9/20 council meeting: we will try to be brief, episode 1, or Deplorables in inaction.

Hey so the archived video is 6 and a half hours long. There’s far too much to work with here. Let’s start with the very beginning. A, B, C, Do, Re, Mi, and so forth. Potato. Crackpot.

Kirby mixes it up with the consent agenda, and wants to look at one of the items separately, and that would be this one.

What better time to lose your mind than when your buddy is going to get money he needs?
What better time to lose your mind than when your buddy, who’s on hand to talk about noise ordinances, is going to get money he needs? Funny enough, he also is able to confirm that when Jerry Donald makes you seem like you are being dumb and don’t understand how the budget process works, you are in fact being dumb and don’t understand how the budget process works. Awkwarrrrrrrd. Some foreshadowing. They are not d’accord about noise ordinances later, either.

But, being incompetent doesn’t stop him–like the regular Dunning Kruger Effect case study that he is. Making matters worse he is complaining about two different procedures not being the same, just because he needs a platform to showboat his personal issue that they didn’t get paid back for helping Baltimore and wants to somehow vilify Jan (because it is a day ending in Y). All the while, he can’t even figure out when prompted that the procedure he should use would be to make a motion to separate the items on the consent agenda. When M.C. asks if he would like to make said motion, he retorts, “However you wanna do it.” No, not however she wants to. There’s a procedure, you drip. Wasn’t it that procedure was the most important thing in the world? The good news is that all that noise was useless, and everybody got the money they need in the end.

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Then we heard from Chief Tom Owens about the need to accept a grant to help staff the volunteer fire stations with career staff. This was very educational. Did you know that sometimes they send an ambulance with 2 people out (since you really can’t have only a driver both driving and attending to the medical condition in the back) and so that leaves a firetruck with only a driver, and often they all take off to a car accident in this configuration when all the equipment is required? Doesn’t that seem a little…anemic. Lewistown doesn’t have staff to operate an ambulance after 6pm, so they don’t and send a back up probably from Frederick, in the event of an emergency (and that does it; personal vow to never move out of a city). Ideally a station with an ambulance and engine should have 5 people so that the whole thing works. TBH this Local Lady was running kids around and listening to the early part of the meeting on the available wifi while chauffeuring kids to activities, and missed the conclusion. However, today’s FNP reveals that this went down as one might imagine. That’s why you need to subscribe: they pay someone to stay the whole bleeding time. And thanks to them we know that the rug that ties the whole room together is that if you need to make a point, what better time than when first responders want grant money paid for by the taxes we all pay, to make itself useful here in our community.

Some Republican members of the council questioned whether the county should accept the grant, citing the higher cost for salaries in the division once the grant runs out.

Who wonders which Republicans? Any hypotheses? Not even curious enough to go consult the archives are you? Neither are we. And also:

After the council’s vote, a group of a dozen firefighters stood in the crowd and cheered.

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It sure would be nice if Billy and Kirby had a goal other than causing problems.

 

 

It’s about that time again! Your faithful September 20 drinking game!

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It’s time for your favorite Frederick Politics game! There’s a lot on the agenda this evening. We are sure that there will be some grumbling from Shreve’s end about the start time, but we’ll try and block that out. Your Lady Yokel’s are going to leave you with a bingo game this evening. You can decide when to take a drink. With every checked box or when you get an actual Bingo! It’s totally up to you. Also, feel free to interpret the choices very liberally, the exact wording need not apply! Do remember this game is only for entertainment purposes. Billy wants NOTHING to do with our readers.

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What dead horse is getting throttled this week?

Nobody told your Lady Yokels that dead horse hunting season was now open in Frederick!  Surprisingly, this week’s dead horse doesn’t symbolize Jerry and Jessica lining their pockets with all those gold doubloons. What horse’s bones are Billy and Kirby beating this time? Take a gander:

 

If being on the hook for millions, that's right millions, of more dollars is solving the problem, then I guess for once he's right!
If being on the hook for millions, that’s right millions, of more dollars is solving the problem, then I guess for once he’s right!

What does Kirby have to say? Let’s summon him and find out:

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If he put this much time and energy into his council man job we would all be better off.

Now we are forced to summon the ghost of Mark Twain:

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We covered Kirby’s school construction workshop and Jan’s presentation concerning the acquisition of the nursing homes from Aurora. Why weren’t Kirby and Billy concerned about building schools when it was a developer free for all during the last BOCC? For, in a logical world, that would have been the perfect time to make sure our infrastructure and schools were up to snuff.  Why, also, did they vote against funding schools above MOE? It clearly could not have been a secret that the people who were going to occupy these adobes would have offspring that they would like to be properly educated. Or was it? But of course this is all Jan’s fault! Every last bit of it!

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Bruce Lee once said showing off is the fool’s idea of glory. Your September 6 county council run down.

Continue reading “Bruce Lee once said showing off is the fool’s idea of glory. Your September 6 county council run down.” →

Your Yokel Ladies are famous y’all!

We’ll try not to put on airs! No promises though!

If you haven’t seen it yet, go out and pick yourself up a copy of September’s Frederick Magazine. Inside you will find an article entitled “Politics in the Blogosphere” by the very talented Katherine Heerbrandt. Upon those glossy pages you’ll get a good scoop on your favorite blog, Frederick County Fact Check (http://www.frederickcountyfactcheck.org), and some other guys. It’s only $3.95, and you’ll be supporting your local print media. (While you are at it pick up the Washingtonian as well. There’s a very good article about Frederick politics. Your Lady Yokels were also contacted, however, due to busy summer schedules we were not able to make time to talk with the reporter).

While we are sure many of our readers will thoroughly enjoy the Frederick Magazine article, we were contacted via email with some unsolicited advice from one of the other bloggers who was mentioned very briefly in the story. He feels that  we are never going to be taken seriously as journalists if we don’t reveal our identities. Curious that it is impossible to debate ideas without the opportunity to engage in ad hominem attacks, isn’t it? And now, we must reiterate that anyone mistaking us for journalists absolutely must read a real newspaper, whether you like it or not. We are not attempting to provide journalism. This is infotainment, people. As to why we choose to feature Blaine, again…infotainment. He is bursting with infotainment potential. For example, he appears to think Kirby Delauter will be our next County Executive (which just is not nice to Kirby, being honest). He also seems to be looking at a run in D5, so brace yourself for the infinite infotainment. SorryNotSorry.

I didn't want to be a part of that article anyway!
I didn’t want to be a part of that article anyway!

By: Woebegone Putupon of the Shantytown

Fun with the FNP comment section!

If you had a chance ,on this beautiful late summer day, to take a peek-a-boo at the FNP you would have seen that Shade Trees and Evergreens is filing for Chapter 7 bankruptcy. Which essentially means that all their bridal customers will never see their money again. What’s really weird is that the bride interviewed in the story isn’t blaming Jan:

Boyenton’s complaint alleges that Shade Trees & Evergreens deposited a $2,250 payment from her, and it was not returned after the wedding was canceled.

She found out six days before her May 13 wedding that the venue could not host it, she said.

“I’m honestly still baffled that the owners have so little consideration for the hundred brides they took money from,” she said. “Shade Trees knew this was coming one day.”

With the help of her caterer, Boyenton found another venue that was available to host her wedding at the same time and day. It matched Shade Tree & Evergreens’ price, but because she has not received any money back from the original venue, she said it was like she paid twice.

“Honesty, I really just want my money back. Or at least an apology from them,” she said.

Huh, so not everyone believes that when a business ignores all zoning and permitting ordinances it’s all Jan’s fault. Really strange.

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What is most informative about today’s story does not lie within the article but within the comment section. Let’s take a tour and see if we can help our neighbors out with some of their questions.

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Well FrederickFan we can answer your question:

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Shocking isn’t it? And ding ding ding public-redux you are correct! Instead of stepping back and looking at all of the facts, he’s just going to double down! Now, we have a mystery on our hands:

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LOL! Does Kirby use the moniker thevoiceoffrederick? Quick poll time:

We are very sorry that these wedding customers will never see their money. But thankful that most thinking people see who is at fault. Something that Kirby has a very hard time doing.

What are words? Your handy Yokel back to school primer!

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This post is a long time coming. We’ve noticed that some people in our community have a lot of trouble with these things called words. We’ve done posts explaining the definitions of words such as dictator and traitor, but apparently our work is NOT done. Therefore, this post will serve as a dictionary of sorts.  We will add to it as necessary and are open to any suggestions our dear readers may have.

Let’s start with the word INTEGRITY. We saw a post recently in which Blaine was congratulated for having integrity because he spilled his guts on the Frederick Forum program on WFMD. That is certainly an interesting take on the word. For we have been taught that having integrity means that you are honest and exhibit strong moral principals. And none of that happened on that show.

More like Gallant, Blaine. Less like Goofus.
More like Gallant, Blaine. Less like Goofus.

ELITIST is another word we see misused by the one called Shreve. Somehow it has been misconstrued to mean following proper procedure to get a law passed. The word actually means believing you are superior to others. It seems that Billy wants special treatment for himself and his buddies. Is he perchance the elitist?

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ETHICS is another dicey word that gets some people into trouble. When it comes to our county government it simply means the rules of conduct recognized to keep everything on the up and up. We are not sure what Kirby thinks it means, but we imagine it’s somewhere along the lines of:

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We’ll only do one more today, even though this list could potentially go on forever. PROCEDURE. Following rules, be it Robert’s or  the Council’s, is a BIG problem. It simply means to follow a particular course of action. If they would take the time to read, it really shouldn’t be a problem. But alas….

We are going to miss you Gene!
We are going to miss you Gene!

What do hotels, marijuana, solar panels and zoning have in common? Welcome to your August 30th drinking game!

Happy now Shrelauter?!
Happy now Shrelauter?!

Since the council returned from their break, we’ve heard some pretty dumb things. We are still trying to recover from Billy telling us that we can safely drink from any stream in the county, when we clearly CANNOT. What misinformation is in store for our tender little ears this week? Grab a copy of your trusty agenda, pull up next to your favorite reality channel and batten down the hatches! And as always, this game is just for fun! No passing out in the alleys!

The very beginning of our evening begins behind closed doors. The council will interview a County Executive appointee. In honor of the torture this poor soul is about to embark on, who will have to endure some “interesting” questions from the entity we call Shrelauter, warm yourself up with a Secret Garden Cocktail. 

Not sure why they bother calling the meeting to order since a few will never abide. We begin with public comment, some idiot either abstaining or refusing to vote on the consent agenda and then the approval of three budget transfers. No school transfers this week so  Kirby won’t have the opportunity to throw out his dead horse speech about the teachers on the council lining their pockets. Oh what a shame!

Dr. Monica Grant is up for approval for the Director of the Citizens Service Director. Read more about her here.  

We have one first reading on a program Regarding Establishment of a Clean Energy Loan Program for Commercial Properties. Then the council has to make some decisions.

First up is the Adequate Facilities Code. When Kirby laments the fact that his super expensive plan to fund four schools was killed, shoot back some Tough to Hear shots. It’s really becoming tiresome isn’t it?

Next up, Jerry has a plan to make zoning changes more public, so people have a chance to actually know what’s going on in their neighborhoods. “Shouldn’t” be any problems with this, but if there is, mix yourself up a B-52.

Time to decide on the marijuana pilot program. We heard some rumor that the High Sheriff was on the radio saying that prostitution should be legal, however, pot is a danger this county should never know. When we get confirmation on whether or not our top law enforcement officer really thinks a plant is more dangerous than the abuse and degradation of poor, disadvantaged people we’ll certainly let you know. For now just have your self a Elixir Bloody Mary, because we all need our vitamins.

If you have seen any of these Facebook hotel accounts, you know that the proposed downtown hotel is a touchy subject for some. However, many people came out in support of raising this tax, so we are fairly certain it’s a done deal. If the talk gets a little dicey, slam back a Stinger.

If this doesn’t get us to 7:00, Billy will complain and moan about how Bud can’t foresee the exact time a meeting will take and we’ll want to slam every clock over that head of his! Yes, Billy we all know how busy you are, and none of us gives a rat’s ass.

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Billy, ranting about nothing just makes you look stoooopid.

Two public hearings on the agenda. Zoning, Adequate Facilities and Developer Rights are wrapped up all in one. The second deals with Solar Panel Installation. We’ll let your livers rest during this section of the evening. We do predict, however, that the second hearing will go smoother than the first.

Public comment and then what seems to do us in, Council Member comment. Before the C.M comment section of the evening commences fortify yourself with a Snickertini. For the only way to get through this mess anymore is to laugh.

 

Just one sip Kirby and Billy?

Looks like it won't kill ya!
We promise it won’t kill ya! You’ll just need a full course of antibiotics.

At our last meeting Shrelauter questioned the importance of cleaning up our local waterways. Both of our anti-science darlings assured us that nobody has died. Billy even went so far as to proclaim that we could drink out of any stream in Frederick County! Any! But Oopsy Daisy, Billy may have spoke out of turn! That’s so out of character!:

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You can read both of these articles here and here.

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Well how in Hades’ underworld could this be right?! Billy assured us that we were fine. He’s even gone on about how we should wait until year 19 of the 20 year deadline to clean things up because…REASONS.

What does this mean specifically for Frederick? Take a gander:

Red is bad, very bad.
Red is bad, very bad.
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You can read more about Enterococci here.

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Look at that explanation above! Anything over 151 cfu’s is not suitable for any bathing or “full body contact”!  We aren’t mathematicians but all of those numbers are greater than that! Perhaps we need to get a nice set of shot glasses and fill them up with a sample from each of the above waterways! Let’s see if Kirby and Billy will put their money where their mouth is!