You only have to search our archives to see how ecstatic everyone was when both Billy and Kirby were knocked out in the last primary. It was a relief to us all at Yokel Headquarters to be able to take a break. Because, as those of you who have been with us since the beginning know, it was a bit much to keep up with these two. Unfortunately, these nutters have come back onto our radar lately. And of course it isn’t for anything good.
Let’s start with Kirby. Sometimes we don’t know if we should be angry with him or just feel sorry for him. Whichever it is, he’s stepped out from just being an online troll and posting ignorant tripe such as
To becoming a real life troll who creepily leaves balloons on Kai Hagen’s office door:
Picture this whole scene for a moment. Kirby goes to the trouble of going to a store and purchasing said balloons. Then he drives to Downtown Frederick, walks into Winchester Hall (who is letting him wander around unsupervised?), and leaves the balloons on Kai Hagen’s door. What a weirdo, and we mean this seriously, “Does Kirby need help?”
But in all seriousness, banning balloon releases are a good thing. Many jurisdictions all over the country have banned them. Here’s a good infographic for those that can’t be bothered to read:
Or if you need something a bit more graphic:
Grow up Kirby. This is low even for you.
And then there is this amazing doofus:
First of all, does that youngster in the middle look like he really likes Trump, or does he look like he is about to bust a gut messing with these fools? Because we thought they looked like they were having a grand old time yanking the self-avowed deplorables’ chain. Who can say for sure…
And then there’s this issue. Apparently it troubles him not a whit that his #FakeNews site is *obviously* full of covfefe if they are publishing a photo taken by some unfortunate soul–who knows Billy socially–in Frederick and pretending it is people in Iowa. They must have a rigorous fact checking system! Heavens to Betsy! A brighter person would note that enormous red flag that their news source is entirely unreliable. “How unreliable?” might you ask the handy dandy Media Bias Fact Check? And we solemnly swear that they will also say Daily Kos and HuffPo need some independent verification as well (and Jimminy Christmas, stop sharing Natural Newson the internet already, people!)
In short, these two characters are dumb. Very, very dumb.
Joy to the World, they’re not in office! Let us rejoice each day!
Yesterday, Katherine Heerbrandt had Billy on her AM1450 radio program. And seriously, this woman must have the patience of a saint because the nonsense that came out of that man’s mouth would cause a lesser person to rain blows upon him! If you are brave, please go ahead and take a good old listening here. If you just can’t stomach it, we suffered for ya!
The talk starts with Trump. Billy claims this is the most organized campaign he’s ever worked on. He tells the tale of some rented office space by the movie theater used to peddle Trump gear. Katherine remarks that his campaign has been quite the booming business for him. To which Billy claims it’s an investment. He states the amazing thing about Trump is that you can sell things. Katherine remarks that’s not all that amazing, but Billy insists that it is because they made thousands of dollars at the fair tent! He goes on to disparage the Democrats for giving signs away by stating that they couldn’t make money off their gear! He’s just truth telling! When further pressed he claims they were only recouping their costs. Which does not reconcile with the statement of making thousands of dollars. We later learn from Billy, that like his hero Trump, changing your mind is a sign of having an open mind. So his mind must be wide open!
Katherine wants Billy to explain what experience Trump has that would make him a good leader. His first response is that he has experience with the deplorables. This whole deplorable nonsense apparently has bothered Katherine as much as it has us. First off she reads Hillary’s exact quote:
“You know, to just be grossly generalistic, you could put half of Trump’s supporters into what I call the ‘basket of deplorables,’” she said. “Right? The racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic — you name it.
So Billy apparently never heard the whole quote before because he yells out, “She said half of them!” And folks is this all for real? Is he being obtuse or is his reading comprehension level just really, really low? Even when he’s read a list of synonyms for the word deplorable he’s still sticking to it! He states that the problem with liberals is that they overthink everything. Because Hillary said if you have a husband and a wife that both support Trump then one of them is deplorable. And since it was standing room only at the tent to have pictures taken with the sign that must mean that he’s right.
Next up, our fellow truth seeker in arms, Adam Umak from Frederick County Fact Check calls in. He wants an explanation for why Billy abstains so much. Mr. Umak wants to know why this isn’t hypocritical since Billy lambasted Bud for not voting with the Republicans and here he is voting against Kirby and Tony. Well, Billy claims there’s no checks and balances that’s why he does it and it’s obviously working because look Adam you called in!
Mr. Umak has a second question. He asks Billy why it’s okay to tackle the drug problem in Frederick County but not the topic of human trafficking. Here we are treated to a whole bunch of nonsense about there not being a good enough definition, how the High Sheriff was left out and some malarkey about international dating and marriage falling under this category. Here’s how we feel about the subject of human trafficking in case you missed it.
Back to Trump. Katherine wants to know how Billy thinks Trump did in the debate. Billy claims he takes to the polls because he realizes he’s biased. And guess what people!? Trump won every poll! Katherine tries to explain to Billy that what he was referring to was internet surveys but he claims that’s all we have! So there! Case closed!
Your Lady Yokel’s nerves are about shot at this point. Billy goes on to claim that Trump’s language is fine because he’s from New York and people like it. Women only get offended because they are more susceptible to it. He trusts him to lead our country because he has his name on skyscrapers. He’s pressed to really answer why he thinks we should take a leap of faith on a man with no experience and we are given the reasons of Benghazi and how we are more racially divided now than we were in the 1960’s, and 30,000 emails and guess what? Now we want to:
We have one more caller. Rob from New Market calls him with a question about Trump’s budget. Billy makes an audible snore that we are sure he’ll eventually blame on a faulty microphone. The questioner states that an independent agency reviewed both budgets and found that Trump’s will leave us $9 trillion in the hole while Hillary’s will bring $1 trillion in growth. Billy tells us to just look at all the buildings.
Finally, Katherine asks if Billy would support North Korea. Billy says sure you need to get along with everyone. Katherine retorts, “But he’s crazy.” Well, just go to Dennis Rodman he’ll sort it all out. We don’t want to be #1 on their hit list, we want be #12 or something so we can give China time to take em out! Someone appoint Billy to the foreign service pronto!
The interview ends with Katherine telling him to stop wearing that shirt. LOL! Why should he? It’s an accurate description. At least he has that much introspection.
An alert reader reminded us that Billy stated that to be in government you had to leave 1/2 your brain at home. Is this Billy’s excuse for his poor performance as a county council member? Does he have a case for the 1/2 of the brain he can’t be bother to carry around with him? Just asking questions!