Fellow Yokels we can sum up tonight’s meeting with this:

vu2hh
Thanks Billy and Kirby!

Everything started out per usual. Billy voted no on the agenda, abstained from some consent items and, for some reason, voted against the appointment of the Chief Information Officer. Kirby started to act up a little bit when the talk turned to developers. He wants to make sure that all you people know that his precious little BOCC did not “give away the farm” to developers. We know Kirby! It was farms with a capital S on the end. Thanks for clearing that up!

Things got about as testy as we’ve seen them during council member comments. It was bad folks, like Civil War bad:

caning
We wonder if Bud thought of doing something like this with his gavel.

First we will start with Kirby. Because, believe it or not, he was the tamer of the two tonight. Right out of the gate, he suggested that we Jiffy Lube the FCPS custodians. Why you may ask? Because the private sector is always better! How many times does Kirby need to tell you idiots that before it sinks in? Then he starts in on Doug. It’s so mysterious that the FNP is only accurate when it prints stories that suit Kirby and Billy’s purposes. Every other time it’s an extension of the left wing media machine.

Next it’s this one’s turn:

Oh, isn't that cute? Billy has learned how to use visual aids.
Oh, isn’t that cute? Billy has learned how to use visual aids.

Billy  goes full force into Doug’s character. Now Billy has been waiting a long, long time for this opportunity. Doug has had to put Billy in his place many times over this last year. And old Billy is not above slandering Doug’s character and making accusations based on a case that he will never, ever know the details of. We all know that one of Billy’s strong suits is rambling on about things he knows nothing about. He makes us  aware of the fact that since the insurance company “convicted” Doug the council should right now this very second go on a witch hunt to remove him from his position.  That’s right, there should be a full investigation into whether or not the County Executive is harboring known insurance company convicts in Winchester Hall. And it’s at this point that we wish we had a mad cat at our disposal.

200w
Here kitty, kitty. Wanna snuggle Uncle Billy?

Isn’t it interesting, folks, how Billy and Kirby are always complaining about how things are politically motivated when the former BOCC’s legislation is overturned? How many times have they moaned and groaned about that? Yet, here we are. One accusation in the newspaper and they are ready to blow up the taxpayers money to open up some kind of investigation so they can get rid of one of Jan’s appointees. Well, Doug is not going to take this lying down.

You tell them Doug!
You tell them Doug!

Doug informs the two gentlemen on the dais that they do not know what they are talking about. (Durh!) Doug goes on to say that these two do not seem to be confined by anything, let alone the truth. (Sing it!) He then goes on to say that he is going to sue them for defamation of character. Now that is a trial that we here at The Yokel would want a front seat to. Bud ends this exchange, because it’s going no where and  a county council meeting really isn’t the appropriate venue for this discussion. While the grown up side of us agrees, we would have really liked to see how the rest of this discussion played out.

With Doug out of the line of fire, Billy turns his ire on Bud.

What have we told you about treating Bud this way?
What have we told you about treating Bud this way?

Billy has lots to say. And instead of ending this talk about Doug, he tries to act as though he’s not really talking about him by bringing up the FCC case. Bud throws down his gavel and calls Billy out of order. Billy waahhs, “Isn’t [he] allowed to talk about whatever he wants to during comments?” Is that a real question? The answer to that has to be a resounding: NO. Then the fight begins. In the left corner we have the embarrassment of Frederick County, and in the right, the voice of sanity.

Poor M.C. and Jessica, caught in the crossfire of this hot mess.
Poor M.C. and Jessica. Caught in the crossfire of this hot mess.

Billy questions why the council can’t have their own budget officer. Bud tells them they will. “When”? Billy demands. It will be on the January agenda. And does this guy read anything that is given to him? It gets worse folks. Billy and Kirby put forth a name for the council’s budget director. And we here at The Yokel knew exactly who it was before her name was even mentioned. And we bet you do as well. So these two lap dogs of Blaine decided to name his girlfriend. The same girlfriend with whom Blaine was having an affair while she was his subordinate. But to Kirby this is no big deal at all. He tells Bud that he’s going to have to fire a whole bunch of people in the county because this is going on everywhere. That’s right people it’s all kinds of sexytime in the Frederick County government.  Who knew!?

Thankfully Billy’s time is up, but he tries to interrupt Jerry, who in turn yells at him,”I’ve tried sharing a microphone with you before and it’s like sharing a steak with a pitbull!” Bam! Jerry then goes on to thank anyone who will be willing to work with a group as dysfunctional as this council. Everyone else was a grown up this evening. And it’s sad that they don’t often get the recognition they deserve. So we here at the Yokel would like to issue this award:

This evening's honorable mention must go to Jerry Donald for his "Best and Most Truthful Zinger" in snapping that sharing the microphone with Billy is like sharing a steak with a pit bull.
This evening’s honorable mention must go to Jerry Donald for his “Best and Most Truthful Zinger” in snapping that sharing the microphone with Billy is like sharing a steak with a pit bull.

Well done, Jessica. Folks, the only way this is going to get better is if Billy and Kirby are off that dais. There’s no fixing this. There’s just no way.

After tonight we won't be letting our kitties watch anymore council meetings.
After tonight we won’t be letting our kitties watch anymore council meetings.