Tag: Jessica Fitzwater

Legislative priorities: moonshine & mobile home edition

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It’s that time of year when Frederick County decides what they want the State of Maryland to accomplish. Always fun, because it allows our Council bookends to get creative with their fantasy lives.

 

 

Our current favorite is Billy Shreve’s (failed) proposal that mobile homes be sold as real property and not as vehicles. Here is the best way to explain why it ain’t never gonna happen: what mortgage lender would find it in their interest to make a loan where the collateral can be up and VROOM VROOM coal-rolled right off into the sunset? He had another one about exemptions from the Forest Resource Ordinance that fell flat due to insufficient information provided. Why can’t they have a staff to understand things for him, freeing him from the obligations of his job?

Jerry Donald FTW with a measure to deregulate the liquor industry (if you click on the FNP link up above they say it’s come about because of something impacting a Brunswick brewery). YEEHAW! The current code does not allow smaller banquet facilities–those with less than a quarter of a million dollars invested in non real estate type stuff–to have a liquor license. Donald points out that this seems to be a measure to eliminate competition. Look, we’re all Republicans on this one. More competition! Oh wait, when was the last time a Republican busted up a monopoly? Never mind then. Still not Republicans.

Modest hat tip to hoodie clad and newly beardless Tony Chmelik (we get the feeling he was under the weather with that awful thing going around, and boy do we sympathize: get well soon, Mr. Chmelik!) for moving his school related priority through the Board of Ed. ICYMI, he wants homeschoolers to be eligible for county school sports teams. Kudos to him for being the lone current Republican of the Council who seems to understand how processes and procedures best work.

Y’all aren’t going to believe this one. The King of the Deplorables and his buddy (these are Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter, if you’re new here–we’ve written a bit about this particular issue) voted against a position statement favoring providing support to youth victims of human trafficking. Billy interjected a complaint about not knowing what it was until they saw it written out, which becomes ultra weird immediately afterward when…wait, no. It’s already ultra weird. Gross.

Kirby. He had an idea about investigating funding for school resources, so that perhaps funds from the state allocated to one project might be moved to another if they are not used for the one they were intended for. He tried to inexplicably call this a position statement. This already had us furrowing our brows, so when fellow semantics enthusiast Jessica Fitzwater pinpointed the issue we were grateful. More than position statement, this seemed a (likely reasonable) call to investigate. It needs to become a fully fledged idea, and that’s fine–even for Billy–to leave in the hands of Roger Wilson and the County Executive’s office, even though we certainly had the impression that we don’t currently know precisely what it says. Perhaps we should simply be glad for a rare sign of good faith. Passed 7-0, too! Well done! Was this a moment of bipartisan harmony? Perhaps we were hallucinating.

There was what felt like a long hearing about the Forest Resource Ordinance. It had us mostly sawing logs like it was a zoning discussion. We did perk up when Kirby mused about what this was actually protecting and was told that there is a definition of forest and the county and the state use the same one. Guffaw!

That’s yer County Council, folks!

 

The Tony Show gets upstaged by Kirby in bizarre encore performance

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Loquacious lecturing Tony Chmelik–imagine our surprise when we fret that Shrelauter will muck things up, and then he takes the reins. He got into orator mode again this week, and man we can do without the Tony with a condescending tone schtick. Sighhhh.

There was long discussion of the River Board process, which had Councilman Chmelik frustrated with the time these things take and the lack of television air time, but the bulk of his grievances centered on County Executive Jan Gardner’s public briefing last week regarding the school capacity report and traffic study. And he wrote and delivered an exhausting, pompous speech on the matter, in lieu of discussing like a normal person.

Jessica Fitzwater criticized him for wanting to spend additional taxpayer dollars to find something that reached conclusions he agreed with, and after listening to him complain about money already spent and tiresome, lengthy processes, it was hard not to see her point. He had some great ideas in there, though, such as how it would be inaccurate to assume all the houses would actually be sold (????). We find that kind of funny coming from someone with as large a family as he has. Why didn’t the report assume families of twelve would move into every one of those homes? We can come at this from both sides, dude. It also bugged him out that increasing costs of construction weren’t factored in, and isn’t that shooting yourself in the foot, if you want to say maybe we don’t need to plan for big expenses? We have a confuse.

At any rate, that finally ended (if you’d like to know more, the Frederick News Post has a good run down that won’t make you want to stab yourself in the ears; we cannot recommend actually exposing yourself to the archives of this meeting) and they went into closed session. Chmelik helpfully acknowledged during Council Member Comments that we had probably heard enough from him. Hoo-boy. Truer words never spoken.

And then, apparently national laughingstock Kirby Delauter wanted to take it outside with Jerry Donald over that meme someone made with Jerry spanking Kirby. We’ll put it in here for educational purposes, since he’s opened the door to that (genius!), and ICYMI. It’s in reference to Jerry Donald using his social media account to publicize the inaccuracy of Kirby’s assertions that the Democrats on the Council are planning to make Frederick a sanctuary county. How dare he insist Misleading Push-Poll and Fake News Employer Kirby stick to the facts. This caused Kirby to (allegedly) call him another name for a trendy pink knitted lady hat, approximately one time for each woman who attended that march, it sounds like. He wants Jerry Donald to monitor his Facebooking more closely, which is beyond hilarious, considering the source. Maybe Kirby should worry about the damage he does with his own Facebook account. Or lippy outbursts.

Did we think this was worth using? Not that much, really. Now that the context has changed? Yes, yes it is.

A Miner Detail spoke with Delauter, who claims that M.C. Keegen-Ayer and Jerry Donald just want to make the council look foolish–an assertion that causes us to hoot in side-spitting, knee slapping laughter, given the dedication he has to looking like a fool all by his own self.

Do you know what? Billy Shreve wasn’t even worth mentioning. That’s how bad all this was!

The worst public commenter in the history of forever. The end.

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The bulk of last night’s meeting is unfortunately going to get lost in one lady’s theatrics. Theatrics that we are oh so sure were orchestrated by Shrelauter. The only consolation being that one was the total number of people who answered their call to beat up on Bud. Click here to watch this hot mess for yourself!

So this angry lady, who has been before the council in the past to yell at Bud for not being the kind of Republican she thought he should be, is VERY, VERY ANGRY! Her litany of complaints against Bud include the very serious charges of:

  • Picnicking with Bernie Sanders supporters.
  • Not cutting taxes to her satisfaction
  • Not aligning himself with Shrelauter and thereby becoming a lap dog of a woman who (and this is the lady pedaling these rumors) has affairs at La Paz.

She calls Bud a scoundrel. We can’t help but wonder if Billy is going to start yelling civility code, but then we remember that is very situational for him. She concludes her tirade with some gifts for Bud!

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A potted plant because Bud just sits there and a yellow tie for cowardice! Really, lady, if you are going to use props at least TRY to be witty. This is just really poorly done! It was not totally lost on us that she seems a lot like a woman scorned. Is this a situation of unrequited love? We love to speculate about our characters…

 

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Oprah knows how to give things away!!

Thankfully she was followed by local hero and Rational Republican Matt Seubert, who called her comments exactly what they were: LOW CLASS!

Billy decides to vote against the agenda and abstain on the budget adjustments, again.

There are two nice presentations from the Metropolitan Washington Council of Governments and Livable Frederick.

There is some discussion regarding changing county council rules and things get a little dicey. Billy and Kirby are all confused as to why the council can’t have good, productive discussions and we have to try really hard not to throw our computers out the window. It’s truly amazing the lack of insight some people have.

The two bills pass and then we are back to public comment. And sigh:

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You can’t see it but she’s holding up her cell phone!

The VERY mad lady is back. In the true high drama fashion that she seems to enjoy, with a recording of Bud…which she plays into the microphone. Bud tries to object, since the comments aren’t hers but a voice recording of him, to which Billy yells 1st amendment! This lady is truly obsessed with Bud and how he allegedly wronged her in every way imaginable. We would encourage you dear readers, to email Mr. Otis at botis@FrederickCountyMD.gov, so when she and her ilk PIA all his email they can see your praise!

We roll on into Council Member Comments, which is again divided into Haters v. Boosters (and this seems to be more the difference in the frequent 4-3 split than partisanship, if you notice the tone of the comments section). Kirby gripes awhile in an effort to criticize Bud, and also because Matt Seubert said he was not a fiscal conservative. Ironically part of this griping includes a claim that tax dollars are rolling in but they don’t even spend them. He fixated on a bridge that he supposes they aren’t having to pay maintenance on right now. It’s a weird kind of logic. Plus, later Jessica Fitzwater clarifies that the TIF rolls future taxes over to the developer for community improvement projects, and so Kirby is not a common tax and tax and tax and don’t spend conservative? Also he tells us that he didn’t vote for charter government, which is weird because we don’t remember any public criticism of it until he had to live with its effects.

Jerry likes ice cream. (But seriously, the creamery sounds cool) Jerry also likes Middletown, and talks about positive stuff in the community.

Billy (and his old BOCC) takes credit for the creamery. Also Billy wants to complain about Bud and leadership and point fingers. Also Billy did not favor charter government. Who knew????!!! Seriously, if you all knew all this and nobody ever told us, we are gonna be upset. Why was this a secret? huh? Billy speculates that Jessica called the ACLU on the sheriff, to which he is refuted.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer declines to discuss the hooey, but does acknowledge the elephant in the room. She also talks about a bunch of cool stuff happening in the community. If you have summer guests arriving, look into the Whiskey Tasting and the Jazz Festival.

Bud says nice stuff and is nice again and doesn’t even get mad at the haters. He simply notes, “You can tell that the election campaign is heating up, and that’s fine,” since everyone is going to have their opportunity to tell the truth.

Is Matt Seubert going to run for something? We like the cut of his jib.

June 6th frazzled mommy recap

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We were all busy last night, because at this time of year all moms are required to be in seven places at once. The FNP has good information about the important stuff that happened last night (and if you can’t read that because you aren’t subscribing to the paper, read this). We will just round things out with the gossip column details.

Tony Chmelik ducked out because he has relatives in town in celebration of his son’s wedding. Congratulations to the Chemliks and best wishes to the young couple. Lucky of Councilman Chmelik to have a solid reason to bounce, because the archives say that meeting is six hours long…and so we are just gonna trust the real news this week.

#KirbyDelauter gave kudos to Billy for his wood recycling bill, which is very important grown up legislating that he is finally getting around to on behalf of his constituents.

Look who’s gotten their boobies!

He also talked about illegal dumping and how that happens when fees are too high, which is possibly true (or also because some fools are lazy). Riddle me this, dingdong. How would we pay for it without “too high” fees? Spoiler alert: the answer is TAXES. And you hate those, so…illegal dumping it is?

Jerry Donald said nice things about Middletown’s 250th anniversary and what is being done in recognition of that, and also working together with the town for economic development in downtown Brunswick. He explained that his earlier vote against the water and sewer decision was based upon the timing falling during what we will call the “lame duck” period. He then reiterated his support for the bill that would limit this type of decision making.

Billy Trumpeter Shreve had an argument against that. Something like the other folks who did the decidering were also elected representatives, but as an UberTrumpet he is consistently a hypocrite, and Gorsuch/Garland–months and months ahead of the lame duck stage and still we had to wait for our new moronic overlords–so la di da. And now we’re dancing. Then he attacked Bud and the functioning of the council and how nobody gets to speak anymore, which seems weird since they added those extra public comments segments. The ones that people don’t so much seem to be coming to–although we certainly do not object to the opportunity not to have to listen to them until 0 Dark Thirty before you get your three minutes. And we think that was at Billy’s behest, so don’t say we never have anything positive to say about him! The numerous aggrieved people he described were upset about water runoff, which coming from a hater of fees destined to mitigate water runoff issues also seems like it should be filed in the “none of Shrelauter’s concern” box. Trumpeter Syndrome strikes again.

Jessica Fitzwater had words of congratulations for graduates of all stripes: high school seniors and fire and rescue recruits alike. She also highlighted that the Frederick region was recently named 8th in a list of the top 10 most vibrant arts communities in America. She also remarked upon celebrating the giving spirit of Frederick County with the United Way last week. It’s interesting to note how differently these people speak about the communities they live in. The boosters versus the haters.

M.C. Keegan-Ayer talked about numerous cool things happening (booster!). Teddy Bear Picnic at Everedy Square and Shab Row, FCC Kids on Campus, Barnstomers Tour (tickets available at the Visitor’s Center on East St.), Alive at Five, and family movie nights on Caroll Creek. Worth a Google for details on any of those.

And finally Bud explained that Billy’s real problem is that he still doesn’t know that there is a County Executive and he is not an administrator any more but a legislator, and the whole system has changed. He was very polite and patient about it, which is simply amazing, since it is only the eleventybillionth time this has come up since the charter government was formed.

Fade to black.

 

 

 

May Day! May Day! It’s time to talk about last night’s council member comments!

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If you want to hear about the three hearings last night, read this report in the FNP. We just don’t have the time to sit through all that public testimony. We won’t deprive you, however,  of the council member comments!

We first had to backtrack to public comment. We heard that Friend of the Yokel, Steve McKay, caused Billy to have a hissy fit. And oh what a sight that was! Billy thought that Steve was breaking the civility code because he mentioned someone else who had also given public comment. Billy demands an opinion from legal council. While we wait, we couldn’t help but think: “Doesn’t the civility code only apply to the council council?” That language was pretty specific if we remember it correctly. And YEP! Legal says it only applies to the council! Talk away Steve!

Tony wasn’t going to talk. And how we wish he hadn’t. Rambles on about some client of his in Carroll County that is trying to subdivide a property and all the steps they have to go through, in Carroll County, to do that. And why can’t we just de-regulate everything and use cheap materials?! In case you didn’t know where this was leading, it is definitely why we don’t have affordable housing in Frederick County.

Kirby, sweet cracker in a basket, Kirby. After he agrees with Tony and spews out some arcane Reagan quote, we are dead horsing his school lease back idea. Then he bores the snot out of everyone ranting about lawn mowers and throwing out phrases such as:

“These are the facts!”

“Just putting the numbers out there!”

“Do the math!”

Then, there’s talk of privatizing everything and didn’t they try that already?! Good gracious!

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Our favorite “Kirby Quote” comes when he tries to make an analogy between sausage and how he has to be the big meanie that says no to all the budget stuff:

“People like to eat sausage, but don’t like to see how it’s made!”

He really is a treasure! What are we going to do without him come 2018?

Jerry has some nice things to say and then mysteriously, our feed keeps skipping back to the beginning of the meeting . Kind of like the recording is rejecting a certain someone:

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We swear this is 100% true! We couldn’t listen to the beginning of what he said because it the recording kept skipping back to the beginning!!! LOL!

Billy thinks that people should take care of their pets ANY WAY that they want!! Guess he’s never heard of animal cruelty. We also need more manufactured housing. He wants to know if we’ve ever heard of some guy named Henry Ford and his manufacturing.

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Jessica thanks everyone who came out and Councilwoman Keegan-Ayre for all of her hard work on the solar panel bill.

M.C. reminds us to lock our cars, as 90% of vehicle theft happens to those of us who don’t! Then she has to address some nonsense that was said by Billy on the radio last week.

We know exactly of what she speaks. Some guy who pretends to be a Norse god and has a low rated AM radio show. Random super hero fetish guy was joined last week by not only Billy, but some kid who has been going around Facebook pretending that he’s both a liberal and conservative! Sometimes even arguing between his fake and real profiles for all to see!!  They should actually thank us for listening, a mistake we will not be making again, no matter who the guest may be, since the three of us probably increased his listener-ship by 50%! It was that bad people, so bad that we have to equate it with Blaine’s mess of a program that used to run on WFMD. Such a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense!  We cannot abide a program that will trot Billy out as though he’s some kind of serious legislator. Jessica and M.C. were called anti-environmentalists because they took their time with the solar bill. They, cruelly,  called Bud a Wal-Mart greeter while questioning his mental abilities. The Marvel Comics wanna be even promised to show up at a county council meeting wearing a Wal-Mart vest.

The accusation that M.C. was specifically addressing was the one that Billy made stating that “certain” members of the council were receiving texts from Jan (who watches the live feed of the council meetings in some secret compartment of Winchester Hall) to vote yay or nay on certain parts of the agenda. One of the mental giants on this show then gets the idea to P.I.A. the cell phone texts of the council members (sans Billy, Tony and Kirby of course!),  which CANNOT be done because the county doesn’t store the private text messages of the council members!

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Just ludicrous!

M.C. explains that the last two times she used her phone during the meetings was due to family emergencies. She assures us (not that the sane among us needed reassurance) that there isn’t any espionage afoot!

Bud is going to allow Kirby to put forth his school leaseback idea…again.

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Next week, the budget will be voted on!!! Can’t wait to see what hi jinks are in store for us all!

Yeah, sorry we aren’t listening to four hearings worth of public comment. But we’ll be happy to bring you council member comments!

fclocalyokel2 Comments
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We don’t know how the council members sit for that long!

We won’t listen to comments for three bills and the budget. We just can’t. However, if you would like to click here, or read this nice summary in the Frederick News Post.  We already reported on the first half of the meeting, and now we will bring you what we know you’ve been sitting on the edge of your seats for: Council Member Comments.

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It really shouldn’t be this dramatic, but alas…

Tony’s got nothing to say so we are off to Kirby, and oh dear Sappho. According to Kirby taxes have gone up 10%, and since he doesn’t know anyone whose income has gone up 10% the money doesn’t match up and everyone should move out of Frederick County. Because 10% of one number is always equal to 10% of another number, right?

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Then there was a long winded diatribe, after he shuffled through his papers for awhile, about how he was lied to about payment to a lobbyist. He even referred to our pal Katherine Heerbrandt’s blog. And we encourage you to read the post he was referring to here. Instead of going through Kirby’s rant about how he was lied to and told things were none of his business, you  be the judge of what really happened. All told, we really don’t think Kirby has a very good understanding of the charter and the powers allotted to the different branches of county government. We know, durh.

Jerry informs us that every member of the council was sent an email to make an appointment with the County Executive to discuss budget priorities. Shall we take wagers on who didn’t make an appointment, or is that too easy?

Billy, oh dear Mother Earth, Billy.  He enlightens us to the fact that budget time is really interesting because taxes never go down. (Is that the only reason, pal?) He then asks some really deep rhetorical questions:

“Where does it stop?”

“Where does it end?”

“Where does it end?”

“In Frederick County it looks like it never ends.”

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Frederick County is in grave danger so it seems.

Jessica also reiterates the fact that on January 24th all council members received an email from the County Executive asking for a meeting regarding the budget. She also tells us about some very interesting things she learned on a tour of Ft. Detrick. We like science and knowledge and stuff so all of this was very fun to listen to.

M.C. is the gold star winner of the council member comments!

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We may even commission her a trophy!

M.C. finds it concerning, as do we, that after two years of going through the budget process that is explicitly put forth in the charter, there are still questions about how it works! While she appreciates the effort in coming up with an alternative budget (we don’t!), according to the charter the council can’t do anything with it!! So, she encourages her fellow council members to put their efforts into making amendments to the CE’s budget AS IT IS SPELLED OUT IN THE CHARTER! She also reminds some of her fellow public servants that the charter states that when money is moved from one category to another it must come before the council. The County Executive, per the charter, is allowed to issue checks up to $20,000 without council approval. She then encourages Shrelauter her fellow council members, that if they don’t like these parts of the charter, then they should put some amendments forth next Spring. Until then, thems the rules! Stop wasting everyone’s precious time!

Next week there are a series of hearings and workshops on the budget. Stay tuned!

Is silence always good? Your April 4th meeting breakdown!

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Seriously folks, what’s in store for us?

Besides a couple of utterances of yes, Kirby was as quiet as a dormouse last night. We know we should rejoice that no more dead horses were beaten, but we can’t help but feel that it may just be the quiet before the storm.

You can guess who wasn’t quiet tonight. You know what Billy’s behavior reminds us of? We’ve all come into contact with that person , be it young or old, who is confused about what is going on around them.  And instead of asking questions or perhaps due to a serious mental issue, they lash out at everyone else like they are the idiot. THAT! Case in point, when Bud turns the meeting over to M.C. to run so he can introduce an amendment, Billy screams, “Why?!”  To which poor Bud has to re-state what he already said about introducing an amendment.  So tedious.

Billy is the only one who votes against the $100 million bond authority bill. No explanation, not even sure he knows why anymore, just no.

The discussion concerning the Farm Distilleries and Tasting Room bill was interesting. Lots of amendments made and some really good discussion from the 5 that appear to understand what their job entails. The vote for the 1st amendment to this bill is the most interesting we’ve seen by far:

Donald-Nay

Chemlik-Yay

Keegan-Ayre-Nay

Fitzwater Yay

Delauter-No

Shreve-Yes

Otis-Yay

So, as we said, interesting.

New bill with all of it’s amendments will have to go back to public hearing.

There’s a break until 7:00 to discuss Tony’s bill concerning events on farms. Not many people were for this, and there were quite a few against. It looks as though there’s going to have to be a lot of changes in order for this to garner public support. We cannot imagine living peacefully out in the country and then having our neighbor rent their land out for weddings every weekend during the warm months. It could be an intolerable living situation.

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This we do have to say, and Council Members Donald and Fitzwater touched on this during their comments, kudos for Tony for trying to solve a problem. This is how a legislative body is supposed to work.

Chemlik and Delauter pass on their comments and how we wish Shreve did as well. His contribution to the discussion is that we need to define what a farm is and go out and get our feet dirty. No other legislation should be introduced until they define exactly what a farm is. Can you just imagine that discussion people? Everyone else had nice things to say and how sorry we are that those good points are often lost due to the noise of the absurd.

Tonight the County Council and BOE are having a joint meeting. Check out the agenda here. 

Shrelauter and the Sheriff were wrong? Volume: Elevenbillionity: Human Trafficking edition!

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More importantly you have annoyed us!

In this month’s edition of Baltimore Magazine there is a very interesting and horrifying article about the human trafficking problem in Maryland. Did y’all know that Maryland ranks fourth in the nation when it comes to human trafficking victims!?!? Also, this article points out that most human trafficking victims are: 1. U.S. Citizens and 2. Under the age of 17. The only failing of this article is that it left Frederick County off the list of Maryland counties that have formed a Human Trafficking Task Force.

We feel the need, at this point, to take a trip down memory lane to revisit the process that created this task force. First, kudos to Jessica Fitzwater for spearheading its creation and to Frederick Police Chief Hargis for recognizing the need for county services to be coordinated to help these victims.

What’s the opposite of kudos? Condemnation? Dishonor? Disregard? Because that is what Billy Shreve, Kirby Delauter and Sheriff Jenkins all deserve for being against this. Let’s first go back to our June 29, 2016 post when Billy said this about the task force:

“Billy then says that there are lots of groups both for and against this issue, at which point we have to feel so grateful to Jerry Donald for saying (in the appropriate appalled voice) what we were shouting at our screens, “THERE ARE GROUPS THAT ARE FOR HUMAN TRAFFICKING?!?!?!?!?!” To which Billy mutters, “Well yah…depending on how you define human trafficking…” Good grief. The Confederacy lost, right? That passes 5-2 and we know you know which marionettes didn’t vote for that, right?”

Yes, you read that correctly, Billy said there are groups in favor of human trafficking. So, both he and Kirby voted AGAINST the creation of this task force. All this happened not too long after their buddy, Blaine, was arrested after using backpage.com to find his “masseuse” ( a website idenifited by the Baltimore Magazine article as being the Craigslist of human traffickers).

Let us not forget that Chief Hargis’ polar opposite, the High Sheriff, also spoke out against the creation of this task force. According to the FNP article covering this meeting Jenkins was quoted as follows:

“I’m always leery when the local government gets involved in something that really is not a local government issue. This is a national, regional issue and law enforcement at all levels are working on it. There are already state task forces, federal task forces,” Jenkins said.

He said his main concern is that he doesn’t want the task force’s work to veer into areas already being addressed.

“I don’t want to see it become a recommendation or a mandate for law enforcement to do certain things or [for the task force to] make recommendations that are unrealistic,” he said.

So, if human trafficking occurs in Frederick County, which it most certainly does, is it not a local issue?  So very confused as to why the Frederick City Police recognize the need for such a task force but our county sheriff does not!

 

If you missed the June meeting on this, it is worth watching, because you would hear all of the heart wrenching arguments for why this is necessary. You will also get to see good law enforcement at work when the Frederick Police department explains how they need additional resources to help people that they suspect are victims of human trafficking. Also, two of your Lady Yokels attended a lecture at FCC last year given by an actual human trafficking victim, please read our reaction to that here. Let us all remember, come next year’s election, what these guys stood for. Rumors are swirling that Billy has his eye on the Maryland Senate and Kirby on the County Executive office. Their voting record and words more than speak for themselves.

Procrastination update: Frederick County Council 3/21/2017

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Sorry y’all. We are tiring of same ol same ol. It was really hard to get back to this and give it our attention. However, a bright spot occurred during the discussion of the Bill regarding Farm Distilleries and Tasting Rooms. This process seemed to be a model of good governance–citizens and representative legislators coming together to get things done. It showed our community in a charming light. Robert Ramsburg, President of the Frederick County Farm Bureau, even mused that this bill may come with the blessing of Jesus, who turned water into wine at a wedding venue. One of our Junior Yokels was intrigued by the discussion, and it proved a wonderful teachable moment. These people want music and Jerry’s constituents want peace and quiet and they will work on amendment to try and resolve this. This would also be a useful primer for some U.S. Congresspersons regarding how compromise and efficacy are intended to be a part of the gig.

Of course, there was plenty to find fault at other points. Most especially Council Member Comments continues to be A Festivus Celebration: Airing of Kirby Delauter’s Many and Unvaried Grievances. This is why we had such a hard time returning to torture ourselves: if we wanted to listen to someone rant and rave tirelessly about the same stupid crap, we would call our own Drunk Uncles during the late evening hours. You sit, hold the phone to your ear while patiently waiting for the end of the bellyaching over a litany of things that don’t entirely make sense, but everyone knows contradictory evidence is futile in these circumstances. You just ride it out.

Most of the council members regularly reflect on positive things in our community. Tweedledumb and Tweedledumber rarely mention anything that would make you think they have any pride in this county. It’s truly astonishing that this is a regular feature of these events.

Billy was worse than Kirby this week, as he is a flagrant asshole (although mercifully brief). He asks without a hint of irony, “Why do we hate solar?” This, understandably, was noted by both M.C. and Jessica, as they have authored a bill, scrapped it, and started again with a new bill. This is the one they are currently in the process of trying to work through to expand the solar industry in Frederick. It’s the weirdest hatred of solar power in history.

Worse, though, after Kirby’s regular rehash of the teachers voting on the budget that funds the BOE, Jerry explained that he is earning less than he did before joining the Council and has the W2s to prove it. Riding on this, Billy tried to question the validity of this statement because Jerry gets paid for the part time work of Council Member. Shut up, Billy. Just stop. The council salary has nothin’ to do with the teaching position. He took on the additional work of council person to do it. Furthermore, he does the things in the job description of councilperson, and should be compensated appropriately. This still does not discount the possibility that he is in sum making less, or maybe just making less at FCPS (where he bowed out of the new salary scale to be sure no conflict of interest could be found–not that it will stop the rambling about one), but who cares. It’s irrelevant. Shut up. Really.

Jerry addressed the theatrics involved in all of this, noting that the same person who trots out a ridiculous fantasy budget each year and expects to be praised for it, actually voted against Tony Chmelik’s proposed charter amendment that would have allowed his suggested changes to the budget to be useful.

Also picking up on this theatrical flair, Jessica seized upon the fact that Billy claims a simple text amendment would solve the issues Kirby has regarding the mulch business. This is the issue that was central to this weeks extensive griping. Jessica noted that she would hope we could expect some focus on problem solving in lieu of complaining. She also suggested that if a simple text amendment were all that is required, perhaps one of the concerned Councilpersons might solve the problem by drafting a simple text amendment. Wouldn’t that be a Festivus Miracle for the ages? Hmmmmmm. She managed to so without sarcasm, which frankly makes her a freaking superhero. We would also like to see our Councildolts make a doody or get off the pot. We will never run for office, because we would probably word it that way, but harsher.

Happy to sad in less than 60 minutes -Your Yokel breakdown of the second half of last night’s meeting.

fclocalyokel1 Comment

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The first part of our reconvened meeting is beautiful. The ever diplomatic and articulate Rick Harcum explains the bill that is up for a public hearing this evening. You see folks, back in 2010 the BOCC re-allocated the Recordation tax fees from agricultural preservation, parks and school management and put it into the General Fund. At that time, they added a Sunset Provision that said this would all end in five years time. Mr. Harcum praised this act as one was necessary in lean financial times, and as a result of having a Sunset Provision, also recognized that times wouldn’t always be tough.

Fast forward to 2014, the BOCC amended this bill to deter funds from the nursing home to the General Fund and according to the county attorney, wiped clean everything in the 2010 bill,including the Sunset Provision. This proposed bill will re-allocate those funds back into agricultural preservation, parks and the schools. Jerry later remarks in his council member comments, that he believes that all this was done so the BOCC could say they achieved the constant yield. The people who came to speak were in favor of re-allocating the money back. The only naysayer was Tony. He implied that Mr. Harcum was being dishonest in his characterization of these funds as since they were placed in the General Fund they could be allocated to parks, agricultural preservation, and schools if the County Executive so wished. Mr. Harcum then replied that puts them in competition with everything else in the budget.To which Tony still says is misleading. I think we all know that when money is specifically mandated for a purpose in the budget then we recognize as a community, how important that purpose is to us. But kudos Tony for trying to muddy an issue that was crystal clear.

Now it’s time for the sad time of the meeting…council member comments.

Lots of head shaking from Kirby tonight. It’s his Night O’ Apologies! He wants us all to recognize how sad it is to be in business in Frederick County. He tells the sad tale of a business owner in New Market,  salt of the Earth people, who after 27 years of selling mulch and top soil are having their lives ruined by the county. Just like the wedding venues and Mr. Natelli. RUINED. He also laments the fact that for the past 7 months or so the county hasn’t been able to find someone to fill the empty Emergency Management Position. “Everyday”, says Kirby, “things get worse and worse around here.”

Billy claims that there are billboards throughout Coal Country PA that state: “Thank you Frederick County for voting against Solar!”. We think this is probably a huge lie, but hey snap a pic Billy so we can see the evidence. We’ll admit it if we are wrong! If it is true, then the billboard owners have been misled as the solar bill has been tabled pending amendments. Billy also laments the sad state of affairs that business owners have to put up with in this county. He’s also sure that Bud is corrupt because he won’t fall into any of Billy’s question traps.

Jessica,after saying some nice things about the Girl Scouts and county staff, lists all the ways Frederick County has been friendly to business. Namely:

  1. The AstraZeneca deal
  2. Tax credit for manufacturers
  3. Small business tax credit

She also reminds Billy that we have not voted against solar power. Which is a curious thing for him to be confused about.

M.C. has to spend her time refuting the bookends. Says she would rather find the right person to fill the Emergency Management Services position then to just hire the first person off the street.  And that New Market business that Kirby is claiming the county has ruined?  Well, a neighbor of theirs filed a complaint with the county since they have been  operating outside of proper zoning. And when the county receives a complaint, they have to investigate and uphold county law. M.C. says that the county is looking for ways to work with the business. So perhaps things aren’t as dire as Mr. Negative would lead us to believe.  She also reminds us to lock our cars, as the police say most car thefts are a result of unlocked vehicles.

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A Shrelauter paradise!

M.C. ends her comments reminding the naysayers to respect their fellow council members. She gently tells them they we all spend a lot of time working on these issues and to disparage people just because they come to a different conclusion just isn’t right. While we agree with you M.C., we don’t see that happening from that bunch any time in the near future.