Bottoms up! Please make sure you are seated before imbibing.

so drunk
You better Jenkins, or you may end up in the hospital!

Lots of items on the agenda for tonight’s meeting so please make sure you are properly prepared with a comfy seat. As always, take care not to overindulge. The Yokels are not responsible for any damage you may do to your livers and we really do need you to be back again for the next meeting.

First up public comments. If no one shows up, drink some ginger ale. You are going to want to coat your stomach with a preventative liner.

Next are a bunch of budget amendments. When Billy complains that he still doesn’t have a budget analyst to help him read, throw back a flaming asshole. You know why.

Business items are up next. Three meetings worth of minutes need to be approved plus confirmations, bond authorizations and new workshop items. Someone is going to abstain so get ready to drink a mojito mocktail. 

Next up are first readings of four different items.  Forest resources, DRRA, APF for school construction are going to be discussed. We predict tempers will flair (the 3 usual suspects). This could go long, so pick your own personal favorite beverage to slowly sip during this portion of the meeting. We still have more to get through and you will want your wits about you.

A public hearing on bonds for Mount St. Mary’s University is up next. Mix up an Irish Catholic to set the mood.

Next a third reading on the Wood Waste Recycling bill. Are you still upright??? Time for a boozy affagato. You’ll need that espresso to help you stay awake for the rest of the meeting.

Take a break until 7. If the meeting ran until 7, and you don’t get a break, grab a glass of good old fashioned water. Your liver needs a break.

Next up a second reading on the Veteran’s Advisory Council.  You’ll want to mix up an American Spirit for this one.  Just drink it because we all support veterans.

I can’t believe there is still more, but next comes a public hearing on rezoning the Ballenger PUD. Throw back a I’m Ya Huckleberry when Billy asks a question someone has already answered.

We are almost done.  We just have to get through public and council member comments. Time to throw back a shot of C. This one is for your health.  Right????

Oops
Oops. Don’t say we didn’t warn you Smokey!

Let’s match some lingo by playing bingo! Your very special October 3rd drinking game!

e13554855a694e7ae222407ba33d6354b54c3e6d15127c4d69d5cc6a1a72425a
If you win, it means we all lose!
It’s that time of the month again! The county council will convene to discuss items that are important to the functional running of our local government. Today we leave you with a very special bingo game that you can use any which way you please. So grab your favorite pumpkin spiced whatever, read over your agenda, and fire up the live feed.

2017-10-02 (2)

It’s time for your drinking game, spring break edition.

Celebrate while you can Sunny.

FCPS is currently on Spring Break! We are trying to soak up every minute with our dearest children since our overlord Governor Hogan has pretty much nixed any hopes of more than a four day weekend yippe skippy spring break fun time in the future. Channel your inner college break constitution, but remember this is just for fun. Don’t overdo the alcohol. Grab your agenda and steel your mind for the ride!

We hope you had a good holiday. You are going to need to hold onto that good mood when this week’s meeting starts with budget adjustments. When there is a BS abstention on budget items for no good reason throw back a truffle bunny, because we know you need a tiny excuse to steal your kid’s candy.

Next up are a few business items. The constant yield tax rate is one of the items. The crystal ball says there will be denial if the constant rate actually stays constant. Throw back a tax break because who has patience for this? Bonus drink if you managed to get your own taxes done by tax day. Next up are hazard mitigation and transportation updates. We recommend abstaining on drinks for those discussions. Save your liver for what’s up next.

Time for the 3rd reading of Limited Private Event Venues Bill. If Council Member Chmelik doesn’t vote Aye for his own Bill drink a poison apple.

Break time! Have some carbs. There are 3 second readings to get through when the meeting reconvenes.

Prepare to throw back some local shots as distilleries, ethics and solar facilities are discussed. We know there will be dead horse flogging during the ethics reading. That poor horse is so dead and flogged that all we can recommend is have a long tall glass of water to quench your tbirst.

Finally, we have a draft budget, followed by public and council member comments. We predict some council member complete nonsense during comments, so finish strong with a bullshit.

220ba0b913f03f1ec28ecc0f2b6c8def (1)
If only this weren’t necessary.

 

Love is in the air…or are we just drunk? Your February 7th drinking game!

f0b7352508ad79e96970400d39e0506c

It’s been a few weeks since we’ve had a council meeting, but now we are back and raring to go! Hopefully Kirby will bring his tear-shaped flow chart for us to behold. This week we are doing a drinking game bingo. We noticed that our favorite FNP poet, Armillary, requested that we do so.  So in honor of all his clever limericks, grab your agenda, pick your poison and be responsible!

2017-01-31-8

Are you ready to rumble?! It’s your first drinking game of 2017!!!!

aa4d721fdabd386a66ea9194dca9d0f3

Happy New Year fans of the Yokel!!! We sincerely hope that you had a wonderful holiday season! This afternoon, we will see the first council meeting of  2017. Will Shrelauter turn over a new leaf? Unlikely things will go well since we ended 2016 with Kirby Facebooking some pretty cray cray allegations concerning M.C.  There’s also been some disturbances in the force whispering to us that Kirby may actually write some legislation this year. We suppose that anything is possible! Grab your agenda, warm up that feed to FCGTV and watch your local government in action!! Do remember, these games are only for fun, we need all our Yokels alive and well to vote in the 2018 council election!

very-sad-new-year-quotes-2017-sayings-status
Not holding our breath though!

We start out with public comment. Predicting that no one will show at this first meeting of the new year, but you never know!!! Then we are out of the usual order of things with a public hearing concerning some amendments to the Spring water and sewage plan. If Kirby takes this time to grandstand about returning people’s money who were forced to purchase environmentally sound septic systems slam back a Creamsicle Fizz , allowing the bubbles to transport you to a land far, far away.

Quite a few budget transfers on the agenda. If these go smoothly, hooray! If not, mix up some Angry by the Fire. Can we take this for another two years?

Second reading of the bill to establish a small business real property tax credit. We’ve spoken before how this should be something right down Shrelauter’s alley. But, oh contrarian gods of yore! Those pesky Democrats and minions of the County Executive are behind this! How will this play out? If with predictable mantantrums, have yourself a Pint of Mad Out of It!

One more shot of public comments until we reach the point where what could go wrong will go wrong: council member comments.

download-11
Don’t test us first thing in the new year!

There’s little chance, with such a long break, that there won’t be things to SAY. This is probably a good time to calm down and take a few deep breaths. Maybe grab a nice fruit smoothie, or some calming Ginger Ale or take some Tums or Rolaids. Anything to protect your stomach from what is sure to be some aggravating nonsense.

Time to hit the liquor store! It’s debate night!

 

Keep your organs in check people!
Keep your organs in check people!

Your faithful Yokels only expend our precious energy in creating drinking games about our lovable, quirky county council. We would be remiss, however, if we didn’t point you in the direction of a fun drinking game for tonight’s debate. For how can anyone be expected to get through it without liquid fortification?  Make sure you have a yuuge supply of booze on hand, it could be a long night! Click here to play.