This post is a long time coming. We’ve noticed that some people in our community have a lot of trouble with these things called words. We’ve done posts explaining the definitions of words such as dictator and traitor, but apparently our work is NOT done. Therefore, this post will serve as a dictionary of sorts. We will add to it as necessary and are open to any suggestions our dear readers may have.
Let’s start with the word INTEGRITY. We saw a post recently in which Blaine was congratulated for having integrity because he spilled his guts on the Frederick Forum program on WFMD. That is certainly an interesting take on the word. For we have been taught that having integrity means that you are honest and exhibit strong moral principals. And none of that happened on that show.
More like Gallant, Blaine. Less like Goofus.
ELITIST is another word we see misused by the one called Shreve. Somehow it has been misconstrued to mean following proper procedure to get a law passed. The word actually means believing you are superior to others. It seems that Billy wants special treatment for himself and his buddies. Is he perchance the elitist?
ETHICS is another dicey word that gets some people into trouble. When it comes to our county government it simply means the rules of conduct recognized to keep everything on the up and up. We are not sure what Kirby thinks it means, but we imagine it’s somewhere along the lines of:
We’ll only do one more today, even though this list could potentially go on forever. PROCEDURE. Following rules, be it Robert’s or the Council’s, is a BIG problem. It simply means to follow a particular course of action. If they would take the time to read, it really shouldn’t be a problem. But alas….
Since the council returned from their break, we’ve heard some pretty dumb things. We are still trying to recover from Billy telling us that we can safely drink from any stream in the county, when we clearly CANNOT. What misinformation is in store for our tender little ears this week? Grab a copy of your trusty agenda, pull up next to your favorite reality channel and batten down the hatches! And as always, this game is just for fun! No passing out in the alleys!
The very beginning of our evening begins behind closed doors. The council will interview a County Executive appointee. In honor of the torture this poor soul is about to embark on, who will have to endure some “interesting” questions from the entity we call Shrelauter, warm yourself up with a Secret Garden Cocktail.
Not sure why they bother calling the meeting to order since a few will never abide. We begin with public comment, some idiot either abstaining or refusing to vote on the consent agenda and then the approval of three budget transfers. No school transfers this week so Kirby won’t have the opportunity to throw out his dead horse speech about the teachers on the council lining their pockets. Oh what a shame!
Dr. Monica Grant is up for approval for the Director of the Citizens Service Director. Read more about her here.
We have one first reading on a program Regarding Establishment of a Clean Energy Loan Program for Commercial Properties. Then the council has to make some decisions.
First up is the Adequate Facilities Code. When Kirby laments the fact that his super expensive plan to fund four schools was killed, shoot back some Tough to Hear shots. It’s really becoming tiresome isn’t it?
Next up, Jerry has a plan to make zoning changes more public, so people have a chance to actually know what’s going on in their neighborhoods. “Shouldn’t” be any problems with this, but if there is, mix yourself up a B-52.
Time to decide on the marijuana pilot program. We heard some rumor that the High Sheriff was on the radio saying that prostitution should be legal, however, pot is a danger this county should never know. When we get confirmation on whether or not our top law enforcement officer really thinks a plant is more dangerous than the abuse and degradation of poor, disadvantaged people we’ll certainly let you know. For now just have your self a Elixir Bloody Mary, because we all need our vitamins.
If you have seen any of these Facebook hotel accounts, you know that the proposed downtown hotel is a touchy subject for some. However, many people came out in support of raising this tax, so we are fairly certain it’s a done deal. If the talk gets a little dicey, slam back a Stinger.
If this doesn’t get us to 7:00, Billy will complain and moan about how Bud can’t foresee the exact time a meeting will take and we’ll want to slam every clock over that head of his! Yes, Billy we all know how busy you are, and none of us gives a rat’s ass.
Billy, ranting about nothing just makes you look stoooopid.
Two public hearings on the agenda. Zoning, Adequate Facilities and Developer Rights are wrapped up all in one. The second deals with Solar Panel Installation. We’ll let your livers rest during this section of the evening. We do predict, however, that the second hearing will go smoother than the first.
Public comment and then what seems to do us in, Council Member comment. Before the C.M comment section of the evening commences fortify yourself with a Snickertini. For the only way to get through this mess anymore is to laugh.
We promise it won’t kill ya! You’ll just need a full course of antibiotics.
At our last meeting Shrelauter questioned the importance of cleaning up our local waterways. Both of our anti-science darlings assured us that nobody has died. Billy even went so far as to proclaim that we could drink out of any stream in Frederick County! Any! But Oopsy Daisy, Billy may have spoke out of turn! That’s so out of character!:
You can read both of these articles here and here.
Well how in Hades’ underworld could this be right?! Billy assured us that we were fine. He’s even gone on about how we should wait until year 19 of the 20 year deadline to clean things up because…REASONS.
What does this mean specifically for Frederick? Take a gander:
Red is bad, very bad.You can read more about Enterococci here.
Look at that explanation above! Anything over 151 cfu’s is not suitable for any bathing or “full body contact”! We aren’t mathematicians but all of those numbers are greater than that! Perhaps we need to get a nice set of shot glasses and fill them up with a sample from each of the above waterways! Let’s see if Kirby and Billy will put their money where their mouth is!
Don’t worry we have a whole lot of letters we can use to describe it.
At the end of our very informative workshop on human trafficking, Billy lit everything on fire and we mean everything. We first have to commend County Attorney Kearney and Council Member Keegan-Ayres for not flying across the dais and taking a hold of that man’s neck. Seriously, we could not deal with his nonsense, which only seems to get worse as the weeks go by.
After sitting quietly through the presentation, our most useless council member decides he has some items that must be addressed. First off, he wants a formal investigation into why the County Executive returned the money to the City of Baltimore for expenses incurred during the Baltimore riot. Billy wants to know why his question has not been addressed! Well hold on there fella! Did you not receive the email that Ms. Kearney sent you detailing why this in fact was legal? Come on guys…you don’t expect Billy to read do you? So it is the opinion of the attorney that since they have a mutual aid agreement with Baltimore AND this money was not a budgeted item and therefore did not fall under the purview of the council, the Executive (like many across the State) was completely within her rights to return the money. Like because, uh, maybe we all want to help each other out around these here parts. I would imagine that if we were ever so unfortunate to have a disaster in Frederick we would be very appreciative if our neighbors lent a helping hand. Without expecting cash money in return.
You would think this is over, but my poor naive friends, you would be very wrong indeed. Because Billy wants a FORMAL INVESTIGATION into why this money was returned. You can’t believe a word out of Ms. Kearney’s mouth because she was hired by that “fox in the hen house” (Kirby’s words) Jan Gardner. So there’s some argument over this that goes along the usual lines. Billy ends up yelling at Bud, “You’re out of order, just ask anyone who voted for you!” Jessica and MC try to push the point that we can just ask people about this instead of having a FORMAL INVESTIGATION. And that’s what is going to end up happening because only Billy and Kirby voted for this nonsense.
We were all so hopeful that this would conclude our evening, but we were all so very wrong. Because: Nursing Home!! Billy wants all the details of the deal. He is informed that County Attorney Mathias does not want the details released to the public yet because it is still in litigation. Everyone seems to be fine with this except our two revenge seekers. Billy yells at Bud again about how he’s showing no leadership and how can he expect anything less and OMG Bud’s phone goes off and his ringtone is Bad to the Bone!!! We swear on Helena’s throne that is true! How in love with that are you? We’ll leave you with this last little pic that so exemplifies what Billy is doing to our county government:
Well, well, well…it seems that our last poll about Blaine got a lot of people’s attention. For we had never had so many people participate before. Here’s your results:
Cinnamon, we really don’t know where you come up with these crazy ideas!!! Nobody could possibly believe that!!!
Tuesday will bring us dueling human trafficking events. In one corner we have this:
That’s right! It’s finally time for Blaine to face a judge over his prostitution arrest. Some may say that he’s irrelevant here in the county, seeing as how Jan trounced him in the last election. However, many birdies have told us that he wishes to become the shiny brand new District 5 Council representative once Kirby gets his butt whooped in the County Executive contest. So as long as he keeps trying to creep back into elected office, we will be here to remind you what a catastrophic mistake that would be.
Keep District 5 Blaine free!
The second event is an attempt to deal with the very real problem of human trafficking here in Frederick County:
We highly recommend that you read through these pages and become educated on the problem. For this is a subject that is very dear to your Lady Yokel’s hearts. We firmly believe that no person such be forced into any kind of slavery, sexual or otherwise.
Our faithful readers will remember back when a vote was taken on having this workshop. Billy voted against it because, and we quote, “There are groups both for and against this.” Jerry and Jessica were both incredulous as were we! (Of course we kinda suspect this was all a cover to protect Blaine and his transgressions). There couldn’t possibly be people in favor of human trafficking, could there? We are very sad to report that Billy may just be right. For those of you who are not yet acquainted with the watchdog group Frederick County Council Watch Watchyou need to click on over and take a look. This page watches the Frederick County Council Watch page, and believe it or not they have found people who think this whole human trafficking workshop is a huge conspiracy. Including a few people who are running for public office in these here parts.
Look what you did to Spongebob and Patrick! Aren’t you ashamed people!
As always, we’ll let you know the outcome of both the trial and the workshop. There is never a dull moment in Frederick politics.
You’ll remember a few weeks back when Kirby threw a fit about his leaseback idea not getting any traction. Somehow he thought it was within his authority to disband the entire task force. Well, Jan said no way Kirbo! Just because you didn’t get your way Mr. #, doesn’t mean the investigation process is over. So who is going to take up the torch that Kirby tried to extinguish? Today’s Political Notes answers that nicely:
Frederick County employees met with Councilman Tony Chmelik (R) this week, as plans are underway to revive a county task force that was examining options for leasing schools.
The meeting between Chmelik, Council Chief of Staff Ragen Cherney, and county finance and budget officers took place on Tuesday — when the School Build Lease Buy-Back Task Force was scheduled to meet.
Chmelik is taking the helm of the task force, which Councilman Kirby Delauter (R) said last month he was dissolving. Maybe.
Despite sending a confusing press release that he was disbanding a task force created by the county executive and notifying at least some of the members ahead of time via email, Delauter said he was not. Instead, he was no longer pursuing a specific leasing plan after the proposal was panned by County Executive Jan Gardner (D) as being too costly.
Gardner, at the time, said she intended for the task force to continue its work — with or without Delauter on board.
What do you mean? Work is going to continue with or without our precious # at the helm? So just because his one idea didn’t pan out that means the task force should continue investigating other ways of bringing down school construction costs?
We don’t understand this world of logic and problem solving y’all are throwing our way. Perhaps we’ve been stuck inside the Shrelauter echo chamber a little too long ourselves.
First things first! We always like to close out our old poll before introducing a new one.
Looks like the lawyers will be busy in Old Fredericktowne!
Seriously Kirby, you may want to seek out other council.
The Ole Yokel inbox keeps filling up with tales of Blaine running for Kirby’s seat once he files for County Executive. Wonder why he thinks the good people of District 5 would want him to represent them. Take our poll so we can tell Blaine whether or not the people want him back in office.
Your Yokels have mentioned that good ole Hashtag is planning to run for County Executive in 2018. But hold onto your hats, because rumors are swirling that local disgraced (yes, disgraced!) former BOCC President Blaine Young is planning to run for the Council seat for District 5.
We know you all remember this guy, who promised to disappear from politics after losing County Executive to Jan. This guy, who had an affair with a subordinate. This guy who was arrested for solicitation in a sting operation. This guy who seems to continually blame everyone else if they aren’t a big enough person to forgive him for his transgressions.
Well, I’m not sure how many chances you should get in your personal life, but in your professional life your chances are all used up. How can we trust you? You know the saying, “fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me”, well no one here is getting fooled.
As of right now, Mr. Has-been doesn’t even live in District 5. Maybe he is going to move in with friends. Watch your women folk District 5. We’ve heard he has turned over a new healthy leaf and has put all his energy into getting a super hot body to better recruit you to his cause. But, a leopard doesn’t change his spots. Still a good ole boys looking out for his own hide.
Sorry Yokels, it seems as though we have to usher in each month with Kirby’s latest diatribe about how our county and country is going all to hell. You can read the full post here, but ours will be much more fun!
This month he’s trying oh so very hard to explain why he encouraged J&J Trash to sue the county. How could a council member possibly defend this behavior? BEHOLD:
My answer is simple. We are elected to represent county citizens, all of them. When a constituent can’t be heard by an arrogant council president, and I feel they have a cause/issue worth hearing, I am going to encourage every means possible to have them heard. If a lawsuit is what it takes, so be it.
Well, we of course covered this workshop and Kirby was told, on more than one occasion, that if he thought a county law needed to be changed, he in fact could do that. You know being that he’s on a legislative body and all. Now apparently Kirby was not listening to what was being said because this whole writing legislation is all news to him:
I think once the county heard J&J was preparing to sue and I would be willing as a council member to testify on its behalf, the internal discussions began within the county. It was brought to my attention that a legislative bill may be the answer to this situation.
This was NOT the point at which this was brought to his attention. He was told over and over and over again that if he did not like the legislation that he could write a new law. Then J&J would have the opportunity during the subsequent public hearing to testify. PER PROCEDURE. And Billy we better not hear you utter the word, Elitist. Or we swear upon Helena’s high throne we will pull out that Thurmont parade picture again!
Why does this seem to be news to him?!
Now we need help, dear readers, parsing this next bit. Because WHOA NELLY, what the hell is going on here?:
While I totally disagree that making a new law/ordinance to add to an existing “sufficient” law/ordinance is totally ridiculous and unnecessary. However, if that’s what will right this wrong, that’s what I may have to do.
Okay, so it’s ridiculous that he disagrees that he should make a new law to add to a “sufficient” law. (Do the quotes mean it is or is not sufficient?) But dang it, if you people are going to actually make him do his job then I guess that’s what he’s going to be forced to do! Oh the horror!!! Seriously though, that has got to be one of the most confusing sentences we Lady Yokels have ever come across. EVER!
The diatribe continues with more insults hurled at Bud Otis and us, his dear county residents!:
The sad part I’ve found out in my six years in local politics is that most people don’t give a rat’s fanny about their neighbors’ plight until they themselves have an issue that effects them.
That’s right you selfish county residents!! When are you going to care about someone other than yourselves? You big bunch of jerks! And council man, we think you mean affect, not effect.
And you county employees didn’t think you were getting off easy did you? Because Kirby has THE words for you as well:
Politicians come and go but staff members are the ones who typically make policy; and, in most cases, they make policy that makes it easier on themselves and harder on those who dare to challenge them.
BAM! Take that you lazy staff members! Stop making policy that makes your jobs all cushy and care free! Kirby’s got your number! Wait, who writes the laws again?
We end this month’s tome with a grave warning. We can only guess that Kirby watched the Cleveland 2016 Scare-A-Thon with rapturous attention in order to pound out something like this:
It is important who we elect because with 45 years of incremental degradation of our rights and our freedoms, if we continue on that path, at some point you may not be given the option to choose.
frederick local yokel 