Get your soup and grab your dildos! Ted Cruz is a comin’ to town!!!

Local Grocers we hope you stocked up!
Local Grocers we hope you stocked up!

If you’ve got a hankering for some Campbell’s Chunky Soup you best haul your butt down to the store before Rafael gets here! We’ve heard he likes to buy it in bulk. (Seriously, what is wrong with him?)

Anyhoo, rumor has it that he’s going to make an appearance (taint) the Weinberg at 10 tomorrow. We want to encourage our fellow Yokels to show up at the Weinberg tomorrow with either a dildo, because Ted really hates them, or a can of soup if ya think the guy is hungry.

Here’s a hint as to which one we here at the Yokel have decided to bring:


Let’s give this charlatan a good old fashion Frederick welcome!