frederick local yokel

Now we knew tonight was going to be one hot mess. That the crazies were going to come out of the wood work. But oh Helena up on the hill, the ignorance we have had to hear tonight has made us fear for our species’ future.

In the beginning, our eloquent councilwoman Fitzwater, gave a very stirring introduction. Her reasons for the repeal and a very necessary attack against hate group ProEnglish made our hearts soar. And there have been many, many citizens that have restored our faith.  Then there’s this guy:

What does this guy have to say? Well, it has nothing to do with diversity. It’s costly (he of course has no evidence of this), and it unifies us as Americans! It’s the way it should be!

The anti-repeal people are very angry. And I have a feeling they are angry about a lot of things. Some of them thought it was hilarious to speak some Spanish while they were up there. And yes, we were rolling on the floor over that. Here are some quotes from this evening:

English language ordinances don’t send an unwelcoming message.

Landscapers and Dairy farmers are reaping the benefit of this.

I don’t feel like I live in America! I am 67 years old and I don’t need to learn another language!

It’s a management issue.

I worked with a Native American who was grateful he was taken from his family and forced to learn English in a government school.

You, Mr. Otis, are a monarchist.

I agree with the High Sheriff. Listen to the High Sheriff.

This repeal is only a personal opinion!

This is America! English only!

We are giving our country away. We are going into the ground.

Whew! This is almost too much. This ordinance, admittedly so, has no real legal teeth since there are State and Federal laws that must be obeyed. However, it makes us look like uneducated, backwoods, xenophobic rednecks. And enough is enough! There is no need for it! Good-bye!

Tune back in August 18th for the result!

The morose music preceding the start of this meeting was akin to the foreshadowing my English teacher taught us back in high school. This section of the meeting was supposed to be easy. Agenda approval, a couple of Budget Transfers, approval of a Fire Chief and then on to the recess. Whose gonna make this difficult?

Approve tonight’s agenda? Hell no! Question all these BT’s…why yes please. What’s got Billy all in a huff today? Well he doesn’t care for money going for an American Sign Language Interpreter. Isn’t that a foreign language, duh? He really wanted to know what the library was going to do with that $26,000 the State gave them. Because reading yuck-a-roo! At this point Tony chimes in because he knows all about this. The library is thinking of providing passport services, since they are seriously lacking. And Tony is soooo into this because he likes his travel time. Now Kirby has something to say, because damnit, he was going to be against this but now that Tony is jumping to its defense, what the hell can he do? Now brace yourself because these exact words came out of Councilman Delauter’s mouth:

If it’s a good thing and helps people I have no problem with it.

We know readers!!! What the hell? Does he think we are all new here or something?!

So back to Billy, he wants the library to have a fundraiser, but screw all this funding nonsense. But he’s really happy that the Sheriff’s office can help the heroin addicts. He’s getting tired of all the calls again.

So after all this questioning you would certainly think Old Billy boy would have some kind of opinion about this. Right?! Right?! Well, my poor naive friends you would be wrong. Because abstain it is!

Same with the confirmation of Tom Owens.

Last item on this first half of the agenda was the 1st reading of a bill for an Industrial Business/Business tax credit. Just a reading. Billy was not allowed to comment and quipped that he just loved the process under this new Charter.

Well our BFF Bud responds with, “I appreciate your comment.” I sure hope  you are talking in code Bud.

See you back here at 7:00!

It’s that time again! Get out your blenders, fine stemware and a pillow because you will have time for a nap! Tuesday, July 21, 2015 – 4:30 p.m tune in here. Remember, too, we’re just kidding here and don’t want you to get yourself crazy, irresponsible, or irrational. That is no bueno.

When Billy stares at the flag while all others face the front, shoot back a Screwdriver, because someone’s head isn’t screwed on right.

Budget transfers in the house! If Billy says no, have The Drink With No Name. If he chooses yes, instead of the proper aye, have an entire six pack of Mad Bitch. If Tom Owens is confirmed as Fire Chief, treat yo self to a Liquid Kryptonite. Nap time! Tune back in at 7:00. Now, whip up a huge batch of Sangria! Whenever anyone talks about repealing the English Only Ordinance pour, clink glasses and take a sip. Repeat with cheers, when it’s actually repealed. If any of these pathetic, inarticulate ProEnglish people get up to speak, throw back a Barking Spider, since they make about as much sense as one. If the discussion pertaining to this:

causes a Kirby Delauter full-grown mantrum, take a shot of Cuervo straight from the bottle. If Billy Shreve also has one because he doesn’t like Jan and he and Kirby have been BFFs since the old days (bros before…what’s the saying?), hit yourself over the head with the bottle until you can’t hear him anymore. Again, joking. We actually like you guys a lot. NB: a clean win for cultural purists would mean a loss of margaritas, shots of tequila, Taco Tuesday and so many other beloved things, oh great land of cultural amalgamation.

We have heard from our good friends at Stand Up Frederick that a group called ProEnglish has descended upon our fair county. First the Scientologists, and now this?! It’s hard to believe that a group even exists that makes it their mission to remove bilingual education from schools and to ensure that English is the only language spoken anywhere in this fair land of ours. On their website they even have a handy link all about our county’s ordinance. Take a peek and make sure you look at the end especially:

” Thank you for defending our English langage heritage in Maryland”?! Is this for real? This group’s  mission is to advocate for the sole use of English and they cannot even spell the word language correctly? (Honestly, the whole post is a hot mess, but spelling the word language incorrectly is especially egregious.) And according to this Huffington Post article, this isn’t the first time they are guilty of misusing the language.

Let us tell you carpetbaggers something about heritage in our Great State of Maryland. Our heritage consists of ripping apart crustaceans on a warm summer day, shouting the “O” extra loud while singing our Nation’s Anthem, and telling people our state is like a “mini” America. Our heritage does not consist of cutting our newest citizens off from information just because they didn’t spontaneously learn English while crossing the border. So please, rational citizens of Frederick County let your voice be heard on July 21 and let’s repeal this thing.

Even though he claims to have four jobs, Blaine should never, ever add lifeguard to that list:

 

 

This week’s poll is 

 

Oops. Not this Tony.

Don’t miss your chance to ask Tony Chmelik anything and everything on your mind regarding issues in District 2.

Meeting is July 16th from 6-8 pm at the Urbana Library. Save the date. We know many residents have questions. Write them down. Bring your neighbors.

Handy ain’t it? In schools where moms and dads have an extra $125 (on top of the $90 required for all sports), not to mention all the junk you have to buy to keep kids safe and the athletic physicals and the stuff they need if they get jock itch (or Bast forbid, a concussion) and all that jazz…those kids can have a freshman sports program. We wonder what will happen at the schools with lots of FARM kids–that’s free and reduced meals, not Mathilda the cow’s 4H friends. And who will have the stronger athletic programs with their sophomores, juniors and seniors? What a WINNING idea!

Furthermore, the PS in FCPS is the “public school” part. And this comment from rpkrauss on the FNP article announcing this novel plan kinda cuts to the quick.

Soooooo… If it’s budget neutral can parents at certain schools agree to pay extra for say a music teacher or a Latin teacher? How about they pay for a couple of instructional assistants for special needs students. Heck if we work this right each school could become a pay as you go budget neutral facility and we could stop having to pay those pesky taxes for other people’s kids. I think the BOE could be onto something here.

We are all for public schools. Some of us are not using FCPS, and we still don’t begrudge the public school one cent of our tax money. We respect FCPS and the educators working there and we believe in the promise of public education. Having school sports emulate club sports by charging extra fees to some kids, not so much.