Tag: Frederick County Council

Kirby uses “similar” Lennie Thompson quotes and other fresh nonsense….

fclocalyokel6 Comments

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We skipped around the recording of last night’s meeting. If you have two plus hours to spare, please knock yourself out. It was all devoted to a continuation of the hearing for the Urbana rezoning application.  Being subjected to one of the county attorneys cracking open a 1974 dictionary to read the definition of the word contiguous was too much to ask of your Lady Yokels. We do know that there wasn’t a decision made, final vote will occur on March 7,  and that our old pal Billy didn’t show up:

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Is Kirby going to fall backwards one of these days?

Council member comments were fairly tame. Tony wants us all to know that he was out of the house from 6 a.m. -11:45 p.m. last Tuesday and almost didn’t have a chance to wish his twins a happy birthday. (Happy Birthday Tony’s twins!) But, he thanked everyone for their civility. Kirby had NO comments this week! Jerry wants people to come to Brunswick this weekend for BBQ and wooden train whistling. Jessica informs us that it is the 40th anniversary of the Frederick Arts Council and there will be a celebration at the Weinberg. M.C. applauds the sale of the Fredericktowne Mall and Bud makes sure all of our county employees know how much they are appreciated.

Kirby’s on our radar again. He’s a facebooking and writing his monthly diatribe for the noodley appendage. Curiously, Kirby thinks that Trump is worthy of some biblical quotations:

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We almost chocked when we saw this in our inbox this morning!
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This would explain a lot actually!

Who is the lion in this scenario? Not to mention wise and knowledgable!!!???  Because LOLLOLLOL, he cannot be speaking of Trump! But, then again, making connections is not one of Kirby’s strong suits:

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We will never, as long as we live, tire of this!!!

It’s the first of the month and that means it’s time for the “Guest Columnist” (what in the world happened to Galahad Sweetbottom?) to shine. We won’t go over the whole Hough ethics bill as we have already covered it here and here. And The Frederick Extra had an excellent piece  about the whole Hough political nonsense here. We do think ,though, that  we are going to have to check on Kirby’s donations over the next year. It will be fun to compare/contrast his donations with Senator Hough’s.

Ethics nonsense aside, we would be remiss if we did not point out a few quotes that made us chuckle. First off, is this imaginary conversation Kirby has between the reader and himself:

Now, you may say: “Delauter, you’re crazy, maybe it was just an odd coincidence?” Really?

OH MY!! Well, he got the crazy part right. Kirby’s been stepping up his attempts at creative writing lately. We know that imitation is supposed to be the sincerest form of flattery, but when one does it so poorly it’s hard to feel good about it.

Kirby sums up said piece with a quote in the spirit of former County Commissioner John “Lennie” Thompson:

Similar to the words of former County Commissioner John ‘Lennie’ Thompson: If Jan wins, you lose.

We can’t help but wonder how Mr. Thompson is going to feel about Kirby using his old campaign slogan, If the Developers Win, You Lose, in this manner. Please let us know, Lennie.

 

 

Dueling bills. The Hough huff and guff continues.

fclocalyokel3 Comments

State Senator Michael Hough is in the paper with an LTE today attacking Jan Gardner as though she is opposed to ethics reform. What a bunch of garbage. This blatant partisan attack is casting aspersions (asspersions?) at a bill crafted by (edit for clarification/correcting oversimplification) crafted by the Ethics Task Force with attentive feedback from the bipartisan League of Women Voters. That’s a good litmus test for are you being a jerk on purpose.

Hey, you know, a little birdie chirped that former Commissioner Kai Hagen asked at the Hough/Afzali Dog and Pony Townhall of Pretend Listening if he would pledge not to make this a political attack and, nope. He would not. How interesting…

Also, we were asking amongst ourselves the other day: what gives with this double bill double bill trend we are seeing lately? It occurred at the last County Council meeting. It occurred in a really bizarre fashion with Ron Young’s bill to extend the statute of limitations for childhood sex abuse crimes. And this hot mess of ethics.

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In our duels, some are Youngs. Some are scrappy. Some are huffy.

A child’s view of rezoning applications

fclocalyokel3 Comments

We’ve been trying to follow this riveting rezoning application discussion (from yesterday) and the cross examination process. None of us live in Urbana, so while we sympathize BIGLIG with the concerns about adequate public facilities and overdevelopment, it has been difficult to stay awake.

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What we know is that 75 townhouses and 700 age restricted units and maybe an assisted living facility, too, plus some additional market place development are part of this rezoning application–and the estimated figures are that this will add 30 elementary school, 10 middle school, and 11 high school students.

To liven this up as best we can, we will tell you what observations were made by the children who were innocent bystanders during the viewing of this event.

  • They’re talking about bonds! We just learned about that at school! (ok, that was really during the first half, but how often do you hear a child get excited about a bond proposal?)
  • Wait, he doesn’t vote for the minutes. Why not?????
  • Look at Billy and Kirby! They are all slouched in their chairs!
  • Do you like her? She seems smart.
  • Do you like the younger lady? She seems smart, too.
  • What is he (Billy Shreve) playing with? Does he have yarn?
  • Why does that man with the sweater always have his hands on his face? Do you think he’s just really tired?
  • Ohmygosh! He (Billy Shreve) is such a BUTT!!!
  • How long do these last??????

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Mark Jafari gets our award tonight for asking good questions, especially the one about having the age restricted community and the high school traffic all concentrated in the same area. Like most good questions, the answer was something like, “Well, we deal with that kind of thing at a later phase.”

Wait up guys! Billy can’t keep up!

fclocalyokel2 Comments

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First half of the meeting clocked in at just under an hour! Billy really had a lot of trouble tonight. Did his usual idocracy, abstaining on agendas and voting against minutes. He had a lot of trouble during his questioning of the finance people during the reassignment of bond talk. First, his gotcha question about Montevue/Citizens backfired. Then he misunderstood the dates of the bond repayment. Finally, he wanted an explanation on why the County Executive would have the power to buy and sell bonds. After some very good reasons, mainly boiled down to the fact that the CE can move more quickly in volatile bond markets, he capitulated and the motion was passed 7-0. It’s become more and more evident that Billy just can’t keep up!

Tony is rescinding his dueling tasting room bill…for now. He complained about how the County Executive wouldn’t tell him what she had in her bill. In fact, he had many, many words for the County Executive:

“It would be nice if the Executive would work with this council member”.

Huh, we remember a few weeks back when an email landed in the ole Yokel inbox. We were made aware that Tony was having a meeting with local winery and distillers. And guess who was not invited?! Anyone else from the county! In fact, we were told that when a county staff meeting caught wind of this “secret” meeting they were shut out! So, Tony can act the victim all he wants, but he hasn’t exactly been open with his bill either.

Billy ends this discussion by yelling that Bud could rescind the County Executive’s bill, but everyone ignores him. Which may be the best strategy.

Small business real property tax bill is passed 7-0. Not before Billy pipes up though! He just wants to let us all know that this bill should be for ALL small business owners regardless of how large they are and shouldn’t include any wage requirements. Well, we remember, from readings one and two, that these requirements were necessary because of Maryland law. Now, if we remember hearing that fact, shouldn’t Billy? I mean really. Stay tuned for our report on the Urbana public hearing.

 

Let’s bond authorize those bills into a public hearing! Your February 21st drinking extravaganza!

fclocalyokel3 Comments

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Sprinkles looks like he means business!
LOOONG agenda tonight! With this much on the the docket there’s little chance of emerging unscathed. You must really use your best judgment on which parts to follow or you are in extreme danger of sounding like Kirby does when he’s beating his dead horses all over the Facebook. Grab your agenda, click on over to Frederick’s best reality TV station, and get ready for your local government in action!

Every time Billy says YES before speaking, an annoying little habit he possesses, slam back your favorite shot. Think of this as free drink time!

All the budget adjustments, agenda and minute approvals and approval of County Executive appointments have become all so, YAWN!, boring to us. Just let your eyes glaze over a bit as Billy refuses to approve the minutes. Remember people, he’s bravely taking a stand against something  nothing!

Finance hero Lori Depies is asking for the council to reauthorize some bonds. She’s always so brave and calm in having to mire through the nonsense that is Shrelauter. If they give her any grief, ask any irrelevant questions or use this as an attempt to grandstand slam back a couple of Bad Hombres. They were the ones Trump was speaking of, right?

We have four first readings of bills and what in Zeus’ daylight is this?

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We appear to have dueling tasting room bills!!! Who will win the showdown, tis too early to tell. Knock back a couple of Dueling Banjos in honor of the show that will be laid before us. But hey, at least Tony is introducing some bills which is a lot more than we can say for the bookends.

Third and final reading on the Small Business Real Property Tax Credit. We’ve discussed, during readings one and two, how our friendly businessmen should be all on board with this. We predict not, since it’s their job to obstruct, not make things better. When this predictability ensues sip on your Slap In The Face. You know you want to!

Break Time! If it isn’t close to 7:00, Billy will complain and moan and nobody will care! Just smile at his childish antics and have a sip or two of your Raging Bitch. 

At 7:00 we reconvene for the Urbana Rezoning application. We talked a little of this when it came up at last week’s workshop. We predict we will see lots of friends of the Yokel up at the podium this evening. This is probably going to be a long hearing, so pace yourself with your favorite bottle of wine.

Council member comments AKA Where everything goes to hell in a hand-basket!  Let’s take a look into our crystal balls and see if we can make some predictions:

  1. Kirby will dead horse beat the issue of Jessica and Jerry voting on the budget.
  2. Kirby will say Jan’s unethical because she wasn’t on board with Hough’s unvetted, last- minute ethics bill. He’ll pull out some donations that Jan received that “proves” she’s a criminal. But hey, don’t forget what we found.
  3. Billy wants to have a whole entire workshop on why he can’t Skype into closed meetings.
  4. Someone will say Jan is grabbing all the land up.
  5. M.C. and Jessica will be forced to use their time to real time fact check Shrelauter.

Zoning out on the zoning workshop. And what did Kirby accuse the libs of inventing today?!

fclocalyokel1 Comment

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Yesterday’s workshop agenda had two purposes. The first purpose was to change some of the procedures in regard to rezoning hearings. They were passed 7-0, click here to see the changes in red.

The second part of the meeting was to inform the council about the upcoming public hearing concerning the Urbana rezoning application. The application was read aloud to council members so they would be prepared for next week’s public hearing . If you would like to peruse the details, clicky here.

Billy ends the workshop by demanding there be more workshops on why he can’t call into closed sessions and tracking all the rogue inspectors running loose through the county.

Kirby blames a lot on the liberals. (AKA Libs!) Today’s edition of “How terrible those libards are” is a sight to behold:

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WHEEE! It’s always hard to know where to begin with these kinds of posts. Apparently,  the civil and women’s rights movements were all an unnecessary waste of time! Didn’t your history teacher enlighten you to the fact that business owners didn’t give a damn about any of those things? IN FACT, liberals made up the concepts of race, gender and ethnicity just to stick it to the businessman! Businessmen all over the world have always been at the forefront of the equality movements. If they happened to be a bigoted, misogynistic pig, well, a GOOD employee could just take their feet and find a job elsewhere. There’s so many jobs to be had people! There’s no reason that KLY needs to introduce this pesky legislation.  It’s a true historical fact that before those pesky libs got involved in labeling, everything was great! Women and minorities had equal rights and there were rainbows and unicorns everywhere! Right?!

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SHUT UP HISTORY!!!

In the comment section of this post we have even MORE Young family drama:

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Really, Blaine? You are accusing someone of playing the trouble card. Don’t let the irony knock you down on that one!

 

The mystery is solved!!!!

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Council member comments are now up and running as a part of the February 7th meeting. We’ve been speculating wildly as to what the hell Billy did to cause the county AV department to have to go into full editing mode. The mystery has been solved:

Billy claims that we have a rogue inspector roaming through the county randomly inspecting businesses! And this very naughty inspector is costing these businesses, which have been cited for violations, tens of thousands of dollars!!! Billy says that this individual, that he NAMES out LOUD, is “out of control!” He needs to be stopped! Billy is called out by both Bud and the county attorney for disparaging a county employee by name in a public forum, to which Billy screams, “Strike that from the record.” We know someone we would like to strike from our county government.

Billy is also very agitated that while he was out globe trotting, the council would not allow him to conference call in concerning the MTC. To him it is “sad that we have a government that operates this way.” One cannot help but wonder if this call was to take place while he was soaking up the rays with Blaine in Costa Rica. Nevertheless, Billy really hopes that there are some serious repercussions!

Kirby is also worth mentioning if for nothing else, his wild conspiracy theories.

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Everything is terrible!

First off, now Kirby’s not accusing anyone mind you, BUT if county employees are aware of the bargain basement price some of the county machines are being auctioned off at..well ya know they could grab them up and then sell them off for a pretty penny!! Let’s be clear though, he is NOT aware of  ANYONE doing such a thing. But hey, what if? It’s very interesting to him.

Next on the conspiracy ticker, Jan Gardner. Did you people know that for as little as $50 you could get yourself a seat on the Planning Commission?  Everything, and he means EVERYTHING is for sale around here! “Gotta pay to play”! Kirby then starts ticking off some donations that Jan received and guess what? We are looking Kirby’s up as well! If he wants to start the donation listing game we will be more than glad to participate! What set Kirby off on the donation trail? Well, Michael Hough’s last minute ethics bill. You know the one that was submitted on February 1st with a February 3rd turn around date? Not the ethics bill that was properly vetted by the public, just something Hough scratched down last minute. If you are asking how Kirby found out that Jan was so unethical, you need look no further than our frenemy Red Maryland. That’s right a blog just like our own!(Come on Kirby, where’s the love? Don’t we get a mention?) Too bad that we couldn’t see Billy’s face when Kirby brought them up because man oh man they don’t like the Shreve!

As usual, the other council members had positive things to report, along with the unenviable job of telling us why everything that came out of Shrelauter’s collective jaw is so very wrong indeed. And for that, we thank them!

 

Lock up your horses!! Kirby’s on a dead horse beating spree…again!

fclocalyokel2 Comments

 

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We aren’t going to have any horses left if this keeps up!

 

Our own local social media crackerjack  is re-hashing some old business:

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First of all, since when is he all for paying teachers more?!?!  Does he think we all have amnesia or something?  BECAUSE OH NO KIRBY WE DO NOT! We all remember your years on the BOCC when you refused to fund FCPS above MOE. And we know that when you don’t fund above MOE then there are no raises to be had! He also bragged about how he, if elected to the council and appointed liaison to FCPS, would point out how the school system could do more with less every step of the way! So please, spare us the b.s. that you are all for raising teacher’s pay.

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I am all for paying teachers starting….NOW!

Most of us know not to engage Kirby on his false equivalency concerning his not getting county contracts and Jessica and Jerry voting on a budget that includes money that will go to the school system. He appears to have some newbies and fellow dead horse beaters egging him on his comment section. But first, ICYMI, here’s one of the first graphics your Lady Yokels ever used that succinctly displays the difference between Kirby getting county contracts and Jerry and Jessica voting on the county budget:

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So easy any idiot could understand!

Well, as is often the case, Kirby makes it all so much worse in the comments. First let’s go ahead and bash the guy we sit right next to during council meetings:

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Hear that Jerry? Kirby plays the tiniest violin in the world whenever you try to explain to him….well probably anything. Save your breath from now on Council Member Donald, tis not worth it! Now he has some thoughts on the corruption of the County Attorney……

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His next comment is in response to another person saying they would DEMAND answers as to why teachers can vote on the budget:

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Oh the unholy corruption!!!! Come on Kirby take some pictures of these pick up paper basketball games!  We would ALL love to see that! And finally….

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That’s right folks, the most dishonest people inhabit the walls of Winchester Hall. The MOST. We think someone doth protest too much! Perhaps this is some kind of projection he’s using. For don’t we often find those traits most abhorrent in others that we hate within ourselves? Kirby, you may not realize that you need to do this, but you really need to apologize to pretty much everyone you work with on the council. This kind of talk is not only rude, immature, vengeful and well just plain stupid. But, it isn’t very conducive to having any kind of functional government.