Sheriff Joe Arpaio Chuck Jenkins was born in Frederick County and graduated high school in 1974. After 16 years in the communication satellite industry, he went through Harford County Law Enforcement Academy and in 1990 became employed by the Frederick County Sheriff’s Department. In 1993 Jenkins became a criminal investigator, and according to his real bio that was a very good thing for him, and he was inspired to go on and do a lot of other stuff. And that’s when we get into the crazy part.

Jenkins’ pet issue is illegal immigration, which boggles the mind. Newsflash: Maryland is not a border state. He must be sooooooo jealous of all the swagger that they get to jagger down in the Southwest, except most of those departments are doing other useful things for the sake of public safety, and not as into it as he and the Society of Tea Drinking Sheriffs, who according to their site sound vaguely treasonous (in a Civil War sort of way).

While one side of his mouth is protecting us from the government, the other ignores that it is part of the government. Sheriff Jenkins is in charge of a very special part of the government that never wants to investigate whether it may be going off the rails with the accidental killing a young man with Down’s Syndrome, or serving a warrant in the pre-dawn hours with a flash-bang. What could go wrong? Nothing, because when he jumps up and pulls out a gun, there are lotsa lotsa bullets to the rescue.

For these matters, Jenkins has been in the news–not just locally, but nationally–that’s how you can tell that your sheriff is awesome. His department gets national media attention (not really, this is probably almost never true). Jenkins seems to like to be in the news, though. Most especially for being “tough on illegals.” His county bio proudly crows what FOX News has to say about that. In short, he’s just the greatest guy with ties to a racist organization (FAIR) that you could ever meet.