We were all busy last night, because at this time of year all moms are required to be in seven places at once. The FNP has good information about the important stuff that happened last night (and if you can’t read that because you aren’t subscribing to the paper, read this). We will just round things out with the gossip column details.
Tony Chmelik ducked out because he has relatives in town in celebration of his son’s wedding. Congratulations to the Chemliks and best wishes to the young couple. Lucky of Councilman Chmelik to have a solid reason to bounce, because the archives say that meeting is six hours long…and so we are just gonna trust the real news this week.
#KirbyDelauter gave kudos to Billy for his wood recycling bill, which is very important grown up legislating that he is finally getting around to on behalf of his constituents.
Look who’s gotten their boobies!
He also talked about illegal dumping and how that happens when fees are too high, which is possibly true (or also because some fools are lazy). Riddle me this, dingdong. How would we pay for it without “too high” fees? Spoiler alert: the answer is TAXES. And you hate those, so…illegal dumping it is?
Jerry Donald said nice things about Middletown’s 250th anniversary and what is being done in recognition of that, and also working together with the town for economic development in downtown Brunswick. He explained that his earlier vote against the water and sewer decision was based upon the timing falling during what we will call the “lame duck” period. He then reiterated his support for the bill that would limit this type of decision making.
Billy Trumpeter Shreve had an argument against that. Something like the other folks who did the decidering were also elected representatives, but as an UberTrumpet he is consistently a hypocrite, and Gorsuch/Garland–months and months ahead of the lame duck stage and still we had to wait for our new moronic overlords–so la di da. And now we’re dancing. Then he attacked Bud and the functioning of the council and how nobody gets to speak anymore, which seems weird since they added those extra public comments segments. The ones that people don’t so much seem to be coming to–although we certainly do not object to the opportunity not to have to listen to them until 0 Dark Thirty before you get your three minutes. And we think that was at Billy’s behest, so don’t say we never have anything positive to say about him! The numerous aggrieved people he described were upset about water runoff, which coming from a hater of fees destined to mitigate water runoff issues also seems like it should be filed in the “none of Shrelauter’s concern” box. Trumpeter Syndrome strikes again.
Jessica Fitzwater had words of congratulations for graduates of all stripes: high school seniors and fire and rescue recruits alike. She also highlighted that the Frederick region was recently named 8th in a list of the top 10 most vibrant arts communities in America. She also remarked upon celebrating the giving spirit of Frederick County with the United Way last week. It’s interesting to note how differently these people speak about the communities they live in. The boosters versus the haters.
M.C. Keegan-Ayer talked about numerous cool things happening (booster!). Teddy Bear Picnic at Everedy Square and Shab Row, FCC Kids on Campus, Barnstomers Tour (tickets available at the Visitor’s Center on East St.), Alive at Five, and family movie nights on Caroll Creek. Worth a Google for details on any of those.
And finally Bud explained that Billy’s real problem is that he still doesn’t know that there is a County Executive and he is not an administrator any more but a legislator, and the whole system has changed. He was very polite and patient about it, which is simply amazing, since it is only the eleventybillionth time this has come up since the charter government was formed.
If you want to hear about the three hearings last night, read this report in the FNP. We just don’t have the time to sit through all that public testimony. We won’t deprive you, however, of the council member comments!
We first had to backtrack to public comment. We heard that Friend of the Yokel, Steve McKay, caused Billy to have a hissy fit. And oh what a sight that was! Billy thought that Steve was breaking the civility code because he mentioned someone else who had also given public comment. Billy demands an opinion from legal council. While we wait, we couldn’t help but think: “Doesn’t the civility code only apply to the council council?” That language was pretty specific if we remember it correctly. And YEP! Legal says it only applies to the council! Talk away Steve!
Tony wasn’t going to talk. And how we wish he hadn’t. Rambles on about some client of his in Carroll County that is trying to subdivide a property and all the steps they have to go through, in Carroll County, to do that. And why can’t we just de-regulate everything and use cheap materials?! In case you didn’t know where this was leading, it is definitely why we don’t have affordable housing in Frederick County.
Kirby, sweet cracker in a basket, Kirby. After he agrees with Tony and spews out some arcane Reagan quote, we are dead horsing his school lease back idea. Then he bores the snot out of everyone ranting about lawn mowers and throwing out phrases such as:
“These are the facts!”
“Just putting the numbers out there!”
“Do the math!”
Then, there’s talk of privatizing everything and didn’t they try that already?! Good gracious!
Our favorite “Kirby Quote” comes when he tries to make an analogy between sausage and how he has to be the big meanie that says no to all the budget stuff:
“People like to eat sausage, but don’t like to see how it’s made!”
He really is a treasure! What are we going to do without him come 2018?
Jerry has some nice things to say and then mysteriously, our feed keeps skipping back to the beginning of the meeting . Kind of like the recording is rejecting a certain someone:
We swear this is 100% true! We couldn’t listen to the beginning of what he said because it the recording kept skipping back to the beginning!!! LOL!
Billy thinks that people should take care of their pets ANY WAY that they want!! Guess he’s never heard of animal cruelty. We also need more manufactured housing. He wants to know if we’ve ever heard of some guy named Henry Ford and his manufacturing.
Jessica thanks everyone who came out and Councilwoman Keegan-Ayre for all of her hard work on the solar panel bill.
M.C. reminds us to lock our cars, as 90% of vehicle theft happens to those of us who don’t! Then she has to address some nonsense that was said by Billy on the radio last week.
We know exactly of what she speaks. Some guy who pretends to be a Norse god and has a low rated AM radio show. Random super hero fetish guy was joined last week by not only Billy, but some kid who has been going around Facebook pretending that he’s both a liberal and conservative! Sometimes even arguing between his fake and real profiles for all to see!! They should actually thank us for listening, a mistake we will not be making again, no matter who the guest may be, since the three of us probably increased his listener-ship by 50%! It was that bad people, so bad that we have to equate it with Blaine’s mess of a program that used to run on WFMD. Such a bunch of hyperbolic nonsense! We cannot abide a program that will trot Billy out as though he’s some kind of serious legislator. Jessica and M.C. were called anti-environmentalists because they took their time with the solar bill. They, cruelly, called Bud a Wal-Mart greeter while questioning his mental abilities. The Marvel Comics wanna be even promised to show up at a county council meeting wearing a Wal-Mart vest.
The accusation that M.C. was specifically addressing was the one that Billy made stating that “certain” members of the council were receiving texts from Jan (who watches the live feed of the council meetings in some secret compartment of Winchester Hall) to vote yay or nay on certain parts of the agenda. One of the mental giants on this show then gets the idea to P.I.A. the cell phone texts of the council members (sans Billy, Tony and Kirby of course!), which CANNOT be done because the county doesn’t store the private text messages of the council members!
Just ludicrous!
M.C. explains that the last two times she used her phone during the meetings was due to family emergencies. She assures us (not that the sane among us needed reassurance) that there isn’t any espionage afoot!
Bud is going to allow Kirby to put forth his school leaseback idea…again.
Next week, the budget will be voted on!!! Can’t wait to see what hi jinks are in store for us all!
Besides a couple of utterances of yes, Kirby was as quiet as a dormouse last night. We know we should rejoice that no more dead horses were beaten, but we can’t help but feel that it may just be the quiet before the storm.
You can guess who wasn’t quiet tonight. You know what Billy’s behavior reminds us of? We’ve all come into contact with that person , be it young or old, who is confused about what is going on around them. And instead of asking questions or perhaps due to a serious mental issue, they lash out at everyone else like they are the idiot. THAT! Case in point, when Bud turns the meeting over to M.C. to run so he can introduce an amendment, Billy screams, “Why?!” To which poor Bud has to re-state what he already said about introducing an amendment. So tedious.
Billy is the only one who votes against the $100 million bond authority bill. No explanation, not even sure he knows why anymore, just no.
The discussion concerning the Farm Distilleries and Tasting Room bill was interesting. Lots of amendments made and some really good discussion from the 5 that appear to understand what their job entails. The vote for the 1st amendment to this bill is the most interesting we’ve seen by far:
Donald-Nay
Chemlik-Yay
Keegan-Ayre-Nay
Fitzwater Yay
Delauter-No
Shreve-Yes
Otis-Yay
So, as we said, interesting.
New bill with all of it’s amendments will have to go back to public hearing.
There’s a break until 7:00 to discuss Tony’s bill concerning events on farms. Not many people were for this, and there were quite a few against. It looks as though there’s going to have to be a lot of changes in order for this to garner public support. We cannot imagine living peacefully out in the country and then having our neighbor rent their land out for weddings every weekend during the warm months. It could be an intolerable living situation.
This we do have to say, and Council Members Donald and Fitzwater touched on this during their comments, kudos for Tony for trying to solve a problem. This is how a legislative body is supposed to work.
Chemlik and Delauter pass on their comments and how we wish Shreve did as well. His contribution to the discussion is that we need to define what a farm is and go out and get our feet dirty. No other legislation should be introduced until they define exactly what a farm is. Can you just imagine that discussion people? Everyone else had nice things to say and how sorry we are that those good points are often lost due to the noise of the absurd.
Tonight the County Council and BOE are having a joint meeting. Check out the agenda here.
The first part of our reconvened meeting is beautiful. The ever diplomatic and articulate Rick Harcum explains the bill that is up for a public hearing this evening. You see folks, back in 2010 the BOCC re-allocated the Recordation tax fees from agricultural preservation, parks and school management and put it into the General Fund. At that time, they added a Sunset Provision that said this would all end in five years time. Mr. Harcum praised this act as one was necessary in lean financial times, and as a result of having a Sunset Provision, also recognized that times wouldn’t always be tough.
Fast forward to 2014, the BOCC amended this bill to deter funds from the nursing home to the General Fund and according to the county attorney, wiped clean everything in the 2010 bill,including the Sunset Provision. This proposed bill will re-allocate those funds back into agricultural preservation, parks and the schools. Jerry later remarks in his council member comments, that he believes that all this was done so the BOCC could say they achieved the constant yield. The people who came to speak were in favor of re-allocating the money back. The only naysayer was Tony. He implied that Mr. Harcum was being dishonest in his characterization of these funds as since they were placed in the General Fund they could be allocated to parks, agricultural preservation, and schools if the County Executive so wished. Mr. Harcum then replied that puts them in competition with everything else in the budget.To which Tony still says is misleading. I think we all know that when money is specifically mandated for a purpose in the budget then we recognize as a community, how important that purpose is to us. But kudos Tony for trying to muddy an issue that was crystal clear.
Now it’s time for the sad time of the meeting…council member comments.
Lots of head shaking from Kirby tonight. It’s his Night O’ Apologies! He wants us all to recognize how sad it is to be in business in Frederick County. He tells the sad tale of a business owner in New Market, salt of the Earth people, who after 27 years of selling mulch and top soil are having their lives ruined by the county. Just like the wedding venues and Mr. Natelli. RUINED. He also laments the fact that for the past 7 months or so the county hasn’t been able to find someone to fill the empty Emergency Management Position. “Everyday”, says Kirby, “things get worse and worse around here.”
Billy claims that there are billboards throughout Coal Country PA that state: “Thank you Frederick County for voting against Solar!”. We think this is probably a huge lie, but hey snap a pic Billy so we can see the evidence. We’ll admit it if we are wrong! If it is true, then the billboard owners have been misled as the solar bill has been tabled pending amendments. Billy also laments the sad state of affairs that business owners have to put up with in this county. He’s also sure that Bud is corrupt because he won’t fall into any of Billy’s question traps.
Jessica,after saying some nice things about the Girl Scouts and county staff, lists all the ways Frederick County has been friendly to business. Namely:
The AstraZeneca deal
Tax credit for manufacturers
Small business tax credit
She also reminds Billy that we have not voted against solar power. Which is a curious thing for him to be confused about.
M.C. has to spend her time refuting the bookends. Says she would rather find the right person to fill the Emergency Management Services position then to just hire the first person off the street. And that New Market business that Kirby is claiming the county has ruined? Well, a neighbor of theirs filed a complaint with the county since they have been operating outside of proper zoning. And when the county receives a complaint, they have to investigate and uphold county law. M.C. says that the county is looking for ways to work with the business. So perhaps things aren’t as dire as Mr. Negative would lead us to believe. She also reminds us to lock our cars, as the police say most car thefts are a result of unlocked vehicles.
A Shrelauter paradise!
M.C. ends her comments reminding the naysayers to respect their fellow council members. She gently tells them they we all spend a lot of time working on these issues and to disparage people just because they come to a different conclusion just isn’t right. While we agree with you M.C., we don’t see that happening from that bunch any time in the near future.
Bud hopes it will be a productive year. We feel pessimistic. Because of the bookends on the dias (who were oddly quiet, until uncorked at the end).
Normal things happened like Billy voted against the agenda and budget transfers. Aren’t tools supposed to be useful?
Friend of Local Yokel, Patrick Schempp, spoke on several issues and seems to be far more consequential to the proper running of the county than Billy Shreve. Just sayin’.
There was a riveting water and sewer hearing and W4S4 changing to W3S3, or some such.
A proposed small business development real estate tax credit sounded intriguing. This would be for businesses with between 5 and 50 employees on purchase of or expansion of at least 2500 square feet. The tax credit would start at 40% and decrease according to a schedule over time. And they would have to pay 150% of federal minimum wage to their employees, which sounds nice, but still wouldn’t really get you much in the way of livability in urbane Fredneck. However, we are not those sort of philosophers who think, “If you cannot fix everything, why bother doing anything.” (cough…climate change illogic…cough). The program would expire in 2026, although Tony Chmelik seemed inclined to have it continue in perpetuity, because who needs taxes anyway, right?
For the second edition of public commenting a young man (we love to see our youngsters at county meetings) wants to have recycling bins available at summer lunch program centers. Tony suggests they go to another meeting, in a strange attempt to pass the buck. Thankfully M.C. steps in taking their names and promising to put them in touch with the appropriate person. Thank you M.C.!
Kirby talked for half the meeting it seemed like and to start there was a part where he seemed gracious and as though he spoke with staff he may have a good rapport with, and then spoke knowledgeably about septic system science. In the light of day it seems less mysterious that a person owning and operating a digging business hemmed and hawed about septic tanks and doesn’t just stomp his foot about <<gasp>> regulations. Not to say he made no sense, but still. It’s difficult for us to say he made sense, if you know what we mean.
Oh and who could forget the spin machine we were stuck in that has this story in the newspaper, produced by a newspaper reporter, who reported on the relative salaries of county officials here and elsewhere. This has now become some new government boondoggle talking point, even though it has zilch to do with anyone in the government having said or done anything, and was apparently produced for informational purposes such as local news. It never has to make sense to become a crisis. Special teaflakes strike again.
Many assumptions today re: salary survey story. The impetus for article is simple: It’s a new report and I pulled out interesting details.
Kirby has thankfully found an editorial section that is not biased! And he’s going to take up everyone’s time reading this editor’s accusations. Kirby is “not sure what’s going on here” and “hope(s) these accusations are unfounded”. However, he’s not going to let whether or not any of this is true stand in his way! No siree bob! What’s all the hullabaloo? Well, remember when M.C. said that she and Bud talked to the County Executive before legislation is introduced? Yeah that. Must be some sneakiness going on. Thank goodness we have some local heroes with no agenda against Jan, Bud or M.C. on it! We took a peaky poo at the Open Meetings Act and didn’t see anything that would warrant these allegations. However, tis very long and written in legalese so we will have to see what the attorney says. Sounds like the County Council has a few time sucking, tax wasting PIAers on their hands as well.
There was more, but I give up, which is awful, because some smart people got shortchanged. If Billy said anything exciting, nobody even knows. You will have to wait for another Local Yokel to let you know.
Oh, but wait! Almost forgot! Jerry Donald likes meeting constituents and is going on a tour, like the rock star that he is.
An oldie, but a goodie.
M.C. apologizes for not answering Kirby’s hero editor and promises to do so. Also vows to continue talking to people in the county government in order to do her job. The county attorney will be issuing an opinion soon on whether or not anything was untoward. We can already predict the answer.
This morning’s Political News is chock full of good info. First of all, over the weekend, your Lady Yokels were alerted to the fact that Delegate Kathy Afzali shut the doors during the beginning part of the Delegation’s public hearing. When County Executive Gardner arrived at Winchester Hall and saw about 50 people outside the closed doors, she let them in. By that time, it appears, the part of the meeting Delegate Afzali didn’t want out in the open was over. What was the secret part of the meeting about you ask? It was to select a Chairperson and Vice Chairperson for the Frederick County Delegation. Typically, this is a Republican and a Democrat and one delegate and one senator. This time, however, two Republican delegates were chosen. The paper quoted Delegate Karen Lewis Young’s reaction:
“I think the public should have seen what transpired before that meeting. Because that election was determined in advance,” Lewis Young said. “And there were several arguments that the minority brought forward that should have been public.”
Those arguments included an appeal that the delegation’s leadership has a tradition of being bipartisan (one Democrat, one Republican) and bicameral (one senator, one delegate), neither of which will continue for the 2017 session.
Delegate Afzali says that if she gave the security guard the impression that the public was to be locked out it was just a “misunderstanding.”
Secondly, the Political Notes alerts us to what we knew all along. Billy’s sexual harassment claim was found to be “without merit.” Just like him!!!
This People’s Court is NOT impressed Billy!
Seriously Billy, you need to turn over a new leaf in 2017. Find something constructive to do on the council. Stop being rude,stop grandstanding, start reading and do the job you were elected to do! Now that you won’t be distracted by the election or the central committee you have lots of time to improve yourself! The citizens of Frederick County deserve better.
We previously postedwho will be the president and vice president of the county council for the next two years. In case you missed it, Bud will remain president and M.C. will keep her position as vice president. Now, we will we recount the severe pain that it took to get us to this result.
When nominations were first called we had this slate:
M.C. nominates Bud
Tony nominates M.C.
Kirby nominates Billy
If only these three names could have just gone to a vote. Maybe then a little piece of our faith in humankind would still be intact. But the world is a topsy turvy place and things are often out of control. So in that spirit; Enter Tony stage right!
Tony wants M.C. to explain her nomination of Bud. She replies that while she appreciates Tony’s nomination, issues in her personal life would keep her from performing the job in the manner she believes it should be performed. Tony, oh so sensitively, lets her know that since she was elected she should be able to give the time. He presses her to justify her nomination which results in her stating that Bud has the patience, tenacity and skills necessary for this job. Well, this was all a big set up for some “prepared” remarks that Tony has about Bud.
We wish we had some warning beforehand!
Tony recites a list of all his grievances with the way the council works and Bud himself. He accuses the others on the council of having back door meetings with the County Executive. But what’s the prob guys, Tony also said he doesn’t mean any disrespect. He’ll just accuse away and then say please don’t take that the wrong way. So it’s all good right?
Jessica alerts us to the fact that all these “back door ” meetings have the Chief of Staff present whom kindly takes notes that everyone can read. Then Shreve chimes in. Whines about Bud telling him to get on his knees. States that if this kind of language is appropriate for our children to see then he is going to start (!) using it on the dais. And we would be remiss if we didn’t point out that Billy was Trump’s #1 fan! So it’s clear that saying terrible things does not bother Billy one little bit. We are then informed that because of everything Bud has done Trump won! There is an absolute direct correlation between these two things! Billy’s just spewing them facts!
Kirby also wants us to know that no one in the leadership called or emailed him except when they threatened his business. Wonder why that could be? Tis truly baffling. Also, shouts out one of his many trademark phrases: “We are just a rubber stamp to the County Executive!”
M.C. addresses this rubber stamp claim quite succinctly. She explains to Kirby that the council pushes back on the County Executive plenty. When meetings take place concerning bills to be introduced they compromise and collaborate. Therefore, by the time the bill reaches the council many of the issues have already been hashed out. But what’s that worth if you don’t get to do it publicly? How’s an idiot to grandstand ?
Anyhoo, votes are cast and Bud is the winner. Bud then nominates M.C. for VP and Kirby nominates Tony and thankfully M.C. emerges the winner with no more drama. We must apologize for our drinking game this evening. For if you followed it you probably were not conscious for the remainder of the meeting.
Next up is council member comments. But before we get there, we feel the need to share what the editorial page of the newspaper is for. It is not reporting in the sense that one needs to be objective. It is the OPINION page of the newspaper. The place where readers and the editorial board can post their OPINIONS. In case that isn’t clear here’s an article from How Stuff Works that may explain it better than we can. The reason we need to clear that up is that three of our council members are truly confused about the function of the Editorial Page.
Tony is flabbergasted that the FNP would lump him in with Shrelauter. He takes special exception over an online comment posted by a READER of the paper:
“Chmelik is just as bad as Shreve and Delauter. He is with them plotting and planning in secret with Blaine Young behind the scenes on how best to obstruct any progress at all.”
Now Tony wants to the FNP to investigate before they print stuff like this! Hear that FNP ?You have now been tasked with the responsibility to investigate all online comments. Good luck! Tony also wants to know how the FNP would know that he meets in secret with the fellas. This is then followed by some nervous laughter because he probably just realized he invited a Gary Hartlike challenge to the press.
Kirby starts normal style. Talks about a road meeting he attended, offers condolences to the loved ones of someone he knew, but it’s not to last. There’s some talk in the county about taking some easements around the Monocacy River in order to clean the river up. You know the dreaded water buffers. About 300 homeowners will be affected in Frederick and Carroll counties. Now mind you, this is only a recommendation. No legislation has been proposed, no hearings held, just a group of people thinking of solutions to the river’s pollution. Well, its enough for Kirby to shout out:
“Environmentalism is the new Socialism”
Tell him Harry!
Then to prove that Bud’s comment about constituency services is all wrong,Kirby is going to read on and on and on and on and on and on from a list that the council uses to record when a citizen calls in, what the problem is and how that problem was addressed. Curiously, he focuses on Jerry’s calls with one of Bud’s thrown in. He wants to know why Jerry has special privileges (more on that soon) that he doesn’t seem to have. Assures us that he’s going to try his best for the next two years to tell us all what is correct!
Jerry let’s us know the source of his magical powers that allow him to get information from county staff. He simply uses the words please and thank you.
That’s P-L-E-A-S-E and T-H-A-N-K_Y-O-U Kirby!
It really is astounding how much you can get done when you are nice to people.
Billy is threatening to actually write legislation to establish a People’s Court. But does remind us that it will take quite some time before such magical legislation appears. He also goes off on the Editorial Board of the FNP. Shreve claims that he had a meeting with the new Editorial Editor (because you know what a big meanie Cliff Cumber was to him) and he was assured that he would be treated fairly. (Man, to be a fly on the wall during that meeting!) And now the new meanie Editor is still saying horrible things too! Why does the conspiracy to point out all the stupid things that Billy does continue?
Jessica talks about hosting some Boy Scouts at Winchester Hall (and we saw some pics, curiously enough no political signs were involved). She also brings up the list Kirby was reading off of. You know the one that PROVED that Jerry got all this special treatment. Well lo and behold guess who else’s name is on said list? That’s right, Old Hashtag himself! With his very own problems and resolutions. Good gravy this guy!
M.C. reminds “someone” that you get more flies with honey than vinegar. And also , that sometimes it’s better to bite your tongue and not say anything. Wink, nudge Billy.
Bud clears up his comment about the council not being a constituency service. He explains that when he worked in Congress they had all of the government organizations open to them in order to help people resolve issues. However, the way the charter is written, all citizen concerns need to go through the County Executive’s office. The council can of course hear the complaints, but aside of writing legislation to fix grievances, it is the charter mandated responsibility of the County Executive to handle constituent problems.
Now back to the rubber stamp comment that Kirby made earlier. Bud has some numbers about all that. In 2015, 11 bills were passed 9 of which passed with a super majority. Only 2 were passed with the 4-3 breakdown. So far this year, 14 bills were passed with 11 passing with a super majority and only 3 with the 4-3 breakdown that Kirby so laments. But don’t let numbers get in the way of your complaining.
Next meeting is Tuesday, December 13th. Same bat time, same bat channel.
If you had a chance to see last Sunday’s paper, you would have noticed a front page story and an editorial about the dysfunction Kirby and Billy cause on our beloved county council. The big story this evening is the election of a county council president and vice president. No one seems to know which way the wind is blowing on this one, so your Lady Yokels are very, very nervous. Not because Kirby and/or Billy could obtain either one of those positions, but because of the potential for some flinging o’ the insults. Grab your agenda and let’s start from the beginning.
If there is any drama during the public comments, budget transfers, approval of minutes or confirmation of the County Executive appointment, take really big gulps of your Failure cocktail.
Now for the drama of the evening. Straight from the Charter here are the steps necessary to vote for the president and vice president:
We are nervous too Pancakes!
Do you see why your Lady Yokels are nervous?! There is no way in Hades’ cold underworld that this is going to go well. Every single time one of the three potential trouble makers (that’s right we said three!) cause some drama guzzle down your Jack Frost. Things are about to get super icy in Winchester Hall!
Believe it or not they are going to try and do some more work after this! There’s the first reading of a bill to give small businesses a real property tax credit. Now, Billy and Kirby commonly lament the plight of the small business owner. But alas, a Democrat has introduced it so there’s no way they can support it now! If any objections are made, and none should be made during a first reading, slam back a Fall of Rome.
Motion to go into closed session will be voted against by the resident fool. And onto public comment we go.
If you are still looking for that perfect gift for your Local Yokel reader, visit our store on Zazzle!
We know that many of you are desperate for a break from politics, and more sympathetic we could not be. But remember, in two short years there will be another county council election. We need to keep paying attention and recording the actions of those who shall not lead ever again! So, as always, we will try to make watching a little more fun for you! Ready up your handy agenda, tune into Frederick’s very own reality station and watch away!
If anyone chooses to take advantage of the pre-meeting public comment, have yourself a Tequila Mockingbird.
All sorts of budget transfers coming down the line. We usually hear some grumbling when the library is on the agenda. If this should occur, mix up a strong Mark Twain, and be thankful the old man did not live to see this.
Oh dear Helena on the mountain, there’s an item to confirm members to the Ethics Commission!
Kind old monkey is much more optimistic than we are!
As we’ve written once or twice before, Kirby has a problem with the word ethics. It elicits in him an angry Pavlovian response that once released, is impossible to reign in. You many want to put yourself into a coma for this section of the evening. Having a nice Blackout or two may do the trick!
Next up is the First Reading on a Small Business Property Tax Credit. Sounds like something all should be in favor of. But whoopsie daisy, one of those pesky Democrats is the sponsor. So even though it’s something Shrelauter would, in all other universes, be in favor of we have a feeling there’s going to be some “problems”. If any are expressed slam back an Upside Down Martini.
Time to decide on the Clean Energy Program for Commerical Properties. But wait! Isn’t global warming just a huge scam? Isn’t this all liberal propaganda? If you hear any of that nonsense, mix up a gallon and a half of Hell on Earth.
Public hearing time on Water and Sewage Amendments. Any bellyaching will lead you to slamming back a Raw Sewage or two.
All that remains are public and council member comments and we have a BADDD feeling about his week. So grab a cup of your favorite herbal tea and try to stay calm!
In order to get to the reason as to why our gaskets have been blown to high heaven and beyond, we’ll quickly breeze through the beginning of the meeting.
Agenda-passed except for Deplorable Billy.
Public comment centered on anti-fracking in Frederick and Maryland and one gentleman who is upset about ADA violations with curbs in Urbana.
Budget adjustment- 1 abstainer. Minutes are approved unanimously as is the County Executive appointment to the Fire and Rescue Board.
Roger Wilson comes to present the legislative bills and position statements. Tony doesn’t like the part about fracking because he doesn’t know how Garrett, Alleghany and Washington counties feel about it. And Good Zeus on Mt. Olympus who cares? It is an undeniably destructive practice that has no business in our State. We really don’t give a good two cents what their elected boards think about it. His motion is not seconded. So the vote to send the priorities to our State legislators is passed 4-3.
The new Nuisance Ordinance is up for a final vote. High Sheriff is in the house again. Billy doesn’t want to vote until the Sheriff’s office rewrites their procedures for using the noise meters. Jenkins says they are in the process of doing so, which is good enough for everyone else. Passes 6-1. So it appears that Billy and the Sheriff have broken up!
So very terrible indeed.
Now this is the part of the evening we knew was going to go badly. However, predicting that things will go south and then actually watching them go south are two very different things indeed. The proposed task force on human trafficking will study how we can coordinate agencies so we, as a county, can better help vulnerable populations and prosecute traffickers. It will study how law enforcement, FMH, FCPS and other agencies can come together to to eradicate this problem within our borders. We saw some very brave women share their very personal and heartbreaking stories. We heard from people who run committees and agencies who gave examples of human trafficking in our county. We heard from the Frederick Chief of Police and his chief criminal investigator. Both of whom are in very much in favor of this task force. It’s looking as though everyone sees the value of studying this problem and then getting a plan in place so maybe we can eradicate it from our borders and maybe as an added bonus other local jurisdictions can see what we have done and apply it within their area. Then the Sheriff comes to the podium. He begins by saying that we will want to stone him for saying this but he is oh so skeptical of this task force. Homeland Security is taking care of the problem when necessary and there’s no need for y’all locals to get involved. While he thinks it’s a “great idea” he doesn’t know what the end result will be. So let’s not do anything people!!!! Kirby and Billy then chime in that they don’t know what the goal is (even though it is specifically laid out right here) and yeah what the Sheriff said! Billy goes on to say why can’t we have a representative from the State Human Trafficking commission come to talk to us first. And Jessica very patiently informs him that the representative talked right to his very face during the workshop they had on this issue!
Sorry Mr. Puffs, we are embarrassed by them as well.
So Tweedledeplorable and Tweedlemoredeplorable follow Tweedlemostdeplorable’s lead and they decide not to support the formation of this task force. So they basically stuck their middle fingers up at all the women who shared their stories about being trafficked. And you know why we study these issues you most deplorable of the deplorables? So we can make things better! If Homeland Security had such a handle on things and if the Sheriff’s office knew all they needed to know then why is this still happening? STOP BEING SO AWFUL ALL THE TIME!!!!
Passes 5-2 with Tony saying he has no problem with agencies figuring out a way to coordinate with one another. Yeah, tell that to the bookends up there with ya!
Phew! Break until 7:00.
Billy comes back complaining about the break being too long. And blah, blah, boooorrring!
Second hearing on establishing a program for Clean Energy for Commercial Properties. No speakers.
Our one public commenter leads to our council member comments. There is a gentleman who has been dealing with a neighbor for a number of years. This neighbor is allegedly not keeping up with his property and therefore his neighbors are frustrated. So, he has decided to come to the council to get some relief. You would think this would be a simple case of referring him to the appropriate department or directing him to some steps he needs to take, but oh rational human being you would be so very wrong indeed!
Kirby wants details about this homeowner’s issues. Most specifcally he wants details as to how the County Executive has failed this man so he can grandstand about it. And this poor man did not know what he was walking into. Bud tries to shut it down, because first of all it isn’t a council issue and second of all it’s obvious to anyone with half a brain that this is a witch hunt! So Kirby continues along this way for a little while until the gentleman is kindly directed to the oh so calm Chief of Staff whom we are sure will lead him down the correct path.
But old # isn’t done. He is going to drone on about some numbers he’s found in the Citizens and Montevue packet. He’s cherry picking like crazy and boring the hell out of everyone and their mother. When he’s finally done, Jerry steps up and makes us feel all warm and fuzzy.
After addressing the same gentleman about dilapidated properties and how he is trying to pass a bill to deal with them, he speaks of a certain council member and his Tentacle article. Kirby quickly pipes up, “That was me!” Jerry informs us all that said article had the numbers concerning the hotel TIF off by 44%. So Jerry asks why should we believe any numbers that come out of Councilman Delauter’s mouth. Why indeed?
The worst of the worst is up next. He’s complaining about his uncle’s property. And get this people, he thinks it’s a fine idea to establish a People’s Court before the council. He thinks it’s an appropriate venue for neighbors to be able to air their grievances. Shocking that Billy never learned the difference between Executive, Legislative and Judicial powers. Didn’t he ever catch an episode of Schoolhouse Rock?
Jessica thanks those who supported the human trafficking commission. She also tells Kirby that she agrees that he is not an accountant when it comes to his recitation of the nursing home numbers. And guess what, she and some other members of the council are going to the nursing homes tomorrow to talk with Aurora and see how things are going. Imagine that. She also wants to know why the outrage over the public commenter’s petition with 39 neighbor signatures but no similar reaction when the public came to them with a petition against fracking with over 1,000? Well, durh, how could they embarrass Jan with that? And get this, that petition with the 39 signatures was submitted in the summer of 2014. You know before the creation of the county council when both Billy and Kirby were on the BOCC. Where was the outrage then?
M.C. says she is going to keep her comments brief and we swear we heard Billy utter good. She laments the fact that some members of the council don’t know the function of a legislative body and really how dumb the People’s Court suggestion is. Twice during her comments Billy interupts and twice she needs to shut him down.
Really, it seems as though Jerry, Jessica, M.C. and Bud have it with with them. We suspect Tony is pulling back as well. Maybe we should ask for a bill for the five of them to get some extra hazard pay for having to deal with these two. Tis a dangerous job indeed.
frederick local yokel 