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Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition

Month

January 2017

Guess whose lawyering up?

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We haven’t heard from Xenu’s enemies lately, however, the No Narconon at Trout Run page showed us they aren’t done with us yet:

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Three more lawyers are added to the fold! That means the fight ain’t over yet folks! They are gearing up to try and make their little brainwashing facility a reality.

In other lawyering news, we would like to congratulate our friends over at RALE who were dropped from the latest developer lawsuit! We know it’s not over for them yet, but small victories!

Hey, did ya hear the news? Clean water is NOT a right!

If you are in tuned to local issues, it’s very likely you’ve heard about the recommendations of the Monocacy Scenic River Advisory Citizen’s Board. If you are interested (and who isn’t interested in clean water am I right?) please peruse the report available  on the Frederick County website.

Since the river does not belong to any one person, and there is lots of science on the effects of riparian buffers on waterways, it is in our collective interest to protect this valuable resource. Clean water is a RIGHT. That’s right a RIGHT. For without it we cannot live. Perhaps you know that the human body is around 65% full of it! Wait..what’s that Council member #?”

2017-01-29

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Kirby would you read the damn report!!!! The whole thing!  Not just that report but also the Lake Linganore Source Water Protection Plan! The river belongs to all of us and we need to discuss how to protect it! Farmers, citizens, government officials, and scientists (yes scientists!) need to come together and rationally discuss how to best do that. And guess what? Not everyone is going to get their way! Some sacrifices, in the way of planting trees around the river, are going to have to be made.

According to numerous reports, we are in danger of having either a scarcity of  clean water OR water that is too expensive for many to afford. IN THIS COUNTRY. Read about the scarcity report here and the report about how 1/3 of Americans will not be able to afford clean water soon here. Due to global climate change, hydraulic fracking, and lack of investment in water infrastructure we are on the cusp of having a major problem in this country. We need to protect our waterways. You don’t have the RIGHT to pollute a communal water way because you own the property next to it.

If property rights are so important,even more than the right to that life sustaining combonation of hydrogen and oxygen, then can Kirby please explain his support for a wall along the border? You know the one that Texans aren’t so keen on because of all the land that will have to be grabbed up ? Oh, wait, that’s different right? #alternative facts

 

 

 

Is there money in the budget for a tutor?

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Perhaps candidates for office should be required to pass a simple competency test on how government works before they are allowed on the ballot. That certainly would have saved us from the horror called Shrelauter!
The entity known as Shrelauter frequently displays their ignorance of basic government functions. The election of Trump has not helped matters in our neck of the woods, as it has seemed to embolden the ignorance and pettiness of these two. While we thought #KirbyDelauter reached the apex of his ignorance with his tear-drop flow chart, it appears he’s still on his ascent up the Mountain O’Stupidity.

In yesterday’s Frederick News Post there was a story about the Monocacy River management plan. Now, without any evidence mind you, we are SURE that Kirby did not read this plan. He’s been lashing out at it from the start, and it’s only in the recommendation stage. You would think from his reaction the County Executive is “land grabbing” in order to build some waterfront mansions for herself and her cronies. But, nah it’s an effort to save the Monocacy from becoming a polluted mess. From what we’ve seen, it’s mostly an effort to plant more trees.

Well, Kirby, who was once an avid opponent of Executive Orders especially when they came from Obama or had anything to do with with ethics, is all of the sudden in favor of them. Check out this quote from yesterday’s story:

“Issue the Executive Order on Monday. I’ll be waiting for the announcement. If you choose not to issue it, it tells everyone you are behind this bogus plan to strip property rights, just as you have done for over 20 years,” Delauter wrote in an email to the county executive on Saturday.

Nice guy, isn’t he? There seems to be a pattern emerging among these folks. For the better part of four years Kirby and his ilk have  been bemoaning the tyranny of the E.O. Now, that their guy is in, or when it suits their purposes, well  you know it’s all different now.

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As you can imagine Jan had a reply to Kirby barking orders at her.  And man was it awesome:

“Kirby, Please stop misinforming people and do your homework,” Gardner wrote. “As I advised you previously, I do not have the authority to issue an executive order to stop the work of the River Board. The Monocacy River Scenic Advisory Board is created under state law. The Secretary of Natural Resources administers the program. Because this is a State program, I do not have any authority to stop or end the work of the River Board.”

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Things rarely do with #!
Can’t you just hear the exasperation in the County Executive’s words? We cannot imagine having to put up with this on a day-to-day basis. So this guy doesn’t understand that a county official cannot disband a state mandated board? Apparently, from her quote, she’s had to tell him that on more than one occasion!  Does he understand how any of this works? Don’t answer that. His suggestion to shut down the board is also eerily similar to the Federal social media blackout that we are seeing with those agencies most aligned with the sciences. Is that what Kirby thinks he’s going to do up here? Shut down the science when he doesn’t agree with it and/or doesn’t (can’t) comprehend it? Kirby, you need to stop these knee jerk reactions to everything and learn how to do your job. If that is not a thing you can do, please step aside so someone else can run in 2018.

What goes on behind closed doors?

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This afternoon the council is meeting behind closed doors:

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Are the Scientologists back in town? Or is something new afoot? If you know, email your Lady Yokels at: fclocalyokel@gmail.com

Feast your eyes on the worst flow chart in the history of forever!

For the last couple of weeks, we’ve been wondering where our old pal #KirbyDelauter’s been hiding out. Thankfully (?), he’s emerged! Last night he attended a meeting concerning the Monocacy River, and he is not going to be a grown up about it:

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Ain’t he cute folks? Instead of doing what an elected official is supposed to do, you know come into a situation with an open mind ready to listen to other opinions, etc. et al., we get that. Guess it’s all a part of that Brave New World we are living in. Wished that’s where it ended but naw…

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Matt Suebert: BAD! Suzan Thompson: GOOD! Don’t you just love this running commentary? Here is the piece de resistance:

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Anonymous Lady stop sciencing all over Kirby!!! You’re making him feel like a crackhead!  Kirby was super, super busy today:

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If your head hurts after reading all that you are NOT alone. Well this little post was the lead in to what has got to be the most GOD AWFUL flowchart in the history of humanity:

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Is that a teardrop? Because it is #SAD! Why does Jessica end up with all the money? Poor Jerry gets screwed, but he still has to donate to Jessica. M.C. and Jan are exchanging money so we guess it evens out. Jan is giving Carole’s money to Jessica. Bob and Jan are exchanging money and you guessed it…giving it to Jessica. And Jessica just takes, takes, takes!  We here at the Yokel had the tears of laughter flowing trying to discern this. Maybe this is the best way to express it:

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Welcome back #! You’ve certainly made up for time lost!

Local Yokels examine qualifications for YUGER and #MAGA things

After we’ve been honing our skills covering the nutty as fruitcake shenanigans of our local dingdongs, most particularly Shrelauter and their cuckoo cruise director (that would be former Commissioner and one time pseudogubernatorial candidate Blaine Young, in case you’re new around here), your locals are beginning to wonder if we could not be of better service to our fellow citizens by getting ourselves into the White House Press Corps.

We started to hear noise about tossing out the traditional media and adding a bunch of yahoos who don’t even bother to retract falsifications. This job sounds easy-peasy (not that that’s really our style–if we screw up, we’ll be the first to admit it). But, doesn’t that take the pressure off? Now that the executive branch of the United States seems local level loony, there are really no longer standards of decorum to adhere to at all. We’ve already been primed for this, so we should really have a chance to give it a go.

Of course, we would need to go incognito, because we mostly hate people. We don’t really want to walk among the teeming masses a lot of the time, so we try to stay in the shadows. That Guy Fawkes mask is already taken. How would we dress? Scream mask seems appropriate. We know we’re adversarial, but being freakishly conspicuous, plus adopting ridiculous and campy schtick really could be an asset to the presidential ratings gameshow. Hello Kellyanne playbook, we saw your goofy but oxymoronic Georgian England American inaugural outfit!

 

We are seriously full of wicked awesome ideas.
We are seriously full of wicked awesome ideas.

And now we’re getting all “intersectional” with Cam Harris tying our area to the national but artificial news (or alternative facts or whatever the crock we’re calling doublespeak now). The icing on the cake was learning that Trumpkin’s propaganda minister has had a five year long spat with Dippin’ Dots for no discernible reason, and this nugget alone is reason to suspect that our talents could definitely be put to use on a larger platform. Probably we’ve said too many critical things already and therefore we are bad fake news and not good alternative facts. Sad!

How did your Lady Yokels spend Inauguration Day? Watching the local Republicans eat their own..again!

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Friendship is fragile in these here parts!

Your friendly Lady Yokels were discussing how our own Frederick Republican party is a harbinger of the national party. If we are right, then there is hope to be had. We already elected and disposed of our own Donald Trump. We may have to wait four years for the real one to go, but surely this will occur! If this trend of the national reflecting the local continues, then the national GOP party is about to eat one another alive.

Do you remember a few weeks back when our nice local senator wanted to raise some money by raffling off an AR 15 rifle? You know the same kind of rifle used by that monster in Sandy Hook to end a bunch of little kid’s lives. You may ask why would an elected representative do such a thing? Well, because he’s a great defender of the 2nd Amendment that was bestowed upon us straight from the creator above! It’s true, according to Sen. Michael Hough, God himself is responsible for the 2nd amendment.

You may expect that his fellow Republicans would be all hunky dory with this. Especially since many of them are also great defenders of the Lord’s amendment. However, you would be very wrong indeed! In today’s Frederick Extra report we learn that Sheriff Jenkins believes that the good senator did not obtain the proper permits. And oh traitorous gods of yore, what did Hough do to piss Jenkins off ?! Unfortunately, Jenkins hands are tied until someone actually files a complaint. Wink, wink..any takers?

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Who will answer Jenkins’ call?

In the Extra Buzzz, we also learn that someone else is “concerned” about this raffle. “Someone” who has previously been very close to the senator, but now has some concerns! Where is the loyalty with these people?

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Thank you local Republicans, for giving us a chuckle on this day that we thought we couldn’t crack a smile.

 

Bastet’s sacred soundtrack

Rawr.
Rawr.

If you need a pick me up for the day Twitler is installed, or for the next weeks or years worth of mood enhancement and motivation, your Local lionesses have come up with some suggestions. These hopefully represent a range of tastes. We certainly welcome additional suggestions via comments, as many of us will need to dig out of some deep holes from time to time, no doubt.

Joint BOE/Council happy fun time meeting!

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Yesterday, the BOE and county council met for one of their joint sessions. It went very well! Wildly speculating that perhaps Kirby’s absence (where is that guy anyway?) perhaps freed people from having to talk about harebrained rent-to-own schemes. But who knows for sure?! Here’s some highlights:

  • Meeting agenda and minutes passed with NO issues. Take note Shrealuter!
  • Superintendent Alban spoke of two major factors that influenced the next year’s proposed budget:
    • Additional enrollment: 1,000 projected students and the positions needed to to face this growth.
    • The second year implementation to make the salary scales, not only for teachers but also for support staff and administration, more competitive. You know, so all of our good teachers and staff don’t run off to Montgomery County.
  • Other factors that have influenced this year’s budget are the legislative mandates to fund Epi-Pens and to translate IEP’s for students. This only has to be done for languages that are spoken by 1% of the population. In Frederick, only Spanish fulfills that requirement.
  • Frederick High is on track to open this Fall. So far, $3 million in savings has been found. Governor is also putting aside $339,000 for the LYNX program.
  • Butterfly Ridge Elementary-redistricting plans have been started and is expected to be contentious. Bids have been  received and will be processed soon.
  • Sugarloaf Elementary-Bids are being processed.
  • Urbana Elementary-Students will be moved to Sugarloaf when completed. Urbana will then be renovated or rebuilt, depending on costs.
  • Rock Creek-Must find a campus since they need to be near the general school population.
  • Waverly-future dependent upon what happens with the new redistricting and Rock Creek.
  • RFI (Request for Information) was sent out to the community for the old Lincoln School building.
  • No public or board or council member comments.

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