Dream Job Available in Pastoral Frederick County

County council budget tutor. Part-time, no benefits.

Duties include:
Stand in a parking space for hours.
Read aloud.
Keep track of keys.
Undermine County Executive at every opportunity.
Simplify and explain budgetary concepts for kindergarten level.
Stock, pour and serve Fireball. Hide Fireball when necessary (without forgetting where bottles are stored).

Prefer someone experienced with tolerating insults and banal requests. Ability to snap back with witty sarcasm may prove helpful. Discretion with intra-office relations a must.

Keymaster uniform optional.
Keymaster uniform optional.

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