frederick local yokel

Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition


October 2017

A trillion shades of NO!

We swear this isn’t a Halloween trick:

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Well, he possesses a modicum of self-awareness!

Does he really think that four years will be enough time for everyone to forget all he’s done? Let us spell out our reaction in a series of memes:

Sorry you had to be exposed to that Myrtle!


More shades Grumpy Cat! More shades!

Not to worry folks! With your assistance,we will make sure that everyone remembers his disastrous four years at the helm of our county. And, if people need to be reminded of his arrest, the way he cussed out the teenage ref, or any of the many other ways he behaved that shows just how undeserving he is of any of our votes, well…we’ll be here to remind.

The results are in! Please vote for us again!

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We got beat out by the hockey blog, but that’s okay!



Coming in second isn’t too shabby! If you want to push your Lady Yokels to the number one position, you still have the chance to do so by nominating us in Frederick Magazine’s Best of the Best contest until November 15th!

Legislative priorities: moonshine & mobile home edition

It’s that time of year when Frederick County decides what they want the State of Maryland to accomplish. Always fun, because it allows our Council bookends to get creative with their fantasy lives.



Our current favorite is Billy Shreve’s (failed) proposal that mobile homes be sold as real property and not as vehicles. Here is the best way to explain why it ain’t never gonna happen: what mortgage lender would find it in their interest to make a loan where the collateral can be up and VROOM VROOM coal-rolled right off into the sunset? He had another one about exemptions from the Forest Resource Ordinance that fell flat due to insufficient information provided. Why can’t they have a staff to understand things for him, freeing him from the obligations of his job?

Jerry Donald FTW with a measure to deregulate the liquor industry (if you click on the FNP link up above they say it’s come about because of something impacting a Brunswick brewery). YEEHAW! The current code does not allow smaller banquet facilities–those with less than a quarter of a million dollars invested in non real estate type stuff–to have a liquor license. Donald points out that this seems to be a measure to eliminate competition. Look, we’re all Republicans on this one. More competition! Oh wait, when was the last time a Republican busted up a monopoly? Never mind then. Still not Republicans.

Modest hat tip to hoodie clad and newly beardless Tony Chmelik (we get the feeling he was under the weather with that awful thing going around, and boy do we sympathize: get well soon, Mr. Chmelik!) for moving his school related priority through the Board of Ed. ICYMI, he wants homeschoolers to be eligible for county school sports teams. Kudos to him for being the lone current Republican of the Council who seems to understand how processes and procedures best work.

Y’all aren’t going to believe this one. The King of the Deplorables and his buddy (these are Billy Shreve and Kirby Delauter, if you’re new here–we’ve written a bit about this particular issue) voted against a position statement favoring providing support to youth victims of human trafficking. Billy interjected a complaint about not knowing what it was until they saw it written out, which becomes ultra weird immediately afterward when…wait, no. It’s already ultra weird. Gross.

Kirby. He had an idea about investigating funding for school resources, so that perhaps funds from the state allocated to one project might be moved to another if they are not used for the one they were intended for. He tried to inexplicably call this a position statement. This already had us furrowing our brows, so when fellow semantics enthusiast Jessica Fitzwater pinpointed the issue we were grateful. More than position statement, this seemed a (likely reasonable) call to investigate. It needs to become a fully fledged idea, and that’s fine–even for Billy–to leave in the hands of Roger Wilson and the County Executive’s office, even though we certainly had the impression that we don’t currently know precisely what it says. Perhaps we should simply be glad for a rare sign of good faith. Passed 7-0, too! Well done! Was this a moment of bipartisan harmony? Perhaps we were hallucinating.

There was what felt like a long hearing about the Forest Resource Ordinance. It had us mostly sawing logs like it was a zoning discussion. We did perk up when Kirby mused about what this was actually protecting and was told that there is a definition of forest and the county and the state use the same one. Guffaw!

That’s yer County Council, folks!


Ain’t’ too proud to beg! AGAIN!


We know we just asked you to vote for us in the FNP’s Best of the Best contest (those results will be released this Friday), but we need your voting powers one more time! It’s that time of the year when Frederick Magazine takes their nominations for their Best of Frederick contest. Please click on over and enter Frederick Local Yokel as your favorite blog! We will be forever grateful.

Legislative needs and trees! What a workshop this will be!


This evening the county council is going to have a workshop on their final legislative packet and changes to the Forest Ordinance. Billy, Kirby, and Tony have been pretty anti-tree so far, because…. developers.  We’ll let you know how it all turns out.

It’s poll time. But not our poll…

One of our frenemies is looking for information and has put out a survey because Frederick is just too darn big for her to knock on everyone’s door. There are only 11 questions so it shouldn’t take you too long to fill it out. Here is a sample question. See if you can figure out what is wrong with it.

Misleading question
Property tax rates have NOT increased. Property values have increased.

Your yokels like math so that makes sense right?

Math burn

Well, go ahead and take her poll if you want. Make sure you write in the issues that are important to you.

The bills are in the mail Afzali and Delauter!

On two separate occasions these past few weeks, our frenemies Kathy Afzali and Kirby Delauter have benefited from your Lady Yokel’s proofreading skills. Let us lay the evidence before thee.

Let’s start with Kathy Afzali. You may remember the post we wrote about her very poorly done website we posted on September 15th. We pointed out these glaring mistakes:

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Isn’t the heart sweet?
Well, now look at her website!

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Therefore, she gets one of these:

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You may think that’s a little steep! And all we have to say is, “FREE MARKET, people!”
Kirby is also receiving a bill. Just a few days ago we pointed out his egregious use of the Washington Post’s Fact Checker page’s Pinocchio icon. Not only the icon ,but also the fact that he spelled Pinocchio wrong.

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We received some info about these claims. Here are the real facts:

The County received its first AAA bond rating from Fitch in March 2010   (Gardner BOCC)

The County received its second AAA bond rating from S & P in July 2014 (Young BOCC)
The triple AAA from Fitch was maintained in the interim period.

The County received its third AAA bond rating from Moody’s in June 2016 (Gardner CE)
The triple AAA ratings from Fitch and S & P maintained in interim period.

The first time the county had AAA bond ratings from all three agencies was in June 2016.

Now, we know he will keep getting the facts wrong, however, he did correct his misspelling. It’s still beyond us why he’s putting the puppet’s name in quotes.

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Therefore, Kirby also receives one of these:



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We’ll let you know if we hit payday!!

Beating flies with sledgehammers: Your October 17th meeting round-up!

Tonight we finally had a public commenter in the form of Friend of the Yokel (FotY) Patrick Schempp. Patrick made some really good points concerning proposed changes to the DRAAs.

Billy votes against the agenda, for the budget amendments, and abstains from the minutes. No rhyme or reason whatsoever. Kirby needs a clarification about one of the budget adjustments. Rick Harcum comes to the rescue to spell the language out for him.

There are various confirmation votes on county executive appointments. All received 7-0 votes, except for someone on the Transportation Advisory Board that Billy votes against. Wonder what that person did to him! And if they want to be our friend!

Back for public hearings at 7:00.

First public hearing is on a bill that restricts recreational facilities that are designed only to serve residents in a development, to exist only within the borders of that development. Basically, if a development has a pool that only serves the residents of that development, it must be IN the development. Billy wants to know where his aerial photo is. Mr. Horn tells him it’s available. But Billy wants to know when Mr. Horn is going to wrap it all up in pretty paper and deliver it to his front door! Because you really don’t expect Billy to do any legwork on his own, do you? Jeez!

Tony wants to know if amendments are going to be added. Because folks,Tony says the Planning Commission voted against this 7-0. Nope!  It was really it 5-1-0, and he is told no. You see this bill had to come about because a development near Pinecliff had to run their water lines outside the development in to Ag land. For some reason both Billy and Kirby insist this incident has never happened in the county before. Staff want to make sure that running water lines through agricultural zones does not become a precedent just because it was allowed this one time.

Kirby says y’all are killing a fly with a sledgehammer and he’s totally against this bill. And man oh man, this guy wants to be county executive? I don’t think we are ready for over very own Ross Perot!


M.C. reminds everyone that this is not the time to be discussing amendments or changes of any kind. The point of a public hearing is to hear comment on the bill as written. The third reading is the time to discuss any changes. And man oh man, they’ve been doing this for almost three years now and she still has to remind them! Billy is rude as hell to the county lawyer when she tries to answer one of his questions by snapping, “I wasn’t talking to  you!” Hard to believe he’s still single, isn’t it ladies?

Maury delivers the truth to Billy!

Staff remarks that even though the Planning Commission voted against this bill they made no specific recommendations. Billy blurts out, ” It was so bad they didn’t even want to talk about it!” Such insight!

No one from the public felt the need to speak on this.

The second hearing was on Tony’s version of the Bussard Brothers’ bill. Once again, no one from the public was moved to attend. Ray Barnes passes out a memo with the planning commission and  staff recommended changes to this bill. Billy totally hijacked  this moment by asking for another aerial photo, which is then displayed on the screen. Billy recounts the tale of the owner of this woodchipping business. And then admonishes us all with these words, ” This is the American dream and we are crushing it! This is as Unamerican as it gets!”


Kirby very boringly reads off the aforementioned memo that Mr. Barnes distributed. And then to the shock all of your Lady Yokels,  he quotes an email from FotY Steve McKay. But, not before Kirby makes it very clear that he does not usually agree with  Mr. McKay nor is he the type of person that he would usually align himself with! However, Kirby does respect him because he shows up and he made some good points in his email. Stil, Kirby thinks this business should just be grandfathered in.

M.C. asks staff to highlight what they put in the memo and  for some reason causes all kinds of hullabaloo with Tony and Billy. Tony accuses M.C. of doing just what she was admonishing him for doing during the last hearing (not at all) and Billy complains that he asks for staff to come up all the time and is told that it’s inappropriate and now he has her on record! So there! Man, these dolts. But anyhoo, Mr. Horn returns to the desk in order to discuss what staff thinks.

We are thankfully spared the drama of council member comments because Tony, Kirby and Billy all decide to pass!  Thank Zeus for small mercies!

Until next time, enjoy this beautiful Fall weather.

Who really deserves the Pinocchio nose!?

Well, well, well, do we ever have something for you today! Every week or so, we check up on our favorite local politicians’ Facebook pages to see what we can see. And boy, did we see something!

Hope on over to Kirby’s county executive page and you’ll see some fresh new “graphics”:

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Let’s just put aside the misinformation for a moment and focus on the “Pinnochio” (sp) rating at the bottom. Besides spelling the beloved character’s name all wrong, we couldn’t help but notice we’ve seen the same exact icons somewhere else. Where you ask?

How about the Washington Post Fact Check page?

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We couldn’t find Kirby giving the liberal rag any props on any of these slides. Perhaps he thought if he spelled the name wrong he was okay. Nevertheless, to rip their icon off, and so poorly we may add, shows what a second rate operation this campaign really is.

If you want to see a true situation in which a Pinocchio nose would apply take a gander at this little jewel:

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Oh my! They really think they did a good job!
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That’s more like it!

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