So compared to the past few council meetings this one was relatively short. But don’t worry Billy still had plenty of time to put on a show.

Billy has a lot of trouble with procedure, and we mean a lot. We are torn between two possible explanations for his behavior. The first one is that he is purposefully trying to make things difficult for every single person on that council due to some misguided notion that in doing so he will sway others to his point of view. Or perchance he is just a really obtuse buffoon that really has no idea on Zeus’ green Earth what the hell he’s doing up there. You be the judge.

Read the charter Billy! I said read it!!!!
Read the charter Billy! I said read it!!!!

Every meeting begins with public comments. Every single one! So at this point Billy should know that when it’s the public’s time to talk he needs to keep his trap shut for three short minutes. Well, not Billy. When Citizen Patrick takes Billy to task for abstaining and for not serving the citizens of this fine county, Billy interrupts. He is quickly called out for said infraction and we were lucky enough to catch his reaction:

Why can't I do whatever I want whenever I want? Why?
Why can’t I do whatever I want whenever I want? Why?

Next on the agenda–every agenda–is council member comments. Comments, not questions. Well, no,no,no you commoners. Billy wants to ask questions and he wants to do it now!!! He’s really upset about all that’s been going on with the ethics commission and he wants answers right this very second! Well, our poor overworked county lawyer has to explain the difference between the words comment and question. Billy is still having none of this and tries to get Bud to make a motion to allow it. Bud refuses (thumbs up), and gets in a little verbal skirmish with Billy telling him that they would try to get to it at the end of the agenda. PER PROCEDURE!

So let’s get to the voting section of the evening. Can you guess what happened (if you were following our drinking game, you are probably in a corner drooling all over yourself right now)? Budget transfers? ABSTAIN! Meeting minutes? ABSTAIN! But, what’s this, is Billy having a change of heart? Because he voted in the affirmative to allow a hearing concerning a grant the Department of Public Works is applying for. Don’t worry, he didn’t have a full change of heart. He still refused to use the word AYE. He instead chose the more flowery YES. Because he is a petulant child man.

Now, dear readers this is at least the third instance in which we have seen council member Shreve render a county employee speechless. Not in an ” Oh Mr. Shreve you rendered me silent with your vast knowledge of this subject” way. More like a “I cannot believe I am being asked this question by a fully formed adult” kind of way.

So back to the ethics question. Billy wants answers about the separation of powers between the county executive and the council. He’s told that no such thing exists. He then starts hammering away about who would represent the council if they had a dispute with the county executive. This is when the pause occurred and our fine county attorney Mathias really had to gather his thoughts before proceeding. He explains again the duties delegated to both bodies as per the charter. But this still isn’t enough. It’s as though Billy really believes that everyone on that council is going to stand in revolt against County Executive Jan because Kirby can not bid on county projects. Like seriously believes that he can stage a coup. Except he has no idea what he is talking about at all! Per protocol.

We will leave you with two screenshots from tonight’s meeting that struck our funny bone. Who is coming to the meetings without any shoes on?

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