The part when Billy defies zero preconceived notions

Remember when we said Billy would waste everyone’s time trying to look like he was doing something productive but really wasn’t? Well, mostly that’s what just happened, except when he was even worse than that.

Ironically, he started with the Council Education Bill, looking to bring everyone up to his level of expertise (pfffffft! wait for more on what exactly that level is) concerning zoning, or else have them penalized by losing their voting rights on the council for zoning matters. This is…unconstituational completely implausible. Billy, you diminutive and dimwitted Banana Republican. Shut up!

We then learn that M.C. Keegan-Ayer took a two hour course on this out of personal interest, bless her heart, of course she did, and that sounds awful. Also, we learn that Billy did an online 15 minute thing back in The Y2K. If you can begin to imagine feeling smug about 15 minutes worth of education you got off the internet 18 years in the past, that’s what just happened! Before Twitter, even! Billy has the bittiest button of all.

Moving along to the Veterans Tax Credit Bill, which is state legislation he is presenting to the county, whilst giving the absolute impression that he has never read it before in his life. Do you have questions? Maybe someone else can answer them. “Caroline?” Like we said, moving along…

You tried star with lyrics: you tried so hard and got so far and in the end it doesn't even matter
Just kidding. You didn’t get far.

The next part is the best, because he is trying to get rid of anonymous reporting of zoning violations and guess why! Because he can cite two examples of businesses, both of which were actually violating the law, and someone ratted them out, and that person…might not even live here…? One time a letter came from Baltimore. Little known and possibly fake news: all us supposed local yokels all actually live in Baltimore and just follow Frederick county politics because it is theater of the absurd, and oh so fun to incite discord down the road. Like Russians, but more neighborly.

Come on. If another wedding venue owner wants to complain that the side hustle at the tree farm over yonder is cheating by breaking all the rules, what kind of sense does it make to hinder the person reporting on the problem? There are many reasons to guarantee that a complaint may be filed without knowing who is filing it or where they live or the names of their children and their pets. For the most obvious available example, not everyone is mentally stable. Also sometimes an employee may have to report their employer, or some other health or safety reason may be relevant. Just. Gah. Enough. Obviously we shall be the patron saints of anonymity.

The Public Safety Facilities Exemption Bill means Billy wants the volunteer fire company not to need permits for events. Jerry wisely points out that the social halls shouldn’t be exempted, and as someone who annually attends a big event at the one in Walkersville, that sounds copacetic.

Voila, Billy’s participation trophy awaits. We do hope he will continue to remind us of his “greatest hits” as election season nears.

pls stop trying star
Seriously. Enough now. Time for the grownups to take over. 2018 cannot get her fast enough.


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