Your October 20 drinking game: Libraries, Agriculture and Marijuana oh my!

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And that's not how you read!
And that’s certainly not how you read!

If you had to drink copious amounts of wine to get over this past weekend’s Letters to Editor extravaganza, you may just want to observe this week’s game. What LTE’s ? Well, Blaine’s of course, but that’s par for the course.  The one that had us all in a tizzy was the “letter” that waxed nostalgic about the good old days when people formed posses and  kicked everyone’s butts.  You know, the days of milk and honey when your friendly gun did no harm and certainly way before that devil Obama taught all our sissy children to run and hide from gunfire instead of charging the gun man head on. Man those were the days!

Sorry Snickers! We will try to be better!
Sorry Snickers! We will try to be better!

If you were blissfully ignorant of all that apologies, apologies! We’ll get on to the game. Grab your agenda, DO NOT call Billy (unless you have something funny to say) and remember this is all in good fun. Click here to watch it live.

Consent agenda looks really interesting. Lots of Billy’s pet causes: Library, Family Partnership, Parks and Rec, Housing and Community Development. Will this all pass without a hitch? Of course not. If Billy tells us to go the now defunct Borders to buy a book or in any way decides to criticize the purchase list of the library slam back a Ernest Hemingway Special.

Next up we have the first reading of an amendment to appeal the Agricultural Rights Transfer Ordinance. If there is any complaining, even a sigh, about overturning another Blaine deal drink some Bitch Juice!

Time for Public Comments! For everyone that decides to complain about the county taking back the nursing home, take a sip of your Zombie, since that’s what that kind of talk makes us feel like.

Whoop Whoop! Council member comments! We hear that Fireballs are popular with some of the members. Therefore, if anything untoward should happen, slam back the Fireball shots at will!

Last item is a hearing about the growth of Medical Cannabis here in Frederick county. So far we seem to be aligned with Billy on this issue. (Not sure if our motives are the same, but hey, we’ll take what we can get!) Also, not sure how the other members feel (looking at you Tony), so if there’s any dissent on giving sick people the relief they need, have a shot of some cannabis vodka.

 

Hey Carroll County, wanna make a deal?

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We would barely have to change the map!
We would barely have to change the map!

Hey Carroll County neighbors! How ya doing on this crisp Fall morning? Many of us over here in Frederick have a proposition for you. How about a little land deal, specifically the section of Union Bridge that FORMER BOCC President Blaine Young now occupies? Please take this proposal under serious consideration, we’ll let it go for pennies.

We have spoken of the previous bitterness that Blaine exhibits when Jan fixes his monumental mistakes. And with all earnestness, we here at the Yokel hoped he would find new purpose in his lawn care business and would leave us all the hell alone. Alas,one look at this morning’s Letters to the Editors shows just how naive we were. The only consolation we receive is the comment section which is on full blown anti-Blaine alert . We are not even going to pick apart the letter since it’s a bunch of nonsense that doesn’t deserve the time we would waste. However, we will say that chuckling occurred when he stated that money saved could have been used towards schools and roads. Does he think we are all new here?

Before we sign off, a shout out to Harvey Burnsteel of Thurmont who wrote a great LTE about Mr. Shreve this morning. Here’s our favorite part:

Shreve’s performance to date, further supported by his letters to the editor, is barely above poor. We citizens of Frederick County deserve better representation than this.

Agreed Mr. Burnsteel, we all deserve better.

It’s that time of the week again!

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Let’s wrap up the results from last week before we move on to this week’s juicy topic.  Thank Thor that we won’t actually (we hope) have to see this legislation go through.

meine

 

So, now that Frau Gardner did not use eminent domain to take possession of Citizen’s at Montevue, we predict there will be talk of what she will use it on to take over. So many choices! Pick the one Billy will say she will come after next.

Billy Blue Light Special

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The FDR of Frederick County, Billy Shreve (hahahahahaha, poor FDR, rolling in his grave…) was having a regular Fireside Chat on WFMD again this morning. At first we thought we might not listen and just make up what he said, since it was likely to be so predictable. And, yes, we could have nailed it to the wall without the 20 minutes wasted. Jan’s a dictator without a plan who lost money and yaddayaddayadda. We’ve already been through all those counterpoints.

Those newspapers of the nation which most loudly cried dictatorship against me would have been the first to justify the beginnings of dictatorship by somebody else.--Franklin D. Roosevelt
Those newspapers of the nation which most loudly cried dictatorship against me would have been the first to justify the beginnings of dictatorship by somebody else.–Franklin D. Roosevelt (Did FDR read The Tentacle?!)

The true surprise is that Bob Miller pushes back about Jan’s dictatorship. He also calls copious attention to the fact that the people who wanted a charter government were insistent upon a County Executive who had the power to make decisions and act on them, and that “those people” got what they wanted. Wonder which people Mr. Miller is referring to…Does anyone recall Billy expressing any concern about how easily a C.E. might become a “dictator” before it was Jan Gardner’s job?

There was a clip with Jan Gardner from MidMaryland Live saying that she couldn’t understand how a fiscal conservative would have supported the deal made by the BOCC that got us into all this mess, and it’s a question many, many other people wonder about as well, but Bob went to a commercial break and we then came back to some surrealist nonsense about how if you take your car to the government to fix instead of Jiffy Lube then you have to live at the government’s auto repair shop now. This may be a slight paraphrasing, but it did not make a lot more sense. And remember we talked about this back in April.

To make bad worse, Kirby called in from the netherworld and said the worst thing about private enterprise is that you have to go to work every dang day, and insinuated that other people don’t, as though you can’t be fired for doing a bad job if you work at a county run nursing home. He also fails miserably at making the point he wants to make, since if you go out of business as a private facility, you cease to exist. In the case of indigent elderly patients that would necessarily be a worse outcome than the county accepting a loss during that fiscal year.

Numerous people on numerous issues need to recognize that doing the cheapest thing is not always the best (even if and when the premise of said argument isn’t necessarily cheaper anyway). I don’t shop at Kmart. I don’t want anyone receiving Kmart quality healthcare, and I don’t want any kids in this county at Kmart quality schools. As a private business, in the immortal words of Dustin Hoffman, “Kmart sucks.” They aren’t even particularly successful at selling low quality junk. Let’s stop trying to make everything Kmart.

Also, BS looked into his BS crystal ball and decided that in 2 years the whole thing will be run into the ground and losing money. We may need a hashtag to keep updated on the doomsday scenario. #brokein2years ? Open to suggestions, locals!

Your Tweedledee and Tweedledum letters to the editor edition!

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Poor C. Paul Smith.  It must be so hard for him to be out of the loop. Today he wrote a letter to the editor complaining about Jan’s threat to use eminent domain and how he shockingly believes the county shouldn’t be in the nursing home business.  And oh how embarrassing for his rantings to be 48 hours on this side of irrelevant. So please Mr. Smith, find a new hobby. You are not good at this! Now on to Tweedledum.

Now this LTE from Billy looks awfully familiar.

I guess the 4 comments he received on Facebook wasn't adequate.
I guess the 4 comments he received on Facebook weren’t adequate.

Step One: Whines about big old meanie Jan taking down the signs that he and his BOCC cohorts put up at the borders. Signs that the State Highway administration, in another one of their famous partisan attacks, made them take down years ago. How much did these metal pieces of propaganda cost us anyway?

Step Two: Jan is going to go around the county seizing businesses left and right. No industry is safe. Because everything that happened with Aurora is indicative of what could happen everywhere else. So hot dog stands, Fireball salesmen and ski resorts better take heed. Jan is coming for thy livelihoods.

Step Three: Billy only likes tax credits for businesses when Blaine comes up with them. Despite being told at the meeting where they discussed this credit that separate programs exist to help small businesses,he still chooses to leave that fact out. And Billy really hates paying people a living wage. It’s a theme that keeps coming up with him.

Now the steps are done, but the complaining is NOT. He wants to be able to berate county staff directly. And how in Poseidon’s blue ocean can he do that if 5 sets of hands have to “touch an email” before his rant gets passed on? Then grrrr, let’s complain about the “rain tax” (Stormwater and Sewer management thank you very much). Let’s be like Virginia and wait 20 years until raw sewage is floating in our water supply before we do anything about it. Because business. Maybe Billy should call one of the Downtown businesses that experienced flood damage two weeks ago. If business complains, then will he listen?

And finally, someone is calling Billy again. And he’s actually encouraging people to call him by putting his phone number on his Facebook page. So if you have something you would like to say have at it.

And please oh please, FNP commenters, do your job today!

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Dead horse beating meeting (version eleventy bazillion)

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So last evening’s hot workshop topic was the ethics task force final report, and how that went on and on. And on. And on.  It is a complex issue, worthy of serious discussion. Some things on the list:

  • Increasing the ethics commission size from 5 to 7 members, and limiting them to 2 terms.
  • Developing a defined process for reconsidering advisory provisions (I would like to put a Lebowski quote here, but it’s got a no-no word)
  • An astonishingly controversial conflict of interest clause that prohibits elected officials, their spouses, children, parents, or siblings, or business entities that elected officials (or any of these same close relatives) have a financial interest in from doing business with the county
  • Tightening up financial disclosure for some positions
  • A clause prohibiting retaliation toward anyone who files an ethics complaint (good idea, maybe!)
  • Making it possible to subpoena people for ethics violation issues

There’re a bunch of problems, and you can guess who has them (although, surprisingly, Kirby Delauter was nearly silent through the whole thing). Billy Shreve is the B.S. boy, and he was on duty. Probably thought he would have more credibility with Kirby’s Law already on the books. One such problem he has is why the commission is not appointed by an independent body (he’s miffed, because Jan gets to be the deciderer…sort of). Maybe the Bar Association? I hope he said Bar and not Bartenders.

Turns out, it’s in the charter. Who would have thunk it? The charter gives the C.E. power of appointments, with approval by the council. And then Billy’s all, “Why are we bothering if  we can’t change anything?” Round and round we go, and luckily Mr. Karl Bickel manages to put it palatably by explaining that everyone is on the same page, and that the charter is the obstacle but the task force doesn’t have the authority to amend it. Billy behaves like a giant snozzcumber, even when he has a good point, like that the definition of financial interest needs to be clear. It’s the tone of voice, man.

Thrash it!!!!
Thrash it!!!!

We are growing numb to this argument about how nobody can have a livelihood and be an elected official with these onerous prohibitions guarding against the appearance of impropriety. Mr. Craig Hicks kindly points out that it depends upon the industry as to how large a part of the market share is dependent upon the government. I suppose this means if you are a cobbler or run a spa, you may still have a chance to avoid the debtors prison. Oh we don’t have those, anymore? Hm. I better not give anyone ideas this primary season.

Your dear ol Yokel is sick to death of the whining about how you can’t participate in government if you are a poor little bidnessman. We are trying to watch these things and be informed and responsive citizens (and help some of y’all out by sharing the info, too). We are cooking dinner, wrangling homework, and chauffeuring to and from sports fields when meetings take place. It’s not just a Founding Fathers’ world that has changed. Abigail Adams’ modern counterparts have a lot going on, and time is a luxury both men and women have to balance. Every bit as valuable as money. I know a couple of them are probably burned up about it, but nowadays (!!!) we also get to vote and hold office. The way a couple council members have spoken to their female peers when they are agitated speaks volumes.

So, Chmelik. He’s all crabby about making rules that have maybe not even been broken yet and stuff. Linda Norris-Weldt lets him know (and I believe this came up more than once) that they got input from citizens, and amongst people about town the perception is that things used to go on in the dark behind closed doors. Uh….you don’t say?

Toward the conclusion we were treated to some mental gymnastics that on one level sounded perfectly reasonable, concerning whether or not a decision from the ethics commission could be appealed. Sounds sensible, right? And then it just isn’t, because what it is really about is how it can (and that one time has) come to pass that the County Executive issues an executive order when the ethics commission is not sufficiently ethical, and it isn’t actually about appealing a penalty at all. Just griping that they might be expected to be, well, ethical.

 

Council member comments-Let the cray cray come out to play!

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Usually we mix in the council member comments with our report of the meeting. However, this section of the meeting deserves a separate post. Seriously thinking of doing a PIA to see who is coaching Billy and Kirby on the stuff that comes out of their mouths. Let’s begin with the esteemed Council Member from District 5.

How many more months can this go on for dear citizens? How many more?
How many more months can this go on for dear citizens? How many more?

Kirby has some really good investigative information about the Rock the Barn event that took place a few weeks back. This event was the pinnacle of unethical tomfoolery  seen this side of the Appalachians! When are you people going to open your eyes and see how the union is stealing money from the teachers and then giving it to two other teachers in order to advance their evil plan for world domination? And for $1,000 a plate? Where was this barn located? The Ritz-Carlton? Thankfully, we have Kirby to unravel all the deceit that is taking place right under our noses! He over and over and over again reminds us to “Follow the money!”

Wait, what’s that Council Woman Fitzwater? The teacher’s union isn’t allowed to use member dues to contribute towards political activity? It comes from a voluntary fund, that people actually VOLUNTEER to donate to? I don’t understand. Kirby was all set to unionize his workers and then steal their dues to finance his campaign. How will he get re-elected now?  And what about the $1000 a plate? That’s not true either?

It says $1000 on there somewhere!
It says $1000 on there somewhere!

Does that mean everything Kirby said was wrong tonight? Everything?

Oh well, let’s move on. Jerry  mentions  attending a drug graduation program with Chmelik. And then refuses to address anything Kirby said because, you know, dead horse.

Readers, do you really want to know about Billy’s comments? I wish I could take a live poll while I am writing this. But since we aren’t technologically there yet, sigh…

Billy hates liquor inspectors. He’s very upset that now instead of having two part time inspectors we will have one benefited, salaried inspector. Because you know paying people so they can actually live, breathe and eat really sucks! And then there’s some complaining about some mysterious, small restaurant that exists on a giant parcel of land that can’t get its liquor license. And now Billy is going to go into full hyperbolic mode and let’s us all know that this county is doing everything, and he means everything they can to make sure they are unfriendly to business. EVERYTHING!

Tony wants us to know that a blog stated that 7 out of 10 elementary schools are really good in his district. Really good. Does that mean he’ll keep that in mind next year when budget discussions come up? Tony will also have a Town Hall in Mt. Airy at 6:30 on November 2. He has promised that, “Everything is up to debate.”

M.C. reminds us that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month. So ladies make sure you get those things checked out!

Bud is participating in this Saturday’s Heartly House event: Are you man enough to walk a mile in her shoes? We know some on the council watch page will probably criticize the way you walk this Saturday Bud, but we support you! Bud also has something to say about a certain Council Member’s accusation that since the new government took hold, permits have been very slow to process. (Bud doesn’t mention who made the complaint, but we have a pretty good guess). Well, Bud asked the agency to do an internal audit to see if there was anything to this. And the result? No significant change. But I am sure that dead horse will come out again soon.

What legislation did Kirby really want poll!

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Here’s your take on what Billy would have to do to get ejected from WFMD:

 

 

 

Poor baby bunny, hasn't learned not to listen to Kirby yet.
Poor baby bunny, hasn’t learned not to listen to Kirby yet.

If you watched the last meeting you would know that Kirby wants a lot of strange legislation sent off to Annapolis. Despite his protests, he really doesn’t understand the concept of Federalism. What if we told you, dear readers, that he actually toned down his list? Which one of these choices do you think Kirby really wanted to put forth?

 

 

 

Your October 6th drinking game: Sweet Aphrodite, don’t let Billy embarrass us!

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It will happen Mr. Pusskins his powers of embarrassment are beyond any earthly being's control.
It will happen Mr. Pusskins. His powers of embarrassment are beyond any earthly being’s control.

We are so nervous, Yokels.  Montgomery County Executive Isiah Legett is visiting this week’s County Council meeting, and now our neighbors to the South are going to know about our shame. Do you think it’s possible that for one day Billy, Kirby and Tony can all keep it together? We don’t either. Anyway, remember this game is for entertainment purposes only; Billy’s too busy yapping on WFMD to come to your rescue these days. Print your agenda out here and watch along here.

If any of the three amigos say anything derogatory about Montgomery County in any way, shape or form slam back a Death in the afternoon.

If we learn of a mysterious letter crafted by Paul Smith that creates some work of fiction involving secrecy and loss of revenue based upon Installment Purchase Agreements, drink up a Delusion.

Legislation to amend the permitted uses within waterbody buffers is being sponsored by Councilman Jerry Donald. As Billy has let it be known in the past that erosion control jeopardizes the potential for a new Grand Canyon in Frederick County, we must presume there will be strenuous objections. If Tony or Kirby chime in, chug a Surly Bandwagon.

Also we have a workshop discussion, and this one is not going to be fun like Santa’s. The most dramatic will be the ethics task force’s proposal, which will be like coal in the stocking, as Kirby’s Law is all but certain to become part of the ethics code. If there is a Delauterburst–If? Excuse us…When there is a Delauterburst, take a swig of Mad Dog 20/20. No link necessary there, right?

Upcoming Meetings–because at least one of these looks very interesting:

  •   Tuesday, October 13, 2015, at 4:30 p.m. – Workshop – Medical Cannabis
  •   Tuesday, October 20, 2015, at 4:30 p.m. – Legislative Day
  •   Tuesday, October 27, 2015, at 4:30 p.m. – Workshop Frederick County Business Tax Credit