As you have probably heard, the county council voted (6-1) not to put Trout Run on the historical register.

Now, now Xenu. No need for that!
Now, now Xenu. No need for that!

We here at Local Yokel were really surprised at how the votes laid out. REALLY SURPRISED! No public comment was allowed, but the council members were allowed to discuss the issue amongst themselves.

The discussion was prefaced with some really good remarks from one of our heroes, County Attorney Michael Chomel. He explained to all of us the language of the ordinance and specifically the legal meaning of the words shall and may. He told the council that they were on good legal footing if they were not persuaded by the arguments set forth by the petitioner, whom in fact has the burden of convincing the council that they do indeed deserve the designation. We love to hear good, succinct explanations and we appreciate all that Mr. Chomel has to go through at these meetings.

So then begins the discussion. At first no one wants to put forth a motion to even discuss this issue. But wait, here comes Billy! I will! I Will! He practically screams. He puts forth a motion to approve the designation. Sigh. But who are we kidding? We all knew that was coming.

Anyway, our favorite local history teacher, Mr. Donald steps in to refute the opinion that this property is in fact historic. Take for example the petitioners claim that this Adirondack style is rare. Well, Mr. Donald listed at least three properties within two miles of his house that look exactly like the buildings at Trout Run.

Me thinks I see lots of this kind of building around these here parts. Photo courtesy of Kimberly Mellon
Me thinks I see lots of this kind of building around these here parts.
Photo courtesy of Kimberly Mellon

Now comes Kirby’s turn. And we are sure we are going to hear why he’s going to approve this. After all, this is the guy who said he didn’t care what color drapes they hung. He starts out saying that what is or is not historic is subjective. And up goes the hairs on the back of our neck because we are sure we know what is coming. But NO! We were wrong! Kirby’s constituents have contacted him and not one single person was in favor of this. Kirby actually listened to those he represents and voted no! Now pay very good attention readers because we suspect this may not happen for a very long time, or maybe ever again:

Yes, Kirby! You get a tip of our hat for actually listening to the people you represent.
Yes, Kirby! You get a tip of our hat for actually listening to the people you represent.

Now we are back to Billy. And Good Xenu, was he in a state tonight. None of his buddies were backing him up and so he starting reaching for straws. Somehow Billy just knows the Chinese are laughing at us because we don’t have anything historic in this infantile little country of ours. He just knows! When he realizes all is lost we hear, “This is a sad day in Frederick County history!”

Well, Mr. Shreve we must object. When a goodly amount of people do not agree with a very small commission’s findings and organize themselves in such as way as our U.S. Constitution protects, we find that the opposite of sad. This property would NEVER be for the use of Frederick County citizens. It is not a rare example of its type of architecture. And nothing of historical significance took place within it’s boundaries. We are curious as to why Mr. Shreve was giving a New York Times reporter a tour of the property while spewing nonsense about Franklin Roosevelt using ramps that weren’t built until the 1980’s. Why is he so invested in this property? Why?

We are sure this is not the end of this. Scientology is famous for filing lawsuits and without a doubt one is coming. Alas, we will bask in the glory of tonight’s victory and hope for many more. If Narconon should rear it’s head once more, we found this hanging up in a local coffee shop:

image Feel free to go straight to the source.