Come on Oprah, we don't want to take that home!
Come on Oprah, we don’t want to take that home!

Sorry Yokels, it seems as though we have to usher in each month with Kirby’s latest diatribe about how our county and country is going all to hell. You can read the full post here, but ours will be much more fun!

This month he’s trying oh so very hard to explain why he encouraged J&J Trash to sue the county. How could a council member possibly defend this behavior? BEHOLD:

My answer is simple. We are elected to represent county citizens, all of them. When a constituent can’t be heard by an arrogant council president, and I feel they have a cause/issue worth hearing, I am going to encourage every means possible to have them heard. If a lawsuit is what it takes, so be it.

Well, we of course covered this workshop and Kirby was told, on more than one occasion, that if he thought a county law needed to be changed, he in fact could do that. You know being that he’s on a legislative body and all. Now apparently Kirby was not listening to what was being said because this whole writing legislation is all news to him:

I think once the county heard J&J was preparing to sue and I would be willing as a council member to testify on its behalf, the internal discussions began within the county. It was brought to my attention that a legislative bill may be the answer to this situation.

This was NOT the point at which this was brought to his attention. He was told over and over and over again that if he did not like the legislation that he could write a new law. Then J&J would have the opportunity during the subsequent public hearing to testify. PER PROCEDURE. And Billy we better not hear you utter the word, Elitist. Or we swear upon Helena’s high throne  we will pull out that Thurmont parade picture again!

Why does this seem to be news to him?!
Why does this seem to be news to him?!

Now we need help, dear readers, parsing this next bit. Because WHOA NELLY, what the hell is going on here?:

While I totally disagree that making a new law/ordinance to add to an existing “sufficient” law/ordinance is totally ridiculous and unnecessary. However, if that’s what will right this wrong, that’s what I may have to do.

Okay, so it’s ridiculous that he disagrees that he should make a new law to add to a “sufficient” law. (Do the quotes mean it is or is not sufficient?) But dang it, if you people are going to actually make him do his job then I guess that’s what he’s going to be forced to do! Oh the horror!!! Seriously though, that has got to be one of the most confusing sentences we Lady Yokels have ever come across. EVER!

The diatribe continues with more insults hurled at Bud Otis and us, his dear county residents!:

The sad part I’ve found out in my six years in local politics is that most people don’t give a rat’s fanny about their neighbors’ plight until they themselves have an issue that effects them.

That’s right you selfish county residents!! When are you going to care about someone other than yourselves?  You big bunch of jerks! And council man, we think you mean affect, not effect.

And you county employees didn’t think you were getting off easy did you? Because Kirby has THE words for you as well:

Politicians come and go but staff members are the ones who typically make policy; and, in most cases, they make policy that makes it easier on themselves and harder on those who dare to challenge them.

BAM! Take that you lazy staff members!  Stop making policy that makes your jobs all cushy and care free! Kirby’s got your number! Wait, who writes the laws again?

We end this month’s tome with a grave warning. We can only guess that Kirby watched the Cleveland 2016 Scare-A-Thon with rapturous attention in order to pound out something like this:

It is important who we elect because with 45 years of incremental degradation of our rights and our freedoms, if we continue on that path, at some point you may not be given the option to choose.

18awoh

Frederick Politics can sure be dramatic!