Fredneck. However, we are not those sort of philosophers who think, “If you cannot fix everything, why bother doing anything.” (cough…climate change illogic…cough). The program would expire in 2026, although Tony Chmelik seemed inclined to have it continue in perpetuity, because who needs taxes anyway, right?

For the second edition of public commenting a young man (we love to see our youngsters at county meetings) wants to have recycling bins available at summer lunch program centers. Tony suggests they go to another meeting, in a strange attempt to pass the buck. Thankfully  M.C. steps in taking their names and promising to put them in touch with the appropriate person. Thank you M.C.!

Kirby talked for half the meeting it seemed like and to start there was a part where he seemed gracious and as though he spoke with staff he may have a good rapport with, and then spoke knowledgeably about septic system science. In the light of day it seems less mysterious that a person owning and operating a digging business hemmed and hawed about septic tanks and doesn’t just stomp his foot about <<gasp>> regulations. Not to say he made no sense, but still. It’s difficult for us to say he made sense, if you know what we mean.

Oh and who could forget the spin machine we were stuck in that has this story in the newspaper, produced by a newspaper reporter, who reported on the relative salaries of county officials here and elsewhere. This has now become some new government boondoggle talking point, even though it has zilch to do with anyone in the government having said or done anything, and was apparently produced for informational purposes such as local news. It never has to make sense to become a crisis. Special teaflakes strike again.

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Kirby has thankfully found an editorial section that is not biased! And he’s going to take up everyone’s time reading this editor’s accusations.  Kirby is “not sure what’s going on here” and “hope(s) these accusations are unfounded”. However, he’s not going to let whether or not any of this is true stand in his way! No siree bob! What’s all the hullabaloo? Well, remember when M.C. said that she and Bud talked to the County Executive before legislation is introduced? Yeah that.  Must be some sneakiness going on. Thank goodness we have some local heroes with no agenda against Jan, Bud or M.C. on it! We took a peaky poo at the Open Meetings Act and didn’t see anything that would warrant these allegations. However, tis very long and written in legalese so we will have to see what the attorney says. Sounds like the County Council has a few time sucking, tax wasting PIAers on their hands as well.

 

There was more, but I give up, which is awful, because some smart people got shortchanged. If Billy said anything exciting, nobody even knows. You will have to wait for another Local Yokel to let you know.

Oh, but wait! Almost forgot! Jerry Donald likes meeting constituents and is going on a tour, like the rock star that he is.

Can we please stop pretending government serves no purpose? Thanks.
An oldie, but a goodie.

M.C. apologizes for not answering Kirby’s hero editor and promises to do so. Also vows to continue talking to people in the county government in  order to do her job. The county attorney will be issuing an opinion soon on whether or not anything was untoward. We can already predict the answer.

Are you ready to rumble?! It’s your first drinking game of 2017!!!!

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Happy New Year fans of the Yokel!!! We sincerely hope that you had a wonderful holiday season! This afternoon, we will see the first council meeting of  2017. Will Shrelauter turn over a new leaf? Unlikely things will go well since we ended 2016 with Kirby Facebooking some pretty cray cray allegations concerning M.C.  There’s also been some disturbances in the force whispering to us that Kirby may actually write some legislation this year. We suppose that anything is possible! Grab your agenda, warm up that feed to FCGTV and watch your local government in action!! Do remember, these games are only for fun, we need all our Yokels alive and well to vote in the 2018 council election!

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Not holding our breath though!

We start out with public comment. Predicting that no one will show at this first meeting of the new year, but you never know!!! Then we are out of the usual order of things with a public hearing concerning some amendments to the Spring water and sewage plan. If Kirby takes this time to grandstand about returning people’s money who were forced to purchase environmentally sound septic systems slam back a Creamsicle Fizz , allowing the bubbles to transport you to a land far, far away.

Quite a few budget transfers on the agenda. If these go smoothly, hooray! If not, mix up some Angry by the Fire. Can we take this for another two years?

Second reading of the bill to establish a small business real property tax credit. We’ve spoken before how this should be something right down Shrelauter’s alley. But, oh contrarian gods of yore! Those pesky Democrats and minions of the County Executive are behind this! How will this play out? If with predictable mantantrums, have yourself a Pint of Mad Out of It!

One more shot of public comments until we reach the point where what could go wrong will go wrong: council member comments.

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Don’t test us first thing in the new year!

There’s little chance, with such a long break, that there won’t be things to SAY. This is probably a good time to calm down and take a few deep breaths. Maybe grab a nice fruit smoothie, or some calming Ginger Ale or take some Tums or Rolaids. Anything to protect your stomach from what is sure to be some aggravating nonsense.

Let’s bring back the Black List!! What could go wrong?

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In today’s edition of “Guess who wasn’t paying attention in History class” we have this little nugget:

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That’s right folks pass it along!!! According to some criteria that “someone” gets to determine, college professors will be added to a “watchlist”. OOOHHH Scary!!! We love how the American Association of College Professors have reacted to it, because really McCarthy lovers screw you:

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We wish that was all we had to bring you but there is a comment on Kirby’s post that needs attention:

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That’s right!!! ALL Liberal Scum Teachers need to be placed on the list!!! Oh we would love to see the criteria to be placed upon said list! And where’s the watch list for Right Wing Propaganda Professors? Tis only fair!

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So much easier!

It’s at this point that we really must congratulate the voters of Frederick County for keeping this one off the school board! Can you imagine if she had any kind of real power to do such a thing? Jeeze o’flip people!!!

For those of you who praise Putin, want to replace investigative journalism with Twitter and think it’s all find and dandy to black list people, we have this for you:

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Think  before you post people!!

 

Call to Action: respond to First Amendment nemesis #KirbyDelauter

Hey, so we already had words for y’all about local press and freedom of press and what Kirby thinks and how he and his pal Trumpet can stick their Twitter fetish where the sun don’t shine. Please indulge any liberties with the paraphrase. We grow monumentally impatient with these super special teaflakes.

If you didn’t catch it, Sam Bee’s latest Full Frontal (the one with Glenn Beck!!!!) has some harsh to dish out on people who can’t be bothered to notice a local issue because it doesn’t scroll under their nose with their social media headlines (a mission we’ve been endeavoring to remedy). And truly we do recommend that you check out Kirby’s social media. What on Uhhhhrth would we do without that?

And we have called upon you to pay attention to the legitimate media. We believe in being localvores–especially with regard to media consumption. They can’t be the best they can be if you expect them to do their jobs for free. This is our hobby, yo. And as such, we don’t have to do it if we don’t wanna, and we are certainly prepared to say we are not sitting around dreaming up ways to view Shrelauter’s behavior in a kinder light. They are idiotic, petulant children. That’s our story. We’re sticking to it. (Although that does sound like a fascinating mental exercise, trying to put a human [legislative] speed bump up on a pedestal.)

Yummy! Lemonade!
Yummy! Lemonade!

We have a fun suggestion we hope you will like: please make a donation to Katherine Heerbrandt’s web based media outlet, The Frederick Extra. She has years of experience as a journalist, and a great reputation as a fair and competent reporter. Of news. Locally. And we all know through the forces of market competition, the more people out their competing, the better the services should be (to view a contrasting example, note that Comcast has the same user interface it did in 1997). To make it the best possible treat, you could even make that donation in the name of one “esteemed” #kirbydelauter. He’s a national treasure, after all!

That last one’s a link sure worth revisiting, given today’s circumstances…

Way to go, Kirb-o. Never start learnin’.

Kirby proclaims the 4th Estate dead as a doornail!

This year ain’t done with us yet folks!!!! Kirby has taken to his favorite medium to proclaim that said medium is now the way all Americans should get their information:

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What could go wrong?!

First off Donald Trump is going to give us the truth with no spin!!!! BAAAHAAAAHAAA! Who is the sheeple now #? If you really believe for one minute that Twitter, with its 140 character limit, is a sufficient way for an American President to convey pertinent information to us…then whoa man…we really fear for our future.

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Now let’s address how the “average American” no longer needs the “mainstream media”. Because this is what really has us hot under our collars. First of all, may we suggest Council Man Delauter, that you take a trip down to the Newseum so you can see for yourself how very important it is to our DEMOCRACY that we have a FREE PRESS. A FREE PRESS is absolutely essential to the free spread of ideas, opinions, information and is the ONLY way we have to investigate corruption in both corporations and the government!!!! What kind of elected official not only does NOT know this, but is actually pleased that the White House Press Corps will be locked out?! This is not a good development! This is exactly what dictators and tyrants do!!! But that’s right, Putin is a cool guy is he not, Kirby? Here’s a list that illustrates how the 4th Estate is doing in Russia.

Thankfully, once again, Kirby is so very wrong. How are newspapers doing in this current climate? Very well indeed. The Washington Post is doing so well that they are adding dozens of journalists. Vanity Fair, after Trump’s mantrum, saw their subscriptions soar!

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That’s about as accurate as Kirby’s Facebook post. They are twinsies!

The Atlantic and The New York Times have also seen a rise in donations and readership. Thinking people with a sense of history know the value and necessity of a free and unhindered press.

So what can we do to support our local media? Unless you want to friend Kirby to get his updates on local governmental issues (feel free!) or perhaps encourage him to open his @RealKirbyDelauter twitter account as we previously suggested, we need to support the Frederick News Post, even though according to Kirby they haven’t told the truth for “over 40 years,” we need to show them that we have their back! If you don’t already have a subscription, please click over and sign up! Or make a donation in Kirby’s name! Let’s show Kirby that we will not sit idly by while our one of our nation’s most important institutions is disparaged! We “average Americans” see the value of having the media call out our elected official’s bullshit.

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Get a clue Trump!

2016: Do not pass Go! Do not collect $200! Go Directly to Jail!

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Your Lady Yokels are holding our collective breath that we can get through these final two days of 2016 without any more tragedy. If you need a distraction to get you through the next couple of days be sure to read our end of year posts. First up we have our Most Popular Posts of 2016. You can revisit your favorite Yokel posts about all that went on in this tumultuous year. Also, we have the coveted Yokel In/Out List. Check back with us on January 4 when we will restart our coverage of our favorite governmental body.

Our Year in Review – 2016 version

As we close out 2016, it is a time for list making. We are not talking about a list of resolutions for 2017 (although, we could suggest some resolutions for a few Council Members, another post, perhaps?). We are talking about the Ins and Outs for our own Fred Co.

Year of the Cock, er, Rooster
Year of the Cock, er, Rooster

 

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FCPS breach is serious business people.

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On December 13, The Frederick Extra broke the story about a data breach at FCPS that left  1,000 former students’ identities compromised. Since then, the Extra has written two additional stories that you can read here and here. FCPS has responded by offering those affected a one year subscription to an identity protection service. You can read the official statement from FCPS here and watch the video from BOE President Young and Superintendent Alban here.

It’s disheartening that we now live in a world in which we have to be super vigilant with our data. At this moment, one of Your Lady Yokels currently has a LifeLock subscription due to Target’s data breach. What is also disheartening is when people with a clear vendetta against the school system, the BOE and the superintendent use this as yet another opportunity to go on one of their numerous FCPS witch hunts. How is this at all helpful people? Especially when this data breach occurred before many of the people who are being vilified even worked for FCPS.  Calling for people’s resignations is at the least premature and at most wildy irresponsible. Let the information roll in before passing judgment! When you are so reactionary it only serves to reveal your own prejudices and motives. Honestly folks, even our own King of Overreactions is looking at the facts:

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That is not to say that if your data was stolen that you shouldn’t be angry and want to get to the bottom of what happened.  And lets let the Frederick Extra, The Frederick News Post and FCPS do just that. If you do feel your data was compromised please email or call the school system at: infosec@fcps.org or 301-644-5332. Steer away from the random people on Facebook who some how got a hold of this list.

We thought lightning didn’t strike twice.

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There goes that Kirby proving us wrong again.

Usually Kirby only gets one column per month at the Tentacle. USUALLY. But since we are in topsy turvy nobody cares about anything anymore mode, he’s been  granted a second chance to offend our good senses. The topic? Danielle Gaines and her super no good column about the county council. Poor Danielle, just the other day Billy was praising her fairness (after this offending story came out mind you) but Kirby didn’t get the memo and he’s going to correct what’s wrong. Let’s start with the title, because ROTFLMAO!:

Newspaper Article’s Factual Errors Corrected

That’s right folks. Kirby’s gonna take those facts and do some correcting!! First off Kirby does not care for Danielle’s description of the other council members while he’s a yapping:

It painted Billy Shreve as seeing the comment as comical; it tries to show Tony Chmelik as embarrassed, and the remainder members of the council as studious and basically annoyed.

We here at the Yokel have watched every single meeting, along with council workshops and we are going to have to rate this statement as:

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100% never been more sure about anything in our lives true!

Then there’s some blah blah, stable tax rate is the same as a tax hike, bond ratings are good because of Blaine and then he offers up his excuse as to why he hasn’t written any legislation ever:

“Councilman Donald likes to chide me for never introducing a bill in two years. Well, yes, if I have to introduce legislation for civility and water buffers we don’t need, then, yes, you will see no bills from me.”

That’s right fellow citizens!!!!! Since niceties and water buffers are all we have going on in these here parts count Kirby out of the legislating process! He’s not going to do a damn bit of legislating and you can’t make him! He then goes on about Bud’s 180 and how there’s not a bit of leadership on the council, because hey, if you can’t keep Kirby and Billy in line that must be YOUR failure. There just isn’t any other logical explanation.

Then the hounds are released upon Jan. You see, fellow citizens, if the council agrees with the county executive then they aren’t doing their job. If they aren’t there to say no, as was the fashion of our Congress to President Obama, then things just aren’t getting done. It’s a failure of leadership. So heed Kirby’s warning peeps:

“It’s apparent nothing will change, the council will be an extension of the county executive, and she will run the county through fear and intimidation, just as she has for the 20-plus years she’s been involved in county government.”

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Really Kirby GIVE IT A REST! Nobody is singing this narrative but you and your cronies.

It’s all good though. Kirby is FINE with being in the minority. He’s going to just keep on trucking. And come 2018 he just knows things are going to change. Finally something we can all agree on!