Politico ran a story yesterday that titillated our imaginations. Apparently the USDA is being staffed by a bunch of unqualified Trump campaign goobers, and we happen to know just such a character. We would gladly promote Billy Shreve to the federal level if it would save us from having to deal with him in Frederick county. His resume certainly seems like it offers more qualifications than “long haul trucker” or “country club cabana attendant,” if only because of his “carefully” considered positions on regulations and hot dog stands. Plus he worked at 7/11, so he at least has experience with the subset of foods that you can cook on a roller grill.

On another note, the most puzzling thing about this Deplorables for Trump covfefe is that half of Trump’s supporters were supposedly–according to the lady who coined the inelegant but accurate “Basket of Deplorables” phrase–good people who had been left behind in the modern economy and were desperate for change. You have to just love all these tools who stood up and said, “I ain’t gonna identify as one of them nice folks! I am a bona fide jerk/idiot per my own self-esteem! Here’s my sign! Put me in the basket!” Pretty sure those are all the qualifications you need for a plum job at the USDA. Git er done…or whatever the GOP fair tent vernacular is.