We here at Local Yokel are looking forward to some well deserved reading time. We love you, our faithful readers, and would like to share what’s on our must read list. This is an ongoing feature so please check back for updates!
Summer Reading List
Dear FNP Editorial Board, Are you new here?
We are scratching our heads and winding our butts over here digesting the editorials from Tuesday and Sunday. Or whenever they are from, the dates online and the shuffling of the deck makes it hard to keep track. His own, worst enemy is from Friday or today, and it kind of piggybacks on the Sunday editorial they published online on Friday, possibly. At the time it wasn’t chronologically challenging, just chock full of dubious logic. Maybe this is some sort of device to round out the feeling of being shaken like a martini while trying to follow the thoughts here, which can now be summed up as, “Everyone is right. Also, everyone is wrong.”
For our part it seems a lot like they need a reason over there to try and sympathize with Kirby, because some of the people they’d like to have read and buy the paper think he is the bee’s knees. But, it’s such a stretch especially to call Jan to task because they have so lately noticed that the executive role is pretty powerful.
According to county attorney Michael Chomel, the power to issue an executive order is inherent in the position. However, it is not specifically addressed in the charter.
Gardner shouldn’t be using a power without first having a public discussion about what that power entails and its scope. As it is, she appears to have claimed for herself an alarming amount of authority under a nebulous, unspecified provision, not approved by those voters who supported charter government.
The nerve of this woman: deciding that the ethics commission’s opinion was inadequately ethical, then doing something about it in alignment with bipartisan support – notably public support from our hero Bud Otis (R-easonable) in the office of Council President. Checking the newspaper comments section and social media, it’s also clear that Jan is doing what people on both sides of the aisle have hoped from her. The FNP is coming alarmingly close to the insinuations that Billy and Kirby and Co are using. They go on to say that none of her supporters would be comfortable with Blaine Young and this kind of power. Oh hahahahahahaha, we are going to laugh til we cry about that. On that point they are correct, but in what sense is this Jan Gardner’s fault? It is almost as though this role was tailor made for him and Kirby (and the usual suspects) to abuse to mutual benefit, and then the dynasty failed to coronate the chosen son. If one can imagine such an absurd scenario. It’s like this was written by someone who has only seen the beautiful Frederick County in pictures.
Now, gracious me, Jan is acting like a queen! We wonder from whence such notions come!
If they wanted to criticize her actions, they should have stuck to the obvious point that she should have known Kirby would respond to this like a starving bear being poked out of his winter slumber with a stick Slim Jim. However, there’s nothing Jan Gardner will ever do that won’t evoke that reaction from some people around here, so it’s a point that doesn’t count for much.
NB: while we may disagree with the contents of these editorials, we are ardent supporters of the local media. Do imagine what kind of advantage the cronies would have with a vacuum in the local media. These things keep us locals up at night.
The buzz of Frederick County
It’s always interesting how two groups of people can come to two vastly different conclusions when looking at the same exact situation. This whole ethics opinion is a prime example of such a phenomenon. Jan, Bud, Jessica, Jerry and M.C. all believe that the county should conduct it’s business openly and fairly. While Kirby, Billy and Tony believe that Kirby should be allowed to low ball everyone’s bids and snatch up all those county contracts for his own. Now, we always appreciate a good debate, but so far have not found one. Instead we been subjected to immature, inflammatory banter on WFMD and unbelievable rude behavior at a public county council meeting.
Then on this beautiful Memorial Day morning we see an article entitled “The Genesis of a Relationship” penned by no other than Mr. Delauter himself. So we reluctantly click the link, really not happy about giving The Tentacle any more web hits, to see what #KirbyDelauter has to say today. It begins with this sentence:
As you are probably aware, the buzz in Frederick County is about ethics. As it currently stands Frederick County has the same ethics laws as the state of Maryland.
Oh, we are aware. More than aware. Well, we read through the article trying to find something, anything that looks as though he has a leg to stand on. But instead…well just look:
It’s very disappointing to have this executive order come down with no notice, no meeting, and with Council President Otis backing it, without the courtesy of a phone call to me or any discussion whatsoever beforehand. What a coward we have in Mr. Otis. What a lap dog for the County Executive Gardner. His lack of leadership is the only consistent thing about Bud Otis. He is consistently bad at leading this council.
As I’ve said many times, I will continue to do what I said I would do: expose tax and spend policies, watch out for your tax money, and serve you honorably and with conviction.
Once you get through the smoke and mirrors of the Jan Gardner and Bud Otis sideshow, soon enough you will see who is a businessman/politician, and who the politician’s politician are. One looks out for others, the others look out for their own best interest.
We ALL know that Bud calling Kirby ahead of time would have only resulted in a verbal assault on Bud. There’s absolutely no other way that would have turned out. And the nerve calling Bud and Jan’s action a sideshow! We are sorry, but not allowing ONE councilman to hoard all the county contracts for himself does NOT mean that the county isn’t business friendly. And we really don’t know how in the world he can say he has behaved honorably this past week. If that was honorable behavior then we cannot even begin to guess what he would consider dishonorable. And how is he looking out for everyone’s else best interest in this situation? HOW?!
Once again we will reiterate the rather obvious point that if Kirby really wants to bid on county contracts, something he was not allowed to do as a commissioner, then he can relinquish his seat. Jan acted appropriately and totally within the law of the charter when she made an Executive Order stating that NO county executive or council member could profit from county contracts. This issue is settled. How much longer until the 3 amigos realize that and actually start doing something useful?
Tip of our hat
This week we have seen an explosion of immaturity from Councilmen Delauter and Shreve. If it had not been for the wise, mature and thoughtful words of our new BFF, Bud Otis, we may have had Delauter’s excavation company dig us a hole where we could drink our fireballs in peace. Bud’s response to the wretched, vitriolic mess that came out of #’s mouth deserves repeating:
“As President of the Frederick County Council, I have continually voiced my support for the highest ethical standards possible for elected officials. We serve the citizens of Frederick County and they deserve officials who are honest, avoid the appearance of impropriety and are open in their activities on behalf of the citizens. My perspective is in line with the overwhelming majority of citizens who want honest government processes and leadership. My perspective has not changed from when I served as Chair of the Ethics Commission.
“As a family man of honor with a long-standing record of ethical service to our citizens, I cannot stand by and allow fellow Council Member Kirby Delauter to make rude and offensive comments about me and other officials during a public broadcast. His recent behavior is reprehensible and warrants a public apology. This is especially important in light of Mr. Delauter’s vote in support of the recently approved Code of Civility.
“Regarding the recently issued Ethics Commission advisory opinion, I would like to clarify that the commission issues opinions based on its interpretation of the Ethics Ordinance. The commission does not create the rules, but it interprets rules that others adopt. County Executive Jan Gardner’s Executive Order, which I fully support, specifically addresses the procurement process and brings fairness and clarity to the citizens and those who wish to do business with Frederick County Government. As the executive and council continue to build our foundation for the future of Charter Government, we are determined to level the playing field for all those interested in bidding on projects with Frederick County Government.
“As I have said before, I believe the Ethics Advisory Opinion is wrong in its position that an elected county council member’s private business can bid on and perform work on county capital improvement projects and contracts. I believe that our citizens agree with me that there is an inherent conflict of interest or appearance of favoritism with an elected official bidding and performing work on county government projects.
“Disparaging others publicly in an emotional rush of words is not appropriate or reflective of a public servant who seeks to have the respect of his constituents. I welcome any citizens to contact me and share their opinions on my positions.”
Wow, wow,wow! Mr. Otis you get our very first tip of our hat:
For you sir are a class act. And if your party isn’t happy with you remember there’s always plenty of room on the other side.
Last night’s council meeting: the good, the bad, the UGLY
The Good
First things first, in the spirit of Cannes, the red carpet looks. Jerry looking professorial in a good way with his jacket and tie, Jessica in a delightful chartreuse, and MC with a classic scarf (bold neckwear a salute to her rapper image). Bud is elegant as always, with pinstripes in his suit. Tony is in “Friday at the office” wear, with a short sleeve plaid button up. He and Kirby forgot their county pins. It happens. Plus, Kirby can’t pin stuff on that Under Armour fabric. It leaves holes, but that’s okay since Billy wore an appliquéd school uniform with a truly enormous county seal to make up for it. A smart nod to his role as an elected official (which may fail when juxtaposed with the fact that he never acts like one). Nobody knows what they’re wearing from the waist down. Maybe bare feet like everybody else. ?
As an added bonus, things start with a public comment from a speaker wearing a Delauter campaign shirt. Wonder what he’s gonna say. haaaaaaa
The…Undecided
We’re out to lunch on Tony Chmelik. Quality acting from him as he belabors questions about taxes that don’t increase but do. He is perfectly credible in his portrayal of a person who has never paid taxes and has no idea what happens when property assessments increase (or when they don’t). He seems fit for higher office, with his doe-eyed looks and even-tempered behavior. Which is sort of scary to start thinking, because we do not drink the tea here.
The Bad
There were numerous opportunities for Bud and the Democrats (great band name) to say some version of, “We’ve already covered all of this, and we’re not going to talk about it anymore.” To explain the logical fallacy of comparing the teachers to Kirby’s business, again. To explain that taxes pay for stuff we need, and we need 4 new deputies. That’s when we remembered Sheriff Jenkins rolled along in some earlier meeting with his “cream rises to the top” thinking and complained that he can’t afford quality, and Bud also noted that such logic applies to the school system as well.
*duh
We had to fortify with a glass of Sledgehammer before even clicking on the archives. If we had come up with a drinking game for this meeting, everyone playing would have died of alcohol poisoning. The only saving grace is that hardly anyone in the county even pays attention to this stuff, so they’d all be fine. Maybe that part should be demoted to the ugly section.
The Ugly
Now there’s going to be crazy infighting amongst your local yokel writers over who loves Bud the most, because he pulled out a most brilliant thing. He said, “You get what you pay for.” Yes he did. And we swooned.
The UGLY
Kirby started off with a tantrum and called Bud a chickenshit. By the end of the meeting he looked like he was going to explode again. Swiveling back and forth in his chair, with his elbows sticking out from behind his head.
The worst of it all is that Billy and Kirby treated the council meeting the same way they treat going on WFMD. They wasted time, they ranted and raved. They spent considerable energy pretending that they had some real ideas about the budget, but we watched that, and it was like a kindergartener doing art work. You don’t put that stuff in the Smithsonian. Their behavior is ridiculous.
Here’s to you! Bravo!
Kirby blows a gasket…and now Cupid is dead.
Not only is the honeymoon over but I think this council (looking right at you Kirby!) killed Cupid tonight.
So the meeting. On any other place on Earth this would probably be a pretty boring thing to observe. After all, it’s a meeting to vote on the budget and property rate. That’s all. But no, no,no #KirbyDelauter has a bone to pick and he’s going to make it all about him.
The meeting begins with two barely coherent Kirby supporters (seriously readers we need to step it up and start having our own speakers because this is too much), who claim that Kirby is being hunted down and persecuted. Because this is exactly like that but let’s move on.
So Kirby claims that he is a live and let live kind of guy (cough, cough, gag. )But since the President of the Board called me a criminal and put my business on the spot (never happened,) I am going to do the only logical thing and go after Jerry and Jessica. Because FCPS is a business and they are voting on their business just like Kirby! It’s exactly the same thing, exactly! He then goes on to say that if the teachers voting on the budget isn’t a conflict of interest nothing is. NOTHING. And since they were endorsed by the union that proves they are corrupt. (I really hope he didn’t hurt himself coming up with all of this). So Jerry (our hero) once again schools him. I know, as a teacher, Mr. Donald is used to repeating himself to a bunch of high schoolers. Too bad he has to keep doing it with adults. But since we’ve previously written about what he said, we won’t repeat. Billy amusingly chimes in about his love of history. Sorry Billy we cannot write history buff next to your name. He basically makes Jan’s, Bud’s and everyone else’s point for them. He tells us that Kirby is losing millions of dollars by not getting county contracts. A Billy says what?
Then Kirby goes after our friend Bud, which we will not tolerate.
We are very proud to announce that our friend Bud can defend himself very nicely.
Good Queen Jan, Her Royal Highness, Our Lady of Immense Patience
The story in which Billy calls Jan a queen because of ethics. Which sounds kinda familiar, but much more fun and fanciful than that earlier ugliness about tyrants and dictators. They’re just not so sparkly and glamorous, and imagining a Good and Lovely Queen makes us think of Glinda the Good Witch, and gives us warm feelings about her kind and wise guidance. Amidst personal attacks, she stands by and keeps her comments to the situation at hand, which makes it that much more a pleasure to sing her praises.
Kirby D had this to say:
Delauter said Gardner’s decision to issue the order is “par for the course.” With the decisions she is making, he said, the county will go back into the same hole that it was in when the last board of commissioners last took office, which was after Gardner’s last term as commissioners president.
Yes indeed. We all remember the utopian vision of the BOCC under Blaine Young, with Billy and Kirby to boot. We could go out to eat with the hundred bucks, and they got to “trim the fat.” You know, county workers who do all the things to make our county the place we call home. County employees who might have liked to afford to go out to eat themselves, we have to suppose.
This all makes us think of con-men, tricksters and cheats in so much detail. In the end they are supposed to turn out to be good. Is that only in old movies? Not to draw out this conceit and suggest Bud Otis has ever been such a bad seed, but at least in him we see that our first impressions were wrong. It’s sad to feel so hopeless in regards to some.
And another word about tricksters. Does it seem a mite strange that if you are on an ethics panel that believes politicization has run amok that the decision would be to resign? That sure strikes us as an odd way to ensure ethics are maintained. It almost sounds like b.s.
May 19th council meeting: What did Billy do this week? And whose foot is that?
So compared to the past few council meetings this one was relatively short. But don’t worry Billy still had plenty of time to put on a show.
Billy has a lot of trouble with procedure, and we mean a lot. We are torn between two possible explanations for his behavior. The first one is that he is purposefully trying to make things difficult for every single person on that council due to some misguided notion that in doing so he will sway others to his point of view. Or perchance he is just a really obtuse buffoon that really has no idea on Zeus’ green Earth what the hell he’s doing up there. You be the judge.
Every meeting begins with public comments. Every single one! So at this point Billy should know that when it’s the public’s time to talk he needs to keep his trap shut for three short minutes. Well, not Billy. When Citizen Patrick takes Billy to task for abstaining and for not serving the citizens of this fine county, Billy interrupts. He is quickly called out for said infraction and we were lucky enough to catch his reaction:
Next on the agenda–every agenda–is council member comments. Comments, not questions. Well, no,no,no you commoners. Billy wants to ask questions and he wants to do it now!!! He’s really upset about all that’s been going on with the ethics commission and he wants answers right this very second! Well, our poor overworked county lawyer has to explain the difference between the words comment and question. Billy is still having none of this and tries to get Bud to make a motion to allow it. Bud refuses (thumbs up), and gets in a little verbal skirmish with Billy telling him that they would try to get to it at the end of the agenda. PER PROCEDURE!
So let’s get to the voting section of the evening. Can you guess what happened (if you were following our drinking game, you are probably in a corner drooling all over yourself right now)? Budget transfers? ABSTAIN! Meeting minutes? ABSTAIN! But, what’s this, is Billy having a change of heart? Because he voted in the affirmative to allow a hearing concerning a grant the Department of Public Works is applying for. Don’t worry, he didn’t have a full change of heart. He still refused to use the word AYE. He instead chose the more flowery YES. Because he is a petulant child man.
Now, dear readers this is at least the third instance in which we have seen council member Shreve render a county employee speechless. Not in an ” Oh Mr. Shreve you rendered me silent with your vast knowledge of this subject” way. More like a “I cannot believe I am being asked this question by a fully formed adult” kind of way.
So back to the ethics question. Billy wants answers about the separation of powers between the county executive and the council. He’s told that no such thing exists. He then starts hammering away about who would represent the council if they had a dispute with the county executive. This is when the pause occurred and our fine county attorney Mathias really had to gather his thoughts before proceeding. He explains again the duties delegated to both bodies as per the charter. But this still isn’t enough. It’s as though Billy really believes that everyone on that council is going to stand in revolt against County Executive Jan because Kirby can not bid on county projects. Like seriously believes that he can stage a coup. Except he has no idea what he is talking about at all! Per protocol.
We will leave you with two screenshots from tonight’s meeting that struck our funny bone. Who is coming to the meetings without any shoes on?
County Council Drinking Game: 5/19 Meeting
Stock your bar! County Budget Transfers are on Tuesday’s agenda. It will be streaming on FCG TV starting at 4:30. If you have ever enjoyed/stared slack-jawed at a “reality show” on “The Learning Channel,” do we ever have a treat for you! Reality in its purest form: local government. Representative democracy in, um, action…is that the word we are looking for? It’ll have to do.
Suggested rules of the game (you may have to amend these for your own safety):
- Environmental science is alluded to as a faith-based matter–drink.
- For any reason the spin is spun that the “Rain Tax” has been repealed–drink.
- During the budget transfer discussion libraries are regarded as obsolete/undeserving–drink.
- Kirby loses his temper–make a round of Angry Balls.
- Abstains from vote–drink.
- Billy makes it a trend–add Absinthe to your shopping list for next time.
- Grover Norquist’s name is invoked during public comments–finish your drink.
- Anything that might be paraphrased, “Kirby Delauter is being slighted; teachers are favored: no fair, no fair, no fair.”–drink.
Comment on our Facebook Page to suggest rules for Thursday’s meeting. The agenda looks promising.
frederick local yokel 