It’s Awards Season–and we have some in mind for the 2/5 County Council Meeting

Your locals bounced into the show late mid-Monocacy River Plan Presentation and it does sound like the early part of the meeting was worth listening to because there were some comments made with bipartisan concerns about things that were eliminated from the plan and we don’t have the low down on that. Our chief take away really is that it is a plan. It isn’t legislation, although it may be the basis for crafting legislation that uses the plan as a resource. If that’s the case, then you get to go through the whole process that is normal when you have an elected public official you have to talk to. Part of the plan is specifically that eminent domain should not be used, so the entire land grabbing narrative is silly. Like so many things. And we will have to return to how representative democracy works later when we had to consume the entire bottle of Barefoot Bubbly.

They ticked through the public hearing portion of the bills the council is considering rather quickly, after a brief interlude of disco video game psychedelic electronica music. Who picks that stuff?

Then there was a discussion about bills for the council to offer support to or withhold sending support to for the state delegation, and holy moly. It would be appropriate to hit the sauce just so that we can address this in writing. We are going to award the nickname Philly to Phil Dacey, due to an uncanny likeness this evening to Billy Shreve’s confusion over Roberts’ Rules everything. Tonight he was incensed that they must quickly offer opinions on items they don’t know enough about. This would seem like a BFD, if it were true that the public never gets to weigh in. But here is the thing: the public elected Delegates and Senators and Joseph(ina) Q. Public is perfectly free to contact the people who will actually be voting on these bills to let them know what their priorities are. The council opinion is not meant to convey the constituents’ opinions, so much as it is meant to offer insight from the standpoint of officials who have a closer relationship with all the invested players in the business community and pertinent county agencies. And hey, we can understand if you aren’t familiar with this process that it seems a little crazy, but at least they asked for your opinion. You can give it, or not. And there’s a little foreshadowing for you folks…

First they were to offer support or decline to support a bill to establish a registry of private laboratories that have biohazardous materials so that in the event of an emergency the first responders know about the biohazards. This is of particular concern to Frederick County for reasons that are hopefully obvious to most everyone. Steve McKay referred to this bill as a “no-brainer” because (per his explanation) basically we are talking about nasty stuff that is one step away from being weaponized. Philly indignantly snapped, “Are you implying the state delegation has no brain?” There was more agony with the hand wringing over not knowing anything about this and having to decide in a hurry (glug, glug, glug) and Kai piled on, seconding the “no-brainer” quality of this needed legislation. I mean, whoever heard of it being a big deal if anthrax happens to get out into the environment, right? Oh and also this has come up thrice already with unanimous support from the Council in every previous year, but it has passed the House of Delegates and failed in the Senate repeatedly. Jerry Donald contributed that Ron Young is optimistic that it can be passed at long last because the thorn in the Senate is not longer in office. Fingers crossed. 6 ayes, 1 abstention on this one. You can’t make this stuff up.

Phil Dacey gets the “Abstinence-Only Doesn’t Work” Award. In this case it literally means you aren’t working. Sigh.

That he was getting nowhere with tabling the opportunity to give an opinion to the delegation started to really grate at Dacey, and in turn agitate your Yokel on duty. The next one was somewhat confusing, because of a sort of double negative setup. Here’s the query: Should the Council oppose including Frederick County in State Legislation exempting Agritourism businesses from being required to meet certain life safety building and zoning standards.

Some of the more interesting work of the previous Council was working to have farm wineries and breweries and allow special events in these spaces. Because many of them are charming old barns they are susceptible to certain safety hazards (like flammability), and so this having been a thing that was extensively cultivated involving the various interested parties like brewers and vintners and farmers and county agencies, the thinking was, “Nah, we’d not like to have gone through all that and have these things exempted from safety measures.” Fire safety regulation has had its opponents previously, if you followed the rogue wedding venues dramas of the past year or so. (If not: Here, here, here.) Philly moved to table the opportunity for opinion giving. Back and forth and forth and back and then got snippy that he had a motion and M.C. had to explain that nobody seconded the motion, and then no one did, so the motion failed.

And.

He.

Kept.

Going.

There was so much whining and undignified begging. It was truly disrespectful of the process that he was so desperately trying to knight-in-shining-armor save from itself. Steve McKay and Jessica Fitzwater both said they were comfortable with taking a position, because it was a position not to do something rather than a position favoring a new measure. We have to disagree here. That is entirely beside the point, which is up above, but we will revisit. We are all free to contact our representatives in Annapolis. That is how government works. We don’t need it to pass from us through Kai Hagen and Michael Blue or whomever. Annnnnd…On that note, we are so terribly remiss in bestowing an award of gratitude upon Michael the Miracle of District 5–this is such an improvement from He Who Shan’t Be Named. With that, we will end on a positive note. Deep breaths.

Special Council Bulletin: Marathon Meeting Madness Warning

We are looking at the agenda for tonight’s meeting and thinking that there’s a lot to cover, possibly due to the cancelation last week. Budget Adjustments get the party started, as is the custom. The fact that Billy is not available to dork around in a petulant manner at this point is cause for a swig of Barefoot Bubbly. The fact that we are scared that Phil Dacey is willing and able to fill that role makes us wonder if we won’t need something harder for these things in the future.

Other matters for the meeting include appointment confirmations, Monocacy River Plan Presentation, Maryland General Assembly Legislative Items. After the break there will be some bills for public hearing. Here they are (if you use the link above for the agenda then the links to the bills there will be active).

We kind of miss the games, but this Council offers more dignity than we are accustomed to. The rules for this meeting are simple: take a gulp of that cheap bubbly every time Phil reminds you of Billy in a suit.

Hypocrisy is alive and well in Ole Fredericktowne!

Hello folks! We’ve been taking a little break here since the only wrench in our council at the moment is Phil Dacey, and everyone else seems to be keeping a lid on that mess. Anyhoo, we have heard rumblings about him wanting to seek higher office, and with his Michael Hough/ALEC mimicry in full force we don’t doubt it. So, we promise to help keep an eye on that one for ya!

Speaking of politicians, or at least aspiring ones, we’ve had a few chuckles reading about the exploits of some of our former characters. Let’s start with #kirbydelauter. Apparently, Kirby has been filling his time by accepting a position on the board of the Frederick County Conservative Club (stop laughing, this is a serious group y’all!). This group was born out of a deep seated frustration that local Republicans voted for some candidates that some other Republicans didn’t like. There was lots and lots of bad blood, and good stuff for us to read. Well, in the FNP’s Political Notes column we read about some fun times between this group and the already established Frederick Republican Club:

A spokesman for the Frederick County Conservative Club demanded an apology from a former Republican candidate for County Council for a Facebook comment he made regarding Kirby Delauter, a former county councilman.

Danny Farrar, who ran for an at-large seat last year, called Delauter a “D—–bag” who “can straight talk to anybody but himself” on Frederick County Fact Check, a left-leaning political Facebook page, earlier this month.

That prompted a video response from James Grose, spokesman for the Frederick County Conservative Club, established last August.

Grose asked Farrar to either apologize to Delauter in that video, or step down from the Frederick County Republican Club.

“Bashing known conservatives, who have spent 8 years of their life dedicating it to Frederick County, and tons of their money, and helping other people … is that really how a board member should be acting?” Grose asked.

Farrar said he resigned from the Republican Club roughly three weeks ago, before he commented about Delauter on social media.

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BAAAHAAHAA! Kirby and company are upset because someone, whom Kirby publicly bashed and accused of high crimes and misdemeanors, called him a douchebag? Kirby?! We are going to laugh ourselves to sleep tonight!

Do we have to point out the hypocrisy in all this? If a board member of a club needs to adhere to a certain decorum, then how about an elected official? Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane. Do we all remember the time Kirby called David Gray a moron?  Or how about the time he said on the radio that Bud Otis had his head up the County Executive’s skirt and that Bud better tread lightly around him?  Or take a look at this recent exchange between him and a turned-off voter in which he called her a POS:

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And, ICYMI, here’s a post we wrote that shows some of the bad blood between Farrar and Delauter. All due to the fact that Farrar threw his support behind Regina Williams, instead of Kirby.  The faux outrage over this whole incident has really been a sight to behold.

Our next Faux Outrage Practitioner is none other than Cindy Rose (T-Thrice failed BoE candidate). She’s really upset that Dr. Lois Jarman, who made a funny acronym about her and her hate slate on our page, was about to be appointed to the BoE. First she wrote a letter to the editor, that mentioned yours truly. Here’s our favorite part:

On March 14, 2018, while running for delegate to represent the people of District 4, Ms. Jarman took time out of her campaign to post on the Facebook page FC Local Yokel under a post about my inability to read data: “We need to make sure that the HERPies or the slate of hate does not make it to the general election. Let’s nip this in the bud in June!”

It’s one thing to disagree with a person’s ideology; it’s quite another to compare them to a venereal disease in a public forum. The Board of Education has already reprimanded and censured two sitting members for abuse of social media. One infraction was so egregious that a member of the Maryland State Education Association was fired for her part in it.

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If bashing people on social media disqualifies someone from public office, doesn’t that mean that SHE is unfit?

Then she took her outrage to the noodley appendage, where she demanded an apology from Dr. Jarman. Aint’ that rich?!?!

Ms. Jarman displayed a level of unprofessionalism and incivility rarely seen, even in today’s very divisive climate.

During the council’s public comments on Ms. Jarman’s appointment, M. C. Keegan-Ayer, council president, reported that Ms. Jarman apologized for her bad choice in making such a statement. She didn’t apologize for posting it, she apologize for the “choice” she made in posting.

On January 22, 2019, I wrote to Ms. Jarman and welcomed her to the Board of Education.

I also felt compelled to ask her about her commitment to education since the public was denied the opportunity to vet her. The questions I asked:

  1. As a militant advocate of LGBT matters and past attendee of the racist, bigoted Women’s March, I want to know if you plan on sticking to matters that involve local public education, or if you plan to pursue, along with other progressive members of the BoE, a political agenda?
  1. Do you plan on running in 2020 to keep this position?
  1. If you do and you earn your seat, will you abandon it in two years like Mr. Kerr, to seek a higher office?
  1. What is your position on Policy 443? (The policy that allows boys into girl’s bathrooms.)

As of this writing no apology, nor the answers to my questions, have been forthcoming.

 

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Please don’t answer her Dr. Jarman, no good will come of it.

You can just go ahead and put her name in our search engine and see all of her social media transgressions. But, we guess that’s different. Screen Shot 2018-08-04 at 1.25.49 PM35972465_2091603234201419_9087080196133093376_nScreen Shot 2018-05-05 at 8.56.54 AM

Cindy Rose English-Only screenshot

And #neverforget:

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We aren’t out of a hobby yet!

Ladies and gentlemen, Frederick Countians of all ages, we regret to inform you that we are some bit afeared of what we are hoping is not a trend. The early part–and extremely educational segment–of the meeting was focused on the budget decision held over from the previous meeting with regards to allowing the health department to buy a vehicle. In order for Phil Dacey to better understand the situation, Dr. Barbara Brookmyer came and gave an awesome tutorial, and we are all the better for knowing what we know now. Recommended viewing, in fact. Much like the Human Trafficking Workshop of the previous council, we learned a lot about a matter that has serious impact upon the well-being of our community.

Today we learned the health department is a dually led entity that is part state and part county. The state wants the county to procure a vehicle for a safe syringes program. NB: this will not cost the county money. The program in the state of Maryland involves several different mandatory elements, including collecting dirty needles, supplying clean needles, and undergoing disease testing for stuff like HIV and hepatitis C. Reasons they would like for this program to be successful in Frederick County include our geographic location on “The Heroin Highway” and our neighboring two abysmally afflicted counties in West Virginia. Dr. Brookmyer used a specific example of a jurisdiction that traced all 190 HIV cases to a single syringe, she stressed that the price of treating a single case of HIV can run to $600,000 (times 190 is $114,000,000.00) and a clean syringe costs 10 whole cents (times 190 is $19.00. Cost benefits analysis, bro.

Other reasons they would like to keep this thing mobile is the NIMBY’s preferring not to have a drug treatment program run on their corner (Weird, right! Have y’all heard about our totally uncontroversial Downtown Frederick Marriott, though?) and also that our county is hugenormous, and furthermore that people who do the drugs don’t necessarily come to your central office, especially because often they are not super interested in going to all that trouble for the express purpose of not doing the drugs. However, meeting them where they are at often establishes relationships that show them where to go and who will help when they do decide they ready to stop doing the drugs. Phil Dacey told us basically that it’s cool if many of us are infected with HIV, because he is a libertarian ideologue. Besides, he notes that he’s better than we think because he didn’t call it Uber for Needles. Har har. Honk if you love Frednecks in a suit. Opioids anyone? Hat tip to M.C. Keegan-Ayer for the adult perspective of child rearing in the days where your kids have lost someone to drugs. By all means, ideologue away by your lonesome. This decision passed 6-1, but at least our NewBilly can say “nay.”

There were also presentations on Public Information Act Requests, and Ethics, and Open Meetings. We learned all kinds of wise advice from this. You should not write out things you don’t want to see in print. Also probably don’t send your Anthony Weiner if you don’t want to see it in the news. That part, which we like to think was implied, was not covered, nor was, “He won’t buy the cow, dear, if you give him the milk for free,” but mostly this stuff was common sense responsibility. Also, too, no public money campaigning (but what about if you want to put your campaign sign and the Boy Scouts in Winchester Hall…still no? ok then…).

Then we had the final brouhaha in which we both kind of agree with Phil Dacey and simultaneously are in danger of having a stroke. He does not want to go into closed session to talk to the BOE appointee who would potentially fill Ken Kerr’s vacated seat, because he feels that elected people get elected in public, not quietly in an office. That’s true, and everyone kind of sees what he is saying, but there’s some reluctance to just up and change everything on this candidate mid-process because this was how they handled personnel changes before, and because doing like that’s frankly a bit obnoxious and unprofessional. Lots of back and forth ensues about whether or not they will ask this candidate about willingness to answer stuff in public, but he is still going to vote no about the closed session motion. At this point we are screaming at our TV: HOW WILL YOU ASK HER TO DO THAT IF YOU DO NOT LEAVE AND GO ASK? When will this magic take place? Please make it stop!!!!

Party Bonus: Dacey brought a fan club for public comment. Then Steve McKay reined that in with some diplomacy and knowledge about the authority behind this BOE replacement idea, which is The Code of Maryland Regulations (a.k.a. COMAR).

 

Top 5 Yokel posts of 2018! What a spectacular year in local politics!

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Time to get out the soap and bactine and start anew!

Since way back in 2015, we’ve ended the year with a recap of our Top Five posts of the year! This election year was contentious with a lot of betrayal, at least that’s the way Kirby framed it all. Here’s our fifth most read post of the year:

5. Where in the World is the High Sheriff? Oh Crap….

Our High Sheriff has spent way too much time on Fox News and visiting the White House pontificating on border issues while we face much more pressing issues here at home. ICYMI, click on the above link to bear witness to the fear mongering he and Fox News have become so adept at.

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All decked out in his finery!

4. The Hate Slate Makes Its Debut. 

While we cannot take credit for the moniker, we thought it was a perfect description of Cindy Rose and her merry band of minions who attempted, oh so poorly, to take over the BoE. Click above to read through their first press release and the corrections we asked a teacher to make for us!

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How could the authors of this #SAD diatribe think we could trust them with our children’s education?

 

3. Picturegate.

Remember the time that Kathy Afzali and crew thought it would be a good idea to photoshop Phil Dacey into a picture with the governor? The judgement of some folks!

 

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So very poorly and stupidly done!

 

2. Click, Clack, No!

Oh, who could forget the time that Cindy Rose labeled a beloved children’s book union propaganda? When we contacted the author she was even aghast at Cindy’s interpretation. What times we live in!

 

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And our most read post of the year: TFW the local Republicans go Cannibal!

The threads on Facebook concerning the ultimate betrayal of voting for anyone besides Kirby is a sight to behold! If you missed this gem, be sure to click back through. Here’s a little taste:

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We can see you folks!

Can’t wait to see what 2019 has in store for us!

Hopefully 2019 will be better. Your In and Out list of 2018.

In the midst of government shut-downs, ill-advised military withdrawals, and a general feeling of all is lost, it is important to remember our local victories! We’ve kinda gone into sleep mode here, with the new county council settling in like adults, and no election in the near future, we can rest up a bit. Not that Trump and his constant blunderings makes that easy for us. However, you have to look for the breath of fresh air amongst the total shit storm we find ourselves in.

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Over and over and over again!

Therefore we present to you your 2018 Frederick Local Yokel In and Out list!

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Don’t miss the meeting tonight!

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If everyone plays nice this could be our resolution!

Grab your agenda and tune in tonight. Your Yokels are all kinds of holiday stressed out. No time to dream up a witty drinking game. Anyone placing bets on whether Dacey shows tonight? Just keep a bottle of your favorite winter beverage handy. We hope to see the continuance of civility tonight. Have a drink if it does, or two if it doesn’t.