Our invitation to the caucus must have gotten lost in the mail!
Our invitation to the caucus must have gotten lost in the mail!

We here at the Yokel were expecting this to be a slow time of year for us! Seriously, we expected most people to be so involved in their holiday preparations that we wouldn’t need to post anything until the Trout Run hearing in January! But oh how so wrong we were, because dear Athena up on Mount Olympus this LTE*:

As someone who is not an enlightened urbanite — I tend to caucus with the Frednecks in our county — it has been my perception that County Council President Bud Otis has rejected the values under which he ran. In short, Otis has decided the alterations recently forwarded throughout our new county government by County Executive Jan Gardner are not only correct, but the direction we should pursue.

What values pray tell is he speaking of?  Because of course none are spelled out in said letter. And is aligning one’s self with Kirby and Billy really a value? Or a lack of one? And why all this hostility for the educated people of our community? Ever since Linda Norris’ much maligned LTE to the Washington Post, urbanite has been thrown around as though it’s some kind of cuss word. Here’s the definition of urbanite we found on the old internets:

A person who inhabits one of the major cities in the world, aged between 17 and 44. An urbanite is an affluent consumer with an optimistic outlook on life that is very different from those who live in “small town” or rural areas.

Urbanites are both a subculture and a contemporary lifestyle. They have 6 key characteristics: Time-poor, city-proud, media-literate, brand-centric, trend-sensitive and culturally-aware.

The British newspaper Metro has listed the 10 “Great expectations” that above all else motivate and drive Urbanites:

01. Expecting to live a meaningful and experience-rich urban life.
02. Expecting to succeed in multiple areas of life (not just career).
03. Expecting to get substantial fulfilment from work (not just cash).
04. Expecting to be at the hub of a large friendship network.
05. Expecting the traditional ideal of “true love” in the modern world.
06. Expecting to have to “make time” in order to have and enjoy time.
07. Expecting to use debt to have what they want, and have it now.
08. Expecting to have a progressive government that delivers results.
09. Expecting to live in a pleasant “urban village” area of their city.
10. Expecting to live a responsible life as an urban consumer.

Oohhh scary!  How can we eliminate this pestilence from our county? Because only the true Fredneck possesses the ability to truly see what’s in a man’s heart. Our local soothsayer continues:

Bless his heart — he has no actual understanding of local leadership or standing behind the values he espoused during the election season.

I am sure the wise urbanites will disagree — but we ignorant Frednecks are seeing this man for who he really is.

Is that what a lack of education buys you? Common sense and the ability to see right into a man’s true intentions? How truly stupid we must have been to spend all those years finishing our fancy book learning. That means people like this letter writer aren’t going to send their kids into the evil clutches of that mind destroying institution otherwise known as the college university. Right? How lucky we are to have these untarnished people right in our own backyard.

*  Please, please if you read the LTE click on the comments. It’s a thing of beauty today.

 

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