Oops. We spent so much of the weekend enjoying ourselves Yokel style that we almost forgot about Tuesday’s meeting agenda. 

We shall presume that the first portion of the meeting will go off uneventfully. The consent agenda (consisting of budget adjustments) will pass with 5 ayes, 1 yes, and 1 abstention.

Moving along we have the Third Reading Calendar, which unfortunately is about Adequate Public Facilities Ordinances and Developer Rights and Responsibilities. If past performance predicts future outcomes, our Tea Council/ProTrumpet Members will not like this, most especially Tony Chmelik. We recommend a Sober Tony (that’s Mountain Dew and rum, so y’all all have that on hand, right?) from the bar. Please drink it slowly; this part could take awhile.

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After the scheduled break, there’s a bill about the Volunteer Fire Departments in the Second Reading Calendar. It’s got a lot going on. Stuff about response times, establishes a chief for volunteer services, and most interestingly, a good hunk of it specifies that volunteer fire houses with career staff have to have: potable water! clean food service and prep areas! and adequate restrooms! You know, nicer than your average crackpot upstart roadside country wedding venue. Just take a swig of Fireball at any given time.

Now we arrive at Council Member Comments. Probably–again making predictions based on the prior observations–Billy will have a meltdown. Lately he likes to complain about the time wasted for this, that, and the other. You know, what other people consider doing one’s job. If this happens, or if anyone else throws a mantrum (notice our ladies never seem to have a problem counting to 10 before speaking?) crack open a Sweet Baby Jesus!