It’s that time again! Get out your blenders, fine stemware and a pillow because you will have time for a nap! Tuesday, July 21, 2015 – 4:30 p.m tune in here. Remember, too, we’re just kidding here and don’t want you to get yourself crazy, irresponsible, or irrational. That is no bueno.
When Billy stares at the flag while all others face the front, shoot back a Screwdriver, because someone’s head isn’t screwed on right.
Budget transfers in the house! If Billy says no, have The Drink With No Name. If he chooses yes, instead of the proper aye, have an entire six pack of Mad Bitch. If Tom Owens is confirmed as Fire Chief, treat yo self to a Liquid Kryptonite. Nap time! Tune back in at 7:00. Now, whip up a huge batch of Sangria! Whenever anyone talks about repealing the English Only Ordinance pour, clink glasses and take a sip. Repeat with cheers, when it’s actually repealed. If any of these pathetic, inarticulate ProEnglish people get up to speak, throw back a Barking Spider, since they make about as much sense as one. If the discussion pertaining to this:
causes a Kirby Delauter full-grown mantrum, take a shot of Cuervo straight from the bottle. If Billy Shreve also has one because he doesn’t like Jan and he and Kirby have been BFFs since the old days (bros before…what’s the saying?), hit yourself over the head with the bottle until you can’t hear him anymore. Again, joking. We actually like you guys a lot. NB: a clean win for cultural purists would mean a loss of margaritas, shots of tequila, Taco Tuesday and so many other beloved things, oh great land of cultural amalgamation.