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Trying to shove local politics under your nose since before it was cool: Frederick County Edition

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March 2016

We’re about to turn 1: a tantrum worthy of a toddler is brewing!

It is unbelievable to your Yokel gals the lengths to which some of these people will go to in defending Blaine Young. A look at the paper today reveals an LTE, short and sweet. It’s so short it would have fit in one little block quote. Some lady admonishing the FNP for being mean.

Can we just ask? Why is nothing ever their fault? Kirby can make an ass of himself on a public forum, and it’s other people’s problem for noticing. Blaine allegedly can’t keep his pants zipped anywhere for any reason at a time period lasting for decades, and WE are the ones embarrassing his family (!!!!) according to the unwavering logical fallacy that is the hallmark of the County Council Watch page. Oh, and by-the-by, if you aren’t following the County Council Watch Watch, you should be! It will save you having to peek at the condition of that festering boil on the butt of the county.

And guess what, dear “Area Woman” of the Watch Watch! We don’t even have to be the voyeurs to your exhibitionist friend group. There is an entire network of concerned citizens who just occasionally lets us know when something interesting is going on. It’s just that simple. Probably they let everyone and their mother know about the same stuff, but the Baltimore Sun is staffed and paid to call everyone for comment. We’re just leading you to the same public information you could find any old time, but the internet made it faster. Like the White Pages. Remember when you had to look in a book? Well, no longer. Same with court records, Woman.

When we started this group one of our goals was to poke fun at the local mess so that maybe more people would be willing to pay attention to local politics. It’s absolutely not our fault if your weirdo sideshow makes the best scandals. Too bad that “Mexican” food for dinner is too boring to capture anyone’s imagination. Multiple sex scandals (even more than one with hookers), repeatedly doing stuff so dumb that the A.P. runs stories about how dumb you are, or the “je ne sais quoi” Billy contributes to the Honey Boo Boo vibe of Frederick county are just plain fascinating.

Get ahold of yourself, Woman!
Get ahold of yourself, Woman!

This matter of going after people’s kids. No one is going after kids, except for Area Woman trying to suggest it would be fine to persecute ours. We are absolutely in agreement with Blaine’s deleted Facebook apology (the one the Baltimore Sun screen capped and distributed like common stalkers, hahah!): his family and romantic partner(s?) need space. However, if a john’s kids feel ashamed by his gross behavior, that’s a john’s fault and he should have thought about that before breaking the law. It seems like there have been ample opportunities to learn this lesson:

Keep your crazy tucked in, people. And your other stuff, too, while you’re at it.

La la loopsy Xenu’s lawyer made an oopsie!

Loyal readers are aware that Xenu’s lawyer’s have filed a lawsuit against the entire county. That’s right folks the whole county!

Prepare to pay up!
Prepare to pay up!

Well, it appears that maybe a mistake was made because on the 25th they filed another suit and made sure that this time they spelled out The Frederick County Council.

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So who exactly is doing Xenu’s lawyering?

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Durp!

In the midst of scandal, county business marches on….minus one!

Blaine's naughty time has been taking too much of our time!
Blaine’s naughty time has been taking too much of our time!

Hey there Yokels! Blaine’s scandal has rightly taken much of our time these past few days. We did want to report on the short 26 minute meeting that took place this past Tuesday. “26 minutes,” we hear you declare! Well, there’s a reason for that. Old Billy boy was no where to be found. Maybe he was over in Anne Arundel County just begging for Blaine’s case to be dropped. Who knows?

We start off harmless enough. Kirby votes against the budget transfers because no way , no how is the Department of Aging allowed anymore money out of him! The only business of the evening is a public hearing on the impact fees. Only four speakers, so it went by quickly enough.

Without Billy, Council member comments also went off without a hitch! Kirby informs us that the Governor is on board with his idea of leased back schools. I wonder if the Governor has the same impression of that conversation. Then Jerry reminds us what happens when schools are built on the cheap. But hey, what does Kirby care about 50 years down the road? Chemlik chooses to keep his trap shut and we’re done.

I guess what we’ve learned from tonight is that if we want a short, concise meeting we need to make sure Billy is somewhere else.

Your Yokel Blaine Update!

Wowza! These past couple of days have been busy, busy, busy. We here at the Yokel keep asking one another, “Can you believe it?” To which the reply is always, “Well, yeah.” Let’s catch up.

After last night’s revelation that Blaine was charged with 4 counts of prostitution, he posts this on Facebook:

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This was quickly removed, we imagine under his lawyer’s advice.
Can't pin this one on the demons, gotta take responsibility Blaine!
Can’t pin this one on the demons, gotta take responsibility Blaine!

Later in the day the Baltimore Sun releases the charging documents. And never a more sordid tale have we read. So it appears that Blaine went on a website called back page and clicked on the naughty adult section. There he was intrigued by an ad that promised:

Guaranteed fun, freaky & fetish friendly with all services covered.

Mr. Young then drove the hour or so out to a hotel in Linthicum, paid his $60 (!) and  proceeded to undress. Then the awful, albeit obvious to just about anyone else, truth was revealed to him. He was not in a “fetish friendly’ environment. He was in the middle of a sting operation. And holy Dateline episode, of course we all saw this coming. If you want to read more choose from any of these available stories:

At least this story didn't read: "County Executive Blaine Young...."
At least this story didn’t read: “County Executive Blaine Young….”

Soon we’ll go back and see what Blaine had to say about all that Black Book hullabaloo. It doesn’t seem to be the bunch of nonsense he once claimed it to be.

 

And you wanted to be our County Executive….

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Breaking news Yokels! It appears that our former BOCC President and wannabee County Executive has gotten himself into a bit of trouble:

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Oh me oh my! I suppose the black book chickens have come home to roost. We know that those charged with a crime are presumed innocent, but still….

This drinking game will have an impact!

Run Crookshanks!
Run Crookshanks!

The rapid succession of meetings and workshops are really testing our drinking game skills. Thankfully, this meeting is rather short and sweet.  But we will not be surprised if Tony pulls something like this before the night is over:

I do not like fees. No siree. I will not let this be. Don't y'all see? All the developers love me!
I do not like fees.
No siree.
I will not let this be.
Don’t y’all see?
All the developers love me!

Grab your agenda and follow along!

Budget transfers, consent agendas, only one fool disagrees. Mix yourself a pitcher of Sangria to take the edge off.

Second reading of the bill to make revisions to Public School and Library Development Impact Fees and Annual Adjustments . We’ve heard a lot of words out of Tony’s mouth over this and how it’s a very bad, evil proposition. Hell, it even started the case of the mysterious developer! If Tony’s rant lasts longer than 30 minutes slam back a Red Hot Explosion…or two!

Next up is another second reading. A related topic:  Revisions to APFO School Construction Fees and Annual Adjustments. If Kirby tells some cockamamie story about Jan putting a gun to developer’s heads to make them pay up (yes that’s a thing that happened) chug your Raspberry Bulldozer.

Now you’re off the hook until April 5th!

Have a concern about development in your area? Better lawyer up!

How dare you question the developer?!
How cute! County citizens thought they had a voice!

For years we  labored under the delusion that the 1st amendment mattered. Along comes Roy Stanley’s lawsuit and shatters that illusion. It’s really silly to admit that we whole-heartedly believed that American citizens were allowed to assemble and petition the government. In fact, our urbanite education kinda instructed us that it was our duty to do so. Some nonsense about it strengthening our democracy and making sure the most powerful voices didn’t always win out.  It makes us blush because we now realize that we have been stuck in our post adolescent idealistic phase for a couple of decades.

Perhaps we should thank Mr. Stanley for waking us up and making us face the  harsh realities of the world.  We get that Mr. Stanley wants to move on with his development. And while we don’t agree with his premises about C. Paul Smith’s FACT letter, nor do we think he will win, we get why he would sue the county government. What we cannot imbibe, and what has shattered our faith in American democracy, is that fact that he decided to add members of RALE to his lawsuit.

For those of you not familiar with RALE (Residents Against Landsdown Expansion), please visit their website. In short, they are a group of concerned citizens in Monrovia. They banded together because they were concerned about the amount of development and lack of improvements that were being proposed in their neighborhood. They have faithfully attended every meeting, spoke their minds  (especially Steve McKay) and called foul when they believed certain political officials were not only listening to developers, but were in cahoots with them.

We here at the Yokel were lucky enough to get a copy of said lawsuit.  Count III is the only part that we see that includes RALE, though we are still not exactly sure why. See for yourself:

COUNT III DECLARATORY JUDGMENT (all Defendants)

149. Plaintiff adopts by reference the allegations contained in Paragraphs 1 through 148 of this Complaint with the same effect as if herein fully set forth. 150. This is an action for declaratory judgment pursuant to § 3-409 of the Courts and Judicial Proceedings Article of the Annotated Code of Maryland, for the purpose of terminating uncertainty or controversy between parties with antagonistic claims that will likely give rise to imminent or inevitable litigation. 151. There exists an actual controversy of a justiciable issue between the parties involving the rights and liabilities of the parties. The County Council is determined to force the Plaintiffs to present their rezoning application anew to the Planning Commission and then to the County Council, and the Plaintiffs maintain that the County Council has violated the Court’s March 10, 2015 Order, violated Maryland’s impermissible change of mind rule, and denied the due process to the Plaintiffs. 152. The actual controversy between the parties is within the jurisdiction of the Court. 37 153. The antagonistic claims between the parties indicate imminent and inevitable litigation. 154. A declaratory judgment by this Court will terminate the actual controversy between the parties. WHEREFORE, Plaintiffs, 75-80 Properties, L.L.C. and Payne Investments, LLC, respectfully request that the Court enter an Order: (a) Declaring that the purpose of the Court’s Order of March 10, 2015 was to direct the County Council of Frederick County to conduct further proceedings, including testimony, to resolve the issues raised in the Court’s March 10, 2015 Order, i.e., to determine what significance, if any, the FACT Letter played in the former BOCC’s approval of the Plaintiffs’ PUD rezoning application for the Monrovia Town Center; (b) Declaring that the statements of Councilmen Shreve and Delauter at the June 9, 2015 public meeting of the County Council that the FACT Letter did not have any impact on their decisions to vote to approve the Plaintiffs’ PUD rezoning application for the Monrovia Town Center, together with former Commissioner Young’s Affidavit submitted to the administrative record to the effect that the FACT Letter was not a determinative factor in Commissioner Young’s decision to vote to approve the Plaintiffs’ PUD rezoning application for the Monrovia Town Center, effectively resolves the question as to the significance of the FACT Letter; (c) Declaring that the testimony and Affidavit of the decision-makers, Councilmen Shreve and Delauter and former Commissioner Young, establishes that the FACT Letter was not significant in that the FACT Letter did not have any effect on the votes of a majority of the 38 former Commissioners to approve the Plaintiffs’ PUD rezoning application for the Monrovia Town Center; (d) Declaring that since the FACT Letter did not exist when the Frederick County Planning Commission unanimously voted to recommend approval of the Plaintiffs’ PUD rezoning application, the County Council violated Maryland’s impermissible change of mind rule by remanding this matter back to the Planning Commission with instructions to the Planning Commission to review the Plaintiffs rezoning application again from the beginning; (e) Declaring that County Council has taken a patently unreasonable amount of time in addressing the Court’s March 10, 2015 Order, that the County Council does not have a valid reason for the unreasonable delay, and that the delay violates the Plaintiffs’ Fifth Amendment rights against deprivation of property without due process of law; and (f) Granting such other and further relief as this Court deems just and proper.

Are we to discern that they want the court to get rid of all antagonist influences? If others have problems with this development, are they not allowed to voice those concerns? And this FACT letter…how can anyone take Young, Shreve and Delauter’s word on this?  We hope, like in the case concerning Trout Run, that our fellow citizens ,who are guilty of nothing but voicing their concerns, are stricken from this suit. Can you imagine the precedence it would set if all developers had to do was to reach into their deep pockets to silence the dissenters with litigation?

Speaking  of litigation if you would like to help RALE out go to their website and click donate.

The path back to power is long and rambling.

Man, how bad is it when even Donald Trump doesn't like you?
Man, how bad is it when even Donald Trump wants to distance himself from you?!

Yokels, if you’ve been with us from the beginning you know that  Blaine Young is the reason that we started this little blog.  As we read his letter to the FNP entitled:

Blaine Young: ‘Work together, or nothing will get accomplished’

we knew we had to do something. Our first instinct was to go on an angry, drunken rampage through the streets of Frederick. Cooler heads prevailed and we instead decided to start a blog on the corruption and down right craziness that exists in our local government.  For almost a year, certain characters have kept us very, very busy. Even the one that promised we wouldn’t be hearing from him for 10 years.

In fairness, or because they wanted us to have an endless stream of material, someone at the FNP has given Blaine  a column. It’s always terrible, and today was no exception.  Let’s begin with the title:

What does ‘open for business’ mean anymore?

Sorry Hoots, but if we had to endure it so do you.
Sorry Hoots, but if we had to endure it so do you.

Didn’t he hear that when Jan took down the “open for business” signs all local businesses, especially hot dog stands, were required to shut down? I mean really Blaine, get with it.

The first few paragraphs are dedicated to educating us to how Democrats ruin everything. Of course! Republicans, on the other hand, would like to get rid of ALL regulations, except those that protect the public. To do otherwise would be picking the winners and losers.  Then we are treated to his views on  government services (Keep in mind folks, this guy was in charge of our government for 4 years and wanted to become our County Executive. Man we dodged a nuclear weapon!):

Sometimes the government would even go into business competing against the private sector, such as a golf courses, health and fitness, aquatics, nursing homes, entertainment, hotel and conference centers — just to name some categories close to home.

So is it his contention that the government provides  recreation and medical services just to stick it to local businesses? There couldn’t possibly be other reasons could there? Like cost, accountability and equal access?  Hmm, let’s continue….

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Sorry Sprinkles, we’re almost done.

His enlightened views on the tax code:

The tax code is a mess on all levels, local, state and the federal, but we created this mess. We desperately need tax reform and a simpler, more equitable tax code. I’d propose either a flat tax or fair tax. But this will never happen, because politicians would lose the power to directly benefit those who helped elect them.

Sigh, then he meanders his way back to Maryland.  You know the most business unfriendly entity on the face of the Earth!?  Because folks, no Fortune 500 companies operate out of Baltimore.  Thankfully, though, the Gods of fortune have heard Blaine’s cries for help:

It was a major step to elect a governor who understands how business works. Gov. Larry Hogan actually owned and operated a business that employed people. Now, no disrespect to other small-business owners, but unless you have a business location and employ at least a handful of people, it’s hard to understand the everyday challenges that a business owner encounters. In my opinion, career politicians who have never owned a business are the core of the problem, and this needs to be addressed if we are ever really going to have a government that encourages free enterprise instead of stifling it.

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Hey Guv, Blaine wants to know if there are any open positions on your staff.

We are happy to know that Governor Hogan employed people instead of let’s say baboons. Business people of course have a perspective to bring to the table. But not the only perspective. So is Blaine actually advocating that business people are the only ones qualified for public office? It sure seems so. Things haven’t been working out so well on  that front though:

We have very few business people serving in elected office or who ever aspire to serve. When I look locally, I can only find one, and they are trying to drive him out of business or out of office.

Who, pray tell, is he referring to? A real stumper!

Well, Blaine has a  solution to all of our anti-business woes. There’s only one person brave enough to strip all regulations, ban all governmental functions and get this country back on course again! Are you ready folks?!:

This is why I believe Donald Trump has hit a nerve in this election cycle. Some people say we need a successful business person who tells it like it is to straighten this country out. Now, we always want to start at the top to fix our problems but it’s Congress and the state Legislature that needs to be changed first.

“Some people”:

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Do these mysterious “some people” really think that Trump is qualified to run the free world because he’s run a trazillion businesses into the ground? Is it a fair trade to elect a racist misogynist xenophobe to the highest office because he’s employed people? How can that be a reasonable action to propose? Oh yeah right, it’s Blaine.

If you do get a chance to read the article, MAKE sure you read the comments. They’ll give you a chuckle or two.  In all fairness, not everyone was upset about this column:

Why is everyone always calling Billy? Stop it people!
Why is everyone always calling Billy? Stop it people!

 

Item EFF on the agenda

The dreaded budget analyst conversation. The sole acceptable, qualified candidate for the job withdrew his name from consideration. One can only speculate why being at Billy (and Kirby)’s beck and call was unappealing. We didn’t apply for the job ourselves, that’s for dang sure.

A brief rundown of the discussion:

Right out of the gate Billy starts the sniping tone. Blah blah blah woof woof woof. Petulant child. You know the drill.

M.C. says they have endeavored to find out what is done elsewhere, looking at similar counties in Maryland. Turns out Wicomico, Cecil and Harford’s county councils don’t have budget analysts because they are legislative bodies. Anne Arundel, Baltimore and Howard’s have a county auditor, but that doesn’t make sense for Frederick because the council isn’t responsible for that function.

Jerry throws out a novel idea. Specifically ask the departments what they have, what they need, if things have been working out in the past, etc, etc, etc. As for these personal visits with county staff, “A number of us went to a number of things.” Jerry, ever the educator, charmingly refers to this as “the budget education process.” We are left to speculate about who amongst them made up the education seeking numbers. And also, based on the historical record, who probably didn’t.

M.C. reiterates this concept of communicating with the staff. Hiring someone takes time and money, and she points out the irony that she is taking the conservative position here (she didn’t say, “guess who isn’t,” but we’ve pointed that out before). Summing up her position, she (can do math?) doesn’t need someone to say, “Yup, those numbers balance.”

Tony: I agree with that.

M.C.: I have a little wax in my ears…

Local Yokel: hahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaa

Whut???
Whut???

 

Seems like nobody’s on poor Billy’s side anymore.

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