Please let these old acquaintances be forgot!

You only have to search our archives to see how ecstatic everyone was when both Billy and Kirby were knocked out in the last primary. It was a relief to us all at Yokel Headquarters to be able to take a break. Because, as those of you who have been with us since the beginning know, it was a bit much to keep up with these two. Unfortunately, these nutters have come back onto our radar lately. And of course it isn’t for anything good.

Let’s start with Kirby. Sometimes we don’t know if we should be angry with him or just feel sorry for him. Whichever it is, he’s stepped out from just being an online troll and posting ignorant tripe such as

To becoming a real life troll who creepily leaves balloons on Kai Hagen’s office door:


We have a lot of questions!


Picture this whole scene for a moment. Kirby goes to the trouble of going to a store and purchasing said balloons. Then he drives to Downtown Frederick, walks into Winchester Hall (who is letting him wander around unsupervised?), and leaves the balloons on Kai Hagen’s door. What a weirdo, and we mean this seriously, “Does Kirby need help?”

Kirby Delauter spotted coming out of the Church Street Garage.

But in all seriousness, banning balloon releases are a good thing. Many jurisdictions all over the country have banned them. Here’s a good infographic for those that can’t be bothered to read:

Or if you need something a bit more graphic:

Grow up Kirby. This is low even for you.

And then there is this amazing doofus:

First of all, does that youngster in the middle look like he really likes Trump, or does he look like he is about to bust a gut messing with these fools? Because we thought they looked like they were having a grand old time yanking the self-avowed deplorables’ chain. Who can say for sure…

And then there’s this issue. Apparently it troubles him not a whit that his #FakeNews site is *obviously* full of covfefe if they are publishing a photo taken by some unfortunate soul–who knows Billy socially–in Frederick and pretending it is people in Iowa. They must have a rigorous fact checking system! Heavens to Betsy! A brighter person would note that enormous red flag that their news source is entirely unreliable. “How unreliable?” might you ask the handy dandy Media Bias Fact Check? And we solemnly swear that they will also say Daily Kos and HuffPo need some independent verification as well (and Jimminy Christmas, stop sharing Natural News on the internet already, people!)

In short, these two characters are dumb. Very, very dumb.

Joy to the World, they’re not in office! Let us rejoice each day!

Which deplorable will be horrible? Your September 19th county council drinking game!

Don’t be like horse!

Another week, another council meeting!!! This is the week in which Tony introduces his wood chipping bill. We’ll see if Billy can bring himself to support this bill, or if he will be super bitter and childish! You can guess which one our money is on! Grab your agenda, turn up the volume on your favorite reality show, and be responsible!! We don’t think Billy is answering calls for help anymore. 

Public comment has been quiet as a mouse lately. If anyone should show up this week, slam back back a Free Spirit Martini. 

We move on to the super normal stuff of budget adjustments and approving the minutes. We know what Shreve will do,  if anyone else should pipe up during these proceedings mix up a bucket of Ginny’s Slammin’ Goddess, since she may be the only one that can save us.

Next up is a modification on the mutual aid agreement between the Sheriff and Brunswick police departments and a vote on the County Supervisor of Assessments. If any shenanigans should occur use a funnel to drink your Fool’s Muse. 

Now, we have some council member initiatives to present to the State County Delegation. This is the very delegation that Billy thinks he should be a part of next year! If that just made you choke, quickly grab a hold of some Kool First Aid! Stat!

First Readings are supposed to be introductions for council information. There is no debate at this stage. However, Billy was very upset with Tony when he wouldn’t support his awful bill about woodchipping enterprises. Our prediction is we will hear some grumblings out of Billy because, well, he self identifies as:


When the inevitable belly-aching occurs, make yourself a pint of Lay Down and Shut Up. 

You are probably done in at this point. Which may be a good thing since council member comments can be a doozy. Take this time to re-hydrate and do some deep breathing exercises. There’s only so much one can take in a night!