We swear we did not make this up:

From: Shreve, Billy
Sent: Thursday, January 07, 2016
To: 25 Ch. (E-mail); 270inc Business Magazine; Abby Theodros; Allen, Susan (E-mail); Ari Ashe ; Ashbury John (E-mail); Assoc Press – Baltimore; Baltimore Associated Press; Bethany Starin; Bill Green; Bill Ryan; Bill Starks; Blair Ames; bob Dunkle; Bob Miller; Brittany Marshall; Bruce Leshan; Carlos Martinez; Channel 9; Charlie Bragale; Cherney, Ragen; chris.gordon@nbcuni.com; Christian Alexandersen; Citizen Brunswick (E-mail); Clifford Cumber; Custom Briefings; Danielle Gaines; David Collins (E-mail); David Conrad; David Dishneau (E-mail); Dianah Gibson; Editor News Herald (E-mail); Emmitsburg News-Journal; FNP Community News; Frederick Chamber (E-mail); Frederick Magazine; Frederick News Post; Gettysburg Times (E-mail); Gina Gallucci; Gorilla Frederick Magazine; Graham Cullen; Harry Covert (The Tentacle); Hillman, Mike ; Jeremy Arias; Jeremy Bauer-Wolf; Jim Lee ; Jordyn Dowd; Karen Gardner; Kayla Brandon; Kelsi Loos; Ken Kellar; Kevin Dayhoff; Krista Brick; Laura Dukes; Laura Smitherman (E-mail); Lisa Bolton (E-mail); Loretta Gaines; Mallory Sofastaii; Mark Kraham; Marshall, Ryan; McManus Kevin; Melinda Woolbright; Michael Betteridge; Mike Persley ; Nancy Lavin; News 4; Paige Jones; Patsy Beckman ; Pattee Brown; Patti Borda Mullins ; Pete Amorgeanos; Pete McCarthy; Rachel Karas; Rebecca Savransky; Rob Walters; Robert Dacey; Robin Santangelo ; Sam Yu ; Santangelo, Robin; Scott Broom; Sonya Burke (Urbana Village Reporter) (E-mail); Susan Nicol; Syliva Carignan; Tanya Black; Tim Wheeler ; Tom Fedor; Travis Pratt; Washington Post; WBAL TV 11; WFMD; WFMD news desk; WHAG; WJLA; WJZ-TV 13 Baltimore (E-mail); WMAR-TV2 (E-mail); WTTG; WUSA; WUSA-Assignment Desk
Subject: FREDERICK COUNTY COUNCIL MEMBERS SHREVE AND DELAUTER REQUEST COUNCIL BUDGET DIRECTOR

Frederick County Council Members Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter request Council Budget Director. Please see press release below for additional information.

Thank you,

Council Member Billy Shreve
County Council
12 East Church Street
Frederick, MD 21701
PH: 301-600-1034

PRESS RELEASE

Issued by: Council Members Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter
Frederick County Council
Email: Billy@FrederickCountyMD.gov<mailto:Billy@FrederickCountyMD.gov> and KDelauter@FrederickCountyMD.gov<mailto:KDelauter@FrederickCountyMD.gov>

Issued January 7, 2016

Wanted – Council Budget Director

Help urgently needed!!!

We are responsible for a budget approaching $600 million and need a budget director. There are seven elected Councilman, but not one of us are accountants or CPAs, and the taxpayers deserve the service they elected us to provide. That’s why I am begging you to apply.

Job description – Sorry. After 13 months in office the council has failed to create a job description. In fact we have no plan to create one, and have no plan moving forward. That’s why am sending out this press release and urgent request for assistance.

If you have any budgeting experience I would like to hear from you. We need to hire someone quickly.

In 25 words or less tell me why we should hire you as our budget director.

Along with that, include in a cover letter if you would like to be full-time, part-time, have benefits, require a retainer, or are simply a company that can provide budget assistance.

Would you like to be hourly, salary, or contracted annually? When can you start?

While you are at it … Attach your resume.

If you can have something to me by noon Tuesday, January 12, 2016 that would be great! If you need more time something by Friday, January 15, 2016 at noon is OK, but I prefer Tuesday.

Send the items to Councilman Shreve & Delauter Billy@FrederickCountyMD.gov<mailto:Billy@FrederickCountyMD.gov>, KDelauter@FrederickCountyMD.gov<mailto:KDelauter@FrederickCountyMD.gov>, Subject line: Budget Director. If needed 301-600-1034.

We are a great group of people, very passionate, and love Frederick County. Unfortunately, for some reason, we have been collectively dysfunctional regarding hiring a budget director.

Unfortunately this is not a joke and we do need to hire a budget director immediately.

Help!!!!!!!!!

Sincerely,
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Billy Shreve Kirby Delauter
Council at Large Council District 5

First of all,  why wasn’t the Local Yokel included in this list? Now, our 25 word reply in rhyme:

We budget our twenty-five words

Applying to work for two turds

Who snivel and snit and act as dimwits

So at their ugly mugs we shoot birds.

Cheers, peckerwoods!
Cheers, peckerwoods!

Remember to respond to both of the council men! Let’s flood their inboxes!